Title: Catch me if you can
Author: Wordless_angel
Email: Wordless_angel@hotmail.com
Spoilers: 411 on the DL; Cold Comfort; Blah Blah, Woof Woof.
Rating: PG
Disclaimer: The characters mentioned in this story are not mine and in no
way belong to me. No money is being made from this work and no offence is
meant to the creator.
Summary: Jondy's running from Manticore, Lydecker, Zack and herself. She
has to make peace with one of them before she loses the chance.
She pushed her long, bottle blond hair behind her ears and surveyed herself in the dirty mirror. She wore jeans and a black top. Her skin was creamy and her eyes dark. With a sigh, she grabbed her large black bag and headed for work.
She worked nights, it was easier. When you were always running, it was good to work when few people would see you. Her job at the liquor store wasn't exactly a dream job but, hey, work was work and she needed it. She got on well with the guys she worked with. Which was a good thing, 'cause if she didn't, they'd be dead.
"Hi Arze." Grinned her co-worker, Luke as she entered. Everyone else had cleared of already. They had family to go home to.
"Hi. What do you want from me tonight?"
"Can you take the book work in the back." She frowned and cursed their lazy boss, who reckoned he didn't have to do anything if he could get one of his underpaid workers to do it. Luke saw her face and put on his best 'please' face. "Oh, please. You know what my maths is like. And you're so good at it." She rolled her eyes and smiled.
"Fine. But your sucking had nothing to do with it."
"Of course not." Luke had got to know her very well over the last two weeks. She had only been in Washington for a few weeks. It was obvious to him that she was running from something. He watched her walk into the back. Man, she was beautiful. But Luke knew better than to hit on her. The last unwanted proposition she had had, the guy had ended up in intensive care for a week.
Meanwhile, in the back, the woman Luke had called Arze, set herself up to work out the books. Her eye caught the phone and she knew she should check in. But she didn't want to. She knew what would happen if she did. Zack would come down here, guns blazing, literally, and uproot her and move her on to another place. She'd have to find a new place, a new job and a new identity. She was getting quite fond of Arze. She was stubborn and wilful, much like her real self. But Arze was fun and easygoing, as long as you didn't come on to her. She could remember when she had been Lily. It was almost a relief when Zack had told her to move on. Lily was a pain. She always followed orders and never argued. Lily also had this thing about having fun, like she'd die if she did. Her real self knew it was unhealthy to transform herself into a completely new person but it was easier to do if she believed it. It meant she could stop crying at night. She sighed and started to work.
((
The night was slow for Luke. No one was buying tonight.
"Excuse me." Began a voice. Luke jumped, he hadn't heard anyone come up. The guy before him was tall, blond, blue eyed and well muscled.
"Yeh,"
"I was looking for Arze."
"What do you want with her?"
"That's none of your business."
"I think it is."
"Are you a boyfriend?" Asked the stranger, crossing his arms.
"Heck no! Arze has this way with guys."
"What do you mean?"
"Well, the unlucky ones suffer severe brain damage or end up in wheelchairs. The lucky ones die."
"Really. So, you going to tell me where she is." It wasn't a question.
"Man, are you just dumb or want to get killed?" the stranger had finally had enough. He picked Luke up by the neck until he was a foot off the ground.
"Where is she?" His voice was harsh. Luke made a strangling noise and pointed to the back room. He felt himself be dropped and watched the stranger move away.
((
She had heard the whole exchange from the back room but hadn't moved. She was trying to hold her last minutes as Arze. Her last minutes before she would become someone new. She heard his footsteps, so soft yet commanding and she looked up at him.
"Zack." She greeted him, hiding all emotion behind a mask. Zack didn't like emotion. He couldn't handle it.
"Jondy." He returned the greeting. His voice was angry. She sighed and interrupted as he opened his mouth to say something cutting.
"You shouldn't move location without my approval or instruction and if you have to without clearing it with me first, you have to contact me and inform me of you new position. I know Zack, if you say it again, I'm not going to know it any better." Zack glared at her, those exact words dying on his lips.
"How come if you know it, you ignore it? A good solider does not."
"Shhh." Jondy interrupted. "Do you want the world to know?" She dragged him from the room.
"Sorry Luke, I have to take the rest of the night off. I'll make it up tomorrow."
"Sure thing." He grunted rubbing his throat.
((
Jondy's apartment was messy. The sort of messy a person who had spent their whole childhood being clean and was making up or it now. It had very little furniture and nothing bright. Jondy stuck to black. It was easiest.
Jondy flopped onto the floor and watched Zack. He paced back and forth, hands clasped behind him.
"When will you understand that I am trying to help you?" Jondy sighed. So he was going to do this again. For once, just once, she wished that he could at least pretend to understand.
"When will you understand that I am trying to ignore you? Take the hint and leave me alone." Her answer was snappy but too bad. He looked at her and something flicked in his eyes.
