As Dante Alighieri states, people who commit Lust are destined to suffer in hell for eternity, never being able to touch each other, but only to be seen as souls & remembered by people in the actual world as an example of what shouldn't be done, as a Threat; But what happens when you're young & naïve, going through the phase of being "Enamored", and in a blink of an eye, those moments vanish away & seem so distant? Well, I certainly never saw that coming when I put up myself into falling in love, but if there's something God has thought me throughout my 25 Years in this world, is that true love overcomes everything, even death sometimes, and no human force can stop that no matter how strong or persistent it may come up to be; And that's when I saw him, standing at the end of my bed, staring at me with his Mocca Orbs I'm crazy for, with that smile only heaven can make, and with his arms wide open, as if waiting for me to throw myself at him, kiss him as I've never done before, and tell him how hard it's been, and how I wish he was next to me.
"Silly baby, if there's something I can be sure of, is that we'll speak through this life; maybe we're perfect but not meant to be, and that doesn't mean we'll stop talking, it'll only show us how strong the bonds between us can be. I love you, never forget that, you've been the best of me in a long time, and not even my death must cause tears staining in your eyes."
Day 1 – Dec.12.11
That was the first time I saw him, again. I couldn't stand the outside world once more; Debts where coming higher & higher every time, my heir money was running low, supposedly I was using it for emergencies, but maybe my whole life was an emergency, except my feelings towards him. Mr. Bart kept pushing & pushing me into paying in time, but night school, part-time job, & Social labor where making it difficult for even going to the bathroom or breathing. You know that feeling when all you want to do is go to your room, close the door & throw everything out? That feeling when you want to stop existing because you believe your presence in this world isn't more than disturbance for others? Welcome to my life. I went running through the hallway straight to my room, luckily the house was empty. I returned from my part-time job as a Waiter at Rainforest Café without any tips, no luck this month, it was really starting to blow my last nerve, tips are pretty much what pay my rent in this world, and people weren't giving me any. Grades weren't increasing very much either, the twist of my situation altered pretty much everything in my life, and without a single person caring for how I felt either inside or outside, life was complicated much. And that's when he appeared. I felt footsteps in my room, as I raised my gaze I saw his face, pale, but no detail changed since the last time I saw him. His expression wasn't the best I've seen, In fact I recognized immediately he was upset by my tears, he always hated watching me cry, he complained I was a crying baby because I'm really fragile, but never tried to change me, it's one of the things I loved about him.
"I would hate being the reason of those tears, you know that?" – Was everything I heard.
Tears stopped draining down; My ears weren't believing what went through them. I raised my gaze one more time, he was still standing there with that upset look, not even a blink away of taking his gaze off of me.
"If you're a dream, I've got no time for you" – Was my reply.
"You aren't dreaming, and you've got plenty of time for me. Listen, God allowed me to come visit you & talk to you, but only you. He's been watching closely towards you & your life ever since I left this world, I know you even more than you know yourself, that's why he understood that even thought he can't let me stay here permanently, I'm capable of appearing on your darkest moments, those where tears are about to come out, and personally you know how much I hate seeing you cry." – I was totally dreaming, did Angus just talk to me?
Yes, Angus Bass, my boyfriend of 2 years and a half, my best friend & the love of my life, who tragically died in a Sports trip when we were in high school, was talking to me once again; In the past 8 years I haven't been capable of forgetting his voice, the tone he took towards me, and most importantly, the way he looked at me; His gaze makes me feel loved, makes me feel protected…
