Title: Missing Scenes from Alter Ego
Author: CarolQ Continuum
Summary: Missing Scenes of 3rd season episode Alter Ego. The events that led Captain Janeway and First Officer Chakotay to attend to Nelix's Luau party together.
Pairing: Kathryn Janeway and Chakotay
Genre: Romance
Rating: K+
Disclaimer: Star Trek Voyager Series are Copyright and Trademark Paramount Pictures. No infringements intended.
Authors Note: I´d really appreciate reviews.
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Missing Scenes from Alter Ego
Chapter 01 – Captain on the Bridge
Captain Kathryn Janeway was really intrigued about the Reversed Nebula. If she and Voyager´s crew member could understand the nature of the dampening field holding that plasma strand it could lead them to develop new techniques to prevent breaches for any plasma reaction. It was a technology that could be of much use if they could find new power sources.
She was excited and confident, as any scientist would be in the face of a discovery, but that was not the only matter wondering in her mind.
"I see all of you in Mr. Nelix´s luau. I´m sure everyone will be attending." She meant for Tuvok of course, his excuses for not socializing with fellow crew members could be justifiable on the Alfa Quadrant, but as far away from home as they were, would be in the best interest of Voyager´s Chief of Security to be sociable and perhaps make some friends.
"We're a long way from home." – She though.
Surely captain Janeway has been constantly thinking about that lately. Not only because she cared about the trip effects on Tuvok and the rest of the crews physical and mental health, but also because she felt some changes on her own self.
For the past two years they´ve lived on an unknown region of space, struggling to gather compatible resources, making alliances and most of all finding a way to get safely on the Alfa Quadrant, and so far the result of that trip, as she concluded a few months back, was that ultimately they were truly alone. That instatement solo makes her realize how dependent Voyager's crew became on her figure, on her parameters and on her standards. And day by day she was loosing her personal identity; she was no longer Kathryn Janeway, but Captain Janeway.
Of course that was a perfectly normal reaction for their situation, she concluded, as entering her office she seated on the sofa still in deep thought. But she dearly missed been Kathryn Janeway, not the driven scientist or the curious artist, but the woman who needed care and attention and eventually love.
She neglected those aspects of herself as soon as she entered Voyager´s Bridge two years ago, but the journey has been long and rough and she knew there will be much more challenges ahead of them. That´s why she cherished all the moments she could take her uniform and pins and just be Kathryn Janeway.
Nelix´s luau later that evening was one of those moments and for that reason she was feeling excites and even anxious, but also she was troubled.
It seams that everyone was pairing for the Luau. Her helm man, Tom asked the Chief engineering B´Elanna to join him, Nelix was of course going with Kess, and even the Doctor had a holographic companion for the party. But she hadn't been asked.
Of course she didn´t really expected to be asked as a party companion, she was The Captain after all, but again, Kathryn would have liked the closeness and attention that request would have provided her.
"I'm not been truthful to myself." – She thought, leaving the couch and going to the replicator for a cup of coffee. Deep down Kathryn knew that only one person could have made the requested seamed acceptable and even expected. And that person was her First Officer, Commander Chakotay.
If he had asked her, she maybe would not have been as anxious as she was now.
"Maybe we'll be attending with someone else, he´s not obligated to be socializing with his Captain on his off duty times." – That was a saddening though, and she regretted starting this inner debate the moment it crossed her mind.
As she made her way back to the replicator to order a coffee refill her office´s door chimed. "Come in." – she called.
"Captain, am I interrupting?" – She heard Commander Chakotay´s voice as he entered her office.
"Not at all Commander, please take a seat. Can I get you something to drink?" – She pointed to her sofa and waited for his answer on her replicator offer.
"A peach tea will be fine. Thank you" – He answered almost instantaneously.
She attended his request and 30 seconds later handled him his peach tea cup. Chakotay remained silent the entire time which was certainly unfamiliar for Kathryn; her first officer was always forthcoming on the ship and crew issues.
She seat in the opposite side of the sofa, facing him. There was still no sign that he was going to talk anytime soon. "That's definitely a personal matter." – She thought as Chakotay sipped his tea looking absorbedly to the office floor.
"What´s on you mind Commander?" – Kathryn stated, hopping that he would feel compelled to talk.
"Seems like Tuvok will be attending the Luau after all" – Chakotay answered, lifting his eyes from the floor and gazing directly to Kathryn.
"Well I didn´t meant it as an order, but I worry about Tuvok, Chakotay, I´d like him to be more sociable with the crew, to mingle. After all in our unique situation we can rely only on each other." – Captain Janeway said, regretting that Tuvok did not appreciate the freedom his rank permitted him to have when concerning personal relationships.
