A/N: lol This story is completely random. I'm a huge fan of the Chibi Prussia Diaries by Arkham-Insanity on dA, and I wanted to make a story with little Prussia/Gilbert because I love cute stuff! 'Cept, I put him in a completely different scenario with an adult Romano to take care of him. I don't even know so, cool story bro, to whomever reads this. xD
Romano continuously felt a slight prick against his face as he slept in his warm bed. He thought it was just in his dream, so he didn't even stir. Each time, however, it became more annoying and he was unable to bear it any longer. He groaned as he finally decided to awaken himself from his random dream and lazily opened his eyes. Almost immediately, something struck him right in the center of his left eye and he sat up, cursing from the pain.
"I've startled the enemy!" said a childish voice, as Romano saw a small figure jump from the bed and disappear from sight.
"What the hell..?" he glanced to his side and found that his boyfriend, Prussia, was no longer lying there like he was last night.
Small footsteps scurried across the hardwood floor over to his side of the bed. When he glanced down, he caught a glimpse of an unexplainable sight with his uninjured eye.
"Take this!" said the voice again, coming from the mouth of a small white haired boy that stood near the side of the bed. He lifted up the wire hanger that was tightly clutched in his little pale hands, and threw it at Romano's face.
"Ow! What the - Who are you? How the hell did you get in here and where's Prussia?" Romano looked around the room to find the guy no where in sight.
All he knew was that some little brat was running around his room yelling nonsense and throwing things at him.
"Gilbird! I need reinforcements! Attack the beast!" the child yelled, as the bird on his head flew up into the air before landing on the nightstand. "Gilbird? Traitor! Fine, looks like the fate of this battle is in the hands of the awesome me!"
"Awesome?" Romano said, as he blocked a wristwatch that was thrown at him. Looking at the boy closely, he perfectly resembled Prussia, except he was very short and actually pretty cute, since he was obviously really young.
"It can't be.." his eyes widened when he thought of a certain possibility, watching as the boy went to find more ammo to throw at him.
"Amazing, huh?" came a mysterious voice.
Romano looked around the room and down at the floor but couldn't find the source of it.
"Up here!" he looked up to find a small pixie-like figure, flying above his head then landing on the empty pillow next to him.
"Who the hell are you supposed to be?" Romano asked, as the fairy continued to stare at him.
"I'm Britannia Angel! And I granted your wish," it said, smiling as Romano frowned in disbelief.
"Did I seriously drink that much wine last night?" he said, scratching his head as he stared at the delusion next to him. He didn't remember drinking more than one glass, and he sure as hell doesn't do drugs. So he must have been still asleep. A dream within a dream, he concluded. Whatever it was, he hoped that he would awaken soon and be freed from the stinging pain in his eye that he'd been attacked in.
"No, I just said I made your wish come true! You can thank me anytime now," said Britannia.
"What wish are you talking about?" he asked, deciding to go along with this odd scenario in order to get this stupid dream over with. When he would wake up, he'd tell Prussia all about it then get laughed at.
"The wish you made last night! You claimed that the man with white hair and red eyes acted just like a child, and that you wish you could've seen him as an actual child. You betted that he would probably be almost as egotistical and annoying as his current self!" Britannia explained, pointing to the small child that ran into the closet to plot new battle strategies.
Romano continued to stare, until he frowned and thought this was totally ridiculous. While it was true that Prussia was very immature sometimes, he still loved him to death. It was also true that he had wished such things the night before. Still, what wasn't true was that it had become reality. There's no way in hell that pixie fairies, angels or whatever crap this thing is, was real. Those things are just fantasy, just like a man physically changing into a little brat.
"So, when's the part where you say something even more stupid, and then you leave? I'd like to wake up now," Romano groaned as he rolled his eyes at the previous stupid explanation.
"It's not a dream! See," Britannia lifted his little wand and jabbed Romano in his other eye, as if it wasn't already bad enough that one eye was screwed up. He swiftly dodged Romano's flailing arms as he tried to swat him from being such a douche.
"Stop abusing my damn eyes!" Romano yelled, wiping away the painful tears on his face.
