"I love you."

The girl's smiling face, her gentle voice, her excited eyes are all plastered in his brain as he replays that moment over and over again. The moment that pretty much ruined his life.

He looks around once again as he sits on a bench, waiting for the already late bus. He realizes that it's pretty late at night and nobody's perfect, but this late bus is making his quick escape fairly difficult.

It isn't that he didn't want her to love him, because he knows that it isn't a bad thing to have someone love you. What he doesn't want is for him to love her. The whole idea of it terrifies him. He doesn't want to be vulnerable; he doesn't want to be subject to the utter despair of heartbreak; he doesn't want to fall in love.

It's eerily silent at the dark bus stop, and he pulls his jacket closer around him. But he has to get away. He can't be here another minute.

When he hears footsteps, his head snaps up, expecting it to be someone here to mug him or something. But all he sees is a petite brunette in glasses, sweats, and a hoodie, carrying a suitcase and a small journal. She plops down in the seat next to him, and the thought immediately rushes through his head that she might actually be a highly trained pickpocket in disguise.

"Hi," he says awkwardly to break the silence.

She looks over at him, as though she's just noticing he's there. "Hello."

More silence.

"So…what brings you to this bus stop at almost midnight?"

"I had to get away."

"Away? From what?"

"It's stupid."

"I'll tell you my stupid reason if you tell me yours."

The girl cracks a smile and sighs. "I think my boyfriend's in love with me."

"And that's bad?"

"Well, no, but it's only a matter of time before I love him, and…that's bad."

He looks at her in shock.

"I-I know," she says quietly. "It's dumb. I just…I don't know. The concept of falling in love freaks me out. Giving your heart to someone who may not wanna keep it."

"No, I totally get it," he says, eyes wide. "My-my girlfriend told me she loved me tonight. I…I'm trying to get away too."

They stare at each other, and then their faces slowly melt into relieved smiles.

"So, are you waiting for the next bus?" he asks.

"Mmhm. You too?"

He nods. "My aunt has a condo in Tallahassee that she's letting me use."

"Oh," she replies with a nod. "That's cool."

"I'm Austin, by the way. Austin Moon."

"Ally Dawson."

When the bus finally arrives, he could swear she's the best friend he's been looking for. They have so much in common, yet enough differences to keep conversation interesting. She's nice and cute and they have the same sense of humor, and they have many of the same interests. So as they climb onto the bus, they don't stop chattering.

They sit next to each other and exchange numbers before continuing their conversation. He smiles at every word she says, and her face mirrors his.

"I've known you for, like, twenty minutes, and I think you're my new best friend," he says with a grin.

"Aw, well I think you're mine."

"Great, so we won't be alone in Tallahassee," Austin says.

"That's a relief."

"Yeah, it really is."


It's been a few months, and because Ally was super smart and didn't think through her living arrangements before packing up and moving to another city for an unknown amount of time, Austin offered to let her use the extra bedroom in his aunt's condo, which she graciously accepted. They've both found jobs that pay enough to support them, and they work well together.

He likes living with her. The main thing he was worried about when he made the impulsive decision to run off was not having anyone he knew, not having any real representation of home. But whenever he sees her, he's instantly comforted and relaxed and he knows things will be okay, and if that's not the best definition of home he isn't sure what is.

The only thing he kind of doesn't like is how much of a perfectionist she is. She made them a chore chart, which, in retrospect, was a good idea, but if he doesn't start cleaning the bathroom at exactly four o'clock on Saturday she absolutely freaks. It's kind of cute, but also kind of scary.

For the most part, though, things are good. He especially likes those Friday nights when they hang out and talk and get to know each other even better than they already did.

It doesn't take him very long to realize he likes her, because honestly why wouldn't he? She's sweet and fun and she understands his sense of humor and she's the cutest thing in the entire world, from her big glasses she only wears at night to the way she pulls her lower lip between her teeth when she's lost in thought.

It was made fairly obvious to him that he felt something for her when he began thinking about how much he wishes it was his lower lip between her teeth.

But no matter how he realized it, his feelings for her are definitely there. It doesn't make anything awkward though, because from the moment they met they've always been a little flirty, a little teasing, and it's just enough to keep him from going insane with hiding his feelings.

"You know, Austin, it's hard to take you seriously when your attempts at flirting are so pathetic," she notes.

He looks at her, his face going pale. "You know?"

"Of course I know. We're best friends."

Well, there go his plans to hide his feelings.

"How do you-"

"It's obvious. And I found your diary."

"Hey, it's a journal. Not a diary."

"I've heard it both ways."

"Not from me."

"The point is, you like me. And I'm okay with it."

"You better be okay with it."

"Or else what?" she teases.

