Mabel slowly opened her eyes. She stole a swift glance across the room to see if her brother was up yet. She was surprised to see him looking back at her, twin grins crossing their faces. "Mabel," he began, but she finished for him. "It's Saturday!" she shouted, jumping out of bed and throwing her blanket behind her. Mabel was practically bouncing off the walls with the excitement of the morning.
This Saturday was no different than any other Saturday, but Mabel loved lying in her PJs all day and relishing in the fact that she and her brother didn't have to work in the Shack. So she ran across the room to Dipper's bed and tugged the covers out from under him. Dipper groaned and rolled over. He liked Saturdays too, but definitely not to the degree as Mabel did.
"DIPPER!" she shouted in his ear. "GET UP!"
"All right, I'm up," he told her, chuckling a bit at his sister's enthusiasm. The twins walked down the wooden staircase in their bare feet, and they were greeted by the smell of bacon, which Stan always made on Saturdays. Dipper and Mabel took their seats at the table, along with Stan, Soos, and Waddles.
"Mornin kids," Stan grinned and flipped up his eyepatch as he flipped whatever meat concoction he was frying up. "Whatcha got planned for today?"
"Nothing," Dipper told him as he shoveled a handful of pancakes into his mouth.
"Well, if ya got nothing, Soos and I are going to be doing some renovation projects on the Shack! You know, cuz it's all old and disgusting and such," Stan told them.
"Couldn't you hire a guy for that?" Dipper asked.
"Guys cost money!" Stan patted Soos on the back. "We're guys! We're tough! We can handle this!"
"I'm not tough," Soos told them. "I'm all soft. And squishy. Like a big old donut." He pulled up his shirt and poked his belly.
"So kid, nothing happening? That's a first."
"Nope. We're just gonna go where the day takes us!"
"Boo!" Mabel yelled, then chugged a glass of Mabel-Juice. "That's boring! And stupid!"
"Okay, okay," Dipper said. "Is there anything you have in mind?"
"NOPE!" Mabel shouted, flopping backwards in her chair. But she was hiding from Dipper that secretly, she wanted to go into town and meet boys. Ever since her last failed summer romance, she'd been desperate to find a guy to put into her scrapbook.
"Hey, I have an idea," she said to him. "How about if we, I don't know, make ourselves look attractive and hang out at Greasy's Diner?" she asked, twisting a strand of her hair around her finger nonchalantly.
Dipper looked suspicious. "Why would we want to 'make ourselves look attractive'?" he asked her, making air quotes.
"Well, you see," Mabel started, then mentally panicked. What does Dipper like…sciency stuff! And food! "You see, scientific studies have shown that when people make themselves look nice then hang out at local diners in flirty outfits, such as my sparkly pink heart sweater, diner owners are more likely to give them free food!" she lied.
Dipper swallowed a mouthful of pancakes and thrust his fist in the air. "I'm in. Free food, here I come!"
"Hey dudes," Soos said, flipping a pancake. "When I want to look attractive, I wear my special underwear. Nobody can see it, but it still makes me feel good about myself." He shimmied a little, causing him to accidentally flip a pancake onto his face.
"That's weird, man," Dipper told him.
"It's a good idea, but the only problem with it is that ALL of my underwear is special!" Mabel and Soos laugh with each other while Dipper and Stan stare.
/
An hour later, Dipper and Mabel are at Greasy's Diner, sitting in the booth closest to the door. Mabel is wearing her sparkly heart sweater and Dipper is wearing a matching bowtie that Mabel forced him into by saying "Diner owners LOVE bowties!" He sat across from Mabel, tapping his fingers on the wood grumpily. "How long is this going to take?" he complained. "This bowtie is so uncomfortable."
"Aw, suck it up, Broseph." Mabel is busy putting all of her flirtiest poses into practice - the Sit 'n' Twirl, the Side-Slide, and her favorite, the Surprise Glitter. The theory behind the Surprise Glitter was that everyone who walked into the diner would instantly focus on her because of her bedazzled clothes, and the boys who liked what they saw would stay. So for, she'd only attracted two moths, seven squirrels, and twenty-three flies.
Dipper glanced out the window to distract himself from Mabel's scheme (he had figured out he had been tricked by now), and saw a black van pull into the parking lot. He watched as three very familiar teenagers climb out - a tall, dark-haired boy wearing a gray sweatshirt and extremely skinny pants with his arm around a short, dark-skinned girl with pink highlights, followed by a tall, lanky teen wearing a green flannel jacket, sporting a floppy hat on top of her bright red hair. Dipper's heart skipped a beat. Wendy's here! She can't see me in this dorky bowtie!
Dipper anxiously looked at Mabel, who was busy talking to a guy about her age. "If you were a tropical fruit, you'd be a fine-apple!" she told him, flipping her hair. The guy nervously backed away to the other end of the diner, where most of the other boys Mabel had "charmed" were huddled.
Dipper leaned towards Mabel. "Uh, Mabel, don't you think we've been here long enough?"
"Of course not, Dip. We've only been here for half an hour!" Spotting another victim, she leans out into the aisle. "One sec, Dipper. Hey! Yeah, you! You know what this sweater is made of?" She winks. "Girlfriend material!" She waves at the boy as he runs into the men's room. "What's that you were saying, Dipstick?"
"Well..." Dipper glanced toward the window and saw Wendy approaching with Robbie and Tambry. Time to take drastic measures!
He faked a few weak coughs. "I'm sick. Let's go home."
"Aw, Dipper, suck it up! We're having fun!"
"Sure, you are. I just wanna go home!" Dipper peered through the dirty glass of the window and saw that Wendy was almost at the door. He put his hands around his throat. "Ahg! This bowtie is cutting off my circulation!" he fakely choked. "I must get it off now!" He was able to rip it off right before Wendy spotted them (and right before Mabel saw through his bad acting).
