Chapter One- Caged Fury
Chicago, July 1980
Ellen Hartley had thought she could avoid marriage forever, and she was nervous as she realized that road had finally come to an end. It was her own fault…no, it was Howard's fault and she would blame it on him. On the other hand she supposed she should count herself lucky. Why shouldn't she happily marry a man who'd waited almost five years for her?...Because it wasn't for her, that was why. And it was a good reason. She'd been searching her soul all the way from Cleveland and she had little idea why she was still on a trajectory toward her boyfriend's apartment in Chicago.
She took a deep breath as the elevator came to the fifth floor and stopped. This had to be done and that's just the way it was. The very thought made her nauseous all over again.
"Oh, hi Ellen!" Ellen was startled to see her sister-in-law when the elevator door opened. She held baby Molly in her arms. The sight of a baby made Ellen want to throw up or cry. "Look Molly, it's Auntie Ellen!"
"Hey Molly…hi Emily." She said uneasily, hoping that Emily wouldn't notice how uneasy she was. She was prepared to talk to Howard and Howard alone at this point.
"You here to see us or Howard, I'm just going out to get Meghan and Bridget from preschool."
"No, no I'm, here to see Howard…do you know if he's home?"
"Yeah, he should be there, he was at our place just a few minutes ago. Oh look at the time I can't be late for the girls! I'll see you later Ellen."
"Bye Emily."
Ellen's nerves began to take over once the elevator doors shut. Kids hadn't changed Emily really, just her schedule, and not really even her career. But Emily already made a living out of being around kids. Being a Vice Principal and having kids wasn't the same as being a reporter and having them. Not at all. Ellen forced herself to turn around and trudge down the hall to finally accept Howard's marriage proposal.
...
"Ellen!" Howard was pleasantly surprised to see his on and off girlfriend, and long-term fiancé when he opened his door.
"Hi Howard." She smiled nervously. He kissed her softly she couldn't help but smile, she loved his kisses. She loved their fling and dreaded the notion of their commitment.
"Oh Ellen, it's good to see you, what brings you to town I didn't know you were here!" He said as he went to get them something to drink.
"I came to see you." She explained as she sat on the couch.
"Y-you did." He smiled. He was touched.
She sighed inside, relieved that he was happy about this. She was, after all, about to change the man's life. It was at least nice to know that he wanted to see her.
"Yeah, um…it's kind of about some things." She said, trying her best not to throw up.
"Oh." He asked, sitting down beside her.
"Um…first I came here to tell you that it's time."
"What's time?"
"I accept. Howard…will you still marry me."
"Marry! Of course I'll still marry you! Are you meaning to tell me we're finally going to get married!" He asked, allowing him to hug her.
She'd never seen him this happy about anything ever. She knew in that instant she'd made the right decision, at least for him…and at least he loved her. She wished that overly independent part of her would allow her to just be happy with love…but it wouldn't.
"Yeah Howard. I'm ready."
"Ellen. I love you." He said, leaning in to kiss her.
"I love you too. But before you say yes, there's something you should know." "What?"
"Remember, Howard. Uh…last month when you came to see me in Cleveland?"
"Well yeah. We had a great time, didn't we?"
Howard had had a wonderful time, it was fun, romantic, everything you'd want in a weekend with a person you really liked to be with…and plus they'd been in Cleveland. Bob hadn't been there to initiate a curfew of any type like he usually was able to when they were in Chicago.
"Yeah." She said nervously. She couldn't believe he wasn't picking up on the fact that she had something sensitive to say, even though he was Howard.
"Well…what is it?"
"Howard. I'm pregnant."
"What! You mean we're having a baby, you and me together!"
"Yeah."
"This is great! I couldn't be happier I'm going to be a father!"
"Howard, you already are a father." She reminded.
"I know but…I like little kids Ellen. They're really neat." Ellen knew this; he never hesitated to spend time with "their" nieces…who were really her nieces. "And besides…this is different it's a baby with you." He said. She threw her arms around him in an instant and began to cry.
"Hey." He laughed, beginning to rub her back. He kissed her cheek in an attempt to comfort her. "Don't cry. It's okay. We're doing this together it's gonna be great."
"I'm just so glad to know it…Howard." Part of her had been afraid he'd reject her after she told him.