"Or else I'd have to kick you out."

"Well, that'd be incredibly rude."

"Good thing you're okay with it, then."

"Of course I am. I like you, too."

He nods and looks at the television again, but once her words replay in his mind his eyes widen and he looks at her again.

"You-what?"

"I like you, too," she says with a smile. "You're cute."

"Thanks. So…do you wanna, maybe, go out with me?"

"I'd love to."


"Dez, I'd really appreciate it if you'd stop playing your dumb video game and actually listen to me."

He's been pacing back and forth in the living room for so long he thinks he might actually be creating a rut in the floor.

"Yeah…mmhm...sure…" the redhead says, his eyes staring at something above his phone camera while his fingers fly across his game controller like lightning.

"Dez!" Austin yells.

His friend curses and hits a button on the controller to pause the game before glaring at him.

"What?!"

"I am in the middle of a crisis right now, and you're not even listening to me!"

"Isn't this something you can talk to your girlfriend about? You know, the one who lives with you and who you can, I dunno, talk to in person instead of through a screen?"

"The crisis is about her."

Dez grabs the popcorn bowl next to him and sets it in his lap, staring at his phone screen intently. "Alright, I'm listening."

Austin rolls his eyes and takes a deep breath. "Well, things have been going really well, and I'm really happy, and-"

"If you're trying to propose, I'm absolutely flattered, but I could never do that to Ally."

"Dez!"

"Alright, I'm sorry. But if things are going so great, where's your big crisis?"

"I think I'm falling in love with her."

Dez stares at his screen for a moment, knitting his eyebrows together. Austin watches him nervously.

"And this is...bad…?"

"Yes!"

"May I ask why?"

"Because!" Austin exclaims. "Because-because if I fall in love with her, then that's it! If we break up, it'll be even worse than any average heartbreak! Falling in love would make me vulnerable and weak and I don't even know if she's the right person!"

"Well…she's probably the right person if you managed to fall in love with her. And Austin, being vulnerable isn't necessarily a bad thing," Dez reasons. "I mean, you've gotta put yourself out there in order to actually be happy, yeah?"

"I can be happy without being in love."

"But if you are in love-"

"I don't wanna be in love."

"But you are. Look, all I'm trying to say is that this is a good thing. And it doesn't make you weak. It means you finally grew a pair and decided that you want this to last."

Austin swallows and bites his lip. When he finally speaks, his voice is quiet, scared, vulnerable. "Last time her boyfriend said he loved her, she got freaked out and left him."

"You did that to your girlfriend, too," Dez reminds him gently. "And now look at you. You'll never know unless you try. Do you want her to love you."

Austin nods slowly. "Yeah…I think I do."

Dez smiles. "Well, would you look at that? You're growing up."


It's been weeks, and the idea of being in love with her has been eating away at his insides like a parasite. But despite how afraid he is, he has never once denied being in love with her – not to Dez, not to his mother, not to his journal (coughdiarycough), and most importantly, not to himself. He knows he loves her, and that is both terrifying and exciting.

He loves her. Every time he looks at her he gets all these feelings, even more than before. Whenever she smiles, he smiles. Whenever she laughs, he laughs. He didn't think that being so vulnerable and weak and afraid would make him so freaking happy.

But really, he doesn't feel as vulnerable and weak as he did at first. He feels empowered, special. Not everyone gets to fall in love, he knows it, yet somehow he managed to find the girl to break down that wall he put up. And at this point, he's positive that if he's going to be in love with anyone, it's gonna be her; he knows that she is the right person for him, and if she ends up getting scared and ditching him, then he isn't going to find anyone else that'll make him feel like she did.

He's really hoping he doesn't freak her out. He kind of really loves the way she makes him feel.

"I need to talk to you."

"Uh-oh, the serious talk can't even wait till after dessert? This must be important." Her tone is sarcastic and teasing, but he can tell she's nervous.

"It's nothing bad," he says quickly, standing up and holding out his hand. "It really isn't. I mean, not to me it isn't. But I guess it depends on how you take it. I really hope you take it well, though, but all things considered you might not. Just…try to take it well, okay?"

"Okay…" she says slowly, taking his hand and following him into the living room. "Austin, you're scaring me."

He gently sits her down on the couch, taking a seat on the cushion next to her.

"It's nothing to be afraid of. I mean, okay, it might be a little scary for you – it was for me – but if you think about it for a while it really isn't that scary."

"Wanna stop talking in code and just tell me before the stress makes me explode?"

He takes a deep breath and looks her in the eyes.

"I'm in love with you."

Before he can even finish his sentence, her eyes are the size of saucers and she's started scooting away from him.