"I have to go now, someone else needs my help. Bye~"
"Wait! If this bullshit you speak of is true, by chance, how the hell do I turn him back?"
"Hm.. I don't know. When you figure it out, tell me!" and with that poor information, the little nuisance of an angel disappeared into thin air.
"Damn it, useless bastard. At least take the kid with you!" Romano cursed as he got out of bed. Since this supposedly wasn't a dream, it must mean that he has finally went insane. About time, too, because he's always been around bastards his entire life and it's a wonder how he didn't lose his sanity much sooner.
"Full force attack!" all of a sudden, the little annoyance from earlier came charging out of the closet and bumped into Romano's legs. He weakly whacked at the obstacle in front of him with a striped tie he found in the closet before Romano picked him up.
"Look, you little brat. I seem to be losing my mind so I don't need you yelling and running around the damn house to make it worse. Now, where did I keep those pills.." he said, as he carried the boy into the bathroom and searched through his medicine cabinet.
"You're lucky my awesome army of birds aren't here! I could take you down so easily," the boy said, as he struggled in Romano's tight grip.
"Shut it, or I'll drop you in the toilet," he warned, picking up a bottle and shoving multiple tablets into his mouth.
"….I have to use it."
"What?"
"Pee! I gotta pee!"
"Fine, hold on!" Romano quickly set him back down onto the floor and in front of the toilet.
"I can't do it when you're looking! Leave!" he whined, dancing around in a circle to try and hold the contents in his bladder.
"Whatever, just hurry up!" Romano exited the room and stood outside of the door. After a couple minutes went by and all was silent, he grew suspicious. He knocked on the door but there came no answer so he quickly opened it.
"What's going on-"
"Ahah! Victory is mine!" he yelled, spraying Romano with a can of shaving cream and stabbing his leg with a bottle of shampoo.
"Ack! That's it, I'm tired of your damn games."
Little Prussia wriggled around on the couch, trying to get loose but failing. Romano had taken a roll of tape and taped his mouth shut. He then tied his hands and legs up with spare ties he had and tossed him on couch before leaving the room to make an urgent phone call.
"Who the hell would I call about this.." Romano said to himself as he held the phone. He thought about calling a psychiatrist, but he didn't feel like spending hours a week trying to cure his craziness, nor did he feel like living in an insane asylum. He decided to call the first number at the top of his head.
After a while of staring at the struggling figure on the couch, the doorbell rang and Romano darted towards the front door to answer it.
"Finally, you're…you brought that bastard with you?" Romano glared at the two in front of him. Veneziano smiled and gave him a big hug as Germany awkwardly bowed his head before they entered the home.
"I thought it would be a good idea! You sounded so distressed on the phone, I didn't think I would be able to handle you on my own," Veneziano explained as he walked towards the living room. At first he'd thought his brother had had a mental breakdown. However, his eyes widened when he saw the little boy on the couch that Romano had oddly explained on the phone, even though he wasn't making any sense during their short little conversation before Romano told him to just get his ass over to his house right then.
"See! I'm not crazy, you can see him too, right? Even the potato bastard can see him!" Romano yelled, as he went over and removed the tape from the boy's mouth.
"So you've called for backup, huh? Well I can call for mine, too!" the boy said, as he began to imitate bird chirping sounds to call Gilbird. The other three only stared with their mouths open.
"Like I said on the phone, he doesn't seem to remember who I am or anything, really. It's like he's gone back to the days before he became the Teutonic Knights. He thinks this is some sort of battle and it's really annoying," Romano said as he rubbed his throbbing head.
Veneziano walked over to the still chirping boy and picked him up.
"He's so cute! Since he's not a nation yet, that means his name is still Gilbert, right? You're so cute, Gilbert!" Veneziano exclaimed, as he tightly hugged the confused boy in his arms.
"..How can you be so nonchalant about this whole thing? !" Romano yelled, then groaning and falling back onto the couch. It seems the stupid pills didn't work at all.
Veneziano handed Gilbert to a speechless and equally shocked Germany, then sat next to Romano on the couch to put a hand on his forehead.
"Are you alright? How do you feel?" he asked.
