"C'mon, Castiel. You're going to make us late." Gabriel called to his brother, banging on his bedroom door obnoxiously.

"I will be downstairs shortly." Castiel responded back, his voice at it's normal soft volume. He stood with his back to the door, ears straining as listened to Gabriel's footsteps head down the hall and downstairs. Castiel let out a breath of relief, thankful to be alone again.

It was his first day at Sioux Falls High and he was nervous. Castiel knew better than to take his concerns to his family. They would tell him to suck it up, stop being a child and get on with it already.

But Castiel hated moving. He hated going to a new school and being the center of attention, even if it only lasted for a little while. It made his palms sweat and shake with anxiety and just generally made him feel miserable.

This was the fourth time Castiel had moved in his high school years so far, and he was only a junior. He hated the constant switching of schools, and how he never settled in one place long enough to make a steady group of friends.

Although, Castiel pondered as he gathered his books and zipped up his backpack, it wasn't really the amount of time he spent in one place that was the problem. It was what he did in that amount of time. Which was usually nothing.

Castiel was incredibly shy. He knew that, and felt no particular shame in it, though it could be extremely annoying. He was too shy to go up to someone and introduce himself, let alone try to make friends with anyone. And so far, no one had found anything interesting enough about him to make the effort to be friends with him, so he was alone more often than not.

Castiel didn't really mind being alone though. He had learned throughout his life that it was usually better to be quiet and alone then to speak your mind. Speaking your mind and expressing how you felt only led to trouble, which, of course, Uriel was a great example of.

Castiel's eyes widened at the thought and he snatched up his backpack and bolted out the door as if burned. He wasn't allowed to think about Uriel, no one was.

On the ride to school that morning, crammed into the backseat beside Gabriel and their backpacks while their mother and Michael rode up front, Castiel struggled to control his anxiety and redirect his thoughts to safer topics.

Unfortunately, all he could think about was how awkward today was probably going to be and Castiel literally cringed away when they pulled up to the school.

Before he could get out of the car and escape the crippling enviroment, his mother turned around and said, "Castiel, be sure to ask your teachers if there is any immediate make up work you need to do. If you have to stay after school today, call home first and make sure you're back by supper."

Castiel nodded, uttering a soft, "Yes mother." She nodded and unlocked the doors, driving swiftly away the second Castiel and Gabriel hopped out.

Castiel stared up at the large, brick building with trepidation. His normally blank expression must have faltered somewhat because Gabriel put an arm around his little brother's shoulders and said, "Don't worry little bro, you'll be fine."

Castiel started at the contact, as it was very unusual for anyone in his family to show physical affection. Thankfully, it was over quickly and Gabriel gave him a quick smile before heading into the school.

After taking a deep, soothing breath, Castiel marched purposefully towards the building and headed to his first class. His day went by pretty much as he expected, with the majority of students showing curious interest in him. He answered their questions vaguely, feeling immensely uncomfortable with all the attention he was getting.

Nothing extraordinary happened though, and at the end of the day Castiel found himself in the office, calling home to tell his mother that his science teacher agreed to work with him after school to catch him up on a few things.

Once he had permission Castiel walked stiffly into his science class and sat down in the front row, pulling out his textbook and notebook disinterestedly. It wasn't that Castiel disliked school, he was actually rather fond of it. He just hated how the constant moving messed up his studies and made it so he had to stay after school to catch up.

He spent a few minutes idly going over the chapter he was supposed to be getting help with when a slight commotion at the door caught his attention.

"You're supposed to give me a ride home, Dean!" A small boy was saying, his face screwed up in irritation. He was glaring at an older boy, his mop of brown hair falling into his eyes.

"Well, it's not like I planned on getting detention Sammy." The older boy, Dean, said, shrugging his shoulders. Castiel's eyes trailed along his body and he felt an instant appreciation for this boy's body.

