Of Natural Balances and Harmony
Summary: Fire and Metal aren't always compatible and Roy learns that the hard way as he stares at the newspaper in his hands. Past RoyXFem!Ed, and current LingXFem!Ed. Warnings: Language? Still Alchemist!Ed and Alive!Hughes
Disclaimer: I do not own FMA
Roy Mustang was not a man who believed that man's fate was set in stone. He believed that a human's destiny was made by one's own hands. But as he looks down at the letter in his hand, he wonders if this is fate, no, if this was their fate.
He was an attractive man with a position in the military, and a state alchemist to boot. He had a sharp mind and was a man that was respected by his subordinates. He was also a man with many achievements and titles, ranging from the Flame Alchemist, Hero of Ishval to Chief and Ladies' Man. But that wasn't it he was a man that had both elegance and ambitions. Not to mention that it seemed that there was no flaw to his person, yet despite this that person still left him.
He would lament, but it wouldn't be like him and he knows that there's no point to it. That wouldn't bring that person back, no, she was already long gone and will forever be unattainable to him now. She, was none other than the Full Metal, well, she had already regained her limbs so it wasn't really applicable anymore, Alchemist. But that was just her title; her real name was Edralene Elric. She was a woman who had been loved and admired by many people, himself included.
She had been the youngest state alchemist, and could only be called as an independent and driven woman. Her hair and eyes were the color of molten gold and she had a personality as tough as the metal that used to be her limbs. But she had something to her, a natural charisma that brought others to her, that made others listen to her. So, it was little surprise to him when people started calling her the Alchemist of the People.
As an alchemist, she was one of the best. Her knowledge on it was unmatchable in all of Amestris and her genius revered by even those who have spent their entire lives devoted to the study of Alchemy. But on the other hand, the girl had a quick temper, especially when anyone made a comment or joke on her height. There were also only a handful of people she would show her kinder side, some examples would be her younger brother, her childhood friend and his old friend Maes Hughes.
As if it was a sin, she never wanted to let anyone see her when she was weak or vulnerable. Instead, the persona that she presented to the world was that she feared absolutely nothing and that she didn't need any help. Lies, he knew they were. He saw how she was struggling; he saw the glimpses of pain and grief in her eyes. They say that the eyes were the window of the soul, but that has never proven truer than with Ed.
She had been his subordinate, so he got to see it sometimes whenever she returned back to central. But instead of trying to address it, he let it be. He had thought that if he tried to pry, she would get upset and leave headquarters, that she would leave him. At the time they had already begun to date, in secret of course. He would be charged with Fraternizing if they didn't keep it as a secret. So he just watched as she masked all her feelings with layers upon layer of bored indifference.
But now after he thought back on it, he realized that the reason he didn't do anything about it was because he was had really been afraid. He was afraid of fixing her, because once he did her wings would be unclipped and she'd be able to fly away to a place that he wouldn't be able to reach. He hadn't wanted that, no that was the last thing he wanted. He just wanted her to stay with him by his side, but her chase for the philosopher stone kept her away from him and even after that there was the homunculus incident.
But after that, he had foolishly believed that things would get better. She had already left the military by then and started living with him while she was doing further study on Alchemy. But he had insisted that they continue to keep their relationship a secret. While Fraternizing was no longer an issue, it wouldn't be good for his claim to the position of Führer, if anyone found out about them. She was much younger than him, and as for a double whammy, she was a former subordinate who was infamous for disobeying orders.
She wasn't exactly material for the first lady of Amestris. The first lady should be a demure, polite and proper young lady. The complete opposite of his fiery Ed who was never afraid to speak her mind and getting into a good old fist fight. But he didn't give up on her, believing that she would someday be a great first lady after a bit of time. He just needed to polish some of her rough edges, but once that was done, she would sparkle like the diamond she is.
So he tried to subtly change her, and while she was amused at first and even humored him sometimes, it seemed that it eventually made way to complications in their relationship. It didn't help that he stayed out late during those times to work extra hours in the office, to help out with his military career. It was because of this that they had a lack of communication between them. But the straw that broke the camel's back was when he never publicly acknowledged their relationship and continued to keep up appearance as a lady killer.
Of course, he didn't do anything with those women. But he did flirt a lot with them, and occasionally took one of them out for a simple meal. He thought she would understand. He thought that since he told her about them, that she would see that they were just a part of his rouse. He thought that she already knew how his love was solely hers ever since long ago, and will forever belong to her. In hindsight, he probably should have seen how much harder he made things for her.
Thoughts full of what if's assail him every night and keep him up. He knows it isn't good to linger on something that is already over, but it's impossible not to think about it. If only he had told her how much he needed her, if only he explained what he felt for her, would things have ended any differently for them? If he had, was it possible that he wouldn't have had to return home from work late at night, only to find both Ed and her things gone?