"My stupid boyfriend got turned into a damn kid, I'm feeling perfect. So damn perfect," Romano growled, feeling as if he was going to pass out. As if Prussia wasn't hard enough to deal with before, now Romano had to babysit until he figured out how to reverse the dumb wish; or as he saw it, the dumb curse.
"This guy is kinda s-scary.." Gilbert said, as he winced from Germany intently examining his body.
"Germany, you have to be gentle with children. Smile and always be nice!" Veneziano explained, as he took a piece of candy from his pocket and handed it to Gilbert.
"Is that so?" Germany said, as he tried to force a smile. If he thought too long on this odd matter, he'd no doubt go insane. He needed to stay as sane as possible in order to focus on his work, which had piled up over the past week.
"Like hell I'd do that," Romano hissed, standing up and towering over the small child. "Listen here, you're under my roof, in my house. That means you will do what I say, and when I say it, until I find that stupid pixie and change you back!"
Gilbert only stared up at him in confusion.
"So I'm your henchman?" he asked.
"Uhh.. yeah, I guess you are. So you'd better listen to me!"
"But, you're not even good at fighting.. Oh well, I guess I can give some of my awesomeness to you, boss!" Gilbert shrugged and got on one knee to pledge his loyalty.
"Yeah, whatever.. and don't call me boss."
"Master."
"No no, that's just wrong.."
"Your highness?"
"Call me.. Godfather. Yes, that's good for now," Romano smirked, feeling almighty for bossing a kid around. For the first time, it was going to be him that was giving orders! Even after he'd left Spain when he became independent, he still felt like the underdog because of his brother. But now, he had someone that would look up to him and his authority. Or perhaps, he was just taking this whole thing way too seriously.
"Will my brother be alright? Maybe we should call in a group of top notch scientists and get a scientific explanation for this," Germany suggested, as he brought out his cell phone.
"What the hell are scientists going to do? They'll just take me to the crazy house and put him in an orphanage. Even you guys thought I was crazy at first. I'll take care of this myself," Romano said, as he finished untying Gilbert's hands.
"What should we do to help? I wanna help!" Veneziano said.
"Hm.. go interrogate that British jerk, surely he knows something about this. After all, I know that stupid fairy thing was his doing."
"Huh? England? But, he's scary! And a meanie!" Veneziano whined, shaking his head.
"We can't play the blame game just yet. We don't know for sure, so we'll just go ask him about it. In the meanwhile, please take good care of him," Germany said, as he dragged Veneziano out of the house.
"Now, what to do with you?" Romano said, glancing towards Gilbert. He'd never even imagined taking care of a kid, he didn't even know the first thing about them. They were annoying, loud, and trouble makers, so he never bothered with them. It was fun to watch the young children in Sicily play outside in the warm summer, but that was different because he wasn't the one taking care of them.
"I'm hungry! Where is the food? I like potato salad!" Gilbert yelled, running around the room to find anything edible.
"Shit, it's lunch time now.. I used the last of the noodles two nights ago, we'll have to go to the grocery store. First and foremost, we need to find you some clothes that actually fit," Romano said, as Gilbert was still wearing a nightshirt that fitted him like a long gown and dragged along the floor.
Romano rummaged through an old trunk in the attic until he found a pair of his old clothing from centuries ago. He dusted them off and examined their condition. A little worn out, but still cute nonetheless, he thought to himself as he held them up against Gilbert's frame. A perfect fit, too!
"Put these on," he said, handing them to Gilbert who only frowned.
"But, these are sissy girly clothes! I need awesome clothing or I can't fight!" Gilbert whined, dropping the items on the floor.
"These are mine from when I was little, and they're not girly! You're going to put them on and you're not going to complain."
Gilbert shook his head and turned around to walk out.
"Not so fast," Romano swiftly took him by the hand and removed the nightshirt, then slid his old small long-sleeved shirt over Gilbert's fidgeting head. "We're not going to a fight, we're just going to the damn store so stop being a brat."
When he finally got Gilbert fully dressed, they exited the house and Romano drove to the store. Every single thing they passed on the way there intrigued the younger boy, and Romano had to repeatedly grab him so that he wouldn't run off and get lost. Entering the store, he grabbed a basket and went straight to the isle of noodles. He couldn't decide if he should get the cheaper kind with lower quality, or the more expensive but the taste was satisfactory. Suddenly, he noticed his basket was getting full even though he hadn't put anything in it yet.