The second the thought appeared in Castiel's mind he shook his head roughly and refocused on the chapter. Sharp pin pricks of shame doused his body and Castiel sat completely still, not a single muscle moving as he mentally berated himself for the slip up. Castiel mentally screamed at himself that he was wrong, sinful. Castiel couldn't keep letting himself slip. He couldn't think this way, or else he was going to burn in hell and he would shame his entire family. If anyone found out he was having these thoughts...

Castiel shivered, his body quaking with fear. If his family found out that he was... wrong, they would murder him. He hated it, this wrongness inside him. Castiel didn't understand why he thought like this, why he felt like this. All he knew was that it was wrong, and that he could never act on these feelings. Never.

Flipping a page, Castiel determinedly blocked out the rest of Dean and Sam's conversation and focused only on his book. Dean came in and sat down next to Castiel, huffing out an irritated breath.

Castiel can literally feel the heat coming from Dean next to him and he struggles not to fidget in his seat. He sternly reminds himself that he feels nothing for this boy. Dean is a boy. Castiel is a boy. Therefore, he feels nothing for him. No attraction. None what-so-ever.


"You were supposed to give me a ride home Dean!" Sam whined, giving his brother one of his patented bitch faces. Dean rolled his eyes at his brother, shrugging his shoulders.

"It's not like I planned on getting detention Sammy." Dean said unapologetically. This certainly wasn't his first detention, especially from this teacher. Dean smirked as the thought brought up memorable past detentions with this particular teacher. It had become a sort of struggle of wills between the two and Dean never backed down. It wasn't in his nature.

"Come on, Dean." Sam scoffed, reaching up to sweep his bangs out of his eyes. "You always try to piss Mr. Morgan off."

"Hey, he starts it." Dean defended himself, his hands clenching into fists in his pockets. Mr. Morgan was one of the most stiff, old-fashioned people Dean had ever met. The guy had a serious problem with anything that didn't fit his certain set of values, including gays. And Dean, being an out-and-proud gay, really seemed to get under his skin.

It wasn't Dean's fault though. Dean wasn't going to be ashamed of who he was, no matter who said otherwise. Most of this school was actually fairly tolerant. There was a great GSA that Dean usually went to and same-sex couples could buy prom tickets and everything. That didn't mean there still weren't a few jerks around though. It was just Dean's responsibility to make those jerks think twice before messing with him, or anyone else like him.

"Yeah, I know." Sam admitted, sighing. "Do you want me to wait for you?"

"Nah, you should call Bobby. I might be a while." Dean said and Sam nodded.

"Alright. Try not to goad him too much today, alright?" Sam pleaded.

Dean smirked and said, "Sure, Sammy." Sam sighed, knowing Dean's expression never amounted to anything good and walked off down the crowded hall. Dean sighed once Sam was gone and turned to walk into the classroom, preparing for an hour of boredom when he stopped.

There was a boy sitting in the front row, his nose in a textbook. There was something odd about his posture though, Dean noted as he walked over and sat beside him. He was too rigid, too stiff. It was unnatural.

Dean frowned, wondering if he had gotten detention too. "Hey, Mr. Morgan stick you with detention too?" Dean asked amicably, giving the kid a small smile.

The boy raised his head from the textbook with a decidedly blank expression that frankly startled Dean. He had never seen anyone look so apathetic before in his life and it raised goose-flesh on his arms, making him shift uncomfortably.

They made eye contact after a moment and Dean's eyes widened, a shiver of heat running through his body. The eyes he was staring into were a beautiful, ocean blue. They were swimming with all the emotions that couldn't be expressed on this boy's face and right now his eyes screamed of fear and self-depreciation.

Dean frowned, wondering what could be upsetting the guy so much. He considered the possibility that he was just over reading, but he dismissed the thought almost immediately. Dean was a people person. Seriously, he could read people a thousand times easier than any book.

"No." The voice was so small and soft that Dean almost missed it. Would have missed it, if he hadn't seen the guy's lips move.

"Oh." Dean said lamely. Clearing his throat, he added, "What are you in for, then?"

