Keaton: Hello and welcome
to "Who Wants to be a Millionaire?" Let see who our contestants are: Link from
Kokiri Forest, Princess Zelda from Hyrule, Wufei Chang from Colony L5, Heero
Yuy from Colony L1, Duo Maxwell from Colony L2, Destin Faroda from Zenobia,
Edge from Eblana, Vincent Valentine from Nibelheim, Squall Leonhart from
Balamb, and Irvine Kinneas from Galbadia. Now for the first fastest finger
question. Put these songs in the order that you learn them from Sheik: A)
Nocturn of Shadow B) Serenade of Water C) Minuet of Forest D) Bolero of
Fire.
Zelda: Yes.
Keaton: Ok, here is the first question: Who is the true identity of Sheik? A)…
Zelda: Me, final answer.
Keaton: Um…ok.
Zelda: I would like a 50/50.
Keaton: Ok, the two answers left are B and D.
Zelda: Well, he doesn't look like a warlock so I will say D, final answer.
Keaton: Correct.
Zelda: What's with all
the questions from other games?
Link: But I want to play.
Zelda: Fine, but the wedding is off!
Link: Fine, I like Malon anyway!
Zelda: WHAT?!?!?!?!
Link: You heard me!
Zelda: AAAAAAUUUUUUUGGGGGGHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!! (Zelda storms off stage)
Keaton: Um…ok…we'll go to a commercial.
Commercial:
Hi, I'm Cid
Highwind from Final @#$^&% Fantasy VII.
Keaton: Welcome
back.
Destin: Always.
Keaton:
Ok…First question.
Destin: Four of course, final answer.
Keaton: Correct. Next question. Which character is Saradin especially attached to A)…
Destin: Aisha, final answer.
Keaton: Um…yeah.
(Later at the $500,000 question)
Destin: D, final answer.
Keaton: Correct, now for
the $1,000,000 question.
Destin: I would like to phone a friend.
Keaton: Ok, who?
Destin: My childhood friend, Princess Garnet.
Keaton: Ok, we will get her on the line.
Garnet: Hello?
Keaton: Yes, this is
Keaton from "Who Wants to be a Millionaire?"
Destin: Who says 'Mmmm, soft' in Final Fantasy IX? A) Cecil B) Cid C) Seifer D) Zidane.
Garnet: That pervert Zidane after he pinched my butt!
Destin: Thanks. D, final answer.
Keaton: He's just won a million dollars!
Destin: Who wants to step to this?
Heero: (stands up) I will.
Seifer: (to Fujin and Raijin) (snaps fingers) Put him on 'the list.'
Keaton: Congratulations,
but we have to go to our next fastest finger question.
Squall: ………..
Keaton: Ok…first question. Who gives Seifer his scar? A) Squall B) Selphie C) Zell D) Quistis.
Squall: ………..
Keaton: Do you have a guess?
Squall: ……….me.
Keaton: Is that your final answer?
Squall: ………..yes.
Keaton: Correct.
Squall: ………….D …………..final answer.
Keaton: Correct, next
question.
Squall: ……….A………final
Keaton: Correct.
Zelda: That's not
fair!!!
Wufei:
Zelda:
Wufei: No, woman.
Zelda: RRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!! (storms off stage)
Commercial:
Fujin: BUY…FINAL…FANTASY…NINE!!!
Seifer:
Zell: Hey!
Seifer: Shut up or I'll give you a scar like Squall's only in a different place!
Zell: RRRRRRR!!!!!!
(Later at $1,000,000 question)
Keaton: Ok, now for
$1,000,000.
Squall: (goes into concentration frown that only he does) (glances over at Rinoa in audience and sees her mimicking him) (shoots Heero like icy glare towards her) (Rinoa begins to laugh and falls out of her chair)
Keaton: Would you like to use a lifeline?
Squall: I won't have
it!
Quistis: …13 years. (begins to laugh and falls out of chair)
Squall: D……final answer
Keaton: Correct, you've just won $1,000,000!
Squall: (Whatever)
Seifer: (to Fujin and Raijin) (snaps fingers) Put him on 'the list.'
Keaton:
Duo: Yeah!
Keaton: Ok, first
question.
Duo: Well, Heero could technically be the god of death but I am the one and only. D, final answer.
Keaton: Correct.
Duo: Definitely that little brat Mariemaia, final answer.
Keaton: Correct, next question…
(Later at the $32,000 question)
Keaton: Alright if you get this question right you will leave here with no less than $32,000.
Duo: Alright!
Keaton: Here's the question. Who is the 125th Pokemon? A) Dragonite B) Aerodactyl C) Electabuzz D) Jynx.
Duo: Alright, a Pokemon
question!
Keaton: Scary, but correct.
Duo: Yes, $32,000 baby!
Keaton: Next
question.
Duo: Whoa, this is a
toughie!
Keaton: Ok… the two answers left are A and D.
Duo: Great just the two I
was debating between.
Keaton: Ok…the audience is 50% A and 50% D.
Duo: What a help.
Keaton: Ok, who would you like to call?
Duo: I will call Galstaff "Sorcerer of Light."
Keaton: Ok…(phone rings)
Galstaff: Hello?
Keaton: Hello, this is
Keaton from "Who Wants to be a Millionaire?" We have Duo on the line who is
trying for $64,000, and he needs your help.
Duo: Who casts "Magic Missle?" Faeries or Sorceress Edea?
Galstaff: (in background)
(Where are the "Cheetos?")
Keaton: I'm sorry but time's up.
Duo: AAAHHHHHH!!!!!!! I'll just take the @$#%*& money!!!
Keaton: Would you like to take a guess?
Duo: NO!!!
Keaton: Let's go to a commercial.
Commercial:
Hi, I'm
Matron.
Keaton: Let's go to our
next fastest finger question.
Irvine: OH YEAH!!!
Keaton: Are you ready to play?
Irvine: Yeah.
Keaton: Ok…first question. Which is the best GF in Final Fantasy VIII? A) Bahamut B) Gyarados C) Ifrit D) Eden.
Irvine: That's not my department.
Keaton: Well, what is your department?
Irvine: Guns and women.
Keaton: Great.
Irvine: I want a different question.
Keaton: I'm sorry, but I can't do that.
Irvine: Well then I'm outta here.
Keaton: Don't you want to win some money?
Irvine: Guess not.
Keaton: Well that's all
the time we have for today.
End notes:
The writer
'Sephiroth Strife' is my brother so the first commercial and main idea for the
fanfic obviously came from him.