"Do you want to get recaptured? Do you want Manticore swarming all over this place?"
"Do you want a bloody nose, 'cause you're defiantly going the right way?"
"Cant you just try to understand my position as your CO."
"Cant you understand I just want a normal life?" Zack growled in his throat. It always went like this. Most of the others would listen and obey him. They understood he was just doing the best thing for them. But Jondy, she never liked him telling her what to do. She would always argue, then he'd get mad and tell her to do what she wanted, just not call on him when she was in trouble, then he'd come back later and find she'd already left. Even Max was easier to handle. She would listen then ignore him.
Zack sighed and sank into a chair. Jondy frowned. This was strange. Zack never changed. He would come to her work, they'd go to her place and he'd lecture. But he'd never sat down. He'd just pace until she would swear he was wearing the carpet out. Something was wrong.
"Zack?" She asked hesitantly, her voice concerned. "What's wrong?" he looked down at the carpet.
"Your carpet is filthy."
"So kill me. Stop avoiding the question. What's wrong?"
"Nothing."
"Bullshit. What do you take me for?"
"Think you're pretty smart, don't you."
"Well, I am the one with an IQ of 200."
"I'm sorry, forgive my ignorance." Jondy stared.
"Did I just hear you apologise? Ah, that's it. Lydecker, come and get me. Zack said he was sorry. You can put me in a cage and torture me now and I will still die happy."
"Haha, Very funny. Why don't you get a job as a comedian?"
"Hmmm, that's an idea. How's the pay?" Zack returned to staring at the carpet.
"Do you know the date, Jondy? Do you know what today is?" Jondy thought for a moment.
"Nope, give up. Tell me."
"Today is the day we escaped from Manticore eleven years ago." Jondy was silent for a minute.
"Eleven years. That's a long time."
"Yeah, eleven years of running. Of hiding. Eleven years of fucking escape and evade practise." Zack laughed bitterly. "And you know what the worst part of today is?"
"That we have to wait another year for our next Manticore birthday?"
"Today was the day Eva died." Zack buried his face in his hands, trying to regain his composure. Jondy moved to sit next to him. She knew that Eva and Zack had been the closest. Eva was a calming influence. They were the two leaders and had supported each other. Maybe they even loved each other. She realised with a jolt how much Eva's death must have affected Zack.
"She shouldn't have died." He muttered into his hands rousing her from her thoughts. "I shouldn't have let her die." Jondy frowned.
"You didn't."
"I did. I failed her. I should have." Zack was interrupted from his self pity by a sharp slap on the back of his head.
"Don't ever let me hear you wallow in self pity ever again. We all wish we'd done things differently but wishing doesn't change anything. She was protecting us and she only did it because she knew that if it ended for her, then you'd look after us. Eva was the logical one, remember. She never would have picked up that gun if she hadn't planed for every scenario she could think of. And she'd do exactly what I just did if she heard you like this." Zack stared into her fierce eyes
"I just miss her so much." He choked. Jondy softened and pulled him in until his head rested against her chest. He wrapped his arms around her and cried. She stroked his hair, just letting him cry. Jondy couldn't count the number of times he had done the same for her, when she'd had to leave a place she liked or after a run in with Manticore. She was just returning the favour.
Zack drew away and Jondy's breath caught in her throat. He looked so different. Not the same Zack she always saw as the Big brother. But someone else, someone who pretended to be tough but was at the same time venerable. It shone in his blue eyes. The eyes that were normally so misted over that they were unreadable.
She gently touched his face, trying to wipe tears from his cheeks. This was Zack, he couldn't be crying. Zack just didn't cry. Slowly, he reached up and took the hand resting against his cheek
"Thanks Jondy. I don't know what came over me. A good solider never lets emotion take over." She moved away.
"Do you every get tired of being a good solider, Zack?" there was no resentment in her voice. She sounded serious. She sounded old. Old and tired. He glanced at her.
"Of course not. I am a solider and."
"Don't lie to me Zack." Zack sighed.
"I'm nothing but tired. I'm tired of running, of looking over my shoulder to see if someone's there. I'm tired of being alone." Jondy took his hand. Maybe he understood better than she thought. "I'm tired of having to look out for everyone. Especially when none of you take any notice of what I say. I am your CO." Jondy sighed and let go of his hand. Detached Zack was back, his eyes once again emotionless. He stood up. "I want you out of here."
"No." Jondy answered simply.
"What?" Zack asked angrily.
"NO! You said you were tired of running. So am I."
"That doesn't mean you can stop!"
"I can try."
"No you can't. Lydecker will be all over this place soon. Just because you don't want to do something doesn't mean you can stop."
"How would you know? Have you tried?" cried Jondy. Zack turned away from her and she stood. "What is it?"
