All the Pats in Ballarat

It's only a country town,

but Catholics abound;

and home to an abundance of Pats,

that's our Ballarat.

There is Patrick and Pat

Padraig and Paddy,

Don't forget Patricia or Pats

Patty or Patsy,

Patricks' a drover,

stalwart and sober

And Padraig O'Brien

has the heart of a lion

But Pat likes a drink

Never stopping to think

of his loving wife Patty

whom he drives quite batty.

Nurse Pats is the queen

of ward seventeen,

Where Patricia is often seen

venting her spleen

About that old Patsy

who is quite nasty

To son little Paddy

just a wee small laddie.

So when in the 'rat

just holler out "Pat"

no matter where you are at

someone's bound to answer back.

Wild.

(someday I may write a 'Bill' story on this theme)