She looks over her shoulder to make sure no one is following her, and breaks into a sprint.
She runs. She runs quick as lightening. She runs as fast as she can from McKinley High School and all the way to Lima Heights.
The seedy building with blinking lights stands before her.
The Lady in Red
Rachel Barbra Berry rushes inside.
Rachel Berry-no Baby Doll, has always lived in a whore house.
She became an exotic dancer at age four because Leroy and Hiram realized they could get in more business if they could lure the pedophiles into paying money to see her dance.
She learned to sing songs about having sex with her at age five when they realized she could sing.
"You have the voice of a siren, Baby Doll…the plans I have for you…."
She became a prostitute when she was ten.
She's seventeen now.
Fuck men. Get paid.
Sing about sex. Get paid.
Give erotic dances. Get paid.
Fuck her teachers. Get straight A's.
She's slept with most of the teachers in all of Ohio.
Except Mr. Schue - -Especially Mr. Schue
(That would just be so wrong)
Besides, he's never been to the whore house.
Thank god.
Everyone keeps her secret. They want their sex, and she (her fathers) wants the money.
All Rachel Barbra Berry wants is to know what love feels like.
It hurts when Shelby tells her she doesn't want her.
She wants to scream and yell and cry.
"Why am I so easy to give up? What's so wrong about me that you'll leave? I need you! I'm scared of my life! I'm living in hell! SAVE ME! SAVE ME! SAVE ME! SAVE ME!"
She doesn't say anything.
She can't.
People only fuck and screw her.
No one ever loves her.
Not her customers, her so-called friends, her mother, or her fathers.
She's accepted it.
She's moved on (She has to).
Her life is fucked up.
She wakes up has sex with a client, drinks tequila with a customer and gives him a lap dance and then gets ready for school.
She goes to school where she is bullied, called bad names, and has slushies' thrown at her face.
She comes back to the whore house and degrades herself again and again.
She has sex with Coach Tanaka, Dustin Goolsby, Principal Figgins, and that guy from Sheets-and- Things every day.
They're her regulars.
"You're my favorite Babydoll."
She sees them every night.
Principal Figgins is her favorite. He always changes her grades so she doesn't have to worry about them.
"You already work so hard Baby Doll."
She can't go to the police.
The whore house is all she's ever known.
If she squeals the whole town would kill her.
She's Baby Doll.
Everybody's favorite.
They won't let her go….even if she put up a fight.
She tried to leave once.
She walked up to the police when she was twelve and realized what was going on in her life was wrong.
Her eyes popped out of her face when the nice looking police officer called her name.
"Baby Doll!"
Her head whipped around and she realized half of the people in there were regulars at the Red Lady.
She bolted out as fast as she could.
She couldn't report this. Not to anyone.
Too many people were involved in her fathers' business.
So she soldiered on; became strong.
What else can you do, when no one can save you?
She joins Glee club to get away from the whore house for another hour.
In this hour it is utter bliss.
She hasn't slept with Mr. Schue, or Noah, or Finn, or Mike, or any other guy in this room.
It's nice.
She ignores the taunts and screams at being selfish.
She doesn't care.
This is the only time she isn't being known as the infamous prostitute.
She's just Rachel Berry.
For one hour of the day she's extraordinary.
She has dreams.
She won't stay in this hell forever.
New York.
That's what she tells people.
It's not where she's going.
She just says this to get Leroy, Hiram, Shelby, her clients, the police, and the whole fucking state of Ohio, to search there and only there, when she runs away.
When she's eighteen of course…and has a high school diploma.
She's going to England.
No one will find her there…not the ones who will be looking.
They are all Lima Losers… her clients will never make it out of this state…out of this town.
When she meets Jesse she knows he's a fraud.
He will use her, and use her, until he gets what he wants.
She follows along, because for the first time in her life he's not after sex.
He wants to crush her, all in the name of Regionals.
She plays along.
She loves how he takes her on dates and acts like she's the only girl in the world.
He's using her.
She knows it.
Rachel's using him too.
Finn is a childhood fantasy that she just can't let go.
She's always dreamed of a prince coming and saving her from the evil dragon (her fathers').
He disappoints time and time again.
She'll let him keep trying.
She's never had a man (boy) fight for her love when he actually wants it.
He doesn't want sex…not now.
He doesn't want Baby doll.
Hell he doesn't' even know about her alter-ego.
That's why she lets him fight for her when he's done with Quinn for the billionth time.
It's why she fights for him too.
There's still that little girl inside of her that wants her prince to come and save her; she'll let Finn have another chance.