"What do you think you're doing?" he asked, as Gilbert stuffed more junk into the basket.
"We need this stuff, don't worry I know what to choose!" Gilbert explained, putting a random box of chocolates in the basket and running to get more treats.
"We're not going to eat junk for dinner! We came here for one thing and I've got it. Put this crap back."
"But, but! We need it! This is awesome food chosen by the Gods!" Gilbert whined, as Romano refused to let him throw a bag of chips into the basket.
"No, that's just a bunch of sugar. So do as I say and put them back."
"Nein! I love them!"
"I said no, and that's final!"
"Please, Godfather! Please!" Gilbert yelled back, causing everyone in the general area to stare in confusion at the two.
"..Fine, ONE! Just choose one, and if you finish your food later I might let you have it," Romano gave in, trying his best to avoid the many stares from all directions.
"Awesome!" Gilbert smiled mischievously as he took everything out of the basket except for the rice krispie treats.
Romano hoped this would be the last of the absurdity, but once they left the store after buying the couple items, Gilbert found something else of great interest.
"Godfather, look! A wild stallion has appeared!" he shouted, pointing to the very small merry-go-round on the side of the store.
"That's nice, now come on."
"We have to catch it! It will be my noble steed that I shall use in future battles against the world!" Gilbert ran over to the small machine and quickly mounted on the fake horse before Romano could protest.
"Why isn't it moving?" he said, frowning as he slapped the horse on the rear.
"It's a machine. That means it's not real and it costs a quarter to make it move," Romano watched in amusement as Gilbert yelled at the horse to move.
"That's it! Let me use this 'quarter' thing and I'll be able to ride off into the sunset!"
"Nope. We don't have time for that crap, this pasta will take a while to make and I'm hungry as hell, so let's go home now."
"I can never give up! My awesomeness forbids me," he continuously messed with the machine before getting up and kicking it.
"Whatever, I'm leaving. Bye," Romano waved and walked off.
"Hold on! Wait for your henchman!" Gilbert cried out, rushing over to follow Romano to the car.
After a long preparation, Romano successfully cooked and finished the pasta without even having to push Gilbert out of the kitchen more than ten times. He laid out a small bowl and fork on the table for Gilbert to use so that he wouldn't make a mess. The kid quickly ran to the dining room as Romano picked him up and placed him on a chair stacked with books so that he could reach the table. His big grin changed to a pout when he saw the food, and he continued to stare at it in disgust.
"Eat your pasta before it gets cold," Romano said.
"It looks like worms. I want potato salad! Can you make chicken stew?"
"Eat the damn pasta or starve. I'm not making you anything else!"
"Nein! I want wurst! Wurst! Wurst!" Gilbert shouted, pounding his small fists on the table as he continued to chant.
Romano loudly groaned as he held his head in frustration. He'd been constantly going back and forth with this kid all day, and it wasn't like his usual arguments with adults. Gilbert seemed oblivious to Romano's anger and disapproving glares, so no matter what he said or did, nothing really mattered.
"Won't you please just eat it? You like this stuff, I make it for you all the time. If you don't eat it, you can't have your treats we bought earlier," Romano said, tired of yelling. He picked up the small fork and tried to feed a bit of the pasta to Gilbert, who finally stopped chanting and stared at it. After a couple seconds, his hungry stomach turned on him and he opened his mouth to welcome the food.
"It's good, right?" Romano asked, feeding him a second fork full.
"Ja! You're not so bad, Godfather," Gilbert smiled, as he swiftly scooped the food into his mouth.
"Yeah, yeah. By the way, stop calling me Godfather. It's more annoying than I thought and people stare when you shout it out like that."
"Then what should I call you, Godfather?"
"Just call me Romano like you usually do. I mean, like you usually did.. just call me Romano," he said, starting to miss the way things used to be. Sure, Gilbert was cute and just as loud as he is when he was Prussia, but kids seriously weren't his style. He missed having leisurely time with his boyfriend and going out to fine restaurants to drink together.
