Title: Running Back
Author: Lifeguard
Rating: K
Disclaimer: I hate admitting that I don't own Bones, or DB. I also don't own the song "For the Nights I Can't Remember" which belongs to Hedley. I am only borrowing them both for awhile; I promise I'll give them back when I am done.
Spoilers: Santa in the Slush, Judas on a Pole, any other B&B episodes.
Summary: On New Years Eve she wants to forget the past, he wants to her remember and look forward to the future. Yet can they both confront the present?
Author's Note: I suggest you listen to "For the Nights I Can't Remember" before reading the story, as I listened to the song for about a week before writing this, and this is draft two. It's such a beautiful piece of music, and is my current obsession. This story is also my take on "after the kiss" so I hope everyone enjoys it!
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Fat and fluffy flakes of snow fell outside the window of the quiet building. Most people were gathering the last few supplies for the night ahead or getting ready to go out, but he was in his office, putting his signature on another report. It wasn't that he had no where to go, he had plenty of offers to hit up clubs, bars or even stay with his family, but he had turned them down, for reasons he knew and wouldn't admit. His mother had almost begged him to stay but he returned to his home, giving her the same excuse he gave everyone else; mounds of paperwork to do, and what better time to do it then when the building would be dead. Truthfully there was only one person he wanted to spend the evening with besides his son, but she was in Peru, probably up to her elbows in dirt and bones, enjoying every minute of it. He tried to reason that it was better when she was thousands of miles away, but he still couldn't get her off of his mind. His thoughts constantly wandered back to that day, that moment, that feeling…Booth shook his head and signed another piece of paper placing it in on the growing pile. He had to get his mind off of that. Paperwork it was then; at least he'd be ahead for the New Year.
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Placing the bones inside, she labeled the box; another soldier who could finally rest in peace, no longer anonymous. She picked up the box and carried it through the empty halls of the Jeffersonian to its proper spot. She could have been in Peru right now, identifying different remains, more exciting ones than this, but she had changed her mind at the last minute. Sure she had wanted to forget about Christmas, to go away and let the holiday pass, but her conscience and heart had made her stay, opting to spend the time with her father and brother instead, despite the prison visit. Christmas Eve had been bittersweet, and she had spent Christmas day alone, under the guise that she had left for Peru early that morning, and then returned to work the next day. Only Angela knew she was still in DC, and she thought that was for the best. All she really wanted was a quiet holiday if she had to acknowledge it at all. Christmas brought up to many unpleasant memories of time spent in the foster care system, and of her parents leaving.
As she returned to her office something caught her eye and she sighed. The mistletoe still hung from her ceiling and with it hung the memories in the room. She thought again, for the millionth time in the last few days that she should have gone on her trip, should have left to avoid the residual feelings that thinking of that moment brought up. There were too many emotions between what had happened and the sweet gesture of the tree that she wasn't ready to confront. All these new feelings consumed her, and she didn't want to be dealing with them during the holidays, which were bad enough on their own. She was glad Booth had spent Christmas with Parker, driven to Vermont and then gone to his parent's place. It was better that they spent time apart, at least she thought.
So she worked, driving any thoughts of that day from her mind.
Her cell phone rang from her desk, bringing her back to reality. She sauntered over and read the call display.
"Hey Angela," she greeted her friend.
"Sweetie, where are you? If you're at work I might just come drag you away myself."
"Where else should I be Ange?"
"Getting ready to go to a party, that's where! Jack and I are going to this fabulous thing and you should totally come with us. It will be so much fun, not to mention that there will be an open bar."
"It sounds like fun, but I'm really tired. I think I'll just go home and sleep."
"Brenn, you've been wallowing around in this funk for days now," Angela whined, "Come out and have some fun at least."
"Just go and have fun with Hodgins, don't worry about me."
"Sweetie, how can I not worry about you? Why don't you think about it and I'll call you back later?"
Brennan thought that was a decent compromise, though she doubted she would change her mind, "Alright, call me later. Bye Angela."
She hung up and sat down in front of her computer. Right now she wanted nothing more than to finish the report on her latest soldier.
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Booth stretched and yawned, glancing at the time. It was later than he expected, and his stomach rumbled as he realized it was past dinner time. He had to smile a little; he was acting like his partner, putting in all this over-time and skipping meals. His cell rang and he picked it up.