"I've tried! I've tried really hard. I've tried to forget everything and everyone. You all go one about wanting to be normal. So do I! But I realised that Manticore is just part of me. And there is nothing I can do about it. There is nothing you can do either!" Zack stomped away from her and out the door, slamming it in his wake. Jondy sunk back on the floor and buried her head in her hands.
((
She left Washington the next morning. There was little to pack and no one to say goodbye to. All she had was a bag of stuff and her bike. If there was one thing Jondy could never give up it was her bike. She loved the feel of wind in her hair. She loved the speed and adrenaline. It must an X5 thing. Zack loved his bike and he'd said the other had them too. Los Angeles sounded good at this time of year and Jondy had wanted to go black again. Blonde hair really didn't suit her.
((
Zack came to check on Jondy two weeks later. It was not surprising, but highly irritating, to find her gone. Now he would have to search for her all over again. Jondy was good at escape and evade. If she had been a pretty, blonde, stubborn bartender, she would be a pretty, dark, stubborn shop assistant. Jondy also never used the same name twice. One day she would be Kate the next Delilah. It was hard to keep up.
Zack swore and punched the door, accidentally putting his hand through it. He swore again and stomped out. He would have to look somewhere else.
((
Jondy tied her hair back making sure the scar that had only a few hours ago been a barcode, was hidden. She had it removed as often as she could afford it. This time as she went t work, she wore tight, black leather skirt, a midriff bearing black top decorated with silver studs and knee high black boots. She had got herself a job as a waitress in a sleazy bar and she had to look the part.
"Hi Seraya." Yelled Danny from behind the bar.
"Hi." She smiled and waved.
"What was wrong with your brother?" Danny asked. Jondy grinned. Krit and Syl had had a fight so Krit had come to cry on Jondy's shoulder. He'd also drunk enough to get an X5 horrible drunk. It was NOT a pleasant sight.
"Drowning his sorrows."
"Drowning doesn't even come close. I though he was going to flood the place." Danny laughed. He had come to know a few of Seraya's brothers over the last three weeks. It was quite a collection. They all looked so different. He'd met a few sisters too. Seraya seemed to get on with her brothers better than her sisters. But man, they were all fine.
Danny watched her greet Die, the bar singer then she grabbed her tray from behind the bar.
((
The bar started to fill up around nine. By ten, everything was in full swing. Die was singing and people were dancing. Jondy was talking to a few regulars when she saw Danny wave her over. A guy stood on the other side of the bar. His back was facing away from her so she couldn't see his face but that back was far to familiar. She sighed and walked over.
"Yeh Danny?" She asked, faking a smile.
"This here claims to be another of your bros." Jondy pouted.
"Another one?" Zack turned to look at her.
"Come here." Jondy dragged Zack into the back room. She glared at him. "What do you want?" she asked angrily. "I'm fine."
"I asked you to tell me where you were going."
"You know now. So leave me alone." Jondy glared enough to make Zack flinch. He grabbed her shoulder.
"What did he mean about others?"
"Me and the others started a band. They come around to practise." Jondy shrugged. Zack glared.
"Which ones?"
"Kirt, Ben, Syl, Zane and I saw Brin once."
"How did they know where you were?"
"I told them."
"You told them where you were going?"
"Yeah, so."
"You could have endangered them."
"Oh fuck off Zack. Your just mad I didn't tell you. Why don't you just leave me alone? I don't need your help. You are such a fucking prick. Just go way! You're still stuck at Manticore. I want to forget. Just 'cause you cant doesn't mean you can plague us. You're only doing this 'cause you know Eva would kill you if you didn't." Jondy knew that was low but she couldn't care. Zack stepped away from her, his eyes unreadable. In the silence, the words of the song Die was singing floated in.
Cool Breeze and autumn leaves Slow motion daylight A lone pain of watchful eyes Oversees the living Feel the presence all around A tortured soul A wound unhealing No regrets or promises The past is gone But you can still be free If time will set you free
"Fine." He said finally. "I'll leave you alone."
Time now to spread your wings To take to flight The life endeavour Aim for the burning sun You're trapped inside But you can still be free If time will set you free But it's a long, long way to go
He stood staring for a few minutes then turned and walked away from her.
Sail through the wind and rain tonight You're free to fly tonight And you can still be free If time will set you free And go higher than the mountaintops And go where the wind don't stop And go high Free to fly tonight If time will set you free.
If she hadn't known him better, she would have sworn he looked hurt.
((
It was about two hours before sunset when Jondy was walking home. She was dirty and hungry. Jondy rarely got tired. She and Max didn't need much sleep and Jondy had only slept twelve hours in five weeks. She hadn't slept properly since she'd last seen Zack.
She was so consumed in thought that she didn't notice someone was watching her until the hair at the back of her neck prickled. She didn't look back. Lydecker said never to let your enemy know you were on to them. She almost laughed out loud at that.
Jondy was just turning into her street when they made a move. Twelve well- muscled men surrounded her.
"Hi girly. Need someone to walk u home?"