"Y-You're-you're what?! N-No, this isn't happening. You-you can't be. I-"

"Shhhh," he says gently, taking her hand, "I know. I know everything you're thinking and everything you wanna say and I know you're probably freaking out right now. I'm just like you, remember?"

She swallows, still staring at him with those wide brown eyes and a terrified look on her features. He scoots a little bit closer to her, watching her the entire time and silently asking if it's okay. When she doesn't shrink away, he takes it as a good sign.

"I only realized it a few weeks ago, and I know…I know that this is exactly what you didn't want. I know that. I-I was the same way. Dating each other was safe, y'know? None of that gross love stuff because hey, neither of us was planning on falling in love, so why bother with it? But Ally, it's…it's not as bad as you think."

She starts shaking her head and moving away from him again. "N-no. You…stop that. You can't-I don't-"

"Hey, hey, hey, you're okay," he interrupts her again, talking as softly as if he were trying to coax a scared kitten out of hiding. "It's okay. Just try to hear me out, yeah? You're okay."

She nods slowly, relaxing just slightly as he rubs slow circles on the back of her hand with his thumb.

"I'm just like you," he continues gently. "When I first realized it, I got so scared I almost puked. Remember that day? I told you I had the flu and wouldn't let you near me. But you just thought I was trying to plan a surprise date without you figuring it out."

Her lips twitch into a small smile, and he smiles too.

"After I got a little used to it, I called Dez. And he said a few things that made it feel…better, somehow. He said that loving someone doesn't make you weak. You know, only so many people in the world get to find that person, so really, it makes us, like, powerful. And he also said that being vulnerable is okay, because once we accept it and embrace it then we won't feel vulnerable anymore. And that's really all we're scared of, yeah? Being weak and vulnerable, giving our hearts away to someone who maybe shouldn't have it?"

She nods, and he smiles more.

"Well, look at this, Als. Here I am, in love with you. And guess what? I'm still alive, see? The world didn't come crashing down. My life hasn't ended as I know it. I'm still the same Austin I was before I loved you. Things are okay, Ally."

He squeezes her hand and scoots closer to her. She watches him warily, but he can tell in the way she's searching his eyes that she's starting to believe what he's saying.

"I promise, Ally, there isn't anything to be afraid of. And this is coming from a guy who sleeps with a night light and a magical blankie to ward off monsters."

She cracks a real, genuine smile, and he smiles even more. He inches even closer until their legs are touching, and with his free hand he cups her cheek gently.

"I love you, Ally. And it's okay if you're scared and you don't really know what to do. The one thing I ask is that you don't break off something so good over this."

She searches his eyes. "I've been feeling different lately, too," she says quietly. "I guess you took it better than I did."

He smiles more.

"I-I'm still scared though."

"That's okay. Take as long as you need. I'm here for you."

She leans her forehead against his, and he watches her close her eyes. He tries to imagine how many thoughts must be running through her head right now, but then he decides to kiss her instead.


He wakes up to a pair of eyes staring back at him. Needless to say, he screams so loud the neighbors surely heard and almost wets his pants.

"Shhh!" his girlfriend says, bringing her finger to her lips.

"Don't do that!" he whispers, placing a hand on his bare chest over his heart. "You gave me a heart attack!"

"I wanna talk."

He looks at the clock on his bedside table. "At two in the morning?"

"This is a very two-in-the-morning type of conversation."

He sighs and sits up, positioning his pillows against the wall so he can lean against them comfortably. She sits up as well and faces him.

"Two weeks ago, you told me you were in love with me."

He nods. "That is correct."

"And I kind of implied that I might feel the same way."

He smiles wistfully. "Also correct. Glad I picked that up."

"But…I was still scared."

"Mmhm."

"Even though you told me it's nothing to be afraid of because you're still alive and happy and things are going great and the world isn't ending."

He nods again, watching her in the darkness.

"Austin…I'm not scared anymore."

His lips start curving upwards into a grin, and he can see her pearly white teeth in the almost-pitch-black of the room as she smiles too.

"That's great, Ally."

"You-you were right. About everything."

"I do tend to not be wrong sometimes."

She giggles quietly and grabs his hands. He raises his eyebrows (more out of instinct, as it's too dark for her to actually see them) and his heart pounds in his chest.

"I love you, Austin."

The way those four simple words tumble so beautifully and happily and effortlessly out of her mouth makes him so ecstatic that he can hardly choke out an "I love you too, Ally," before his lips find hers and he pins her to the mattress.

He ravishes her skin, mumbling I love you with each breath he takes. He can hear her faintly echoing the phrase, but really the only thing going through his brain right now is Ally Ally Ally.

He'd kind of really like it if Ally Ally Ally could be the only thing going through his brain for the rest of his life.


omg.