"Booth," he answered.
"Hey Booth, its Angela."
"What's up?" he asked, unsure of why the artist was calling him, "Have you heard from Bones?"
"I was just calling to ask about your plans for tonight, but I actually just got off the phone with Brenn."
"Is she enjoying Peru?"
"Peru? Brenn's not in Peru."
Booth's eyebrows shot up, "But she was leaving Christmas morning. Where is she?"
"She's been at the Jeffersonian since Boxing day. Didn't she tell you?"
"No. You mean she spent Christmas alone?"
"Yeah, she turned down my offer to spend it with Hodgins and I, and I am pretty sure she's going to bail on me tonight as well."
"Tonight?"
"You know, a little thing called New Years Eve? I invited her to this big party, but you know her, Christmas has got her down, and she doesn't want to be festive like the rest of us. What are your plans tonight anyways? Are you still with your parents?"
"No, I'm at the office doing paper work. I really didn't have plans for tonight."
He heard Angela scoff, "You really do spend to much time with Brennan," there was a pause and he could almost see the light bulb going off over her head, "Say, why don't you go by the lab and grab Brenn and you guys spend New Years together, seeing as neither of you have plans. Feel free to call Jack and I if you want to go to a fabulous party too."
Before he had a chance to respond she said a quick goodbye and hung up. Leave it to Angela to plant an idea in his head. But it wasn't a bad idea.
Booth grabbed his coat and car keys, leaving the paperwork to be finished another day.
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Brennan shifted her head from side to side, trying to work out the knots developing in it. Her stomach growled and she jumped when a voice in the doorway said, "Hungry?"
She looked up to see her partner leaning on her office door, watching her intently.
"Booth, I thought you were at home."
"I thought you were in Peru."
He sauntered into the office. She struggled for words.
"I didn't go," was the best she could come up with.
"I can see that," he replied, "You didn't tell me you were staying."
"Did I have to? I thought you were going to be at your parent's place over the holidays."
"I was, but I left early. I'm getting Parker on New Years day, and besides, I had a lot of paper work to do," he added lamely, "Why didn't you go to Peru?"
"I had a lot of work to catch up on too."
"That's a bad excuse Bones," he called her bluff.
"What are you doing here Booth?" she switched the subject.
"Well, Angela called and informed me you were here, and I hadn't eaten yet, and listening to your stomach I would say you skipped dinner too, so I figured we could go to the diner or maybe get some take out."
She rolled her eyes. It figured that Angela would give her away.
"What do you say Bones? What are you feeling like?"
"Thai take out, we could go to my place," the words were out before she could think.
He nodded, "We can pick it up on the way."
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On the way to her place they chatted about Parker, Booth's trip home and the Jeffersonian Christmas party. It was idle banter to pass the time, trying to put off what they knew they both should be talking about. The same happened as they ate in her apartment. But as the food and small talk dwindled, the atmosphere changed.
Standing in her kitchen, Booth placed his plate in the sink and wondered when things between them had become awkward. In the back of his mind he knew exactly when.
For lack of anything better to say or do he looked at her and then towards her television.
"Wonder what's going on in Times Square," he mumbled and walked over to put the TV on.
The set flickered to life and the celebration in New York was in front of them. They watched for a few minutes as a band neither of them knew finished a set and someone announced that midnight was about an hour away.
He turned back to her, "What would you have done in Peru?" he asked.
"I don't know. I may have just stayed in my hotel, or maybe have observed the local culture and customs surrounding the New Year, but really, it's not a big deal to me. What about you?"
"I had some offers to go out, but I wasn't really feeling the bar scene tonight."
She seemed to accept his explanation.
"Why didn't you go to Peru?" he tried to ask casually.
"Didn't I already answer that Booth?"
"Yeah, but you always have work to do. You were excited for Peru."
She didn't answer at first. A new band took to the stage in New York, starting a new song.
I see it in the way you would do
When no one else would ever get through
Holding back till I come around
Time and time again you wait for me to come in
"I guess I stayed because I knew it would make my father happy," she finally answered.
"You did a good thing Bones, he really appreciated it, and so did Russ."
She shrugged, "It's ironic that I helped make Christmas happen for my dad when he hasn't done it for me in over fifteen years," she replied sarcastically.
"Well he did this for you and Russ as much as he did it for himself. He's trying Bones."