She had left completely and left no trail behind her. There wasn't a single book, or even one of her research paper left in his home. The only thing she did leave him was a small letter by his desk, if it could be considered a letter; that had the one word that he never wanted her to say to him- "Goodbye." It wrote, nothing more, nothing less, and for days he tried searching for her. While it wasn't good for his campaign if he just suddenly took off and played hooky with work like that, at the time all he wanted was Ed back.
So he searched high and low in central, he went over and asked his and Ed's friends if they've seen her anywhere, and he even went to Resembool. But to no avail, she was nowhere to be found. After a week he decided to stop his futile searching and instead focused on the seat for Führer. He thought that Ed would one day come back to him, and even if she wouldn't return to him, then she would at least come back to Central City.
When she returned, he decided that he would beg for her back if necessary and ask her to marry him once she forgave him. He thought that by letting her go free now, it would be a small price to pay for the future he envisioned. He would stay and become Führer, and give her a place to go back to in Central. That had been his biggest mistake, and he didn't even realize that he just allowed her to slip from his fingers completely.
For two years, he didn't hear a peep or even a rumor about her, which was strange because she was the type of person who would normally leave a trail of uproars and destruction in her wake. But when he did, his world came crashing down on him. It had been just another day for him, and he was going through his regular morning routine of waking up, getting dressed before eating breakfast while reading the newspaper. But once he saw the headlines on the Amestris Times that day, his entire world began to crumble.
The headline wrote "Former State Alchemist soon to become Xing Empress" in big bold letters with the whole article about how Edralene Elric had gotten engaged to Emperor Ling and was going to marry him in just a few months' time. As if to add insult to injury, that afternoon he received a letter that had been sent to him by Ed weeks ago, that contained his wedding invitation to their wedding. It was as if she was hammering the final nail to the coffin to their relationship, to what they were and to what they could've been.
That night, he had drunk himself to a stupor and also on the next night, and the night after that. But after those first three days, both Hawkeye and Hughes decided that it was time to intervene and told him to snap out of it. It was fitting that it would be them, who would end up forcing him back on the right path. They were the only ones who really knew about him and Ed, and now that he thinks about it, they had repeatedly warned him before when he and Ed were still together, to take care of her better.
But he hadn't listened to them; he had assumed that since Ed didn't really complain and that they weren't fighting, it was the same as being in a good relationship. But that was wrong, he was wrong. Ed might have been miserable, but she most probably just didn't say a thing because she thought that he wouldn't listen. They might have been able to live together without fighting, but they weren't really all that happy either.
While it had been hard, he eventually did get his act together. He had already lost Ed, so there was no way he was going to lose his other dream too. He started to work harder at his job, and as ironic as it was, the next few months were probably his most defining moments in his military career. But while work was a welcome distraction from Ed, he couldn't quite forget about her in all sense of the word. After the initial news had broken, the media had focused their entire attention on Ed.
Articles about her accomplishments were written down on the newspapers as it seemed that everyone wanted to know more about the Amestrian woman who managed to win over the Emperor of a foreign land. As if that wasn't enough, everywhere he went he could hear conversations with Ed as the favorite topic at both the workplace and in the city. But instead of dying down, thing seemed to escalate as the wedding grew closer. It even reached the point that books and biographies were written about her.
Of course, they were edited and some things were watered down. He himself had read one, if only to see what had come out of his interview with the author of the book since the man had knocked on his door in order to know more details of Ed's military career. There were only a few things that the military kept tight lipped about as much as Ed's time in the military.
He didn't really know why he agreed to it. Perhaps he was just using it as an excuse in order talk to someone about her because it had been a long time since he ever spoke about her to anyone, really. But he was rather amused when he read the lies in the book to hide military secrets and the fact that she and her brother had committed the biggest taboo in alchemy. So the book was quite entertaining really, and some of the lies started to make sense when he found out that Hughes and Armstrong were the biggest reference for the book.
As he had expected, there was no mention about the homunculus, and of course nothing about the relationship they had shared either. But on the short chapter on Ed's military career, he saw that the author had quoted him word for word and that was the only time he realized how much he had to say about her if the number of pages that were taken up were any indication. Briefly, he wondered what Ed would think or say if she'd read up on what he had said about her.
But altogether, the book started from accounts from Pinako and Winry and ended with an actual account from Ed, herself that had been taken months ago. It wasn't really an account, more of a question and answer portion, with the author of the book asking the questions and Ed giving brief answers. It was there that some mysteries had been solved, like where she went after leaving him. As it turns out, she left for further studies on Alchemy in the east, like her brother had done.