The boy's gorgeous eyes flickered down to his textbook before looking back up at Dean. He didn't make eye contact again, instead choosing to stare at some point over Dean's shoulder. "Mr. Morgan has some make up work that I am required to do." He said, his tone unusually formal.

Dean simply nodded and looked around the room, wondering where the teacher was. He was grateful that the jerk hadn't shown up yet, but he also sort of wished that he would come and interrupt the awkward small talk Dean was now stuck making.

"Oh." Dean said again. He shook his head, flushing slightly and said, "I'm Dean."

The boy's eyes flickered into Dean's for a second before looking away again, and Dean couldn't help but feel shocked at the depths within them. The guy was beautiful, and Dean didn't find a lot of guys he could describe that way. There was something different about this boy though, and Dean felt an instant attraction to him.

"Castiel." Dean's eyebrows lifted at the unusual name, but he smiled at Castiel anyways. He had never heard that name before, but something about it sounded right on the boy sitting next to him. He looked like a Castiel.

Suddenly, the name sparked a recognition in Dean and he asked, "Hey, you must be one of the new guys, right?"

Before Castiel had the chance to answer, Mr. Morgan walked back in the classroom, shutting the door audibly behind him. "Mr. Winchester, what do you think you're doing?"

"It's called talking." Dean snarked, glaring at the man.

Mr. Morgan glared back, his eyes narrowing in thinly veiled disgust. "This is detention, not recess. I want you in the back of the room, now."

Dean rolled his eyes but had no choice. He stood up and gave Castiel a quick look, but Castiel's attention was already refocused on the book. Sighing, Dean made his way to the back of the class and sat down, his eyes on the clock.

Mr. Morgan went over to help Castiel with his chapter and Dean couldn't help but watch the new kid. He was definitely gorgeous, with soft, almost feminine features and wide, innocent blue eyes. Dean was attracted to him immediately, but he couldn't tell if Castiel felt the same.

He was shy, and very awkward too. But it kind of just made him more adorable. Dean wanted to talk to him, get to know him. Maybe he could offer to show him around the school or something since Castiel's new. Dean planned on talking to Castiel once he got out of detention, but when he left Castiel was still working with Mr. Morgan sitting right next to him, so he had no option except to leave without a word.

Dean walked out to the parking lot and slid into his classic 1967 Chevy Impala. As he drove home, his thoughts revolved around the new and mysterious Castiel. There was something about the look in his eyes that had Dean worrying his bottom lip between his teeth.

Castiel was beautiful, that much was obvious. He had a lithe body with no bulging muscles, but a firm frame. His electric eyes were almost excruciatingly expressive and it made Dean wonder what he was hiding. Why was it that Castiel could only show those emotions through his eyes, but felt the need to keep his face closed off?

Dean was intrigued by Castiel and he was determined to get to know him. First thing tomorrow morning, Dean would find Castiel and talk to him.


After Mr. Morgan released him from the science room Castiel decided to walk home. It was only about an hour's walk and he needed to time to think.

Castiel had been unable to pay attention after his encounter with Dean. No matter how hard he tried, he couldn't get the image of Dean's friendly smile out of his mind, the way his full lips parted when he spoke.

Scorching tendrils of shame curled themselves around Castiel's body and he struggled to push those thoughts aside, his heart rate picking up fearfully. He knew how wrong it was to have those thoughts. Castiel knew that it was wrong and sinful to have those types of feelings for another man.

He had to learn how to ignore it. Castiel had been doing it his whole life. Ever since he first found out that he was... different, he struggled to hide it, and therefore himself, from his family. He learned how to remain perfectly still and calm in tense situations and he maintained a tight control on his thoughts to keep them from straying toward those unsavory topics that Castiel knew would get him in so much trouble.

For some reason, no matter what Castiel did he couldn't stop thinking about Dean. The look in Dean's eyes when they met, the way he had tried to start a conversation, his unusually pretty features...

