A/N: After being sucked into the South Park fandom once again, I bring you my first Creek fic.

Rated M: For strong language, violence, smut in later chapters and themes some people may find distressing. Nothing SP fans aren't used to.

(22/12/17): This story is now being revised as I write the last chapters. I noticed how much better the later chapters are and it's probably the only reason I'm keeping this fic up. Well, that and the fact that I've gained a lot more follows and favourites (thank you so much!) Enjoy your read :)


Chapter One

Approaching Him


I stared at the snow in astonishment. Cartman danced around me victoriously and pointed his fingers into the air, he sang to himself merrily to rub the fact he won against me in my face and piss me off; it was working.

"I can't believe it" I breathed. Crap, I'd never lost a bet before... Against Cartman of all people! I was beginning to worry for what penalty he would think up for me. Knowing him, it would be just as dreadful as the bet itself and trust me, this bet was something else. But against the point, how could I lose? Actually, how could I not lose? I didn't know Butters was actually going to put his finger… there. I thought Butters' naivety with his friends' genitals and asses were over. Clearly I was mistaken.

"You should believe it, Craig" Cartman accentuated my name coyly and I balled my fists in response. Token and Clyde who were with us wearily dragged me back a step in fear I'd punch the fatass' smile right off his face. I can't say I didn't want to.

"Oh Kinny, you're so gross" Cartman wheezed before patting his friend on the shoulder with honour. God knows where Butters had gone, probably squatting somewhere in shame after what he did to Kenny. It wasn't even Butters' finger a good inch up Kenny's rectum that lost me the bet, it was the fact Butters' believed the action would make him immortal that resulted in my demis. I really thought Butters wasn't as gullible as his younger self, logic failed me.

"Oi don't flip me off you dick hole, not my fault you're a sore loser" Cartman yelled. I didn't even realise I was flipping him off. "You just don't understand how wonderfully fucked up my friend is." He squeezed Kenny's shoulder appreciatively again.

"And you" I retorted; he shot me a discombobulated look of innocence and I rolled my eyes. "You're always getting guys to do gay things to each other so you can watch and make fun of it. The most fucked up person here is you, fatass."

Cartman gazed down at the snow for a long moment while kicking it between his feet and smiling to himself sheepishly. "You're right, Craig, I do like making you all do super gay things. That's why your penalty for losing against me is also going to be just as fantastically homo." He then looked up at me. "And if you do this correctly I'll give you my birthday money that you would have got if you won our initial bet."

"Why would you do that?" Token chimed in, he knew full well Cartman wasn't this generous.

Cartman walked towards us, leaned into my face and smirked ever so slightly "because just like you said, douche-bag, I'm a sick fuck and I like watching you be gay."

"You can't watch me be something I'm not" I growled.

"Sure, sure" he didn't seem wavered by my answer.

"What is it you want Craig to do?" Clyde asked "I'm curious." I shot him a look of annoyance when Cartman triumphantly began to explain.

"Tweek Tweak" Cartman began "that is what he'll do."

"Do? You mean… Cartman I'm not having sex with any guy that's ridiculous."

"He's not any guy though, you used to hang out with the spaz kid all the time."

"Yeah in elementary school. We're not friends anymore; It's been years and I don't care who it is, I'm not having sex with any dude I'm not gay you fucking-"

"Fine! Jesus Christ dude I only wanted to see you date the guy for a week. Small price to pay for two-hundred sweet ones, don't you think?"

I sighed and turned to Token and Clyde for any sign of approval. They didn't seem bothered but the whole situation didn't make sense. Why that one particular kid? And why dating? Was dating Tweek difficult or something? Because he's jittery? It's been over a year since I even talked to him and three since we hung out. It would be awkward, so incredibly awkward and the whole school is going to think I'm a faggot. I have chicks to impress, a reputation to maintain. If one person ever found out, I'd be as good as dead in the social world and my dad, oh god if my dad thought I was actually gay he'd flip.

All in all, something told me there was a bigger plan behind this, premeditated and finessed to Eric's perfection. I was unsure to go with my gut feeling or with my ego… I was afraid that the latter had a stronger pull.

"Dude, don't overthink it, you don't have to do Cartman's stupid dating" Token reminded me, clearly able to spot the panic.

"Don't try change his mind, Token, he's got too much pride to let me win this" Cartman snarled.

"I can see the cogs turning in your mind, Tucker, but really what is going to the movies with an old friend, maybe coffee or whatever anyway? For all my birthday money and more you're going out eating ice cream and playing video games for all I care. It's not about dating Tweek or being gay it's simply about duty. Or do you want me to rub my winnings in your face for the next week instead?" He had a good argument I had to admit. If I backed out, he'd get a generous chunk of my savings too.