From there she met up with the old friend, Ling, who had apparently offered her a job as his temporary alchemist and given her a place in the palace where she could conduct her research and that was how everything begun. When the wedding was quickly closing in, the others had decided to start the journey to Xing early. But he hadn't gone with them despite their urging, and he hadn't gone to the wedding at all. While he did want to see her one last time before she got married, he knew how it would end.
It would end with his heart breaking all over again if he had to watch her get married to another man, and he didn't trust himself not to try and whisk her away from the ceremony. So he stayed behind and spent the day alone at his office since Ed had also invited all of his subordinates, Hughes and all of her friends from the military. After work, he decided to spend his evening in a pub. But while most of the other patrons were drinking to celebrate the occasion, he was just trying to drink his sorrows away.
After everyone had returned after the wedding, it seemed that work had become some form of new torture for him in the following days as his subordinates kept talking about the wedding and about how beautiful Ed had become. Each statement were a dagger to his heart and he could only thank the gods he didn't believe in, for Hawkeye, who had made them so busy with the work they missed while they were in Xing, that their conversations were kept to a bare minimum. Hughes also helped out with the others by slyly changing the conversation, in the way only he could do.
The next time he saw Ed again, it was half a year after her wedding and it was on the day of the opening of the new railway that connected Amestris and Xing. A party was held in honor of this momentous occasion and on the guest list were Amestrian big shots, ambassadors, diplomats and of course, the emperor and empress of Xing. Ling had been dressed in his pure white emperor robes, while Ed's robes had been dyed completely black.
It seemed that even after becoming an empress; her favorite colors still hadn't changed. But that wasn't the only thing that changed as his heart started to long for her again as soon as he saw her. His subordinates had been right, at the age of eighteen; she had grown a bit taller and was more beautiful than ever. But that wasn't the only thing he noticed about her, he noticed that her once dignified stride now had a regal flair to it.
He also noticed how more cordial she had become when she talked to both ambassadors and the reporters who had been outside. She handled them with effortless elegance and grace befitting of her title and as he continued to watch her interact with others from across the room, he realized that she just didn't look the part, but she had truly become a Xing Empress. Realizing that was probably what led him to step outside the party, as he felt a stinging kind of pain in his chest at the mere thought.
Once he was out in the balcony, he realized he wasn't alone as he found an old Xingian woman there as well. "Shouldn't you be with your lady?" He asked conversationally as the old woman shook her head. "The empress has insisted that I take a break." She answered which caused a rueful smile to appear on his face. "She is a good empress then, to think about the needs of her aides." The woman nodded at that. "My empress is. In our country the people love her, and call her the Sun Empress."
Roy fought of the urge to laugh. "Because of her hair and eyes?" But the old woman only shook her head again. "No, it is because my empress is like the sun. She gives light in the darkness." The old woman answered before adding. "Even when she was still working for the emperor, she used her power to help many citizens of Xing." Roy raised an eyebrow at that. "When you say power, you mean alchemy, right?" He asked as the woman nodded.
"Well, even here she was well loved as a champion of the people and when it comes to alchemy she's second to none." He commented. "My empress is a kind one, and I, like many others think that she has been sent by the gods for the emperor and Xing." She says as Roy tries to keep the bitterness in his tone when he speaks next. "What makes you say that?" He asks. "A lot of good changes have happened ever since my empress arrived at Xing."
"Our country has progressed in the field of what you call alchemy since she started working for the emperor. The emperor himself has said that he could have never gotten to where he was without her. But Xing has prospered under both the current emperor and empress rule, and I believe Xing will continue to improve." She says as Roy gives a quick glance at Ed who was now happily chatting with Hughes and Armstrong. "Will you enlighten me as to tell me why you believe that?"
"In Xing's belief of the natural harmony and balance of the elements, water and metal make a good combination." She told him wisely, and when it seemed that her companion didn't understand, she sighed before explaining. "The emperor is born with the element of water. His true nature can be as gentle as early spring rain or as strong as a tsunami. Not just that, the element that we call water will also always find a way to flow. My empress has the element of metal, strong and unyielding. Both elements are opposites, and thus they complete each other, like yin and yang."
"They will be able to make up for what the other lacks and it is Xing's belief that having the correct balance of Yin and Yang is a factor that contributes to prosperity and success." She answered, and while she wasn't looking at him he frowned at that. "But then that's the same as saying that the two of them becoming the emperor and empress of Xing was already decided by fate." The old woman was silent at first but eventually answered. "Perhaps, it may have been decreed by fate."
"My emperor believes that fate had brought him to meet my empress. But when he was still courting my empress, I thought that she had been very good for him. I had even thought that it was a sign from the heavens that she should be the next empress." She said as he turned to him. "You are born with the element of fire; I suggest that you don't surround yourself with people with the element of wood and metal." She told him as she started to leave, but he stopped her.