"But I think he has come a long way Kathryn, at least for a Vulcan. He became quite close to Kess and has been tolerating Nelix far more than I thought he would!" – Chakotay said trying to conceal a smile.
"I think you're awfully right Chakotay!" – She responded with a full smile.
Chakotay was pleased he had made Kathryn smile. He too has been worried for the past few months, not about Tuvok, but about his Captain.
She seemed to be spending less off duty ours socializing an entertaining herself. He knew she had a holonovel she used to attend to, but he checked the holodecks logs and she hasn´t reserved any holodeck time for a couple of months now.
She wasn´t spending any off duty time with the crew either. He was quite aware of the restrictions that Starfleet captainship could bring, but as she said, in their unique situation, restrained on the Delta Quadrant, far from Starfleet and other captains, she couldn´t possibly expect to fully respect this restrictions.
And that's why Chakotay was eager to attend to Nelix's Luau. He hoped to see a much more relaxed and talkative Kathryn. She needed that time off, and he was going to make sure she gets it.
"And how about you Kathryn, are you looking forward to the Luau?" – Chakotay asked, moving slightly on the sofa, so he was fully facing her.
"I'm indeed Chakotay. You know how much I enjoy seeing the crew in a relaxed mood and having fun. This Luau could not have come in a better time. We all certainly need a break. I sure do." – She answered honestly; quite aware that maybe Chakotay noticed the not so sudden changes in her lately behavior and come to question her.
"That's great Kathryn, because I already reserved the best spot on the house for us. Nelix´s guaranteed me that the view from the pier tables is the most beautiful sight on the entire resort, especially on sunset. So at what time can I drop by your quarters?" – Chakotay blurted it out seeing Kathryn's facial expression turning from confusion to realization and then to apprehension and nervousness.
Kathryn squirmed in her seat, looked to her nearly empty coffee cup and pleaded that her earlier confusion and currently nervousness expression couldn´t be easily read by her first officer. But seemed that was not the case judging by Chakotay´s grin. He had surprised her, caught her off guard and he knew it.
She expected, mostly hoped, he would ask her to be his companion on the Luau, but she come to the realization that the probability of that happening was awfully small, she immediately discarded that case scenario and now she was not prepared for it.
"You're a starship captain Kathryn Janeway, trained to deal with unknown situations, just respond!" – She adverted herself and responded trying to sounding as confidently as she could – "Well that´s very thoughtful of you Chakotay and I´m sure if Nelix said so then it must be indeed beautiful."
"That really didn´t sound as a starship captain, it was more like 1st year Starfleet student." – Katheryn thought fully aware of her discomfort and lack of ability to concentrate on the conversation.
"So is 1700 hours ok?" – Chakotay left the sofa and was now standing by the office coffee table; he was really relieved the conversation went quite well, for a moment he feared that Kathryn would laugh at him, or punching him in the face for been so presumptuous about her accepting his invitation to the Luau.
He wasn't so certain however if he had made himself clear about who he wanted on the Luau with him - his friend Kathryn and not his Captain. Chakotay made a mental note to make some additional arrangements, that would most certainly set right mood for their evening. Unless of course, she only accepted his invitation as a captainship obligation and if that was the case he have been reading her reaction all wrong and that would cause a major misunderstanding between them. Chakotay didn´t want that to happen and for a minute he doubted himself and despite of her comment she hasn´t really said she accepted his invitation.
"Unless of course you have other arrangements to attend to Kathryn, and if that´s the case I don´t want be an intruder." – Chakotay didn´t meant to be that harsh on his statement but now he truly doubted that Kathryn would accept his invitation in the manner we wanted her to accept, as his friend, and hopefully as his date.
"Is he having second thoughts?" – Kathryn wandered seeing Chakotay´s grin been replaced by a nervous smile. She knew it wasn´t Chakotay's style to invite her to a social event on a captainship basis. In those cases Chakotay would simple met her there and converse about amenities.
But this situation was certainly different. He has made previously arrangements and invited her directly; he was even doubtful and annoyed by her lack of response. "It is a personal invitation." – She concluded once more and decided to be honest with him.
"I do not have other arrangements Chakotay. I was just taken aback by your invitation. And yes, 1700 will be fine." – Kathryn responded, leaving the sofa and positioning herself right in front of Chakotay, whose grin was back now.
For a moment, they stared in each others eyes searching for any indication of regret or doubt. And they were both pleased to see that there were none. Without been able to restrain himself any longer, Chakotay took advantage of Kathryn´s closeness and inclining towards her, he placed a lightly kiss on her cheek and left as quickly as he could, missing the surprised look on Kathryn Janeway´s face.
"We're pushing the boundaries." – She thought not unpleased, but only admitting a fact that she has denied for some time.
