Story: Research Gone Totally Wrong

Summary: Jiraiya's "research" goes terribly wrong. How so? Read and find out...

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto...


Some Random Bar

It was late, past midnight to be exact. Jiraiya at, sulking over his past attempt at having a date with Tsunade. After being silent for close to five minutes, He heaved a loud sigh. 'That darn Tsunade... Where the hell could she have possibly developed such strength?' he mused. But, before he could come up with a reasonable explanation, he caught a glimpse of the most beautiful shade of long blond hair he'd ever seen. It was nearly white.

His normal perverted expression appeared on his face, as he turned to face them. Unfortunately, the person had their back to him, so he couldn't see what this beautiful woman really looked like.

"Hey there, beautiful, I didn't even see you come in. What's your name?" he asked. The person looked at him, glaring with great intensity. Jiraiya suddenly frowned frowned a rather disturbing frown, making his disappointment obvious to everyone around him. This "woman" was actually a man that was probably in his seventies. His hair, in the back, was indeed long, but in the front, he was bald, and had a permanent burn mark in that same area. His nose was crooked, and his eye was just slightly higher than the other.

He also a straight-haired beard. Not to mention the fact that his face was covered in wrinkles. To Jiraiya, this was, by far, the ugliest human he'd ever seen.

"Did you just called me a woman?" he questioned. The Toad Sage laughed nervously.

"Uh... I... It's just..." he stammered, trying to come up with a valid excuse, but stopped, when he heard the older man cracking his knuckles. He towered over little Jiraiya, with a dark and diabolical expression on his face.

'Uh oh...' Jiraiya thought, as he already knew exactly what was coming next...

Outside of the bar...

SLAM!

BANG!

CRASH!

"AGGGGGG!"

POW!

"OUCH!"

BOOM!

CRACK!

RIP!

"OOUF!"

ZOOP!

"MOO!"

"THAT HURT'S!"

"WAIT! WHERE THE HELL DID BULL COME FROM?!"

"WHY MEEEEEEEE!?"

After it was all said and done, Jiraiya had learned one lesson; Never, I repeat, NEVER assume someone's a woman without being for certain. Otherwise, you may never be heard from again...

~ End of story ~


A/N: What'd ya think? Hope you like it! Review :)