This story uses language which some may find offensive.
I have written it in the Irish dialect.
'Me= my and 'mam' is mother. I am sure you know already
The Life of Tommy Ryan
The only person to call me Tommy was me sister. Me mam refused to call me by a shortened name, so Thomas was all I heard, all bloody day. Me dad had died when I was about twelve, I didn't really think about it until I was old enough to be grateful for what he did for me and me sister.
We lived in poverty for most of our lives. Ireland was all I was and all I would ever be. The thought of leaving those rolling green hills made me heart break but me sister was pregnant by some fuckin' bastard who she had fallen in love with. He had money, of course he did but she would never see a penny of it. Sharon was eighteen and due to have a baby in a few weeks but he had left her as soon as he found out she was the only man she'd had, so there was nowhere else to lay the blame and he found another woman to suck on his dick.
The first thing I did to the faggot was drag him by his fancy collar from the pub where he drank and beat the shit out of him but that just upset Sharon. Me mam didn't let me hear the end of it either. It didn't solve anything and money was growing tighter and tighter. Sharon was showing, her belly so big she couldn't walk and she was sick all the way through. She wasn't allowed to work, employers laughed in her face. Me mam worked when she could here and there but the thing was her back was breaking. I was working all hours God sent to feed three mouths and I went without so my family could eat.
And so I had made a decision. I was going to leave Ireland.
I left me mam a note one morning. I couldn't face seeing her cry and I walked out the door. I left them twenty pounds, enough money I hoped to feed them until the bairn was here. I wasn't proud of it but I had knicked a few pounds from the pubs savings. I would pay it back when I reached America but I needed to buy me passage aboard a ship. Not just any ship though...the bloody Titanic!
She was grand, she was. I had a feeling life would look up after this. She gleamed and shone as she sat in Queenstown docks. I ran aboard, found myself sharing a cabin with three other men but the bed was comfier than my own bed at home, which had been the coal house floor. The room had running water in a sink and I washed me face and scrubbed me fingernails for the first time in months. I felt like I had become one of those snob bastards just by having a good wash.
The food was brilliant. The beers tasted better than the beer back home. I had a few quid spare to get me going when I got to America. I saved bits of food in me backpack for when I got there; some sandwiches and biscuits. I was given ten rolled up cigarettes by the Armenian guy sharing my berth. I didn't know that was even a country until he told me all about it over card playing one night and he had been living in Ireland for seven years. He could speak good English and understood my dialect. He introduced me to an Italian, Fabrizio and his friend Jack, an American.
I had a feeling Jack would bring me some luck. He was native and would know the ins and outs and where to find work. Some places I heard didn't hire Irish but Jack knew places where I would earn money. Fabrizio seemed to think he was destined to work in America, he was naive and seemed to follow his friends lead but he was harmless.
Jack had fallen in love with a posh woman from America. Rose something her name was and boy, she was fair. I could see why he had fallen so hard.
''Amore is not logical.'' Fabrizio had warned him. But I had warned him that although she was a goddess among mortal men, Jack was not being logical. Just as Fabrizio had said. She had closed the door on him after turning him down and told him to leave her alone and he should forget her. He wouldn't though, he was too much in love with her.
I was impressed with Jackie for pulling someone so beautiful. She was a lovely lass, we had shared a beer or two one night and that was the night I was grateful for the most.
At night, I lay and thought of me mam and Sharon back home. I hoped they hadn't took me leaving too hard. I missed them both and part of me felt as though I was doing the wrong thing leaving my country but the truth was America would have so much to offer me. I hatched the plan in me head to work there for a couple of years and make enough money for me mam and sister for a long time. I would send it over in bits so they could buy the bairn some clothes and food and I could send post cards from wherever I landed.
Sharon had cradled her belly and prayed for a boy and so did I. But, I can imagine a lass with red hair and a fiery temper just like her mam and our mam as well.
A tear came from nowhere. I was a soft bastard at times but I loved me family and me country. I told myself I was doing this for them.
I felt something shake me gently and then a grinding noise. It made me nervous. I had never jumped up as fast in me life. I dressed quickly and ran out into the corridor. Water was coming up towards me. A family of rats followed. I grabbed me backpack as quick as I could and started towards Fabrizio and Jack's berth.
My Armenian friend had gone already. I had been alone and I was glad to be awake so late. Fabrizio was just leaving his berth and he asked what was going on. We followed the rats, people were awake and packing together their stuff. We must be sinking! The unsinkable ship.
I found a crowded stairwell and pushed through. The guards had guns, locking us up like fuckin' animals. Just because we didn't have money!
We met Jack and Rose below decks as the place was flooding. The water was freezing, worse than the cold Irish winters. Fabrizio started panicking but I kept my calm, just. I could feel my anger boiling over when we found another gate guarded by more fuckin' guards. Jack lost his rag and so did I. We bashed a wooden bench through the gate to be told we still couldn't go through it. I punched the man, he went down like a sack of spuds he did. I don't know who they think they are.
The boats had filled up fast, we had been locked downstairs for too long. I had lost my backpack and only had a few pounds left in my pocket. I had a lifejacket though, I wasn't going to die on a bloody sinking ship! I would get to America even if it was on a lifeboat! The band up in first class kept plucking at their strings, calm as a breeze and acted like people weren't going to die around them. The music was the most depressing thing I had heard, an Irish jig would have lightened the mood there...
Jack and Rose parted ways with me and Fabrizio. I didn't know I wouldn't see them again. They were so in love, it made me think of what future I had in America. Would I meet a nice lass out there? I hope to meet Irish lasses but I hear American ones are just a fair. Mammy would go spare if I married a girl who wasn't from Ireland.
We found William Murdoch surrounded by a group of angry men. He threatened us all with a pistol, saying we should get back from the boat which he was lowering. We all wanted to be aboard and we deserved it so I just don't see why he didn't load us all as quick as he could instead of faffing around with the stupid gun showing his authority. Murdoch threw a wad of bills at a posh bloke and then shot at another. Then, I realised that it was real.
I knew there and then this man like to think he had some authority. I was pushed from behind, I stepped forward without meaning to and then, that was it.
Bang.
I lost consciousness.
My last vision was Fabrizio, he cried and shouted in Italian and then I heard another gun shot and something splashing in the water. The blood stained the deck and then I felt the last ounce of life drop from my body.
I thought of me mam and dad and of our Sharon and me playing in the fields in Ireland. I would never see it again.
