Southern Wind
By Tenshi no Hoshi
A/N: Yeah, my first Furuba fic! I love Rin's story as a child. It reminds me a little of myself. For FYI I refer to her as Isuzu unless Haru is talking. Enjoy!
The sky is the limit, so look up and draw your own future. Tenshi no HoshiMy childhood life was like those of normal children. I believed that I was born into the world with loving, caring, and accepting parents. Our family was everything a child could wish for and my parents treated me as if I was their life to them. We did everything from cooking to swimming together. Although they treated me kindly, I could not help but wonder why I deserved such care.
I considered myself lucky compared to my cousins. To have a family as wonderful as my own was like sighting a faraway planet from your windowsill on a cloudy night, considering the cured blood that ran through our veins. It was bestowed upon our ancestors as a blessing, but was transformed into shackles holding us back from the real world as time passed by. The curse turned us into one of the twelve Chinese Zodiac animals, thirteen if you include the cat. Parents of cursed children such as ourselves completely reject us, or become extremely overprotective. Our lives are to be kept away from others, and that is why this spell once considered a blessing is now a curse. I felt as if I was one of the lucky ones, but deep down, I know it was too good to be true.
It occurred to me that my curse hardly ever came up in conversations occurring between my parents, and I wanted to know why they continued to nurture me, regardless of my curse. Wasn't there anything that could upset them? Wasn't there anything they didn't have fun doing with their daughter?
I was almost eleven when I decided to ask my parents. My mother and I ate our summer lunch outside in the grass fields. The rebellious wind blew from the North that day, sending an icy chill through the meadow. The feeling made me shiver in fear, but that chill only seemed to effect me. The tall grass surrounding me did not wave, and my mother seemed unshaken by the cold breeze.
It didn't occur to me that the chilly feeling derived from my mother. That answered why my surroundings stood still and why my mother was unaffected. She was the one who emitted that strange aura.
Although my mother always kept a warm smile implanted on her kind face, the mask would steadily lift, revealing her true nature.
Just like how the wind can blow in many different directions.
---------------Northern Wind-----------------
The raging wind from the North shuffled everything around the remaining life of summer. The grass swayed and the trees wavered, helpless against the wrath of the Northern Wind. Isuzu ran across the open field with blooming hibiscuses in her hands. The swift wind pushed her back as she repelled against it, stumbling along the way.
"Isuzu-chan! The food is ready! Hurry and come over to the porch," her mother called out as she waved her hands in the air, signaling her beloved daughter.
Isuzu tripped and fell flat on her face. "I'm coming, Mama," she answered as she picked herself off the ground without hesitation.
As her mother placed the rice on the table, Isuzu stuffed the squished flowers into the empty vase, which was set in the middle of the table as a centerpiece. Both of them took a seat at the flower-decorated table. The wind, which seemed to die down a bit, carried the appetizing aroma as her mother scooped rice for her daughter.
Isuzu hesitantly tugged her mother's sleeve, reluctant on whether she should bring up the dreaded topic of her curse. "Mama, why do you and Papa love me so much? You guys never get mad at me. Is it… because of the curse?"
The once calm mother looked down upon her daughter with raging flames, dancing in the midst of her eyes. She raised the half filled bowl in the air as a threat. "You ingrate! We've spent our lives finding ways to love you, and this is how you repay us!" She screamed as the bowl shattered into tiny pieces, unable to be put back together.
Those pieces resembled the life the little girl once had. The bowl signified a perfect world. An ideal, utopian world wouldn't be expected to last forever, though. A well written, suspenseful play would eventually come to an end, like how people eventually expire. Everything comes to an end sooner or later.
Isuzu stared at the sharp pieces scattered across the wooden porch. She was terrified by her mother's intimidating actions. "M-Mama…I-I'm sorry," she stuttered, almost in tears.
"Get out. Get out of my sight," her mother threatened, trying not to raise her voice.
Isuzu sat there dumbfounded as if she couldn't believe her mother's words, and then dashed through the field after meeting her mother's raging eyes as sparkling tears spilled from her eyes.
"What did I do wrong?" She asked herself as she struggled to seek freedom from the grip of the Northern Wind.
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I hardly heard from my parents since that day. What could have made them so upset? Once my mother told my father the words I spoke of, there was turning back. The world I once lived in shattered. The play we starred in came to an end. I often stood in front of my house, wondering, "are they still mad at me? Should I apologize to them?"
