Title: Soul Searching – Pt. 1

By: FanofRandy

Disclaimer: I do not own these characters. Emergency! is owned by Universal and Mark VII Productions. I make no profit from my imagination—only a personal joy and peace.

Summary: One of the crew is "lost" on a rescue gone wrong. (short summary! Sorry) Set between Season 3 and 4.

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The men of Station 51's A-crew arrived to work at sporadic times. Cap was always early. He came in around the time the morning tones sounded to awake the previous crew. He was always overwhelmed with paperwork and liked to get a head start. He and the previous shift's captain would also discuss what happened on that shift and any new information flowing to and from headquarters.

Mike Stoker was usually the second to arrive. Mike, though a man of few words, enjoyed interacting with the other firefighters and listened to their stories of the previous shift. Marco Lopez usually stopped by the church on his way to work each morning to light a candle and say a prayer for the day to St. Florian—the Patron Saint of Firefighters—to keep him and his brothers safe each shift.

Roy DeSoto usually arrived early enough to ensure he was able to dress and visit with his friends before having to report for Roll Call. Chet Kelly and John Gage were usually "right on time" or a little late depending upon traffic, their off-day activities, or whatever other excuse they may have come up with. The last one in was usually assigned Latrine Duty and it was usually Chet or John who had that dubious honor.

Today was not much different other than the fact that ONE of their regular shift-mates would not be reporting to work. In fact, the entire A-shift crew had been on forced sick leave since their last rescue three days ago. It was required that they all see the Department psychiatrist and be medically cleared by Dr. Brackett or Dr. Early at Rampart before reporting to work this morning. It had been a rough three days for all the men. And, knowing that one of their brother's would not be coming to work today was going to be especially difficult on them all.

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Captain Hank Stanley drove up to the Station at 06:58. He noticed through the back door of the day room that some of B-shift crew was already awake, but he did not like to enter until AFTER the morning tones sounded at 07:00. As he sat in his car, he reflected back to the last shift he had completed and was wondering what in the world went so wrong. He had been asking himself that for days now. He had talked with the psychiatrist and been cleared by Dr. Brackett to return to duty, but he still had many questions that remained unanswered. "Could I have done something that would have prevented this tragedy?" He wondered to himself for the 1000th time. He was startled from his thoughts when the morning tones sounded. He opened his door and walked into the station.

Marco had spent extra time at church and attended Mass, saying many prayers for his fellow crew members during his time off. They had all experienced a great shock and would be missing one of their own when they returned. That was not something he or the others were ready for. He prayed they would all have strength to see each other through the events of the last shift and help each other as they mended their hearts, minds, and souls. As he drove up to the station that morning, he knew he was a little earlier than normal, but his mother was insistent that he take some wonderful pastries—pan dulce (Mexican sweet breads)-she made to be shared by both the outgoing shift and with the men of A-shift.

Mike pulled in right behind Marco and helped him with his bags. The men shared what they did on their days away from the station. Both men had seen the psychiatrist on the same day, the day after the incident, and were cleared by Dr. Early the day before to return to work. Mike had even gone to Mass with Marco and began to pray more for his co-workers and the one who would be missing from their ranks today.

Chet pulled up in his VW Van and got out with his gear in hand. He was all business today. He had met with the psychiatrist and found that "the Phantom" was apparently a coping mechanism he used to help relieve the stress and tension of their very dangerous profession. He was certain that "the Phantom" would be a hiatus for quite some time. This stress was too much to overcome with a few pranks.

Roy pulled in and, as Cap did earlier, he sat in his car. He mulled over the last few days. That last run, the meeting with the psychiatrist, the last three days off, his family and his friends were weighing heavily on his mind. He struggled with walking through that door, knowing that they would not be truly "complete." He knew that this shift was going to test him and his brothers in a unique and profound way. He prayed that they would all make it through the next 24 hours with their wits intact. Roy took a deep breath and said a quiet prayer before entering the station. He would be missing his partner, John Gage, more than any of the rest of them today.

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Roy entered the locker room and glanced at Johnny's locker before he opened his own and began dressing. The other men around him from B-shift nodded their sympathies to Roy as they changed. Roy solemnly accepted their pity and concentrated on the task at hand. "Just focus, Roy." He thought to himself. "If you make it through this shift, the others will get easier." He hoped he was not lying to himself.

Just as he shut his locker door and started to the apparatus bay to report for Roll Call, Gil Robinson stepped into the locker room. He gave Roy a sideways grin as he passed by. Roy nodded his greetings and stood in the door a moment, glad that he would not be paired with Craig Brice. Roy was sure he could handle just about anything this shift, except having Brice assigned to be his partner. "Guess I'm stepping in for Gage, today." Gil said uncomfortably as he started changing into his uniform.

"Yeah, I guess we'll be partners for a while." Roy said glumly as he let the door swing shut behind him.

TBC