Dean couldn't find his new Metallica zippo lighter that he had just bought from a gas station a few miles back. You rarly found old rock lighters in places like gas stations anymore. Usually you'd get a selection of the usual peace signs, cherries, wolves or some other gay shit like that. He looked underneath every seat, in his duffle in the back seat. His brother knew better than to take his stuff, and besides, Sam kind of hated Metallica. Well, it wouldn't hurt to check.

"Sam," Dean yelled across the parking lot, as Sam was returning from the office after he had checked them out.

"Yeah," Sam hollered back.

"Where's my metallica lighter?"

"I don't know, did you double check under the seats," Sam asked, returning to his normal volume, as he had reached the car by now.

"Yep."

"Well, I didn't take it." Sam said, with a slight defensive attitude.

"I didn't say you did. Hey, do you think I left it in the room?"

"Nope, I triple quadruple checked that place. We didn't leave anything behind."

"Maybe I should check the trunk," Dean said, as he moved to the rear of the car.

He opened the weapons box, just in case he did some air head thing, and tucked it in one of the compartments next to a gun or something. Nope, not there. He searched in the other bags back there, but still nothing. He opened the last bag, which had a familiar tan piece of cloth on top. Dean lifted it out and it was Cas' trench coat. He had no idea why he had thought to search this little bag. All that was inside was a few things that Dean kept for keepsakes. There was a cracked and soot stained porclain angel from his old baby room, a couple old pictures, a beetles shirt of his mom's that he had found in the untouched laundry room of the burned down house, Sam's favorite old binky from when he was a baby, and the most recent addition, Cas' trench coat. Well, not anymore, since it was in his hand. Dean knew that it still had Jimmy's blood on the collar, and the inside of the sleeve. He had washed it himself, while Sammy had his twelve hour nap after the death of Cas. Dean looked at the damn thing, and got angry all over again. Why, Cas?

When Dean heard the car door slam as Sam got back out of the car, he quickly stuffed the jacket back in the bag, and closed the trunk.

"You okay, Dean?"

"Yeah," Dean lied.

Dean put his hand in his left pocket to retrieve his keys, when he had put them in the right. His fingers hit solid metal, and when he pulled the item out of his pocket he found his metallica lighter. He got into the car wearing a small smile, laughing at his own stupidity, and temporarily forgetting about the trench coat.

"Look what I found," he said to Sammy, holding up the item in his hand for his brother to see.

"Huh, where'd you find it?"

"Left jacket pocket," he said, as he turned the keys in the ignition, "I could have sworn I checked all my pockets before I went crazy searching the car."

Sam shrugged and said, "Well, now that you have it, let's get going. Monsters don't slay themselves."

That night, after the hunt, Sam snuck out to the car, to see what had distracted Dean yesterday, when he had gone searching the trunk for his lighter. He had already taken a peak at the bags in the room, but nothing had caught his eye. There were only a few things left in the trunk. A small bag caught his attemtion. He had already seen what was inside when Dean had died.

There was a lump in the bag that hadn't been there before. Sam unzipped the bag and came face to face with Cas' trench coat. He placed his hand on the coat, and bowed his head. He didn't know where Cas was, if he even still existed somewhere, but he went ahead and prayed anyway.

"Cas, I will never forgive you. I have to watch my brother have nightmares every night because of you. We have to clean up your mess now. My brother has been through enough! Its enough."

0-0-0-0

The bright being that had been Castiel, Angel of the Lord, became aware for the first time in a long time. He had been adrift in the bright light of other angels that had passed into this realm from the last. They were one, and many. They had no more sense of identity, and they couldn't remember their pasts. But one voice came to Cas and broke through the buzz in his mind. "Cas, I will never forgive you... My brother has been through enough! Its enough."

As Cas lay adrift amongst the sea of souls, seperate for the first time in a long time, he had a few stray thoughts. 'I am Castiel, Angel of the Lord,' and 'Dean... Who's Dean?'

Cas was about to let himself doze back into the bliss of oblivion again, but one more thing broke through his consciousness, a memory. He remembered the feel of a tired, broken vessel, and holding onto a powerful force inside him. He remembered the feel of cold concrete underneath his body.

"I feel regret about you and what I did to..."

He knew that the name he mentioned in the memory matched the voice that had called him back. He couldn't remember the name to go with the memory of the man. He could remember how his lips moved, but there was no sound to the movement, and he couldn't remember what sounds each movement was suppose to make.

The memory continued, "yeah, well you should."

"If there was time, if I was strong enough I'd- I'd fix him now. I just wanted to make amends before I die." That one was his voice.

"Okay."

There was a pause, then he asked, "Is it working?"

"Does it make you feel better," asked the other voice.

"No."

"You?"

"Not a bit."

Cas had a flash of the guy he was talking to in the memory, but then it was gone, and he had a hard time remembering the exact shade of his hair, and eyes. Brown was the word that came to mind, but that had no meaning to a man who couldn't easily recall anything from his life. All that he could remember clearly was the calling of the other angels who were trying to bring him back into the fold. Slowly, Cas spread out across the gap he had made to touch the entity beside him. Gabriel. His essance reached out to the other side. Anna.

Castiel came together with all the others, and lost himself again, but he was different from what he had been before. He knew his name. It was Cas. All the others knew that he was Cas, and saw that he had been and individual. They resented him for breaking the flow of eternal peace.

When Cas rejoined the collective, Anna had a recollection as well. She remembered the feeling of lips brushing against her own, in the softest of good-bye kisses. She remembered what it was like to be kissed, and she rejoiced in the feeling of it.