I do not own Danny Phantom or Star Wars.

Frog Dissection

Danny, Sam, and Tucker gathered around their usual lab table. "I hate dissection day," grumbled Tucker. "It's disgusting."

Sam scowled. "It's more than disgusting! This is murder! This is sick! This is so wrong!"

Danny sighed wearily. "Then why are you here?"

"I need the mark," muttered Sam. "And my last attempt to free the frogs went horribly wrong."

"I know." Tucker scowled. "I have the scar to prove it."

Poluka rapped a ruler on his desk, causing every head to swing to face him. "Alright, class. Send one person up to get your frog and put on your safety gear. Follow the procedure sheet and get started. Remember, this counts as ten percent of your final grade."

"Wait a minute, ten percent?" cried Sam. "If I knew it was that low, I wouldn't have even come!"

"Tucker, go get the frog," ordered Danny.

Scowling, Tucker took off his thick spectacles and snapped the plastic safety goggles over his green eyes. He shuffled to the front of the class as Danny laid out the scalpel, pins, and scissors. Sam watched in disgust as Poluka handed out the frogs. Tucker wrinkled his nose and carried the dead bullfrog over to his group.

"It's so stiff!" Dash cried from the other end of the room.

The class burst out laughing. Sam groaned. "That sounds so wrong."

"That's why it's funny," said Danny.

Tucker laid the frog out in the black tray that was provided to them and Danny pinned it down.

"Hey, what if we open the stomach and a fly comes out?" wondered Tucker.

"Tucker!" snapped Sam.

Danny snickered and lifted the small pair of silver scissors. "Okay, guys. Let's try to focus. What do we have to do?"

Tucker picked up the procedure sheet. "Frog organs are similar to human organs, especially the sex organs."

"There's a difference! Ours are much bigger," Sam pointed out.

"Sam!" hissed Danny. "Seriously!"

Tucker cracked up, smacking the tabletop with the palm of his hand. "Gross! Geez, Sam."

Sam shrugged. "What? It's true. There's a quite the difference in size."

Danny rolled his eyes as Tucker's laughter increased. "Can we please get on track here?"

"Okay, okay." Tucker managed to calm himself down. "We now have to slit the frog's jaw hinges and open up the mouth. We have to observe what's inside."

Danny obeyed, snipping away the skin and prying open the mouth. "Okay, I see some teeth, the tongue, what else?"

Tucker scanned the sheet. "That's it. Next we gotta cut open the stomach and study the insides. Oh! I'll do it!"

Tucker grabbed the scissors from Danny and shoved him aside. He gently cut a straight line down the middle of the stomach and peeled back the skin with the tweezers.

"Aaagghhh!" Sam and Danny plugged their noses. "That's disgusting!"

A foul smell spread across the room as the other students slit open their frogs. Everyone cried out in disgust as the horrible odour invaded their senses.

Coughing, Tucker wrinkled his nose and prodded small black dots near the top of the frog's legs, situated in the lower part of the amphibian's stomach. "What are these?"

Sam could not help but smirk. "The frog's eggs. That's a female frog."

"Ugh!" Tucker yanked his hand away and ran to the sink and began scrubbing the skin on his hands furiously with soap and hot water. Sam snickered and began recording the organs they could see in her notebook.

"Okay. Now we have to remove the stomach and kidneys," said Danny. "Sam?"

The Goth frowned. "No way."

"If you want credit, we each have to take a turn," said Danny patiently. "It's already dead, so don't worry about it."

Sam sighed and took the tweezers. "Fine. But I don't like it." She poked the kidneys carefully and went to pull them out.

"Aarrgghh!" Sam jumped backwards as a funky-coloured juice squirted out and got her in the eyes. "My eyes! I'm blind!" She raced over to the sink and shoved Tucker aside and began flushing her eyes out.

Danny laughed. "This is why you're supposed to wear safety goggles, Sam."

Poluka shook his head as Tucker started to scrub his hands with an entire bottle of disinfectant as Sam moved to carefully dry her stinging eyes. "You three are unbelievable. You can't even dissect a frog without contaminating yourself."

Sam snapped her head up. "I'm contaminated?!" she shrieked. "Does that mean I have warts? Crap! I have warts?"

Poluka groaned as Sam ran out of the room in a panic. "I'll be right back. Please, just keep following the directions." He hurried after Sam to calm the girl down.

Danny sighed, now bored. He spotted two meter sticks resting on the counter behind him. "Hey, Tuck! Look, I'm a Jedi!"

He picked one up and swirled it around, making lightsaber noises with his mouth. Tucker laughed, forgetting his intense cleansing process and going to join his friend.

"You cannot beat the Dark Side, youngling!" He picked up the other meter stick and began clashing his pretend lightsaber with Danny's as the class cheered both of them on.

"Knock him out, Foley!"

"Kick his butt, Danny!"

Suddenly, one end of the meter stick struck the edge of their frog tray. The frog went sailing across the room...

And hit Poluka right in the face, organ-side up.

"Oh, crap!" both boys whimpered, hastily throwing the meter sticks aside.

As the class roared with laughter, a stiff Poluka sent Danny and Tucker to the principal's office to join the freaked-out Sam.

"I mean, it's not the worst science class we've ever had," spoke Tucker as the two males made their way down the hall.

Danny thought for a moment. "Well, maybe not," he finally agreed. "But it's definitely the grossest."

"I'm starting to see why Sam hates dissecting frogs and other animals so much," said Tucker feelingly.

Danny nodded. "Yeah. So…epic 'free the frogs' mission next time?"

"Most definitely."