"Yeah."
"I'm really scared."
"What are you afraid of you don't have to be afraid." He laughed.
"Howard….the doctor thinks its going to be twins."
"Twins! Ellen that's wonderful twins!"
"Y-you think?"
"Yeah…why wouldn't it be?"
…
Ellen could tell you exactly why it wouldn't be wonderful. She didn't want to settle down: ever. She loved Howard and she vaguely wanted a baby….but two of them? At once? The fact that she was expecting twins met that she had to be with Howard, that she had to give up her career. She couldn't have twins by herself. She was starting to feel so, so…trapped.
Meanwhile Emily was alright with being encouraging but kept thinking silently about her own situation, one which she hadn't even quietly informed Bob about yet, which was too bad because she was just bursting to. She'd been promoted that day: to principal! It had been something she had really wanted and worked hard for over the past few years. But being the mother of three young girls, she wasn't sure if she should accept it. If maybe her other commitments were too much. With this mulling through her mind, it was a little difficult to listen to Ellen's repeated concerns about her own career.
"Emily, I'm…I'm scared." She admitted they were all about to have dinner. She and Emily were in the kitchen and Bob and Howard were in the living room.
Ellen had observed that the whole evening was awkward and that her situation had driven a wedge between Bob and Emily, something she certainly wasn't comfortable with. Bob had been furious when he found out. She was pregnant and not married after all and she was his baby sister. Ellen felt like she had let him down, a feeling that rang through her soul every time he looked at her from across the room and just stared. Emily, on the other hand was thrilled by the news and wouldn't stop talking about how great babies were. Ellen observed that Emily was really good at being a Mom. And she knew she'd be lousy.
"There's no reason to be scared." Emily laughed as she attended to the hors d'oeuvres she was making.
"Emily." She said, making sure that Howard couldn't hear. "Part of me, you know, would rather just do this on my own." Actually part of her wanted to say, 'Here Howard, here are your kids,' and walk away from the picture forever. Even she knew that was terrible.
"I don't know how people do it on their own. I couldn't do it without Bob." Emily said, louder than Ellen wanted her to as they walked back into the living room to sit with their significant others who were not speaking to each other.
"How people do what?" Howard asked, glad to have Emily come back into the room so someone would speak to him.
"Raise kids on their own."
"Oh." Howard guessed what Ellen had said and was hurt by this.
He had a feeling that Ellen didn't want to do this with him and that she'd leave like Lois had. It made him feel worthless. He knew he was a sweet man, a good man…he had money…he thought he was cute and best yet he was a co-pilot now…he didn't understand what was wrong with him.
"Can we uh…change the subject?" Ellen asked nervously.
"To what?" Bob asked in a sharply sarcastic tone that made Ellen jump inside and caused her to instinctively scoot closer to Howard.
She wished Bob weren't being such a jerk, especially to Howard. And it wasn't like he should expect her to be perfectly chaste, she was thirty-five, the idea was laughable. And as for Howard, he was Howard, come on! He should've expected this or something like it would happen eventually, why else had Bob attempted to chaperone them so carefully? And plus they were engaged and had been for a couple of years. Maybe it was good this had happened….
"Mommy." Ellen stopped thinking when she heard a very tiny voice call.
"Awe what Meghan, what, what?" Emily asked, extending her arms to her sleepy-eyed three-year-old daughter.
"I'm tired but I'm hungry and I can't fall back asleep." She yawned.
"Meghan, what about some cheese and a cracker and you fall back asleep?" Bob offered as he pulled her onto his lap. Bob observed that his own daughter's waking up and crawling onto his lap was a nice distraction from his anger.
"Does that sound good Meghan?" Emily asked. She nodded, too tired to say much else.
Meghan had her "midnight" snack and sat on her Dad's lap wondering why no one was saying much of anything to one another. Her mother was serving coffee and making an attempt at small chitchat that wasn't leading much of anywhere. Her Aunt Ellen said almost nothing and the little girl found that confusing.
"Okay Meghan, I think it's time to go back to bed." Bob began, standing up and preparing to go back into the den, which had become a bedroom for Meghan several years before. She nodded and she yawned again.
"Good night angel." Emily kissed her cheek.
