I own nothing, sadly enough. All rights belong to Mirage Studios and Nickelodeon.
This is based on the TMNT 2007 film with a lot of assistance from the 2003 cartoon series.
Nightwatchers
Raphael paced through the lair and fumed. Leo, right now he hated that guy. Him with his smug leader face. The eldest turtle had changed since he returned from South America. Two years of playing the hero had made him so smug. As Leo told it he had done exactly what he had always railed Raph about not doing: Rushing into battle, being seen, using too much force against the bad guys. Raph had done all that as the Nightwatcher, and for what? Constant belittling from Donny, anger from Sensei, loss of respect from Mikey, and when he returned, Leo railed him for 'endangering the family' for 'going against Splinter's orders'. It seriously pissed him off. And today, of all days, an early June storm raged topside that had everyone locked inside and locked underground with his bros and father all silently ignoring him.
Oh he was angry, worse than angry he was livid. Here he was biting at the bit to get topside to blow some steam, where he wouldn't have to listen to Leo lecture him for how long he spent at the punching bag, for not doing more katas, for causing strife within the family. He seethed. No matter what he was never good enough. He worked so hard to make the Nightwatcher outfit and when Donny finally saw it, he never said a thing. There was no praise for ingenuity, no ideas on how to make it better. Nothing.
"You were running around in this? You're either braver or more foolish than I thought."
Don had looked disdainfully at the metal plated leather, overlooking how much effort had actually gone into it. Not caring for the many deep score marks from bullets and knives, or the half melted patches from flames and explosives. There was only disdain, and it hurt. Raph had at least expected a comment on his ingenuity at least, but apparently he was expecting too much.
Mikey still worshipped the Nightwatcher, finding an artist's rendering and tacking it on his wall like a poster. Mikey had all of his superhero posters signed. Silver Sentry, Zippy Lad, Nano, Nobody, they had all signed their posters for him. Each had left a witty reply acknowledging Mikey as a fellow hero. Yet Mikey had never come to him. He had only discovered it a few days ago and Mikey told him he had had it for months. Leo had been back for only a week and a half and he'd had it for months?
Sensei still admonished him for his anger and aggression, even now when he was working so hard to control the ever present rage. Splinter pushed him harder in meditation and chi exercises, earning himself Leo's anger at being excluded from such exercises. It all came back to Leo. Leo who had been gone for two years, Leo who had come back and tried to shut him down without even attempting to see what good he had been trying to do.
'Why can't anyone see that I am the good guy here?' How many times had he asked himself that as the Nightwatcher? How many times had the citizens he had tried to help fled from him disregarding the fact that he had just saved their asses from crooks and gangs. Raph stilled mid step and glanced at the empty dojo. Splinter and Leo were in Sensei's room talking. Don was in his nook working on his IT job he had kept for making enough money to cover the necessary expenditures to keep the lair running. Mikey was in his room, creating the newest rendition of the Turtle Titan. Raph sighed; his entire family was here, so why did he feel so alone?
Don still couldn't look at him. Don, the incredible stretching turtle, he and Leo had been the same height two years ago, now Don was nearly half a head taller – and Leo was so proud. Raph sighed and finally abandoned the battered punching bag. He entered the dojo and began the most difficult set of katas he knew. Just to vent some extra steam he strapped weights on his arms and legs, working through the movements in slow motion, relishing the way they made his muscles scream as he fought against his own body and gravity. This pain was real it was stable, like the concrete beneath his feet. It reminded him of what really mattered, and right now, that was remembering to breathe and to focus. He lost himself in the slow dance of movement, in his mind's eye every day of the two years Leo was gone replayed themselves, reminding him of everything he had messed up. As the rage burned to fuel his straining limbs, the anger faded and a new emotion welled.
Remorse and regret were two emotions he was very used to and very good at ignoring. They were everything he refused to be, always looking forward he charged head on into his life. Yet here where only the here and now existed and nothing beyond his movement and form, he was forced to feel all two years of regret he had buried, all two years of remorse he had pretended didn't exist. The cold weight of his buried issues coming to the surface filled his chest with an icy chill. He buried what he refused to face, forced himself to forget what he could not accept. Now, though he could hide no more. With the kata only halfway complete he could already feel his anger draining away, leaving only the regret to fill the void where his family used to be.
As the welling of emotion filled his chest and gut, straining against his plastron like a physical force, he wound to the end of his katas, and as reality took over from the haze of focus he felt the dampness trickling along his face. Tears, silently streaming down his beak rolled and fell to the dojo floor. He took a deep breath and paused, inadvertently looking into the full length mirror used for studying their techniques, seeing a turtle he had never seen before.