"Why not metal?" He asked as the woman ceased her movements and turned back towards him. "It would not be advisable for you. Fire is a powerful element, and to some extent it has an affinity to metal, but that is only if it is the correct amount. The fire I see in you is too strong, and it will more likely destroy your relationship with someone who has the element of metal. But from how I see it, you need not worry as the people you surround yourself with are not of the wood or metal element."
The old woman had soon left to return to Ed's side while Roy chose to stay behind on the balcony. He didn't believe in all that element mumbo jumbo, but ironically, it was the only explanation that made most sense as to why he and Ed didn't work out. But on the other hand, if that was true then it was the same as accepting that they never really had a chance to begin with, so he was torn. But he decided to stop thinking about it; there would be little good that comes from this.
In all honesty, it didn't really matter anymore. He had already long accepted the fact that they were never going to be together. With that in mind, he went back inside to the party and as things played out, he was approached by Ed while her husband was busy conversing with Hughes. His heart begun to ache for her; but he tried not to show it and kept a neutral face on. "You didn't come to my wedding." Were her words of greeting and despite how messed up things were between them, he tried to act normal.
"Should I have? Were you expecting me to dramatically burst through the doors and carry you off in front of everyone?" He asked with the best smirk he could muster as he tried to keep his tone as light as possible. Ed then allowed a small smile on her face. "Of course not, I would have used my alchemy on you, had you tried." She replied before she added. "Where's the lieutenant, by the way? I don't see her anywhere." The corner of Roy's mouth twitched at that. "You're still calling her lieutenant?"
"To me, she'll always be lieutenant Hawkeye." She retorted as Roy answered her question. "She couldn't come here tonight since she hasn't been feeling well lately." He told her as she nodded. "But still, empress of Xing, huh? Just how did Ling manage to put a ring on that finger of yours when even I couldn't?" Roy asked in a tone that suggested that he was just curious about the answer. Though it wasn't really very empress-like, she stuck her tongue out at him when no one was looking.
"Just because we didn't work out, doesn't mean that it was impossible for me to get married. But I guess those times that he gave me access to the royal library and the time he had searched all of Xing for one reference book did go a long way for me." She replied as she glanced back at her husband who was now talking to an ambassador. "Bribed by books, why am I not surprised?" He asked as a small smirk appeared on her face. "The best way to an alchemist's heart is through her mind."
Roy scoffed at that. "Why are you only telling me this now?" He asked. "Because I thought you would have known since you were an alchemist too." She replied. "I'm a soldier before an alchemist though." He replied and she frowned. "Yes, you were." Roy had to bite back any witty comeback he was going to say when he heard the tone of her voice. "Ed, I-" He started, but wad cut off. "No, don't. It's fine, it's already been two years, more than enough time for me to get over what happened."
"I've already accepted the fact that at some point in time what you wanted wasn't what I needed and that our paths eventually separated from each others'." She said with a sigh and Roy kept silent. There was nothing he could say to that. "There was no way to salvage our relationship, but I hope that we can still be friends." She told him as Roy sighed. "Of course that would be for the best since we're definitely going to see a lot of each other in the near future."
There was a moment of silence before Ed decided to break it. "You comment about me being empress, but you haven't done so badly either." She told him and he raised an eyebrow. "What else did you expect from me, Full Metal?" The Xing Empress sighed at that. "You're still as conceited as ever, I see." She commented before turning around when someone approached her. It was the old woman whom he talked to at the balcony who whispered something to her.
"It looks like we have to cut this conversation short." She said as he gave her a small bow. "Of course, it would be a crime to keep the empress of Xing here, when you're needed elsewhere." He replied and Ed rolled her eyes. "Coming from you, I can't help but think you're mocking me. But since I need to leave, give the lieutenant my regards and tell her to get well soon." She said before adding. "I hope that you enjoy the rest of the evening Führer, and congratulations on your wedding. Sorry, that I wasn't able to attend it."
After another hour of mingling with his peers, he decided that it was about time to make his exit. So after saying his farewells, he left the building and went inside his car and told the driver to bring him home, where his wife and former lieutenant, Riza, was most probably already fast asleep considering the time. They had gotten married a month ago shortly after his promotion to Führer. It wasn't that he had fallen for the woman, and she wasn't under any mistaken impression that his heart belonged to anyone but Ed.
They did have mutual love and respect for each other though, and that was what made him decide that she should be his first lady, and it wasn't like he didn't care for her. Of course, there was also some criticism that was thrown his way regarding his choice because just like Ed, Riza wasn't the stereotype first lady, not to mention she was also his former subordinate. But he didn't regret his decision as she kept him grounded and he trusted her with his life. Though he would admit that at times, he wished that instead of honey blond, he would have gold by his side instead.
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