"Night Meghan." Howard called as Bob carried her off. Emily sat back down and gazed at her friend and sister-in-law. She smiled. "You know what you remind me of right now?"
"No what?" Howard asked.
"Me and Bob. When we had Meghan."
"We do?" Howard raised an eyebrow.
Everyone had been thrilled when Emily had Meghan. There was no one there who didn't want the child, certainly not Bob or Emily. And certainly no one disapproved of Emily's condition and how she got that way…unless you counted Junior Harrison…sort of. How were they like Bob and Emily?
"Bob. Don't they remind you of us!" Emily chimed as he walked back in the room.
"How?" He asked, also seemingly dumbfounded by this question.
"Well we got pregnant by total surprise too." She reminded.
"Emily that was not the same thing!" He exclaimed.
Ellen, who couldn't take the cold shoulder from her older brother anymore, burst out crying and left the apartment.
"Ellen!" Howard exclaimed and got up to rush after her.
"No, no I'll…I'll go." Bob said, getting up and going after his sister.
He finally caught up with her at the elevator, just as she was about to take the stairs to get out of there.
"Ellen, Ellen stop crying, I'm sorry!" He said.
"Bob I don't want to hear it." She sniffled.
"Look, you're-you're my baby sister and I- I wanted so much to protect you."
"I know that Bob. You're disappointed in me. And you keep pointing it out."
"Maybe a little." He confessed, "but I love you much more." He said, taking her in his arms and hugging her, not really giving her a choice as to whether or not she wanted to be hugged.
"I love you too."
"You don't need to cry. You know, I-I can remember very clearly when you were a new baby, and you know, watching you grow up, walking you to school: we were older and you were a little girl...it was different. I felt so protective of you from the first time I ever saw you…so it's weird for me that you're, you're having a baby, and that apparently it's not my job to try so hard to protect you anymore." He said.
"Thanks Bob." She hugged him and he kissed her cheek.
"Come back to the apartment. I think that Emily is going to tell a very good story."
Bob didn't say it, but he was afraid that his sister being forced to settle down would lead to a restlessness that would ultimately cause to her to become one of those women that abandoned their husband and children within a few years time. He didn't want that to happen to her, and he knew poor Howard couldn't take that kind of a blow…he and Emily would be left to pick up the pieces…and probably raise the baby twins too and he certainly didn't want that.
….
Chicago, July 4th, 1976
Bob was angry with Emily. He sat on a pile of their stuff…he wasn't even sure what stuff…and stared at her has she blithe fully flipped through their wedding album, periodically calling on him to look at something he didn't care much about. He'd wanted to go down to their storage locker, get what Howard needed for his party and then head back up stairs quickly. But now she'd pulled the doorknob off the door and locked them in. They'd be there for who knows long…maybe they'd even die there, and to make matters worse he was starving!
Somehow their tiff dissolved into a discussion about food, why they didn't have any kids and how they may very well die there before anyone found them. They kept scaring each other half to death with comments about how they'd starve to death, or run out of air. After a while Bob and Emily found themselves on the floor in their sleeping bag, devoid of all other help save perhaps a little rest.
"We haven't slept in this sleeping bag since our honeymoon camping trip!" She recalled. "You know….this is kind of romantic." She said, flirtatiously inching closer to him and wrapping her arms around his chest.
"Emily, we can't mess around in a storage locker!" He found the idea inappropriate at best.
"Why not?" She seemed insistent on them fooling around. "This may be our last hurrah!"
"Well because I..it…they…" On one hand, he was afraid of being caught, on the other, he was afraid no one would ever come and why waste time if no one was ever coming?
"Oh I see Bob, the storage locker police." She rolled her eyes.
"Well I…"
Emily didn't say another word and instead began to unbutton her top very slowly. She was only kidding, but apparently he didn't know that. She hadn't noticed, but he could never resist when she did that.
"Okay." He choked. "Why the hell not?! Might as well go out with a smile on our face."
He took her in his arms and rolled over on top of her, pinning her under him and taking her completely by surprise. She loved it when Bob took her by surprise. He kissed her deeply and it caught her off guard, completely disarming her.