"Romano, give me my treats now!" Gilbert yelled, as he had completely cleared his plate from food.
"Alright, calm down," Romano reached into a cabinet in the kitchen and brought out one treat. Gilbert quickly grabbed it and chewed on it in delight. He seriously was so freaking adorable after all, Romano thought.
Until it was bath time.
"I don't like baths!" Gilbert yelled, splashing the water everywhere as Romano struggled to wash his body.
"Stop moving, damn it! You're getting water on the floor and on me!" he sighed and poured some water over Gilbert's head to wash out the shampoo.
"When I get big, I'm going to put you in the bathtub and see how you like it!"
"You already have.." Romano blushed, and shook his head. Now was not the time to think about such things.
"Look out! The enemy is in sight!" Gilbert said, as he played with a rubber duck and splashed around the bubbles.
"You really do like this kind of stuff, huh?" Romano asked, as he watched Gilbert have his own imaginary battle.
"Ja! When I'm a nation, I'm going to get rid of all the bad guys and take over everything! The world will be covered in awesome! Vati says so," he said, putting the bubbles on his face to make a big beard.
"Vati?"
"Mhm. He is mean sometimes but he always makes good food and he taught me how to hunt! I wonder what he'll think when he finds out you captured me. You'd better hide when that happens," he smirked, imagining Romano getting his ass kicked.
Romano thought for a second in confusion before he understood who the boy was talking about. His mind must have really been completely stuck in the old days now that he was a kid again.
"You mean your grandfather, Germania? Oh, but he's been dead for a long ass time now."
Gilbert's happy expression died as he turned to him and stared with quivering eyes, instantly making Romano deeply regret what he had just said.
"Vati? D-Dead…?"
"No! I meant.. Uhh, he's away! Yeah, he's been really busy conquering the world and stuff. So I'm taking care of you until he gets back?" he lied.
"Oh.. that makes sense! He and that old guy, Rome, always go out for long periods of time!" Gilbert smiled finally, as Romano sighed with relief.
"Yeah, sure. It's time to get out now."
Surprisingly, it wasn't hard to get Gilbert dried off and dressed into a pair of pajamas Romano found that fit him, well slightly fit him. The boy must've been tired so he didn't put up a fight when it was time for bed, but he still needed his favorite bedtime remedy, of course. He excitedly climbed into the big bed and shoved a book into Romano's arms.
"Read it, it looks awesome."
"This? Seriously, it's so long! I can't possibly read the entire story in one night. Besides, this isn't for kids. It's far from a children's book," Romano shook his head and laid his copy of 'The Godfather' on the nightstand.
"Since you read it already, tell me what happens! Some of it, at least? I need to know!"
"But-"
"Please! I love it!" Gilbert continued to whine.
"Stop saying you love something just because you want it! That's completely misusing the word love. But, fine, I'll tell you the story.." he sighed, as he began the tale. He exchanged some of the explicit events with fairytales and dragons, crap like that. After a while, he didn't even know what story he was talking about, it was so screwed up.
"Wow! That was intense, I want to be strong like that Michel Corlin guy, except when he got his own brother killed by the Don Dragon," Gilbert said, as he yawned and snuggled closer to Romano.
"Michael Corleone. Now get some rest, we're going out tomorrow," Romano corrected him, and raised the blanket to keep them warm.
Gilbert quickly fell asleep, occasionally mumbling random words in his sleep and fidgeting around a bit. He was even more adorable now that he wasn't yelling or attacking anything. Romano supposed he would be able to hold out just a while longer, in order to change Gilbert back into his usual self. Hopefully it would be soon, because he preferred being taken care of instead of being the one to do the caring. There was no way he was going to have any type of relationship with a kid, and he wasn't going to raise one as if he was Spain. Tomorrow, he'd find a remedy even if he had to ask every other nation in the world.
The next morning, Romano quickly learned a lesson of parenthood: make the child use the toilet before going to bed.
A/N: Hmm, this is kind of like a break from my usual type of stories. I'm coming up with another Prumano romance fic, and I need extra time and ideas on it; but since I'm so obsessed with writing I'm gonna make this story up with random chapters once in awhile to calm my urges...
