Title: 1135 miles

Pairing: Addek

Rating: M for later chapters

Disclaimer: I don´t own any of the characters from Grey´s anatomy or Private Practice, I´m only playing with them and I promise to give them back later...

Spoilers: An honest mistake/ Season Five/ Grey´s Anatomy

Summary:

It´s a 1135 miles drive from Seattle to L.A. but will it be enough for Addison and Derek to finally say all the things that have remained unsaid between them so far?

Addison stepped out of Joe´s, still smiling at the expression on Miranda Bailey´s face the moment she had handed her the recommendation letter.

It was a nice feeling that she had it within her power to actually do something that important for the people close to her, the way Miranda had looked at her, almost speechless with gratitude would be one of the few good memories Addison would take back to L.A. this time.

Even though she had known that it would be hard to face Derek again, the feeling of absolute agony when he had looked at her with those sad eyes while their friends were singing their stupid wedding son had still taken her by surprise and after that it had turned much worse, today had turned into an emotional roller coaster when Derek had first yelled at her in the OR, then fought with Mark on the gallery, Alex holding her back and telling her that it wasn´t her concern any more, that he was Meredith´s guy now.

She had decided that Seattle Grace´s pediatrician was more than able to look after the premie up in the nursery and booked a plane ticket back to L.A. and written the letter of recommendation for Miranda while waiting until it was time to go to the airport.

She closed the door behind her and drew a deep breath, she simply couldn´t wait to get back to Southern California.

"Addison."

She hesitated briefly, then kept on walking towards her rental car, leaving Derek to hurry after her.

"Addison, please, just wait, ok?"

She turned around to face him, the last thing she needed was to make a spectacle of her herself in the hospital parking lot and considering what has happened between him and Mark earlier, he doesn´t either.

"What do you want, Derek?"

She was surprised how tired she sounded, it had not even been 24 hours since she had been telling her friends how Archer´s operation has put everything into a new perspective for her, she was full of determination to finally make a new start and put the pieces of her life together and now here she was, feeling completely exhausted, both physically and emotionally and once again it was all his fault.

"I need to talk to you."

He was wearing jeans and his old leather jacket, his hair was tousled and he looked as bad as she felt.

"I don´t want to talk to you ever again, Derek."

She unlocksed her car and threw her purse onto the seat and when she straightened up again he was right in front of her, his body trapping her´s to the side of the car.

"Derek, please, I´m exhausted and I´m late for my flight."

"Cancel it."

"Excuse me?"

She stared at him, disbelieving, trying to figure out what was going on in his mind.

"Cancel it, Addie, I´ve been suspended for two weeks and you don´t have to work until Monday, let´s drive."

"Drive?"

"Drive- it´s only 1135 miles to L.A., I´ve looked it up."

She laughed for she honestly didn´t know what else to do.

"Drive to L.A.? With you? Are you drunk?"

He shook his head, finally stepping back, giving her some space.

"You said you put me into this tiny box- I´ve realized something about it."

"What´s that?"

She asked, despite herself.

"I realized that I could run and run flat out for the rest of my life and never reach a wall of it."

Addison looked at him, suddenly fully understanding how much he still meant to her and that she would never get over him until she had really had a chance to say what she had wanted to tell him for so long, to really come clean about their marriage and that she had waited all this time for him to finally be ready for that as well.

"Fine, let´s do it."

He simply noded and held out his hand and she give him the key, she trusted him more than herself right now, she felt too vulnerable and emotional to be content about driving.

She got into the passenger seat and then they were driving, leaving Seattle Grace Hospital behind him and for a moment, just a tiny, little moment Addison allowed herself the perfect fantasy that their destination wash´t L.A. but New York, that they were´t divorced and that he loved her again.