"No thanks." Jondy smiled. Kicking the arse a bunch of big fat losers would so improve her day.
"I don't think u understand me. It wasn't a question."
"Oh, that's to bad." Jondy smiled and she saw one of the younger members shiver. The group walked in, blocking of her way of running away. To bad for them. She didn't need to run away. One of them came up behind her. She struck him with her elbow in the groin. She heard a squeak and smiled with satisfaction. The ringleader advanced on her. Fuck. He had a blade. Ah well, she would have to break his wrist. The crack that issued was pleasing. Another guy ended up with his head connecting solidly with a brick wall. A forth and fifth ended up in much the same condition. These guys were a disappointment. She had been expecting a good fight.
"Fucking bitch." One of them yelled as Jondy took out his friend with her elbow. She stomped over.
"Didn't your mama ever tell you to treat a lady nice?" He spat blood on her shoe. She tsked and wiped her boot on his pants. "Not nice. I'm going to have to hurt you."
"You can't hurt me." Fucking male chauvinistic pig.
"Well, don't you just rate a supreme on the idiot scale. Look what I did to your friends." Jondy gestured to the other guys, some lying completely still. Others were groaning in pain. The guy took one look and ran. Jondy laughed at his fleeing form and headed home.
She knew she should have taken him down and she'd probably have to move out of LA now, but she really didn't care at the moment.
Just as Jondy was entering home she felt someone watching her.
"I thought I showed you what'd happen if you follow me home." She turned.
"You did." She relaxed.
"I thought you said you were going to leave me alone."
"I needed help." Jondy frowned, her eyes searching Zack out in the dark. When she saw him, she breathed in sharply.
"What the hell happened to you?"
"I'll explain later." Jondy walked over and helped a battered, bruised Zack up to her apartment.
((
He was settled in a chair and Jondy was checking his wounds.
"I'm fine." He muttered gruffly.
"I just want to make sure your not going to keel over and die on me." She saw the strange look on his face and pursed her lips. "Not that I care either way." She added.
"I bet you don't." she scowled and twisted his arm harder than was necessary.
"Aaarrhhgg." He growled. "What was that for?"
"Just wanted to see if it was broken." Jondy smiled innocently.
"It is now." She ignored him.
"So, what happened?" Zack bit his lip. "You said you needed my help, so you have to tell me what happened."
"I had a fight with Max." he wouldn't look at her. She pushed herself away from him.
"Max? You mean, she's alive?" He nodded and Jondy pounced at him, catching him by surprise and knocking him to the floor.
"How long have you know?" She growled.
"A few months." Jondy gripped his throat.
"And you didn't tell me."
"I was dangerous. You would have gone to see her."
"Damn right I would have. Where is she?" Zack glared but said nothing. She tightened her grip on his neck, he choked. "Tell me!" she commanded. Silence. "Damn you Zack! I'm going to kill you right here if you don't tell me!" as she yelled, she loosened her grip. Zack took the opportunity to flip her over on the ground and sit on top of her.
"I can't let you do that," he growled. "And I can't tell you where Max is. It doesn't matter anyway. She'll be dead or back at Manticore in a few hours." Jondy's eyes widened. Zack saw and continued. "I finally got her out of Seattle. But then she found out this guy she was in love with was in trouble. She went back to help. Problem is, Lydecker and his men are looking for her there. Fliers and everything. I can't let you go there to."
"We have to help her! We have to."
"We don't have to do anything. I'm going back for her."
"WHAT? You can't do that alone."
"I can and I will. Nothing is going to happen to the rest of you."
"But Lydecker. He'll catch you!"
"That's the plan." Jondy stared up at Zack, for once completely at a loss. He was going to get caught, for one of them.
"Why?" she asked slowly. Zack avoided her gaze. "It's Eva, isn't it? It's all about her." Zack again said nothing. Jondy laughed harshly. "What happened to emotion in dangerous, it'll get you killed. Never fall in love and never care about anyone. Be as horrible as possible but don't, under any circumstances, care."
"It stopped working. Anyway, it was Eva that taught me that. She knew I loved Max. I think she could see it." Jondy stared up into her brother's eyes and saw, maybe for the first time, the deep-set pain. She tried to process the new information.
"Does Max know how you feel?"
"No."
"Are you going to tell her?"
"No. It would get us both hurt."
"Fucking hell, Zack. That's what love is! Caring about someone hurts. It's part of the ride."
"I don't need that kind of pain right now. I have enough physical pain to last a lifetime."
"So that's it. You're just going to let her get away."
"Yep."
"You're dumber than I thought you were, Zack. Now, could you get off me?" Zack stood up, Jondy followed him. Zack stared at her for a moment then hugged her tightly.
"Look after yourself little sister. I'll have to come back here and kick you ass if you get into trouble." Jondy smiled, touched by the very unZack show of emotion.