These questions quickly filled my head, and I soon found myself immune to everything else around me. "Why, why, why," was the only question I could ask; yet I never received any answers. If no one would be willing to help me, I'd look for those answers myself. Although my determination kept me going strong, the strength wouldn't last forever.
I remember one humid afternoon in springtime as I walked home from school. Baby flower buds already started to bloom as how trees gave birth to new leaves on it's branches. The heat and humidity of new spring became overwhelming, and I soon found myself facing the dirt ground, unable to walk or even stand up on my own.
As my head began wandering off in a daze, a little boy came up to me, offering to find help for me. That boy… his image was engraved in my distant memories. I've seen him once before. His soft white hair and empty eyes…
The boy was Haru.
--------------The Wind is Born------------------
A little girl lay still on the dirt ground as the younger boy bent down to check if she was conscious.
"Hmm…good, you're still conscious," he said to himself as he ran off for help.
"Wait right there!" Haru called out from afar.
Isuzu slowly closed her eyes as her surroundings became shrouded in shadows. "Haru…"
--------------A Few Hours Later-------------
The faint smell of latex gloves and metal woke the sleeping Isuzu. She first laid in bed in a daze, and then realized that she was placed in a hospital. Frantically, she arose from her cot, only to be stopped by an adult watching over her.
"Isuzu-san, please don't move," said the adult.
She looked up at him in oblivion. Such a tall man stood in front of her. His gentle eyes seemed to hold a painful past. Looking at him reminded little Isuzu of her. His past must have left the grotesque scars covering his arm: each one with its own story. Those scars could never be healed, but they stood there for one reason: to remind ourselves of our own sinful acts.
"Who are you?" Isuzu asked, hoping for a amiable response.
The man bowed out of courtesy. "I am Kazuma Sohma. Perhaps you've heard of me as Kyo Sohma's foster father," he said. "Do you recall what happened? Hatsuharu found you on the floor, and told me to help you."
"N-No, stop! I have to go home! It's because I'm such a bad girl that I'm here! Leave me alone! I have to go home!" Isuzu screamed as she struggled to push through Kazuma.
"I have to go home…before everything falls apart," she whispered quietly to herself.
"It's fine," said a female voice as the door opened. "You…you don't have to come home anymore."
Isuzu gazed with shaken eyes at her mother standing at the door wit eyes unable to meet her daughter's.
"Go somewhere…where I don't have to see you," her mother said solemnly. "Because…I just don't know how to love you anymore."
Her mother's words pierced through the remaining hope left in the little girl's heart, inflicting the pain over and over again as it echoed in her head like a bat's cry ringing throughout the empty field of stars up above. Is this what she deserved after what she has done her entire life? Is living and breathing the same air as normal humans a sinful act? How could she atone for a sin that she did not even have a choice to commit?
Isuzu's eyes widened in horror and fear as she covered her face out of shame with her sweaty palms.
A doctor, who overheard the conversation, escorted Isuzu's mother outside the room.
Haru on the other hand, who had been sitting in the corer of the room like a stoic watchdog, spoke up for his cousin's sake. "How could she say things like that so easily? When we hear words like that from our very own parents, what would you expect us to do?" Haru first said to himself, feeling anger arouse in his blood. He felt it coming: his "black" side. "Rin thinks she's been 'bad,' but who do you think is really acting badly!"
Haru dashed to the door like a lion pouncing on its pitiful prey, only to be caught by Kazuma. "Apologize! Apologize to Rin!" He screamed at her mother, who them slammed the door in his face.
Isuzu, who saw the whole scene in front of her, couldn't help but shed tears of happiness. Those tears reflected upon her cousin's acts of kindness. To stand up for someone in need of an accepting soul is sheer sympathy. To reach out and retrieve a lost and lonely soul drowning in its own despair is pure kindness. It is the type of kindness needed by those who have lost hope.
"Haru…Haru," Isuzu started to say, "T-thank you! Thank you Haru!" There was someone out there who was willing to stand up for her. There was someone out there who understood the pain she went through.
Haru remained still; oblivious to his actions, but then felt the same tears Isuzu cried run down his pale face.
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From that day on, it would be decided that I would live with Kagura and her family. Once I healed, everything would change. Would I ever feel the love and sympathy of another person? The memories of my parents still sicken me to this day as I remember our fake happiness. Even though that feeling wasn't real, they still gave me the feeing of acceptance. Whether that feeling of acceptance was real or not, I still can't tell, but at least I wasn't alone. After learning of the true feelings my parents held, I couldn't help but feel lonely. Regret and spite seemed to be the only emotions that arose in my broken heart.