It's just a date or two, screw it.

"Alright" I sighed "you better not be lying or I'll cut you." Cartman chuckled.

"I'll see you Monday then" he turned away and leaned towards Kenny to murmur "next week should be very interesting."


The following Monday I meandered into school very much aware of what had to be done today. I knew I could back out but the bitterness of losing was beyond my control and forcing me to do this, despite how hard it'd be to woo Tweek, considering our history.

I strolled to my locker and continued to ponder through debates my head. I hadn't thought about something this intensely for ages. It wasn't just the fact I had to pretend to love a boy, but that boy just had to be Tweek didn't it? Eric Cartman of course chose one of the most difficult parts of my past to push me back into. Maybe that's the real reason the bet felt so challenging, even for the wad of money I was promised.

Tweek was… He was great but me being the "apathetic idiot," I quote, lost him as a friend and there's only so many times someone will run back to you until they realise something they didn't want to and give up. When I look back, I was constantly putting him into painful situations, abusing his trust and taking advantage of the fact he was such a dedicated friend. The last time we spoke was a year ago where he made it clear he was going to stay far away from me after I'd been avoiding him for quite some time.

This is why I try not to think of Tweek and the past. It's a can of worms I've been marinating too long.

I closed my locker and made my way to my first class which was gym since I had missed my homeroom time like most days, not seeing the point in wasting my time there. I loved all my physical classes; gym and American football practice really took my mind off things, things like Cartman's punishment. The more I thought about it, the more I realised this was going to be a pretty tricky ordeal.

Kyle Broflovski approached me as I started to change in the locker rooms with raised eyebrows. "Dude, I heard about Cartman's bet" he continued to stare at me. I paused.

"Fucking Christ how many people is he going to tell about this?" I cursed under my breath. Kyle shrugged and draped his arm over my shoulder. "Don't worry, I'll try and help if I can" he assured me, but the statement was a bit ambiguous. Help me get out of this bet? Help me win it?

I began to strip my clothes off as I brewed a conversation with my teammate. "I don't care about dating a guy for a couple of days you know, I'm not queer… but it's just the fact Cartman had to go and pick Tweek of all people. Tweek hates me; we haven't be friends for years and…" I pulled on my white and green gym shirt before sighing to myself "I just don't want that fatass to make fun of me forever."

"Neither do I" Kyle agreed "I want nothing more than to see his narcissism burnt down but to be honest Craig, I really don't think Tweek hates you. He doesn't hate anyone he's just… really... intense. Also I know you're not queer, not that there's anything wrong with it but if anyone's gay in this situation it's Cartman for getting everyone to, you know, orgy around him"

"That's what I thought."

We jogged into the gym together and wrote down our workout plan that began with the treadmill to warm up and the conversation progressed on from there once we both began to run.

"I don't know how to ask Tweek out" I told him, in hope he'd have any idea what to do in my shoes.

"Just go up to him at lunch and ask if he wants to hang out, it's not rocket science." Rocket science would've been easier for me to solve, in all honesty.

"Just straight up ask him to hang? It's been too long since we spoke what if he… You know, freaks out like he used to..."

"He does that to everyone, for any reason, you know this."

"I guess."

"Look, do you want me to come with you? Moral support huh?" He looked like he was about to burst out laughing.

"No need to be cocky kosher boy, but yeah, I suppose you can tag along."

"Awesome."

True as promised, I found Kyle loitering around my locker at lunch making sure I had the balls to show up. I stashed some textbooks into my locker before I head to the cafeteria, my redhead companion in tow beside me. He was rambling on about football practice and some party in the near future but I barely had the capacity to engage with his words at that moment.

"You know where he hangs out?" I asked as I scanned the hallways for any sign of Tweek. It was almost poignant that I no longer knew where my former best friend hung out.

"Who?" Kyle grinned and I flashed my middle finger at him.

"Probably in the cafeteria drinking coffee, just chill man, you've been on dates like this before" he tried to assure me. I'd been on a few dates before, yes that was true, but not at all like this.

There was only so far I was willing to go with Kyle babysitting me before I thanked him and told him I was fine and he joined Stan and the rest of his friends on a nearby table once he was sure I wasn't going to bail, and I wasn't. The brief conversations with Kyle had put things into perspective: at best, me and Tweek would have platonic fun hanging out for a week; at worst, Cartman picks on me for a week and with all the dirt everyone had on Cartman it wouldn't be too hard to get around that or at least to not take notice of it.