"I'll count on it. Don't forget me when you're having fun at Manticore."
"Wouldn't dream of it. See ya.
"Bye." Zack left, closing the door on the way out. Jondy stood still for a minute, wondering if she would every see Zack again. "Come home, Big brother," she whispered.
She pushed her long, bottle blond hair behind her ears and surveyed herself in the dirty mirror. She wore jeans and a black top. Her skin was creamy and her eyes dark. With a sigh, she grabbed her large black bag and headed for work.
She worked nights, it was easier. When you were always running, it was good to work when few people would see you. Her job at the liquor store wasn't exactly a dream job but, hey, work was work and she needed it. She got on well with the guys she worked with. Which was a good thing, 'cause if she didn't, they'd be dead.
"Hi Arze." Grinned her co-worker, Luke as she entered. Everyone else had cleared of already. They had family to go home to.
"Hi. What do you want from me tonight?"
"Can you take the book work in the back." She frowned and cursed their lazy boss, who reckoned he didn't have to do anything if he could get one of his underpaid workers to do it. Luke saw her face and put on his best 'please' face. "Oh, please. You know what my maths is like. And you're so good at it." She rolled her eyes and smiled.
"Fine. But your sucking had nothing to do with it."
"Of course not." Luke had got to know her very well over the last two weeks. She had only been in Washington for a few weeks. It was obvious to him that she was running from something. He watched her walk into the back. Man, she was beautiful. But Luke knew better than to hit on her. The last unwanted proposition she had had, the guy had ended up in intensive care for a week.
Meanwhile, in the back, the woman Luke had called Arze, set herself up to work out the books. Her eye caught the phone and she knew she should check in. But she didn't want to. She knew what would happen if she did. Zack would come down here, guns blazing, literally, and uproot her and move her on to another place. She'd have to find a new place, a new job and a new identity. She was getting quite fond of Arze. She was stubborn and wilful, much like her real self. But Arze was fun and easygoing, as long as you didn't come on to her. She could remember when she had been Lily. It was almost a relief when Zack had told her to move on. Lily was a pain. She always followed orders and never argued. Lily also had this thing about having fun, like she'd die if she did. Her real self knew it was unhealthy to transform herself into a completely new person but it was easier to do if she believed it. It meant she could stop crying at night. She sighed and started to work.
((
The night was slow for Luke. No one was buying tonight.
"Excuse me." Began a voice. Luke jumped, he hadn't heard anyone come up. The guy before him was tall, blond, blue eyed and well muscled.
"Yeh,"
"I was looking for Arze."
"What do you want with her?"
"That's none of your business."
"I think it is."
"Are you a boyfriend?" Asked the stranger, crossing his arms.
"Heck no! Arze has this way with guys."
"What do you mean?"
"Well, the unlucky ones suffer severe brain damage or end up in wheelchairs. The lucky ones die."
"Really. So, you going to tell me where she is." It wasn't a question.
"Man, are you just dumb or want to get killed?" the stranger had finally had enough. He picked Luke up by the neck until he was a foot off the ground.
"Where is she?" His voice was harsh. Luke made a strangling noise and pointed to the back room. He felt himself be dropped and watched the stranger move away.
((
She had heard the whole exchange from the back room but hadn't moved. She was trying to hold her last minutes as Arze. Her last minutes before she would become someone new. She heard his footsteps, so soft yet commanding and she looked up at him.
"Zack." She greeted him, hiding all emotion behind a mask. Zack didn't like emotion. He couldn't handle it.
"Jondy." He returned the greeting. His voice was angry. She sighed and interrupted as he opened his mouth to say something cutting.
"You shouldn't move location without my approval or instruction and if you have to without clearing it with me first, you have to contact me and inform me of you new position. I know Zack, if you say it again, I'm not going to know it any better." Zack glared at her, those exact words dying on his lips.
"How come if you know it, you ignore it? A good solider does not."
"Shhh." Jondy interrupted. "Do you want the world to know?" She dragged him from the room.
"Sorry Luke, I have to take the rest of the night off. I'll make it up tomorrow."
"Sure thing." He grunted rubbing his throat.
((
Jondy's apartment was messy. The sort of messy a person who had spent their whole childhood being clean and was making up or it now. It had very little furniture and nothing bright. Jondy stuck to black. It was easiest.
Jondy flopped onto the floor and watched Zack. He paced back and forth, hands clasped behind him.
"When will you understand that I am trying to help you?" Jondy sighed. So he was going to do this again. For once, just once, she wished that he could at least pretend to understand.
"When will you understand that I am trying to ignore you? Take the hint and leave me alone." Her answer was snappy but too bad. He looked at her and something flicked in his eyes.
"Do you want to get recaptured? Do you want Manticore swarming all over this place?"
"Do you want a bloody nose, 'cause you're defiantly going the right way?"
"Cant you just try to understand my position as your CO."
