"He hurt you." Dean said for what felt like the hundredth time. He couldn't help it. It was a running loop in his head: 'He hurt Cas. He hurt Cas. He hurt Cas.'. How could that bastard hurt Cas? He was his friend but more than that –he was his best friend, practically his only friend but still. . .Castiel was much more than that, he had saved him a number of times, pulled him out of hell, fallen for him – how the fuck could he hurt him!?

But then it hit him. The one that had hurt Cas wasn't just a he. . .it had been him. His future self to be exact. . .but it was still him, wasn't it.

"I'm fine, I told you –it's not the first time it went like that and it won't be the last." Castiel told Dean as he pulled the damp cloth away from his mouth. He looked at the seething blond. It was hard. Seeing the past Dean –in many ways the real Dean, the one he had fallen from Heaven for. . .the one he had fallen for, and in return had fallen for him too at some point along the way. He had to look away from the past version of Dean, out of fear he would do something stupid.

Dean shot out of his seat, pacing around the room agitated. "It wasn't him. It was me. I hurt you Cas. It was me. Well, it's going to be me. I'm gonna hurt you just like he-just like that – I'm gonna push you down and-and-and I'm gonna ra-,"

"Dean." Castiel said almost harshly, his voice leaving no room for argument. He looked at the man. "There's two things you need to understand –one: that's not what that was. What you saw wasn't ra-," Even he couldn't bring himself to say that word in the same sentence as referring to Dean –even if it was his Dean, and not past Dean. "It wasn't that. That's just how we have sex more times than not nowadays. . ." He shrugged looking at past Dean, remembering how their sexual encounters had once been. . .and waiting for the man in front of him to freak out.

"We-," Dean tried to speak but he couldn't get anything out straight away. He had to wrap his head around what he'd just heard. He swallowed thickly, pointing between him and future Cas. "We have sex?"

"Yes, quite frequently."

Dean had to look away, Cas had answered so easily. "So what, we end up going steady in the future?"

"I guess, but neither one of us called it that," Castiel laughed. "well we were at one point and then. . ."

Dean watched Castiel sigh and shrug his shoulders, staring at some point on the cabin's wall. He wanted to ask Cas what happened, if things went wrong because of him. . .because if he was honest with himself, he had been thinking about Cas differently for a little while now. He just couldn't admit it –well, he probably could to this pill popping hippy Cas, but not to his stick up the arse Castiel. "So what's two?"

Castiel blinked twice before focusing on Dean, a soft sad look on his face. "And two: you are not him."

Dean's eyes widened in confusion and shock. "W-what?"

"He is future Dean and you're past Dean –you are both completely different people." Castiel smiled, shaking his head. "Trust me, I know."

"But I'm gonna turn into him."

"But you're not him yet."

"But I'm gon-,"

"Dean, thinking about this whole past and future you is going to hurt your head. Just don't even try to work it out just let it be –he is him, and you are you."

Dean let out a defeated sigh and slumped into one of the chairs. "But I'm gonna hurt you."

Castiel shook his head, a small smile on his face. "You really are so different. Do you know the first time it happened like that. . .he didn't stop apologising for a whole week. And then it slowly turned to where it was like that all the time, there's the odd time when it isn't -when it's like it first was. . .soft, sweet, huh loving. . ." He shook his head again and looked away from past Dean.

"Why?" Dean asked, slumping further into the chair. "Why did it. . .change?"

Castiel smiled softly, quickly, before it disappeared. He shrugged. "Everything changed. I turned Human. Sam. . .left. You became hard, inside and out. We just. . .changed."

"What?" Dean asked, frowning deeply. "That's it? You're not going to go into detail? Tell me how to change it. I don't want to hurt you, Cas, I definitely don't want to end up raping you every time we have sex!"

"I told you it's not lik-,"

"Well, it sure as hell looked like that when I saw him push you down and shove his dick up your ass!" He yelled angrily. Why didn't this Cas get it? He didn't want to hurt him like that. Not ever.

