F*R*I*E*N*D*S

The One With All The Fruitcake

Everyone was at Monica and Chandler's aparment. "So Monica, what are you planning to make this year for Christmas? Anything speical?" Joey asked.

"Yeah, I don't know. I was thinking, that maybe this year I could give something out to all my family and friends. Like cookies or candy or something. I'll find something." Monica answered.

"Yeah, well, my grandma, when she was alive that is, had been complaning about people smelling in the elvator and stuff and so, she gave out home-made deodrant. Don't do that. No one got it and everyone ended up all offensed." Phoebe said and then shrugged.

"Go figure!" Chandler said.

"Well, cookies sound good." Ross started, "Everyone loves cookies."

"Yeah but, you can have cookies anytime." Monica said.

"Oh Mon! Didn't your grandma used to make this incredible fruitcake?!" Rachel exclaimed.

Monica suddenly remembered as Rachel said the words, "Oh yes! You know what, I think I have that recipe!" Monica ran into the bedroom and opened the closet. Then, mintutes later she came out with a card in her hand. "Go it!"

**Later Phoebe, Ross, Rachel, and Joey were at the coffee house**

"Yeah, and after we ate, he reached over and pulled out one of my hairs and started flossing with it." Phoebe told everyone decribing her date last night.

"Wow Phobes I cannot believe that!" Joey said. "What kind of apes are you dating?"

"Oh, I don't know." Phoebe said taking it seriously, "My Uncle did that once."

"Okay so," Ross said trying to ingnor what she had said, "What's up with you Rach? You and Tag-your-it!" Ross said laughing at his own pathtic joke.

"Yeah, funny. We went on our first offical date last night. Went well I might add." Rachel answered.

Just then Monica and Chandler walked in. "Hey guys! I just sent out all of the fruitcake. They should be there in days." Monica pulled out 5 small packages of fruitcake out of her bag. "And there is one for each of you!"

"Oh yes!" Joey said sarcasticly.

Monica gave one to each of them and they each took a bite. "Ummm..." They all said.

"Good?!" Monica asked.

"Yeah, they're pretty good." Joey said. Everyone agreed with him.

"Good because I've sent out about 100 of'em. One to everyone I know." Monica said.

Just then Phoebe looked at Monica strangly as she said, "Monica, I know that I went through this stage when I only wanted to wear one earing too but that was years ago. Don't you think that you're a little old for that stage?"

"What are you talking about?" Monica asked.

"Oh yeah, she's right. You're only wearing one earing." Chandler said.

Monica felt her ear and said, "Oh my gosh! Oh my gosh! What if they're in the fruitcake?!"

"Oh honey the chances of that are-" Chandler started but was interuppted by Monica.

"I remember having them before the guy came to take the fruitcake to send out. But after that I never looked in there mirror. Oh my gosh they're in the fruitcake!!" Monica freaked.

"-or someone could be eating it right now." Chandler finshed.

"Well, they might not have been sent down yet. Why don't you try and find the delievery guy?" Rachel suggested.

"Yes! Yes! I gotta do that!" Monica yelled and grabbed her coat.

**Mintutes later everyone were out catching UPS trucks tracking the foul fruitcake**

"Thanks anyway." Phoebe said to the guy as he drove away. They had paired up at the coffee house and Ross and Rachel went looking toward the west, Phoebe and Joey to the other, and Chandler and Monica over by the apartment.

"Well, maybe Monica had some luck." Joey said.

"Yeah, I hope." Phoebe said. "Or else 'little Jimmy is gonna need caps for his teeth for Christmas after biting into Monica's earing.'" Phoebe said sarcasticly in a high-pitched voice.

"They could already be back. Let's go back to the apartment." Joey said.

"Yep." Phoebe answered.

When they got back to the aprament Everyone else was already there. Along with about 500 cases of fruitcake.

"Whoa! Mon I thought that you only made 100 or somthing?" Joey asked.

"Yeah, it's Christmas time Joey. Do you know how many cases of fruitcake are being delievered?" Chandler answered.

"Ahh..." Joey said realizing.

"So, hungry?" Monica asked. "Because we got years worth of fruitcake here. What are we going to do with all this freakin' fruitcake?!"

"Well, anyone wanna build a fort and play cowboys and indians?" Ross suggested.

"I call cowboy!" Chandler said ofter a mintute or too.

"Oo! Oo! Can I be the princess Tiger Lily?" Phoebe said with much grace.

So there they were, Christmas eve, playing like 7 year olds in piles of fruitcake.

Hey, who are we to judge?

~End