"Cant you understand I just want a normal life?" Zack growled in his throat. It always went like this. Most of the others would listen and obey him. They understood he was just doing the best thing for them. But Jondy, she never liked him telling her what to do. She would always argue, then he'd get mad and tell her to do what she wanted, just not call on him when she was in trouble, then he'd come back later and find she'd already left. Even Max was easier to handle. She would listen then ignore him.
Zack sighed and sank into a chair. Jondy frowned. This was strange. Zack never changed. He would come to her work, they'd go to her place and he'd lecture. But he'd never sat down. He'd just pace until she would swear he was wearing the carpet out. Something was wrong.
"Zack?" She asked hesitantly, her voice concerned. "What's wrong?" he looked down at the carpet.
"Your carpet is filthy."
"So kill me. Stop avoiding the question. What's wrong?"
"Nothing."
"Bullshit. What do you take me for?"
"Think you're pretty smart, don't you."
"Well, I am the one with an IQ of 200."
"I'm sorry, forgive my ignorance." Jondy stared.
"Did I just hear you apologise? Ah, that's it. Lydecker, come and get me. Zack said he was sorry. You can put me in a cage and torture me now and I will still die happy."
"Haha, Very funny. Why don't you get a job as a comedian?"
"Hmmm, that's an idea. How's the pay?" Zack returned to staring at the carpet.
"Do you know the date, Jondy? Do you know what today is?" Jondy thought for a moment.
"Nope, give up. Tell me."
"Today is the day we escaped from Manticore eleven years ago." Jondy was silent for a minute.
"Eleven years. That's a long time."
"Yeah, eleven years of running. Of hiding. Eleven years of fucking escape and evade practise." Zack laughed bitterly. "And you know what the worst part of today is?"
"That we have to wait another year for our next Manticore birthday?"
"Today was the day Eva died." Zack buried his face in his hands, trying to regain his composure. Jondy moved to sit next to him. She knew that Eva and Zack had been the closest. Eva was a calming influence. They were the two leaders and had supported each other. Maybe they even loved each other. She realised with a jolt how much Eva's death must have affected Zack.
"She shouldn't have died." He muttered into his hands rousing her from her thoughts. "I shouldn't have let her die." Jondy frowned.
"You didn't."
"I did. I failed her. I should have." Zack was interrupted from his self pity by a sharp slap on the back of his head.
"Don't ever let me hear you wallow in self pity ever again. We all wish we'd done things differently but wishing doesn't change anything. She was protecting us and she only did it because she knew that if it ended for her, then you'd look after us. Eva was the logical one, remember. She never would have picked up that gun if she hadn't planed for every scenario she could think of. And she'd do exactly what I just did if she heard you like this." Zack stared into her fierce eyes
"I just miss her so much." He choked. Jondy softened and pulled him in until his head rested against her chest. He wrapped his arms around her and cried. She stroked his hair, just letting him cry. Jondy couldn't count the number of times he had done the same for her, when she'd had to leave a place she liked or after a run in with Manticore. She was just returning the favour.
Zack drew away and Jondy's breath caught in her throat. He looked so different. Not the same Zack she always saw as the Big brother. But someone else, someone who pretended to be tough but was at the same time venerable. It shone in his blue eyes. The eyes that were normally so misted over that they were unreadable.
She gently touched his face, trying to wipe tears from his cheeks. This was Zack, he couldn't be crying. Zack just didn't cry. Slowly, he reached up and took the hand resting against his cheek
"Thanks Jondy. I don't know what came over me. A good solider never lets emotion take over." She moved away.
"Do you every get tired of being a good solider, Zack?" there was no resentment in her voice. She sounded serious. She sounded old. Old and tired. He glanced at her.
"Of course not. I am a solider and."
"Don't lie to me Zack." Zack sighed.
"I'm nothing but tired. I'm tired of running, of looking over my shoulder to see if someone's there. I'm tired of being alone." Jondy took his hand. Maybe he understood better than she thought. "I'm tired of having to look out for everyone. Especially when none of you take any notice of what I say. I am your CO." Jondy sighed and let go of his hand. Detached Zack was back, his eyes once again emotionless. He stood up. "I want you out of here."
"No." Jondy answered simply.
"What?" Zack asked angrily.
"NO! You said you were tired of running. So am I."
"That doesn't mean you can stop!"
"I can try."
"No you can't. Lydecker will be all over this place soon. Just because you don't want to do something doesn't mean you can stop."
"How would you know? Have you tried?" cried Jondy. Zack turned away from her and she stood. "What is it?"
"I've tried! I've tried really hard. I've tried to forget everything and everyone. You all go one about wanting to be normal. So do I! But I realised that Manticore is just part of me. And there is nothing I can do about it. There is nothing you can do either!" Zack stomped away from her and out the door, slamming it in his wake. Jondy sunk back on the floor and buried her head in her hands.
