Spooky's Jump Scare M- OH LOOK IT'S BILL CIPHER

Chapter 1: Northwest Mansion Enema

Beginning AN:

So I had the idea for a while but I started it because of a dream I had the night before starting it. That kind of involved Spooky's but also a bit of this fan fic too.

...Which I think makes that as the first time in a long time that I've had a dream about a fan work (or, in this case, a fan work idea, since it wasn't made yet) and remembered some of it. But it was something pretty simple.

Right, so this will only have five chapters total, so it'll be one of the shorter projects. Like Gumball Vs Satan.

Welcome to SBIG! This is a series of purposefully badly done stories that care very little with making sense or trying to add any emotional impact. Or... that's the intent. This is sort of like a bad attempt at comedy. Now, two things I try to avoid with this when comparing the installments to other fics done bad on purpose. One is making them unreadable (but this... admittedly wasn't always a major focus of mine). Two is that this isn't going to get... too disgusting. Well, it might in some stories, but it won't rely on grossout factors as an entertainment value, and even the ones that do teeter into uncomfortable territory won't be trying to really 'outdo' other fics that do this. The only thing I try to trump myself in is the plot's stupidity. Not how hard it is to read it, and not how disgusted (or infuriated for that matter) you will be by it.


PReston Northwest was a jackass. He was ringing a bell and telling his daughter Pacifica, "I'm afriad that this dress is not good for the party."

But then suddenly there was shaking! He looked out the window and saw a strange house on the hill (it didn't start in Gravity Falls as said later, this is just a reference to the house locations) that had robo-legs and robo-arms, and was coming towards the Northwest house! Then, on the TV, there was a screen of Spooky.

"Hello. I am Spooky. The time to wait for investigators has ended. I must add an artifact from Gravity Falls to my collection of horror. After all, I heard of this all the way from Wisconsin, and I must have at least one haunted artifact."

"Go away." Preston said like a jackass.

"There's a ghost in your house that hates you."

"Hoo boy! A ghost?" He was shocked.

"Yes. One... that has a grudge on you. And for the record, I am not talking about myself. I have no feelings to such a feeble mind as yourself."

"We need a ghostbuster. But who... that Dipper kid who fought a vampire bat."

I'm gonna skip all the uninteresting stuff since you've seen it in canon. Instead, here's a new theme song I think that'll make GF more hip. Dipper rapped:

Now this is the story all about how,
My life got twisted upside-down.
And I'd only take a minute, don't leave at all.
I'll tell you why I'm in the small town of Gravity Falls.

In Piedmont, CA, born and raised,
The house is just where I spent most of my days.
Chillin' all relaxin' all cool and all reading up paranormals outside of the school.
When a coupla guys who were up rto no good! Starting making trouble in the neighborhood!
I got in one li'l fight and my mom got scared, she siad
"You're moving with your great uncle to get some fresh air!"

Anyway that was Dipper's intro. he also got Mabel along with him, and Pacifica felt like doing something major or something, I don't really know I just want all three of them to confront Spooky's Jumpscare house.


Inside was... well, not very spooky. Althought that ghost from before appeared.

"Hello there, three victims to horrible agonizing pain!" She cheered. "I am Spooky. Welcome to this house of DEATH!"

Dipper laughed because she looked like this cartoony little girl ghost.

"You laugh, but that is what angers me! I want to be taken seriously! I am a threat! Go forth and see! CCan you make it through all 1000 rooms without shitting yourselves in fear?"

So uh, they did. They went on foreward through the house, and just got jumpscare pop-outs made out cartboard.

"Aw, it's cute!" Said Mabel. "Why did we go through this again?"

"Preston promised to pay me two thousand bucks, a swimming pool plated with gold, a statue made of diamond, and a horse."

"What are you doing to do with the horse?"

"Hey, you have a pig. Anyway, also Pacifica is kind of cute- OH NO DID I REALLY SAY THAT?"

Mabel thought that this suspicious place confirmed to be haunted with an evil ghost would be the perfect place to play matchmaker, so she thinks this will be a good time for cute Dipifica moments.

Because she's fucking weird. I think she does drugs.

"Okay, I've got to set them up and confress that they really like eachother!" Cheered Mabel. "Hrm..."

But then the time to laugh at cardboard cutouts was over! REAL horrors started happening! Enter Speciment 2, the... zombie? I don't know. It spat out some kind of slow-goop, but the trio ran away and was panting and exhausted, making it to the next door.

"Okay, that thing looked like it could actually kill us." Said Dipper. "I guess we need to actually be careful. It was slow, but there might be something fast."

Suddenly, Specimen 3! The faster spider was crawling after them!

"DID WE BRING A WEAPON?" Asked Dipper.

Mabel looked inside her sweater and only found collone for Dipper to make it so that he doesn't smell like sweeat on their date.

"NO WE DIDN'T!"

"then why?" He shouted at the top of his lungs.

"BECAUSE... um, I know karate!"

She kicked Specimen 3 and it just scurred back.


So Mabel was feeling guilty as they kept going on, occasionally Specimen 1 would pop up and actually startled Dipper some times, but Mabel kept laughing and PAcifica was just getting annoyed. Specimne 2 and 3 would still go after them as well. Eventually, they came to a school-looking place.

Okay, let's back up a little bit and go outside of the mansion for a while.