Maybe this time…he can save her.
Tequila, Tequila, Tequila!
Margarita, Margarita, Margarita!
Scotch! Scotch, Scotch!
Alcohol is Rachel's friend.
It makes her numb, and happy, and lets her not give a shit about what she's doing.
She succumbs to the bottle and is ready for her next client.
She can be happy now.
She will not break; she will persevere.
Alcohol gives her the courage and the willpower to do what she must do.
Rachel Barbra Berry is an alcoholic…this is what her fathers' have made her become.
"Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck the men until you cannot.
Get the money. Get the money .Get the money. Get the money .Get the money. Get the money .Get the money. Get the money even if it is the last thing you do.
You are worthless. You are worthless. You are worthless. You are worthless. You are worthless. You are worthless. You are worthless unless you are whoring yourself out and earning this family money!"
This is the mantra Leroy and Hiram had yelled at her from the minute she was born.
These are the rules she grew up on. She follows them.
She's always been her daddies' little girl.
Noah is different from Puck she decides.
Noah is the nice boy she met in the sandbox and shared his bucket.
Puck is the player who knocked up Quinn Fabray.
Rachel wishes Puck would be Noah again.
Puck is full of anger, hate, sex, grudges, and recklessness.
Noah is full of love, compassion, forgiveness, caution, patience, sunshine, and everything that is good in this world.
Rachel just wants Puck to be Noah again…Puck can't be like her…he still has a chance.
He can still be smart and kind Noah.
He can still be saved.
When she sings in Glee she can forget; just for a moment who she really is.
She can sing of rainbows, sunshine, and happy endings.
She can pretend they are real.
Just for a moment...she feels hope.
The Glee club can complain all they want about her hogging up all the solos.
She doesn't care.
She just wants to sing and pretend that there is still a place out there for her in the world.
She just wants something to live for.
Santana does not live in Lima Heights.
She lives in a mansion in the really, really rich gated community of Lima.
Rachel should know. She has sex with Santana's father four times a week.
The Lopez family has money, and loads to spare.
She gets paid to have slushies' thrown on her sometimes.
Her clients/customers do.
There is no way she is giving them anything if they come to the whore house if they don't.
"Fifty dollars there, fifty dollars here."
She pretends not to care.
It's all in the name of business, love
When Emma announces to the Glee club her boyfriend- turned -husband Carl the dentist she has to hold in her laughter.
Emma might as well run to the nearest court house and file for divorce, because that man has been watching her kiss, dance, and have sex since she was ten years old.
Carl loves his Baby doll; can't live without you, he says over and over again.
Their marriage is doomed.
It's no surprise to her when Emma and Carl divorce each other.
Carl just can't stay away from his Baby doll.
He never could and he never will.
"I've loved you ever since I laid eyes on you", he swears to Baby doll.
She believes him, she truly does.
"I'll be seeing you forever."
She won't; Good god she won't let that happen.
She's leaving. One year. Just one year more.
She runs into Shelby again. She's giving Puck and Quinn pictures of Beth looking all sweet, innocent, and happy.
She turns away hoping she wasn't spotted.
"Rachel is that you?"
She turns around again.
Awkward conversations start. There is nothing left to say.
"SAVE ME! SAVE ME! SAVE ME!"
(Her pleas never get said. Shelby isn't her prince, not her knight-in-shining armor. Shelby's the wicked witch who stuck her in the tower. Shelby will not be the savior in her fairytale.)
She smiles painfully at the picture of Beth and Shelby and tells her she is happy for her.
Her phone vibrates and her smile fades just a crack.
"I have to go. It was nice seeing you."
Just like that Shelby vanishes from her life yet again.
"Wear short-short skirts, and knee socks!
Advertise at school.
Be the Catholic schoolgirl!
Looking so naughty and tempting to those who know what you do!
They will come! They will come! All because of you!"
She follows Leroy and Hiram's instructions because she is such a good girl.
Not because she has to obey orders in order to have a roof over her head and food to eat.
Not at all.
She doesn't know what the future lies ahead of her.
She might be dead (All those criminal shows tell her the prostitutes are the ones who are usually murdered).
She might be alive…she hopes she's alive. She prays it, she chants it, she begs for it.
All she knows is that she needs to start taking her exit plan into action.
One year…One year.
One year until she can take off these shackles and become free.
One year until she can be anybody she wants to be.
One year until she has the world at her fingertips.
One more year until she can feel… alive.
Rachel will be ready.
She will not falter, will not fall.
They've taken everything away from her.
She will not let them take away this.
She will be free.
