P.S. I love you…
Dear Hikari,
I remember that day very vividly. I bet you do too. For it was the day I avowed my love for you. Remember how your face lit up with confusion and rapture? And how I was so nervous and how my hands were shaking? It was great seeing you so happy. Don't you remember that day?
Lightened with one lamp beside the couch, Takeru sat up with Hikari stretched out on the cushions with her upper body wrapped in one of his strong arms. Although her eyes were closed, she was still awake and smiling. Takeru was holding a book in his free hand, reading it to her and playing with her hair, almost absentmindedly. The title of the book was called: "A Tale of Two Cities." It was for their English report.
"Takeru," Hikari whispered and interrupted his reading.
He in return to the voice closed the book and looked down at her. "Yeah?"
She leaned against him gently and said with her innocent and angelic voice, "Please say what you said earlier."
Takeru laughed. "Kari, come on. How many times have I said it tonight?"
"Words can never lose their absolute meaning."
Takeru gave into her plead and kissed her on the forehead. "I love you, Hikari."
Yes, yes. You must remember because of all the times you begged me to say those words. And you were always thrilled when I surprised you by saying them myself. Your face never abandoned that smile. Our relationship grew each undying moment and I couldn't stand to be without you. Do you recall that night when I took you out of the house through your window? You said it was the most sweetest night that we spent together. I don't exactly remember why it was so special…
"Sh! Let's go, Hikari." Takeru waved his hands, gesturing to go outside.
She hesitated. "I don't want to get in trouble."
"You won't," insisted he, "trust me."
His words were so gentle and full of anxious ways. And his eyes danced wildly with secrets and love. Finally Hikari caved in and slipped her slender body out the window. Taker closed it after she was out. When he held out his hand, she took it willingly and the walked down the rusty steps to the fire escape. They arrived on the ground when Taichi, her over-protective brother, threw open the window.
"Hikari!" he called out frantically. Sounds of laughter filled the night air as Takeru lead her down the street in a brisk walk.
"I'm going to be in so much trouble!" Hikari boasted when they sat down in the large fields beside the park. The temperature was at a mild warmth and the green grass was softer than ever. Hikari fell onto her back and sighed. Takeru did as well and the girl set her head against his shoulder. Stars decorated the velvet sky in any amount of ways and the crescent moon displayed its light of own.
"I love you, Hikari." Takeru whispered and a smile crossed her face.
"Takeru," she whispered back, "I love you too. And someday when we're both old…"
"I know what you're going to say…"
"Oh yeah?"
"Yeah." Takeru nodded and squeezed her hand fondly. "If you were to die first… I would visit your grave on Christmas and write you a letter in the cold."
Hikari smiled gently.
"And then I'll attach it to a balloon and send it up to you so you can receive it." Takeru finished.
"Do you promise to that?"
"…I promise."
Maybe just the fact that we said, "I love you" to each other. But then every other night would be the same. You know all the days that we whispered those words in class. We held hands and exchanged hugs. And a few kisses on the cheek. Maybe it was the day we made a promise to write those letters… Ah, yes… Now I remember… it was the first night we shared our first kiss… Our very first kiss… I guess it adds points to say that it was our last kiss… I didn't know that would happen, Hikari. I'd like to apologize. And I wish it would make it better.
Giggling softly, Hikari slid her hand into her boyfriend's. They were walking back towards the apartment buildings after a couple hours of staring at the night sky and whispering their secrets. Before long, Takeru broke apart from their close walk, but kept his hand linked to hers.
"We have to part here, love." He said, slipping into adoring words.
"I wish we wouldn't." Hikari swung her arm gently, causing his arm to swing as well.
"I'll see you tomorrow…"
"But what will I do without you tonight?"
"Dream?"
"Dreams are so harsh… You have to wake up and realize that they are just a dream."
Takeru smiled faintly. "But it won't be a dream. Because when you awake tomorrow morning, I'll still be a phone call away." He pulled her close and kissed her on the forehead and then stepped back.
"I'll be waiting for your voice." She said in a whimper.
"And I'll be yearning for your touch."
They clasp in the arms around each other one last time and then went their separate ways.
If only I knew that jerks were roaming the streets that late at night. If only I had walked you home like I first implied. And if only you would've said "Yes, Takeru. Please walk me home." Then I would have given up my life instead of yours. I guess everything likes to smack me on the back of my head. Knowing you, you'd probably smack me too. Please forgive me.
Takeru sat up and glanced out the window. The night before was so clear and starry. But the day following after had left its shine behind. Dark cumulous clouds filled every part of the sky. It was strange seeing such a change in the heavens so quickly. He slipped off his bed and ran his fingers through his hair with a smile on his face. Even though the day was cloudy, his spirits were high and shining from the light that Hikari gave him.