In the arcade, there were these Bill culists. Because of symbolism, they were kind of dressed like the blind eyes, but the opposite. This means they wore green instead of red, has eyes that were not crossed out but circled (making it look like they had more rings of eyes or something like that, it just looked weird instead of cool like the blind eyes), and instead of robes that covered everything but their faces and hands they only wore gloves and a mask and nothing else.

"OMLEDUE FROMAJE! OMLEDUE FROMAJE! OMLEDUE FROMAJE!" They chanted. I got the chant from Dexter I have no idea what it means.

Anyway, they ended up summoning Bill. But he was on a couch watching a crystal ball that showed some guy drawing graphs. Bill was really into that for some reason but they he turned around noticed the cultists and covered the screen. (Gettig Carp Past the Radar!)

"AH!" He shouted. "I WAS... UMM..." He grabbed his hat and used it like a remote and an antenna, which switched the channels to some shitty reality TV. Kim Kardashan and Tony Hawk in a skating competition.

"OH GREAT BILLIS CIPHERIS!" Shouted the leader of the culists. "WE WANT YOU TO BE WORSHIPPED BY US!"

"Well uh... I appreciate that but... you're naked and weird. And I'm technically one third naked fai- nevermind. Well, anyway, now that I'm here anyway, I might as well go over and mess with Pine Tree and ShootingStar's dreams again. Oh wait... I can smell them... right now, for some reason, they've in some weird haunted house that apparently you can't escape from. Anyway, bye, this sounds interestng."

He floated away. The cultists woke up and had no idea what to think of this.

"Shit." The leader said. "I have no idea what to think of this."

Meanwhile, the electrcity involved was sent to the Arcade and in fight Fighters... which was bringing .GIFfany out and she found that she could go through elecrtronics now!

"HA ha, Rumble, I will be leaving you to see new sights!"

":(" Rumble replied.

"But... I feel like I only have 24 hourse before this wears off, and I will be stuck in whatever electronic I am in forever. First... those stupid kids ruined my relationship with Soos. I feel like getting back at them anyway. I can sense where they are - I dreamed about a triangle following them, and I can sense the trail. I am going after them!"

"Who are you?" A cultist asked .GIFfany.

"Not important to your life. And you are not important to my life!"


Inside the manor, on a television screen .GIFfany appeared, and she saw Specimen 4 first. For fanservice, Specimen 4 was in that concept art image where she went after the player nude isntead of in those ghost robes.

"Hey." .GIFfany said. "Psst. Naked ghost lady. Could I maybe... do some Grudge stuff to get in your body?" There sure are a lot of naked characters in this story, aren't there?

"I FEAST HUMAN CHILDREN AND SHIT OUT THEIR HAPPYNESS!" Specimen 4 said, showing that these monsters are way edgier than the Gravity Falls monster.s (not until I fan fic-ize them... yeah, no rating restrictions here! Except I want this to be T.)

"I will take that as a yes. Oh yeah, and for some reason, my coding cannot get out of this house. Some times I feel like I hit an invisible wall. Other times it is like I just get teleported to another place. And this ghost girl keeps laughing at me... she says this is an endless maze for souls..."

She jumped in to Specimen 4 and kinda leeched off some of her ghostyness or whatever, which resulted in .GIFfany getting this kind of temporary physical form from her. Temporary. Maybe she'll get a permanent one later.

"Thank you."

"I MUST FEAST!" Specimen 4 replied.

Anyway, around the corner Dipper asked "DID YOU HEAR THAT?"

"Yeah, duh." Said Mabel.

Also, they heard Bill coughing too. Just after that. They found him and everything WASN'T gray!

"WHAT?" Bill asked. "I suddenly became physical, but I have VERY LITTLE POWERS and I can't get out of this stupd house! How come your scent can get out but not my MEGA POOWER? Oh wait I was smelling a trail you were constantly leaving before you actually went INSIDE, nevermind, plot hole averted!"

"Hi there tiny enemies!" .GIFfany cheered. She was there too!o "Prepare for a revenge!"

"So Bill, I knew you made this house!" Dipper accused. "And that ghost girl was just a lie!"

"WHAT? NO I DIDN'T! I'M TRAPPED HERE! YOU KNOW THERE'S OTHER SUPERNATURALS BECIDES ME AND I'M NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR EVERYTHING! LIKE THOSE OVER THRE!"

He pointed to .GIFfany and Specimen 4. .GIFfany waved, but punched out Spec 4.

"So... don't tell me we have to work together to get out of here..." said Dipper with a gulp.

"YEAH THAT SOUNDS LIKE FUN!" Cheered Mabel. "WORKING WITH BILL!"

Also shoot. this fic just became that thing where the first chapter is basically just the summary... uh, promise there'll be more on the next chapters! Including plot twists!


Closing AN:

I kind of rushed this just to get one little extra thing out before the end of the year... and to keep 2016 as the sort-of "Year of .GIFfany" along the same lines as the "Year of Luigi" and "Year of Yoshi." Since... this was the year that I did the bulk of and concluded run:gifocalypse, with the first two chapters being the only ones to come out prior.

I guess this also means that, because of my own sort-of rules, I kind of pushed Housestuck: The Split to a 2017 release instead of possibly procrastinating it for 2018... hrm...