My eyes glazed over all the heads in the cafeteria. It was a lot larger than what we had in elementary of course but the upside was that there wasn't a lot of changes in the kids of South Park. The same hats, the same faces, the same lame games and banter. With that in mind, all I'd have to look for is a scruffy sleep-deprived boy twitching over a mug of coffee.

It took a little while but Kyle was right, I spied a matte of wild blond hair in the far corner of the cafeteria, perched behind a flask of coffee and to my surprise he was seated opposite Bebe Stevens and Wendy Testaburger. I wondered since when became Tweek popular with the girls? I shook my head and proceeded along with the plan without an idea of what to say to him, but I hoped something tangible would come to mind.

There was this feeling in my gut that I couldn't explain. The only other time I'd felt this eerie feeling was the day that me and Tweek actually stopped being friends. One that I remembered very well but he had no idea. He had no idea why we weren't together anymore, he probably just assumed I grew to hate him.

Tweek didn't notice me approach him, he was absorbed into Wendy and Bebe's conversation while occasionally nodding and smiling at their chatter. I felt obscure there, like all eyes were pinned onto me expectantly with long claws ripping my abdomen apart. But no one was facing my direction at all. Jesus, why did I feel so afflicted over this? I was usually cool and collected, that's what I was renowned for. But the thoughts that raced through my mind was enough to break my mellow demeanour a thousand times over.

Wendy was the first to notice me standing at the foot of their table with my hands shoved in my pockets. She smiled softly and quirked her head whereas Bebe was scanning behind me sheepishly.

"Craig, can I help you?" She asked. Typical teacher's pet, always wanted to help but she couldn't help me with this one. I stole a glance at Tweek who was no longer smiling, he was gazing down into his flask and I knew he could feel my eyes on him as I caught him twitch all of a sudden.

"Red's not here" Bebe told me "or Annie, or Lizzie" she added. I flipped her off tempestuously. Had my reputation got them assuming I was here to know where their girlfriends were at? All of a sudden the task became slightly more awkward than it had to be.

"I'm not here for girls actually, I want to talk to Tweek if that's okay with you" I informed them although I didn't care if it was okay with them.

"Go ahead" the pair watched me in anticipation. I heard Tweek mutter under his breath and I immediately regretted approaching him in this situation. Or this whole entire situation itself in fact.

"No offense, but can you both fuck off for two minutes?" I sighed to which I earned frowns but nonetheless they picked up their trays of food and sighed a temporary farewell to Tweek before leaving.

I shuffled quietly into the bench opposite Tweek. He still hadn't looked up and this was beginning to feel pointless. I didn't know what to say but the first thing that came to my head had to be the best thing so far.

"How are you doing?" I asked him and he twitched again.

"Fine" he replied. I wondered what he'd done the past couple of months. We'd never had a high school life together, he'd lost all our mutual friends and I barely caught glimpses of him these days. When I spared a thought to him I'd often hoped that he was doing okay and that he was happy. But he didn't look happy to see me at all and I knew why. I deserved the scowl on his face.

"I um, Tweek do you-"

"Craig, why are you here?" He faced me finally and looked at me dead in the eye. I was almost caught off guard by this. I swallowed a lump in my throat.

"I wanna talk to you" I lied.

"Y-you haven't wanted to talk in years man, why are you here right now, you want something from me don't you? GAH! What do you need?!"

"Nothing, dude nothing" I lied again "it's not that I've been avoiding you all this time it's just… things happen don't they?" Why couldn't I stop lying.

"Yeah like, like, blanking me Craig. Just tell me why you want to talk I don't have time for lame shit excuses."

"Will you stop freaking out I really just want to talk"

"This is too much pressure, I'm gonna go find Wendy AGH!"

"Tweek just sit down! You haven't even finished your coffee, we need to catch up."

"Fuck off" Tweek stammered and I lost it; I bashed a fist on the table and kicked my leg out in front of him as he tried to walk away. I'd come this far already and I wasn't about to lose to Cartman twice in a row.

"Go to a movie with me!" I yelled at him, a few people nearby whipped their heads in shock.

His brows arched as he gasped, his huge frightened eyes were infiltrated with fear, annoyance and something else I couldn't quite make out. I suddenly felt remorseful for raising my voice. He quickly finished the last of his coffee before he hit the flask against my chest. His stare felt like long shards of ice slicing into my throat and that same eye contact never left as he pushed past me.

"7pm tomorrow, you better not be fucking with me" he hissed. It was then that I became officially screwed.