"Mom?" he called out as he wondered the small apartment. Soon after his search ended, his mother entered the door. Her eyes were shifting with panic.
"Takeru,"
"Mom, what's wrong?"
"Hikari, she's…"
Takeru's bright face faded into a worried frown.
"Last night," his mother began again; "she was outside late at night and was walking home supposedly……"
Her words started to fade as Takeru's eyes etched tears in the corners.
The words my mother said must be false. That's what I thought at the time. It couldn't be my angel whom I said the most powerful words just last night. Not the girl I kissed just last night to prove my love. I wished so much that the news was just a cruel prank and that you were just trying to get me back for something I did. But no… a jackass with cruel intentions shot down your angelic wings. Why wasn't I there to hold you in my arms and say that everything would be okay? And I wasn't there to save you from that murderer?
Takeru sat still and pale-faced in a cold and sterile office. It had been an hour since he heard the news and he couldn't even push out his feelings to shed a tear. But his eyes made out every single emotion he was feeling. A young and almost unprofessional looking nurse stepped in and spoke to Hikari's parents and Taichi.
"…Her last words were something about a family she loved and a boy she didn't want to leave." She said sadly.
Takeru's white face turned cold and he felt a gross feeling in his stomach. "A boy she didn't want to leave…" he thought to himself. Acknowledging the fact that Hikari meant him; Takeru finally reached the point where he could cry freely. His tears slid out from his eyes and his body slumped over the side of the chair. He already missed his angel.
Ironic how we were planning out our lives and deciding which college to go to just before the night we parted. And this is how I got here. Not here in my life, but here at your grave. You're probably looking down at me as I write this. I'd look back up, but I'm afraid I'd start to cry when I don't see your face peering down upon me. I'm just letting you know that I'm following through to our promise. Merry Christmas, Hikari. I'll spend it here with you.
"Merry Christmas!" a group of people cried out as Takeru walked out of his room. Dark circles were under his eyes and he looked a bit thinner than usual. It was because of his loss that made him look weak. The others were a combined group of his family and Hikari's. A couple of his friends were there as well. But he didn't pay any attention to them. Takeru was fully dressed for the cold weather outside and he made his way to the door with a slight amount of money in his hand.
"Takeru," Yamato tried to stop him. "Where're you going?"
"Nowhere." Takeru said and left the door. Before anyone could catch Takeru again, he was down the elevator and outside. While walking towards the cemetery, he stopped by to purchase a small helium balloon and two roses, one white, one red. He arrived shortly in the cold place. It felt sickening just to enter this place.
The blond walked on a stone path with grass on either side of it and then turned to the right to walk underneath a leafless tree. Kneeling down to the headstone, he removed the dead grass and leaves from the stone. He then set the roses down in front of it and took out a piece of paper and a black ink pen. After another look at the name and date and inscription, (the writing was combined by Taichi's words and Takeru's,) the boy sat down and started to write on that paper.
I'll never forget you, love. Nor will I forget our memories. I just wish I could talk to you once more and hold you in your arms. I wish that I could see your smile that never left your face. I wish it was I instead of you that stepped in front of that weapon that took your life. And I wish I never let you go. Hikari, I hope that you forgive me and my cruel actions. It's my entire fault and I feel guilty. But I'll wait for your appearance again and to feel your touch. I'll be waiting for my angel. Please be waiting for me too.
Sincerely yours,
Takeru "T.K." Takaishi
The letter was placed in an envelope with the name 'Hikari' written neatly in bold, black letters. Takeru tied the note to the balloon and nearly closed it. He then remembered one last thing and took the letter out again. With a final few words signed onto it, he sealed it and looked up at the sky.
"Hikari…" he said gently and let go of the balloon. Watching it until he could no longer see, Takeru then closed his eyes to remember his love's face. The last thing he wrote on his letter to Hikari read:
P.S. I love you…
I know it's not really a tearjerker. I'm not really in the mood to write one… But to clear things up (if you had any questions) Hikari was shot by the every-day wacko and was found by um, a witness that heard the gunshot. The stranger called the hospital and such but Hikari died before she got there. So um… Takeru wanted to carry out with his promise that they made each other and he did. (Note: Hikari died in the month of September and he visited her in December. ^-^) And… if you wanted to know, the inscription was' Hikari: An angel above all with wisdom beyond her years. Your family and loved ones will see you again. So until then, keep a smile on your face.' Cheesy, I know. But please don't flame on this. I just got stuck on writing humors that I couldn't get a tearjerker out. ~.~ Sorry, everyone. ~HT