((
She left Washington the next morning. There was little to pack and no one to say goodbye to. All she had was a bag of stuff and her bike. If there was one thing Jondy could never give up it was her bike. She loved the feel of wind in her hair. She loved the speed and adrenaline. It must an X5 thing. Zack loved his bike and he'd said the other had them too. Los Angeles sounded good at this time of year and Jondy had wanted to go black again. Blonde hair really didn't suit her.
((
Zack came to check on Jondy two weeks later. It was not surprising, but highly irritating, to find her gone. Now he would have to search for her all over again. Jondy was good at escape and evade. If she had been a pretty, blonde, stubborn bartender, she would be a pretty, dark, stubborn shop assistant. Jondy also never used the same name twice. One day she would be Kate the next Delilah. It was hard to keep up.
Zack swore and punched the door, accidentally putting his hand through it. He swore again and stomped out. He would have to look somewhere else.
((
Jondy tied her hair back making sure the scar that had only a few hours ago been a barcode, was hidden. She had it removed as often as she could afford it. This time as she went t work, she wore tight, black leather skirt, a midriff bearing black top decorated with silver studs and knee high black boots. She had got herself a job as a waitress in a sleazy bar and she had to look the part.
"Hi Seraya." Yelled Danny from behind the bar.
"Hi." She smiled and waved.
"What was wrong with your brother?" Danny asked. Jondy grinned. Krit and Syl had had a fight so Krit had come to cry on Jondy's shoulder. He'd also drunk enough to get an X5 horrible drunk. It was NOT a pleasant sight.
"Drowning his sorrows."
"Drowning doesn't even come close. I though he was going to flood the place." Danny laughed. He had come to know a few of Seraya's brothers over the last three weeks. It was quite a collection. They all looked so different. He'd met a few sisters too. Seraya seemed to get on with her brothers better than her sisters. But man, they were all fine.
Danny watched her greet Die, the bar singer then she grabbed her tray from behind the bar.
((
The bar started to fill up around nine. By ten, everything was in full swing. Die was singing and people were dancing. Jondy was talking to a few regulars when she saw Danny wave her over. A guy stood on the other side of the bar. His back was facing away from her so she couldn't see his face but that back was far to familiar. She sighed and walked over.
"Yeh Danny?" She asked, faking a smile.
"This here claims to be another of your bros." Jondy pouted.
"Another one?" Zack turned to look at her.
"Come here." Jondy dragged Zack into the back room. She glared at him. "What do you want?" she asked angrily. "I'm fine."
"I asked you to tell me where you were going."
"You know now. So leave me alone." Jondy glared enough to make Zack flinch. He grabbed her shoulder.
"What did he mean about others?"
"Me and the others started a band. They come around to practise." Jondy shrugged. Zack glared.
"Which ones?"
"Kirt, Ben, Syl, Zane and I saw Brin once."
"How did they know where you were?"
"I told them."
"You told them where you were going?"
"Yeah, so."
"You could have endangered them."
"Oh fuck off Zack. Your just mad I didn't tell you. Why don't you just leave me alone? I don't need your help. You are such a fucking prick. Just go way! You're still stuck at Manticore. I want to forget. Just 'cause you cant doesn't mean you can plague us. You're only doing this 'cause you know Eva would kill you if you didn't." Jondy knew that was low but she couldn't care. Zack stepped away from her, his eyes unreadable. In the silence, the words of the song Die was singing floated in.
Cool Breeze and autumn leaves Slow motion daylight A lone pain of watchful eyes Oversees the living Feel the presence all around A tortured soul A wound unhealing No regrets or promises The past is gone But you can still be free If time will set you free
"Fine." He said finally. "I'll leave you alone."
Time now to spread your wings To take to flight The life endeavour Aim for the burning sun You're trapped inside But you can still be free If time will set you free But it's a long, long way to go
He stood staring for a few minutes then turned and walked away from her.
Sail through the wind and rain tonight You're free to fly tonight And you can still be free If time will set you free And go higher than the mountaintops And go where the wind don't stop And go high Free to fly tonight If time will set you free.
If she hadn't known him better, she would have sworn he looked hurt.
((
It was about two hours before sunset when Jondy was walking home. She was dirty and hungry. Jondy rarely got tired. She and Max didn't need much sleep and Jondy had only slept twelve hours in five weeks. She hadn't slept properly since she'd last seen Zack.
She was so consumed in thought that she didn't notice someone was watching her until the hair at the back of her neck prickled. She didn't look back. Lydecker said never to let your enemy know you were on to them. She almost laughed out loud at that.
Jondy was just turning into her street when they made a move. Twelve well- muscled men surrounded her.
"Hi girly. Need someone to walk u home?"
"No thanks." Jondy smiled. Kicking the arse a bunch of big fat losers would so improve her day.
"I don't think u understand me. It wasn't a question."