The reflection showed a calm, sorrowful red masked turtle, tears streaming down his normally angry face making tracks through the sweat. Body quivering with the recent exercise he looked on the verge of an emotional breakdown yet continued to stand strong. His stance was proud regardless of the weight of his burdens which though great still was not enough to bring him to his knees. The eyes were remorseful, showing weakness that hid in his heart, a weakness Raph really didn't want to think about.
Behind him the door slid open slightly softly groaning upon its hinges. The noise from the mostly closed doors startled him, spinning and standing in ready pose he nearly gaped when Mikey finally opened the doors, eyes wide as if he had just seen Santa Clause.
"Wow, you really were him, you were really the Nightwatcher." Mikey grinned nervously, eyes wide with silent awe of his elder brother.
"What are ya talkin' bout Mikey? You already knew I was." Raph sighed, here was his little brother staring at him like he had three heads, while his tears were still trailing down his face for all to see and he was spouting off about the Nightwatcher of all things.
"Dude, you never showed it. I mean – I, well, ever since you came clean about it I've been looking for signs in you, but they were never there. Raph stands with defiance, aloof and proud but surly. You know? The Nightwatcher, though he's super cool! He stands as if he knows where he stands in the world. He's strong, and proud, but more wise he's seen the dark side and survived. Today, bro you're the Nightwatcher again. So, um – can you sign my poster?" Mikey asked with his biggest smile.
"Dufus." Raph growled and tossed the weights off and scrubbed a dry towel across his face, pretending the tears had never happened. "Got a marker or somethin'?" Mikey whooped and raced up the stairs to his room all smiles and hyperness. Raph suppressed a grin, the moves had helped, but he still couldn't face bein' all smiles. It wasn't in his nature and it rubbed against the raw edges of his emotions buried too long to be able to feel properly.
Raph was still standing in the dojo, contemplating the many thoughts spiraling through his head when Mikey reappeared moments later. Raph set the poster upon a workbench and stared at it. He had never really looked at it before, but he was depicted as being very buff, strong with a violent air about him, the full body armored suit gleamed in the yellow of street lights. His chain weapon with the weighted ends hung from loosely clenched fists, trailing to lie almost harmlessly at his feet. While his shoulders held strong, they slanted as if he bore a burden too great to bear alone.
The poster's purplish black background seemed to mock him. What would he write, what could he? The Nightwatcher had been a farce, a lost soul's attempt to find his place in the world when his home had been torn apart and turned upside down. Finally he uncapped the marker and scrawled his signature across the bottom
To the Turtle Titan
- Nightwatcher
Raph looked at the forlorn scrawl wishing something smart or witty would come to mind, that just once he could be good with words, but then resigned himself and caped the pen handing both carelessly back to Mikey.
"Wow" Mikey breathed. "I've got the only signed poster of the Nightwatcher!" Mikey's exhilaration was nearly infectious as he bolted to go brag, but somehow Raph only felt emptier.
Mikey had been impressed with the poster, not the brother. The brother who had gone out to bash skulls night after night, trying to keep the streets safe, trying to protect his family from the enemies Leo had left behind. Only he just kept endangering them. He could have been tailed; he could have made a mistake. Raph sighed and left the dojo, unable to withstand his own thoughts anymore, or the temptation to bash the stuffing out of his punching bag, regardless of what Leo might do.
He walked stiffly from the dojo, striding to cross the lair to his room his thoughts still spiraling and the once faded anger resurfaced now that he could see that Raph and Nightwatcher were two very different beings in Mikey's worshipping eyes. Raph could never compare, forever doomed to be in the shadow of his own self deception.
"Um, Raph?" Raph halted mid step and looked to the dark silhouette in Don's workspace. "I was wondering, would you be willing to work with me on a project, please?" Raph felt like blowing his brother off. They had lived in tense silence for months, neither too comfy with the other and here he was asking him to help with a project. He wanted to laugh in Don's face, but something in his brother's hesitant voice stilled his sarcasm, he merely nodded, noting the sudden relief as Don relaxed his shoulders as if he had been expecting the sarcasm and the harsh words Raph barely held at bay.
"Where to?" Raph asked, voice harsher that he anticipated from his previous workout, causing Don to flinch.
"Uh, we need to get to the workroom." Donny slid hesitantly to walk beside his brother, still not quite comfortable being the closest in height to their living power house. The two walked in stony silence to the new workroom, a spare alcove where Don kept his larger projects. The workroom was between the hangar where they kept the copter and the garage, fitting perfectly within the junction of the tunnels that accessed their vehicle storage areas.
"Sorry." Raph groused into the silence, startling Don motionless at the sudden and unexpected apology.