"Stop that." Castiel growled aloud, squeezing his eyes shut for a second. He had to stop this. He couldn't keep thinking about this one boy. Castiel knew that his life would never be the way his parents wanted it to be. Castiel would never be happy married to a woman. But it was what his parents expected so he would marry and have children and be a responsible church goer. There was no other option for him, it was his destiny.

When Castiel finally made it home, he felt somewhat calmer and was determined to keep his thoughts under control. Dean would not enter his mind again, it just wasn't going to happen. Castiel wouldn't allow such a blasphemous intrusion.

The instant Castiel walked inside his home he felt his heart clench with terror. His mother was right in front of him, making dinner, and Castiel felt as if she could know every impure thought he had today just by looking at him. He froze, his hand clenching the door knob tightly until she turned around and looked at him, her piercing eyes boring into his frighteningly.

"Well, close the door, Castiel." She snapped, giving him an irritated look. Castiel hurried to obey and she nodded, then turned back around to continue making their supper. "You're late. Go help Gabriel set the table."

"Yes mother." Castiel responded, eager to leave her presence.

Castiel hurried into the dining room and let out a relieved breath at the sight of Gabriel, with his back to the door, clearly procrastinating setting the table. Sometimes, Castiel wondered how his brother managed to survive in their family since he really didn't seem to hold much belief in their values. Still, Castiel mused, over the years he had become excellent at avoiding their parents and keeping secrets, so that must help.

"Hello, Gabriel." Castiel said quietly and Gabriel whipped around, a hand reaching up to clutch his chest dramatically.

"Castiel! You scared me." Gabriel admitted, his voice louder than Castiel's but still quiet enough so that no one else in their family would hear him. Gabriel was sneaking his pre-dinner candy bar, and his fingers were covered in the chocolately substance. Castiel frowned disapprovingly and glanced behind him to make sure no one was about to come in. Gabriel rolled his eyes and began licking his fingers obnoxiously. "Relax bro, no one's going to know."

"You should be more careful, Gabriel." Castiel admonished his brother softly as he went about setting the dining table.

Gabriel shrugged and finished off his fingers, then slipped the now empty candy bar into his pocket for later disposal. Gabriel walked over to his brother and followed him around the table as he set it, hovering but not helping. "How was your first day?"

"It went well." Castiel replied tonelessly, feeling a slight jolt at the question. Dean was the first thing that popped into his mind and Castiel struggled desperately to squash the thought. So much for that control he thought he had.

"You sure?" Gabriel asked, brows furrowed. "You look a little... upset. Somebody I gotta beat up for ya?" Gabriel asked playfully, reaching out and gently punching his brother's shoulder.

Castiel gave Gabriel a small, amused smile and shook his head. "No, I have not run into any bullies yet." Castiel enjoyed talking to Gabriel, he was his favorite of all his siblings. Castiel felt like he could connect to Gabriel the most because he was the most like him. He disobeyed their parents frequently, but the only reason he got away with it was because he was an expert at not getting caught. Castiel looked up to him and always wondered if there was some way he could be more like Gabriel. But the mere thought of disobeying his parents made Castiel quake with fear, and he knew that there was no way he would even try to go against his parents.

Before they could continue their conversation, Anna walked in and soon after her Michael. Their mother came in shortly after with dinner and they sat down together to eat. Their father wasn't home that night, which really wasn't that surprising. He was a very well known and out spoken priest, and he frequently traveled around to give speeches and sermons around the US. That was why Castiel tended to move often, because a new church was always calling begging for his father's help, and his father could never resist.

Castiel was glad that his father wasn't here tonight. It was a terrible thought to have, Castiel knew, but he couldn't help it. He was so terrified that if his father were here, he would be able to tell in an instant that Castiel's thoughts weren't as unblemished as they seemed. Castiel's mother may have missed it, but he knew that his father wouldn't.

His father would be home in a week at the earliest, a month at the latest, and Castiel vowed to have a tight grip on his thoughts and emotions before then. He would just avoid Dean Winchester at all costs. Easy, Castiel thought. He could do this.