"Oh, that's to bad." Jondy smiled and she saw one of the younger members shiver. The group walked in, blocking of her way of running away. To bad for them. She didn't need to run away. One of them came up behind her. She struck him with her elbow in the groin. She heard a squeak and smiled with satisfaction. The ringleader advanced on her. Fuck. He had a blade. Ah well, she would have to break his wrist. The crack that issued was pleasing. Another guy ended up with his head connecting solidly with a brick wall. A forth and fifth ended up in much the same condition. These guys were a disappointment. She had been expecting a good fight.
"Fucking bitch." One of them yelled as Jondy took out his friend with her elbow. She stomped over.
"Didn't your mama ever tell you to treat a lady nice?" He spat blood on her shoe. She tsked and wiped her boot on his pants. "Not nice. I'm going to have to hurt you."
"You can't hurt me." Fucking male chauvinistic pig.
"Well, don't you just rate a supreme on the idiot scale. Look what I did to your friends." Jondy gestured to the other guys, some lying completely still. Others were groaning in pain. The guy took one look and ran. Jondy laughed at his fleeing form and headed home.
She knew she should have taken him down and she'd probably have to move out of LA now, but she really didn't care at the moment.
Just as Jondy was entering home she felt someone watching her.
"I thought I showed you what'd happen if you follow me home." She turned.
"You did." She relaxed.
"I thought you said you were going to leave me alone."
"I needed help." Jondy frowned, her eyes searching Zack out in the dark. When she saw him, she breathed in sharply.
"What the hell happened to you?"
"I'll explain later." Jondy walked over and helped a battered, bruised Zack up to her apartment.
((
He was settled in a chair and Jondy was checking his wounds.
"I'm fine." He muttered gruffly.
"I just want to make sure your not going to keel over and die on me." She saw the strange look on his face and pursed her lips. "Not that I care either way." She added.
"I bet you don't." she scowled and twisted his arm harder than was necessary.
"Aaarrhhgg." He growled. "What was that for?"
"Just wanted to see if it was broken." Jondy smiled innocently.
"It is now." She ignored him.
"So, what happened?" Zack bit his lip. "You said you needed my help, so you have to tell me what happened."
"I had a fight with Max." he wouldn't look at her. She pushed herself away from him.
"Max? You mean, she's alive?" He nodded and Jondy pounced at him, catching him by surprise and knocking him to the floor.
"How long have you know?" She growled.
"A few months." Jondy gripped his throat.
"And you didn't tell me."
"I was dangerous. You would have gone to see her."
"Damn right I would have. Where is she?" Zack glared but said nothing. She tightened her grip on his neck, he choked. "Tell me!" she commanded. Silence. "Damn you Zack! I'm going to kill you right here if you don't tell me!" as she yelled, she loosened her grip. Zack took the opportunity to flip her over on the ground and sit on top of her.
"I can't let you do that," he growled. "And I can't tell you where Max is. It doesn't matter anyway. She'll be dead or back at Manticore in a few hours." Jondy's eyes widened. Zack saw and continued. "I finally got her out of Seattle. But then she found out this guy she was in love with was in trouble. She went back to help. Problem is, Lydecker and his men are looking for her there. Fliers and everything. I can't let you go there to."
"We have to help her! We have to."
"We don't have to do anything. I'm going back for her."
"WHAT? You can't do that alone."
"I can and I will. Nothing is going to happen to the rest of you."
"But Lydecker. He'll catch you!"
"That's the plan." Jondy stared up at Zack, for once completely at a loss. He was going to get caught, for one of them.
"Why?" she asked slowly. Zack avoided her gaze. "It's Eva, isn't it? It's all about her." Zack again said nothing. Jondy laughed harshly. "What happened to emotion in dangerous, it'll get you killed. Never fall in love and never care about anyone. Be as horrible as possible but don't, under any circumstances, care."
"It stopped working. Anyway, it was Eva that taught me that. She knew I loved Max. I think she could see it." Jondy stared up into her brother's eyes and saw, maybe for the first time, the deep-set pain. She tried to process the new information.
"Does Max know how you feel?"
"No."
"Are you going to tell her?"
"No. It would get us both hurt."
"Fucking hell, Zack. That's what love is! Caring about someone hurts. It's part of the ride."
"I don't need that kind of pain right now. I have enough physical pain to last a lifetime."
"So that's it. You're just going to let her get away."
"Yep."
"You're dumber than I thought you were, Zack. Now, could you get off me?" Zack stood up, Jondy followed him. Zack stared at her for a moment then hugged her tightly.
"Look after yourself little sister. I'll have to come back here and kick you ass if you get into trouble." Jondy smiled, touched by the very unZack show of emotion.
"I'll count on it. Don't forget me when you're having fun at Manticore."
"Wouldn't dream of it. See ya.
"Bye." Zack left, closing the door on the way out. Jondy stood still for a minute, wondering if she would every see Zack again. "Come home, Big brother," she whispered.