Castiel stood from his seat, frowning down at past Dean. "I told you it isn't like that. You changed. He couldn't cope with everything, so do you know how he dealt with not coping? The odd time he'd-you'd get me to top –he didn't want to be in charge, he just wanted to go with it. Sometimes he'd tell me he loved me. But most of the time, sex was rough. . .and it just got to the stage where I didn't always like it, but do you know why I never told him to stop?" He paused and waited to see how Dean reacted. Past Dean was just staring at him, worried and confused and hurt and scared. "Because I love him and that was what he needed, so I let him do whatever he wants, when he wants."

It took Dean a few moments to speak. "What are you, stupid?"

Cas laughed.

"It's not funny." Dean told him, frowning as he stood up, staring back at future Castiel. "I saw you. When I looked through the door, you looked at me and. . .you were crying." He said quietly, knowing he was –or rather would be- the reason future Cas was so fucked up.

Cas had to look away. "I was. . .that was because you weren't supposed to see."

"What?"

"I remember exactly what you –he- was like. . .I knew how you'd react if you saw what you became. I knew you'd hate it. And at your point in time, you already hate yourself enough as it is."

"What? I don't-why the hell are you defending him-me!?"

"Because I love him. I told you." Castiel told him, and then looked towards the door. "It's almost time to go."

"So what do I do? How don't I change into him?"

Castiel could see how worried Dean was. He truly didn't want to be future Dean. And if truth be told, he didn't want him to be either. He shrugged. "I don't know. Just. . .be you, I guess."

"That's really shitty advice, Cas."

Castiel smiled a self-loathing smile and shrugged. "If I couldn't help my Dean, why do you think I'd be able to help you?"

Dean watched future Cas tilt his head and it was such a Cas move, he wanted to smile but that smile on Cas' face wasn't something his Castiel did. . .this wasn't his Castiel. The guy in front of him was a different person, and the guy that had hurt this Cas was a different guy. . .it wasn't him. "I. . .I'm not going to be him. I can't be, Cas. I get that he couldn't cope, but man. . .I ain't coping now, but I'm not gonna go back home and hurt my Cas-, w-what's with that smile?"

"You said my Cas."

"Err-yeah, well, erm," Dean stumbled over his words, but shut up when Cas' smile just widened. "anyway, I'm not going to start hurting Cas. I'm not gonna be that bastard!"

"What bastard?"

Dean and future Cas looked towards the door. He glared at the future Dean standing in the door way, gun in hand. "What the hell do you want, we're talking."

Future Dean walked into the cabin, closer to his past self –he noticed the way Cas tensed, as if expecting him to hit his past self. "I don't care what y' doing, get out. You wanted to be part of getting to Lucifer, we're having a meeting, go find Chuck."

Past Dean looked to Cas –who nodded at him- before walking out of the cabin, but staying close to the door. He wasn't going to let Cas get hurt again, even if this Cas wasn't his.

Cas' eyes were locked with future Dean's as he got closer to him and put his gun on the table, leaning over him and looking down at him. "What's up with you?"

"What were y' talking about?"

Cas looked towards the door, his eyes locking with past Dean's –huh, the old one was still worried about him. That made him smile. Future Dean tended not to care about anything nowadays, especially him. He looked back to his Dean before reaching up and pressing a chaste kiss to his lips. "He isn't you."

"What the hell does that mean?"

Cas stood up, pushing his Dean out of his way. "Interpret it however the hell you want. I'm going to help past you find Chuck. And then we'll go stop Lucifer, something we haven't done since he was released but hey, I'm sure this week's when we finally get him." He said with a sarcastic tone to his voice and expression. He smiled at past Dean as he left the cabin, grabbing his arm and pulling him along.

Future Dean stared after the two, angrily.


"That's pretty nice timing, Cas." Dean couldn't help but stare at Castiel.

Castiel smiled lightly. "We had an appointment."

How could he turn into someone who would hurt Cas? The Angel was his best friend. He couldn't imagine ever hurting him, especially not like he'd seen his future self do. Basically raping Cas was once thing. . .but sending him to die was another thing entirely. He was never going to be that guy. He'd rather kill himself first.

He smiled and put his hand on Cas' shoulder. "Don't ever change." 'Because I'm not going to.' He promised himself and an unknowing Castiel.


End!

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