"Sup, dorks."
"Uh, Wendy! Hi!" Dipper stammered. "Uh, Mabel and I were just hanging out here, cuz you know, that's what we like to do! Here, I mean! Where else? Haha!" He cringed inwardly at his initial awkwardness. Stupid, he told himself.
"Hi Wendy!" Mabel shouted at her. "I'm glad you're here, because now Dipper will want to stay! Cuz you know, he has a really big CRUSH ON YO-mphle!" Dipper managed to cover her mouth and push her under the table just in time.
"Well, we were thinking about leaving, but on a completely unrelated note, I think I'll stay!" he told Wendy. "Where are you sitting?"
Wendy grinned; by now, she was incredibly accustomed to Dipper's mindless rambling. "We're sitting at - oh, shoot, I lost Robbie and Tambry." The happy couple had not bothered to stay and talk with the twins with Wendy, so now they were lost in the Saturday brunch crowd.
"I'll help you find them!" Dipper hurriedly told her. "I'm really good with directions!"
Wendy smiled at the small, hopelessly crushing twelve-year-old. "Sure, squirt." They both looked at Mabel. "What about your sister?"
Mabel was currently engaging another helpless boy in a one-sided conversation. "Hey, can I have directions?" she asked.
The boy looked confused. "To where?"
Mabel leaned in really close and whispered "To your heart!"
Unlike the other creeped out boys, this one didn't bother running to the other end of the diner. He ran right out the door.
Dipper looked at Wendy. "She'll be fine." He adjusted his hat. "Now, let's chart a course for Robbie and Tambry - otherwise known as Love Island." He caught Wendy staring at him. " I didn't mean that in a nerdy way," he explained.
She grinned. "You're cute, dork. C'mon, let's go."
The tips of Dipper's ears glowed pink at the compliment - She thinks I'm cute!
He followed the redheaded teen through the crowded diner, pausing every now and then to look around him for a flash of green flannel. Dipper eventually found Wendy standing in the middle of an aisle, watching Robbie and Tambry passionately make out in a booth with a disgusted look on her face.
"I should be used to them going out by now, but I just can't get over it!" she told him. "Hey, let's sit over here." They slid into the empty booth behind Robbie and Tambry.
"So, should we order something?" Dipper asked her nervously, while keeping in the back of his mind that, technically, he was on a date with Wendy!
"Sure. I could really go for some fries, although I've heard rumors about what they let people do to them back there." Dipper coughed nervously. "But I'm willing to take the risk," she added, winking. Wendy stood up and flagged down Lazy Susan. "Hey, can we get some fries here?"
"Sure!" Lazy Susan bent down beside Dipper. "And tell your uncle I said hi! HI!" She stood up and lifted her eyelid. "Wink!"
"Uh, okay, I guess," Dipper said, although he knew he wouldn't. Stan had kind of lost interest in Lazy Susan after an incident in which she had gotten his phone number.
/
"No way! Your dad did what?" Dipper was laughing so hard he choked on his fry. After a few hard pounds on the back, Wendy continues with her story, while Dipper tried to choke attractively.
"Yup, he punched the wall. That's apparently his solution to everything: Squirrels in the attic: punch the wall. Termites in the house: punch whatever's left of the wall. House falls down: punch the nearest tree. We've got so many holes in our walls, it's like a giant woodpecker lives with us!"
Dipper was just working up the nerve to tell Wendy about the time when he and Mabel took an unexpected trip to Scuttlebutt Island to follow the Gobblewonker, when a very pink, very sparkly, sweater-clad tornado rushed up to their table.
"DIPPER!" she bellowed into his ear. "Look! My flirting tactics paid off! I GOTTA BOYFRIEND!" Dipper noticed the guy standing behind her.
"Uh, what's his name?" Dipper asked.
"It's Doug," Mabel explained. Dipper immediately disliked Doug. He couldn't put his finger on it but there was just something about him that he didn't like.
Doug was a tall, somewhat awkward boy who looked to be about Mabel's age. He wore a red sweatshirt, had bright green eyes, and a very pale face that looked a bit oversized. He looked kind of familiar to Dipper, but he had never seen him before.
"He doesn't talk much," Mabel informed them.
"Well, great job!" Wendy told her. "Since Stan is too out of it, I guess I'll have to act the role of the father!" She stuffed her hair into her cap and pulled a strand across her lip to look like a moustache. "Young man," she said sternly to Doug. "I want her home by ten! Every night! And keep your hands NORTH of the EQUATOR! But not TOO north!"
Mabel giggled. "Oh Wendy, you're so funny!"
"Yup. Funny." Doug finally spoke. Or more, grunted. "You remind me of my brother, Jeff."
"He's told me all about his brother Jeff!" Mabel gushed. "They're so close!"
"Yeah, and speaking of brothers, I'm supposed to be watching mine!" Wendy told them. "I better go make sure they didn't burn down the house or whatever. Catch you dorks later!" She buttoned up her flannel and distributed high-fives before leaving.
"Bye Wendy!" Dipper called after her. "See you tomorrow?"
"Hey, same place same time, kid." Dipper's heart soared at the prospect of spending another morning with Wendy in a solitary booth by the window, sharing fries, telling stories…
"I said WAKE UP!" Mabel snapped her fingers in front of his face. "We're going home! I have to make myself look beautiful for my date with Doug tonight!" She blew him a kiss. "Bye Doug!" He waved.
"I still have a funny feeling about 'Doug'," Dipper told Mabel on their way out.
"Oh, relax, Dip. He's just a guy! Who has been charmed by the greatness of: MABEL!" she told him, jumping into the air. Dipper sighed and began the walk home ten steps ahead of her.