"For what?" Don asked totally bemused at where his brother's mind was.
"Fer makin yer life miserable while Leo was away. I know ya did yer best, ya did more than Mikey or I coulda done. You had yer job, trainin', Mikey's party service and my tempa ta deal with and I know I wasn't much help." Raph never looked back to his brother who had stilled one step behind him, instead taking Don's silence as a cue to keep going on and strode to the workroom, leaving Don to gather his thoughts before he rushed to catch up with Raph.
Don stared after his brother bemused and sighed, the one he really wanted an apology from wasn't talking and it wasn't like Raph had been anything other than his usual self. Raph protected others so when they had been forbidden to fight for the year that Leo was gone he had done the only logical thing for him; he had found a way to protect the people of New York.
"Raph, wait; I'm sorry too." Don hurried to his brother's side, almost stung when Raph neither slowed nor stopped while he was talking.
"What do ya need to apologize fer Don? You were chosen to lead in Leo's absence and ya did what ya could. I acted alone an widout ordas so it was my fault we was so strained, not yers." Raph replied calmly, still trying to still the rising anger in his chest.
"For lying to you." That got Raph's attention, the raised brow ridge was question enough to prompt Don to continue, this time somewhat appeased that Raph had finally stilled. "I was mad when you finally told us that you had been the Nightwatcher. At first because I could only think of what Leo would say and ended up sounding just like him. Then it was because you had left us in the dark. I can understand you not wanting Sensei finding out, but not even us? What if you had been hurt up there, we would have never known. So when you showed your suit to me all I saw were the bullet holes. I was terrified. You had hidden the Nightwatcher from us for almost two years, how many wounds had you hidden as well. I was so angry I never even thought – I." Don clenched his long fingers into fists, staring at the ground and sighed, trying desperately hold back the still present terrified fury at Raph.
"Thank you, for doing what no one else had the courage to do. You faced the entirety of the New York underworld alone while Mikey and I were pretending to be normal, and as close to human as we could. That took guts." With a grateful smile Don turned, hiding a smirk at Raph's stunned face and led the rest of the way to the workroom in silence finally leading Raph to a covered area.
"The Nightwatcher ensemble you made was amazingly well built. I counted thirty bullet marks. I don't know how many there really were from all the hammering the metal took from you pounding them out constantly. When you showed it to me I kinda freaked and I don't think I managed to say what I wanted to. You were crazy and reckless to go out in something that relied on layers of welded steel to keep you safe from bullets. But you were extremely brave to go out there anyways." Don smiled at Raph, a glimmer of admiration filling his eyes as he lifted the cloth covering his project as Raph stared in stunned silence. There before him was a more streamlined version of the Nightwatcher suit, four of them to be exact each with its own battery pack fueling communications, lights and eye cameras. The suits were all black only with narrow stripes of their colors designating which suit belonged to which turtle, despite the greater difference in height between the brothers.
Raph swallowed with difficulty and stared at the suit with the bold red stripes along the pecks and shoulders, noting its larger size and how the dark red made it more imposing amongst its duplicates. The narrow stripes drew the eyes away from the turtle shape, highlighting the similarities in their physique to a human's. "Ya made us Nightwatcher suits?" He finally asked dumbfounded that anything he might have come up with could have been used by his genius brother.
"Well, sort of. I made them more streamlined, waterproof, rust proof and now they are made up of lighter weight Kevlar. I had Mikey tag along on a dumpster dive outside of police headquarters. They throw out the damaged vests, but the Kevlar was still salvageable so now we have better light weight protection against heavy fire." Don said humbly, attempting to hide from the lime light as usual. Raph swallowed a grin. Right now he was reminded of why he loved his brainy brother, he could take any number of bad ideas and make them work, and still act like they were someone else's achievements. Though he could still see the slight glow of pride Don wore like a medal of honor.
"I need to see how they fit, care to try yours on?" Raph flashed Don a lopsided grimace. Don grinned hugely, it was easy for strangers to take Raph's half grimace as a threat, but it was really a small lopsided smile that was seen rarely if at all these days. As his big brother turned to the suit Don silently wondered when Raph had lost his wide shit-eating grin, he hadn't seen it in a few years now.
Leo sat stiffly, listening and desperately wishing he could tune out the one hour, forty-six minute and thirteen second long lecture from his sensei. Truly, he knew he had messed up in staying in South America for so long however Sensei seemed to find fault in everything he'd done since he had come back and Winters had been defeated.
"… You seek to lead your brothers without actively trying to be with your brothers. In the past being the leader and the brother blended seamlessly. Now you allow the two roles to strain against one another like two people attempting to fill one space.
