Disclaimer: I don't own the newsies. If I did, the movie would probably be rated PG-13 or higher.
Author's Note: Shut up about the categorizing. So I'm a little bit OCD. Hush. Enjoy and PLEASE comment!
Chapter One—JACK
DAVEY:
I stole your toenail clippers. And I found your flavored condoms and poked a hole in every grape one.
KID BLINK:
It was I who stole your best eyepatch, not Mush.
MUSH:
I spat on your waffle in third grade. I know where your shampoo is. I just prefer the smell of Blink's, so I keep yours hidden so you'll use his. Plus I framed you when I stole Blink's best eyepatch.
SKITTERY:
I used your toothbrush to clean my shower once. And remember when I said it wasn't my fault I ruined your last pair of socks? It was. I spilled Hawaiian Punch on them. It wasn't blood from an alien abduction at all.
RACETRACK:
The porn you got busted for was mine.
SPOT:
I had a wet dream about you last night. And the Fall Out Boy on your iPod? I put it there.
LES:
I
actually hate you, but I put up with you to get to David.
BOOTS:
I videotaped you drunkenly fooling around with Crutchy at the Christmas party last year and sold it to Weasel for $572 dollars.
CRUTCHY:
Your crutch has a hole in it that I like to try to shoot loads into when I jack off.
SPECS:
I hacked into your Runescape account to cyber with your online girlfriend three years ago. That's the real reason she dumped you.
DUTCHY:
Your Playboy magazines disappear to under my bed after two months. It's not Specs' fault. I'm using them to prove I'm not gay. Oh, yeah, and I steal your deoderant sometims if I can't find mine.
SNODDY:
I filled your nose spray with diluted pepper spray once when I was bored.
SNIPESHOOTER:
I lied—that shirt makes you look fat.
JAKE:
I secretly switch your underwear with Swifty's when you're in the shower after gym class sometimes.
SWIFTY:
I borrowed your jockstrap last weekend for my soccer game cos David's a dickhead and stole mine.
PIE EATER:
I think your name is stupid.
BUMLETS:
I think you and Spot should do a dance to Santa Fe from that one musical Newsies in white tutus on that one show So You Think You Can Dance.