She crossed her arms, "And I'm trying too Booth, but it's hard, harder than it looks. It's just really difficult, especially during this time of the year, when everyone has family to go to, people to be with, and for years it was just me," she pointed to herself, her tone becoming increasingly frustrated.
"Can you blame me for still being slightly bitter? Can you blame me for disliking the holidays? Sure we got to spend some time together, but the worst part is, he's in prison, and when our time is up, I go back to spending Christmas alone. That's why I wanted to go to Peru, but I stayed Booth, because I am trying. I am trying to forgive him, but it's not easy."
Her eyes dropped from his and he could see the pain she was trying to hide from him.
"No one can blame you Bones. You have every right to still be mad at him, but you're doing the right thing, trying. It's all you can do. It takes time and your relationship with him will probably never be perfect, but you're trying."
And did you really look my way?
Cause no one could have seen this coming
He walked closer to her and laid a hand on her shoulder, "And you're not alone Bones."
I would never let you down
If I was running backwards full time
Blue eyes met brown as she slowly raised her head.
"You've got friends that love you, an extended family you still have to meet, and you've got me Bones, and I'm here for you."
So I can and I will and you'll see
Your hero come running
Over and over tonight
She shook her head, "But you have your own family Booth, I'm just your partner," she whispered.
"Then I don't think you know just how big of a role you play in my life."
Her eyes widened in question.
"Ever since I met you my life has changed. You've made me a better person Temperance," he said, his gaze penetrating hers.
Me I'm used to being tired and bloody
But you believed that I could be somebody
"You show me that there is justice in the world, even when it looks like there is no hope. You've shown me what true courage and strength are. You were an unexpected addition to my life, and hell, you complicated it to no extent, but I wouldn't change anything about these last three years that I've spent with you. I'll always be here for you."
You put your world on hold for me
Gave away to follow failure through the fire
She couldn't remember the last time she had felt this important to someone. Not even when she was with Sully did she feel the way she felt right now. But then another thought stirred in her mind. This was not a new feeling, she felt this way with Booth everyday. She knew that he would do anything for her. He had promised that he would never betray her, that he would always be there for her. Booth had been there when she was at her worst, when she felt most alone in the world. He always came back to her, no matter what.
I need you to know I will
Believe me girl I'm so tired of running
I just wanna hold your hand
Stare at you like you've got everything I need
To say he was scared was an understatement. Inside Booth was freaking out over what he had just admitted to his partner. He was so close to crossing the line that he had drawn. What he hadn't told her was that she had taken over his life and that since the kiss; he had not been able to get her off of his mind. He was over his head in love with her; there was no other way to explain it. Her silence now scared him. What if he had scared her? What if she ran? She held the power to break his heart, and he knew he would never be the same if she did.
What if I never said to you I was dynamite?
What if I never told you I'm afraid to cry?
What if I never let you down and said
I'm sorry for the nights I can't remember
What if I never said to you I would try?
Her head was tipped down, her hair falling across her face, but it didn't hide the single tear that ran down her cheek. He was one of the only people that she let in, and she somehow knew she could never live without him.
"That means so much to me," she whispered, "because I need you in my life Booth."
And I do wanna love you
(If you see me running back)
And I do wanna try
Because if falling for you girl is crazy
Then I'm going out of my mind
So hold back your tears this time
He reached up and gently ran his thumb across her cheek, smoothing away the trail her tear had left. She moved closer to him, resting her hands on his arms and he placed a gentle kiss on her forehead.
In the background the countdown to midnight began, the people in Times Square chanting the numbers.
"6...5…4…3…2…1…"
And as the ball dropped they closed the distance between them, their lips meeting softly.
She wrapped her arms gently around his neck, deepening the kiss as his one hand caressed her cheek, the other winding her hair around his fingers.
There was no denying the motive this time, no blaming it on feeling puckish or passing it off as sibling feelings.
When they pulled apart their gaze never broke.
"You're crazy Booth," she half smiled at him, "if you want an emotionally stunted squint in your life, especially now that we can't go back over that line. Things are going to be different."
"Well then I'm out of my mind because I'm looking forward to different this year."
And I do wanna love you
(If you see me running back)
And I do wanna try
Cause if falling for you girl is crazy
Then I'm going out of my mind
So hold back your tears this time
Hold back your tears this time
The End