"My son, this cannot continue you must find a way to reunite the brother and the leader into one person." Splinter looked upon Leonardo with concerned loving eyes and sighed. "It is time you learned to be with your brothers once more, dismissed." Leo bowed and left, feeling dejected. Raph was supposed to get lectured at, not him! He practiced, he trained, he listened to his brothers. What did Raph do?
"Wahoo! Cowabunga!" Mikey's ecstatic cries filled the lair from the work room, drawing Leo to investigate. There were his brothers, all of them. Mikey was on his skateboard working the half pipe while Raph was sparring with Don, all three in streamlined, tight fitting Nightwatcher suits. Leo felt his blood boil, what had Raph gotten their brothers into this time?
He strode to the workroom, ready to tear into Raph when Don paused the sparing match and pulled his helmet off, turning to a nearby computer. "Raph, can you strike any harder? These suits are barely showing any impact at all and I need to be sure that they can handle battle scenario stresses." Don asked as he typed madly at the keyboard drawing up schematics of his bio-readouts which showed the few well landed blows in glowing yellow.
"Ya sure Donny? I been holdin' back like usual, what with bein' the Nightwatcher fer so long I kinda built up some extra strength." Raph hedged warily, his strikes were hard enough now that Don usually showed some response, which was normally being flung into a wall.
"Yes Raph, I'm positive. I need you to attack me full force." Don confirmed without looking up. Raph strode over to Don and tore his helmet off stiffly.
"Ok, but if you go flyin' the bouts off. I ain't takin' down my own brotha protective body suits or no." Raph ground out causing Don to smile,
"Just do it already." Raph hesitated before finally slipping his helmet back on and stepping away from the fancy computers. Once Don had replaced his own helmet Raph attacked, giving each blow more power, still refusing to pull out all the stops.
Leo watched as Don's bio-schematic displayed brilliant blossoms of light yellows and oranges at first then red and finally magenta, yet still Don stood up against the assault still fighting. Leo looked on in surprise, this wasn't Raph's idea? This was Don's? His mind whirled and suddenly what Sensei had been trying to say became clear.
'Everything that has gone wrong since I came back I've blamed on Raph. He should have supported Don better, he should have toed the line more while I was away, he should have listened to me once I returned. Yet how many times has he bailed me out? He's always been there, after our fight he's been trying to be a better brother, I'm the selfish one here. I'm still so used to being able to call my own shots and work alone that I haven't given any of them enough credit.' Leo looked on the fight between his brothers and paused, blinking rapidly at what he saw. The bio readout was completely crimson from the impact of Raph's fists. Each blow at near lethal strength, yet Raph was still holding back, the unusual stiffness in his shoulders testimony to how hard he was keeping himself in check, only putting forth as much as he felt Don could take.
Leo slipped around the battle to get a better vantage point when he saw a fourth suit, identical to the others except for its shoulder stripes, they were his blue. Leo swallowed thickly and tugged the suit on. He found the battery switch inside the shoulder just above the curve of his shell. Fliping on the power he advanced, ready to finally remember how to be a brother once again.
"Hey Don, need a breather?" Leo asked approaching the pair. Raph flinched at his call, any comfort the tallest had gained from the practice bout vanishing in an instant. Leo forced himself to stay still, calm and not to look away.
"Well, actually if I could analyze the data as it is collected I should be able to spot weaknesses within the armor immediately and have to rely less on computer analysis." Don replied his smile audible in his voice.
"Ok," Leo took a ready stance facing Raph. When Don was ready he signaled them to begin and Leo flew at Raph determined to see just what his brother was hiding. While they had been fighting the stone warriors he had been too busy to notice, but ever since then Leo had noticed a stiffness in Raph shoulders signaling that he was holding back, refusing to let loose his full strength, even against Don. That had Leo curious, just how powerful was Raph anyways?
The pair met with a clash of steel on steel, each deflecting and attacking with lightning speed. Mikey quit the half pipe instead watching his brothers' clash, finally noticing what Leo had seen earlier. "Dude, Raph's been holding back on us." Mikey gawked at the sparring match.
"I know, that's why I let Leo take over. If he can get Raph riled up enough we can see how strong he is and test how much abuse these suits can handle." Don stared in rapt fascination at the suit readouts. Raph was hitting with enough force that a blow straight to the sternum would result in instant heart failure, and still he held back. Yet the suits were absorbing the impact, dispersing it along Leo's plastron and shell to keep the blow within non-lethal limits. Leo received about a tenth of the impact directly. Don and Mikey watched in stunned silence as both Leo and Raph attacked each other with ever increasing force, the greater difference in their heights forgotten. Leo held nothing back, giving the bout his all while the tenseness in Raph's shoulders slowly lessened though it was still there as he attempted to land a full blow on his much shorter, and more fluid moving brother. The two pushed each other harder and as the bout drug on they found themselves for the first time in their lives truly able to pit themselves against each other with no fear of hurting the other.