Emily got lost in his first kiss and wrapped her arms tightly around his neck, pulling him in closer to her. It was moments like these that made her remember how much she loved him and why. And while she wanted to be found, she sure hoped no one would interrupt this. Bob, who at first thought her desire was ridiculous, was soon enthralled in her kisses. It kept running through Emily's head that they were partially in public, which was so sexy, so daring…so…so incredibly hot…and so unlike Bob. He must've been sure they were going to die to kiss her like this where someone else might stumble onto them.
"Well this is an interesting predicament Mrs. Hartley." He teased. She giggled, nuzzling him softly. "It's not often we find ourselves all alone and locked in a storage locker, is it?" He asked.
"Not nearly often enough." She said as he began to kiss her again, breaking her words. Emily sighed, though her lips were locked with his.
Bob and Emily, in their recollection of this night, neglected to recount the more intimate parts of it to Howard and Ellen, they considered subtlety to be best here. It was what made old movies so much more romantic than newer ones after all. And besides, everyone knew what was required to conceive a baby, and elaborating on it wasn't necessary it was just too personal. But Bob and Emily smiled shyly to each other as they recalled the rest of the evening.
"I love you Emily." He whispered.
He kissed her forehead softly and simply as she let out a breath. She cuddled up to him, wrapping her arms around him and laying her head on his chest. She could feel and hear his heart beating in his chest, and found that so romantic. If she was going to die she was happy that death was going to, at the very least, be romantic.
"I love you too! And see aren't you glad you didn't worry about the storage locker police?"
"Yeah Emily, I am." He said, kissing her again. "I really am…and this was more fun than any old Fourth of July party….assuming we live through it."
"I agree, it sure was."
"What a great way to have spent the bicentennial."
"Yeah…it sure was."
Emily was sad for a moment. Who would they tell that story to? They'd just been talking about kids. The ones they didn't have. There was no little boy who could let them out of the storage locker…no little girl to bounce on their knee and tell stories too…She simply hugged Bob again, turning her head to kiss him squarely on his lips.
"Remember our honeymoon camping trip in this very sleeping bag." He asked. She giggled, the memory dragging her out of what she'd been thinking about.
"Yes." She laughed.
They'd spent their wedding night at a nice hotel in Chicago and then gone on a weeklong camping trip the next morning. He'd always wondered why she'd picked camping, now knowing that it was because she was too afraid to fly somewhere, like Hawaii, where he'd wanted to go. It was funny how these two sleeping bags, zipped together, met so much to Emily.
They'd spent their first nights together in that bag, gotten to know each other, cuddled in the dark, laughed a lot, held each other, talked all night, been scared to death by a couple of bears who'd been trying to get in their tent…it was a memorable first few days as husband and wife for sure and until now Emily hadn't thought about them in a long, long time.
"We should get dressed." He interjected. "After all, we don't want to be in this state if someone finds us."
"Yeah, if." Emily rolled her eyes.
"Emily, I promise someone will find us." She wondered why he was enthusiastic now.
"Bob, Emily, what are you doing down here!?" Howard exclaimed…this was kind of an uncomfortable question, that was for sure.
"That's what was happening there!" Howard burst, back in the present day.
"Y-yeah Howard." Bob said, Emily blushed. He'd found them half clothed in their sleeping bag and hadn't realized what had been happening…yeah that was Howard.
Ellen smiled knowingly at Emily, realizing that she'd only told the embarrassing story to make her feel a little less embarrassed. Bob looked over at Howard carefully and noticed that they were both laughing. It was kind of funny. Bob recalled that Howard was too good of a friend to alienate. He'd been there for he and Emily every day since they'd met and how many years had that been now? Plus he had no doubt that he'd be a good Dad…probably a much better father than his sister would be a mother that was for sure.
Plus he'd saved them. On the other hand, he'd been only minutes away, from walking in on their daughter's conception which would've made him really, really angry…but more importantly, he'd saved their lives from certain death in the storage locker just by showing up…and that was something to be forever grateful for.
"Howard. I'm sorry. You're a good man." Bob told him.
"Thanks Bob." Howard was relieved to hear that his best friend had forgiven him. Ellen smiled too and took his hand.
"Bob, I was just about to get to the next part of the story!" Emily reminded.
"What next part?"
"Well the part that they're at of course. Remember when I told you?"
"Yes." He smiled. He thought this was probably his favorite part of the story.