But whenever those feelings became too much to bear alone, Haru would appear.
After my parents stopped visiting me, Haru would come to see me every day. Even after I healed, we would do things such as taking walks together. Our conversations were the most random, but his logic was surprisingly accurate in the quirkiest way. We would eat together, play together, and we even got into trouble together. Those memories of us erase the spiteful thoughts I once had.
One starry, moonlit night, Haru and I strolled past an empty field with long grass wavering in the rebellious wind. The haunting trees casted intimidating shadows not nearly as long as the field. The moon eerie aura felt somewhat gentle. The scene must have come from a melancholy drama or horror film. A weary, yet apprehensive film spread out before us. The whole scene looked so familiar.
It felt like the day my family was torn apart. Only this time, the warm wind from the south comforted me, and pushed me forward, urging me to go past my fears that stood before me.
---------------Southern Wind-----------------
The light wind carried the sweet aroma of grass, which danced in the moonlight sky. The breeze was both warm and comforting as it swept autumns leaves into the dark sky.
Two children walked along the edges of the grassy plain and looked down upon the reflecting waters of the tiny lake at the bottom of the hill. Although the scenery gave off a nostalgic feeling, the atmosphere felt welcoming.
Haru jumped into the grass as Isuzu watched him trip and fall on his behind. "Oof," he let out, landing with a thump.
Isuzu stepped into the tall grass and helped pick up her friend. "You idiot! What are you planning to do?" She asked playfully as Haru dusted himself off.
Haru shrugged and took her by the hand as they continued walking up the grassy hill. "C'mon, let's go to the top of the hill" he said. Once they reached the top of the hill, the world beneath them seemed to become a smaller scaled dollhouse of Japan. The gentle wind hardly seemed threatening as both children sat innocently, gazing down upon the lake below them.
"Rin? Can you feel it? The wind, I mean," Haru asked as he plucked a blade of grass.
Isuzu pushed her flowing ebony hair back as the serene wind from the South continued to blow. "What's your point?" she questioned, failing to understand him.
"The Southern Wind is blowing. Today must be lucky for you," Haru replied. He put the grass blade in his mouth, chewing it like a camel.
Isuzu stared at him in confusion. "What are you doing? You aren't really a cow! Get that stuff out of you mouth," said Isuzu as she slapped her hand on his back in an effort to make him cough the grass out.
Haru swallowed the grass and plucked another piece from the ground. "They say that animals like us are effected he stated. Haru placed the piece of grass on the palm of this hand and let the breeze brush it off.
Isuzu shut her eyes. "I was once told that my destiny is controlled by the wind," she said. "I wonder if it's true?"
"Yup, off course it is," said Haru casually. "See, when the freezing wind from the North blows, something must be holding you back. When the warm wind from the South blows, someone is pushing you forward. At least, that 's how I look at it. You're the horse after all."
Haru nodded in agreement with himself. "Yup, 'cuz horses aren't meant to be kept in barns, y'know? Horses should be able to run free and control their own lives. Of course, the rock terrain may make the road ahead of you rougher, and the Northern wind may hold you back, but you're strong, Rin. Don't ever forget that the southern wind is on your side. I guess that's why the air feels so nice and warm today."
Haru stood up and walked down the steep hill. Not realizing where he stepped, Haru slipped and found himself tumbling downhill, headed straight for the lake.
Isuzu jolted up and called after him. "Haru! Haru!
She ran down the hill without thinking as Haru landed in the water. He arose from the shallow water to see his cousin come after him. Isuzu slipped before she could reach the bottom of the hill and landed on Haru, pushing them both into the water.
"Ah, Haru! Are you okay?" Isuzu asked as she pulled him out of the water.
Haru coughed out water, and them laugheds until he choked himself. "Man, that was the best! Let's do it again, Rin!" Haru tried to say in between gasps for air.
Soon, they both found themselves laughing as they headed up the hill once again. Only this time, the Southern Wind helped bring them up.
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Haru's strange logic made sense in a way. Since that day, I started to believe that the opposing wind forces controlled my life. But since that evening, the Northern Wind stopped holding me back. I haven't felt it's chilly pangs in such along time. Now, only the Southern Wind blows, and every time it does, I feel like I'm getting closer to forgiving myself for who I.
I wonder if Haru ever realized it? Whenever the Southern Wind blew, he would always be around. All I can hope is for him to continue to be the Southern Wind who pushes me forward past all my fears.
Because if he didn't exist, the world in which I live in would become an lonely abyss of everlasting snow.