With flying kicks, blocks, jabs and body slams the brothers fought each other, fighting till sweat stung their eyes saturating their masks. The two never stopped and finally they pushed themselves beyond proving their capabilities, beyond proving where they stood with their skills, finally all quarrels slipped away, until only the thrill of the fight remained. In those moments where only the thrum of adrenaline through their bodies existed and the displaced sting of impact Leo and Raph locked eyes, their old quarrels addressed and set aside, finally seeing in each other the truth of their actions.
Leo smiled a true smile as had not been seen since his return, even Raph smiled a huge grin, neither seen but each other felt them, the slight change in posture transmitting their sudden joy as loudly as if they had announced it with a megaphone. Leo dodged, feinted and slipped in under Raph's punch slamming his fist under the stronger turtle's jaw, sending him flying only to find himself shooting backwards in the opposite direction from a violent kick to his plastron Raph had landed before being flung out of range. Raph fell to the far edge of the sparring mat while Leo was flung violently against the far wall, armored shell impacting the concrete wall forcefully enough to leave a small impact crater. Each heaved massive panting breaths, neither quite capable nor yet willing to get up.
"So, did you get enough data?" Mikey asked Don casually, ignoring his collapsed brothers.
"Yeah, and apparently Raph is nearly five times as strong as Leo, so about twice as powerful as Hun. As for the suits, as long as we don't start raking them with shuriken we should be fine. They'll hold up to just about any street fight against humans. We'll get some protection from Triceraton weapons and most of the larger alien species that we have encountered. We'll just have to be careful around shotguns and blades." Don replied absently as he entered his information into a fighting simulator to determine its exact strength.
"Donny, we fight wid blades, the Foot use blades and most of our enemies use 'em, don't that kinda defeat the purpose here?" Raph asked as he finally heaved himself to his feet and moved to get Leo out of the crater. While Don was calm, Raph could not help but suffer controlled panic that he had hurt his only big brother.
"Well, until I can rig a way to develop a type of wet lab and safety precautions, we're stuck with this Kevlar. The wet lab will give me the ability to recreate the Triceraton body armor after some experimentation and research. Their defense technology is greatly advanced from Earth's, however with so much of their technology left behind I should be able to rig something up soon." Don replied absently as he studied the scrolling numbers coming from the simulator somehow understanding their meaning while his brothers just looked at the wizzing screen in confusion.
"Don, can you save this and pick it up later?" Leo asked after finally regaining his breath while leaning against Raph's strong arm.
"Yes, why?" Don looked at Leo who had begun peeling himself out of his suit.
"It's getting late and I still owe Mikey a match of Smash Brothers." Leo replied with a smirk at the gawking faces that stared at him.
"Geeze, guess I hit 'im harder than I thought." Raph joked and the four slipped from their suits, and away to the living room beginning a four way battle that would decide who ordered the pizza.
Splinter strode from his room to investigate the yelling coming from the living room. He smiled wryly at his sons' antics. The four were piled up on and around the couch seemingly on top of each other laughing, yelling and hollering at each other and their characters upon the screen as they mashed buttons, playing a game together.
"Kids," Splinter just shook his head, remembering a time when all four could sit on the couch with room to spare between them. Now, Leo, Don and Raph squeezed together on the couch with Mikey on the back all roaring as they play-battled. Listening to his sons he made some tea in the kitchen knowing that all too soon their troubles would return and then these precious moments of calm between his sons would vanish, but for now life was good. Splinter thought about returning to his room to continue his meditations, but thought better of it, deciding to join his sons and take part of this rare moment of peace before the TV. Taking his favorite chair and watching the battles between his sons. The evening progressed into night, the battles becoming increasingly shorter and more intense though no less fun, even drawing Splinter into rooting for a particular character never quite certain who was playing who, but enjoying the show none the less.
It was late when Raph finally ordered the pizza, the brothers pleasantly surprised by Splinter's request for a cinnamon dessert pizza. The four willingly obliged. "Rememba Sensei, ya gotta eat yer veggie pizza or else ya get no dessert." Raph joked earning a slight tap on his shoulder for the taunt from his father's walking stick. The old tap on the head now was something Splinter could only do when his largest son was seated. The evening was calm and joyful the small family retiring for the night still content and happy from the sudden respite from the tension that had become a constant in their home over the past two years.
