A/N: This story takes place after 2x13. Sam and Andy are suspended from work for 3 weeks, therefore unable to see each other. Thanks to DCJ for the inspiration, no matter how far I may have diverted from her original idea. This first chapter is mostly recapping the last few episodes and everything leading up to Sam's current state of mind. Lines borrowed from the show are in quotes and italics.
Disclaimer: I do not own Rookie Blue or any of it characters. If I did, we would never have to wait this long for a new season.
I Think You Might Be Superman
Chapter 1-Missing Her
Flashback
"You, ah working the afternoon shift?" Sam asked.
"No, I already told you, I took the day off to finalize my mortgage."
"Right, right, so which one did you buy?" he asked regretfully.
"The one on the corner, with all the windows. I actually showed Sam all of the pictures before he disappeared." She teased.
"I remember, it's beautiful."
"Thanks. You want to come?" she asked sounding so hopeful.
God how he wished he could have left with her that day. He would have gone anywhere with her. He remembered her walking out the door that day and making a silent prayer for the op to be over quickly. He didn't even know why he had agreed to this UC case. Ok, he knew why. He loved the adventure of undercover work but that was not the reason. He was frustrated. He'd finally admit it, if only to himself. Andy and Luke had been broken up for a month and a half. He wasn't sure what the mourning period was but he didn't care anymore. He wanted her so badly and he knew there was something between them but at this point he couldn't just sit around and pine after her anymore. This would be the perfect opportunity to get her out of his system. Time and space, how ironic.
The day he found out about the assignment from Boyd, was the day they caught the case of the missing boy. He had told her about him going under cover. She did seem a bit flustered, disappointed maybe, but typical Andy, never really one to put herself out there. All she would have had to do was say, "Stay", or "I'm gonna miss you", anything, and he would have told Boyd to kiss his ass. But nothing. Then they found the boy, and as he approached the crash site where he had left Andy with the victim, his heart was in his throat. The car was burned down to the shell and Andy was nowhere to be seen. He remembered calling for her, trying to keep his voice from cracking. When he heard her call his name back he felt joy he never knew possible. Even better, she looked equally happy to see him. Emotions were running high. He wanted to kiss her and it almost looked like she wanted to kiss him, and they had leaned in as if they would but she pulled back ever so slightly at the last minute and the moment was gone. That's when he knew. He had to take this op; he had to get away from Andy and try to return to some semblance of the man he used to be. The man whose life wasn't consumed with his doe eyed, dark haired, beautiful former rookie. Out of sight, out of mind. Yeah right.
So, he assumed the life of JD, bad ass drug smuggler. He did the work he was supposed to and was friendly enough for the others to begin to trust him. He made fast friends with Jaime Brennan, so when he asked JD if he wanted to grab a few beers and shoot a little pool, he was in. The night was uneventful until Jaime yelled over for him to play another round. When he turned around to see Andy and Traci as their next opponents, it took every fiber of his being not to spit his beer on the guy sitting next to him. He kept it together,….. barely. It had been a few weeks since he had seen her and God did he miss her. Later that night, watching her leave, after he made it clear that she should not stay around there, was one of the most desperate moments he had ever felt, only to be followed up by her coming back and him having to send her away, again.
"Then I'm gone." She had said.
He had actually felt his heart break as she walked out for the second time that night. Lucky for him, his mark was a criminal with a heart of gold and convinced him to seize the opportunity. He grabbed his jacket and ran not walked to the front of the bar. When he put his hand on her shoulder he could barely contain his excitement and the smile Andy returned had his heart leaping from his chest. They made their way to his cover apartment, both anxious and neither saying too much. He had every intention of calling her a cab and sending her back to the station. His dilemma consumed his thoughts the entire way to his place. Until they walked in….. Then he was a goner. They were alone, she wanted to be with him and no amount of undercover training could make him lie well enough for either of them to actually think that a cab would be a good idea. He made a half-hearted attempt but only one word escaped her lips as she walked farther into his apartment. "No."
He wasn't sure what was making his whole body tingle at that point, was it that No, she refused to leave? Or No, by the way, I'm unbuttoning my shirt? Didn't matter, he was in front of her in a few short steps, holding her jacket in between them as a makeshift force field.
"If you don't leave now, there's no going back." He couldn't bear to go through another change of heart like the night of the blackout. It would destroy him.
"I don't wanna go back." She said in almost a whisper. Oh thank God.
Those few words were the start of the best night of his life. Being with Andy was like a dream come true. Unfortunately, as night turned into early morning, they both realized that she had to leave. Reluctantly, they said their goodbyes and Andy went back to the station to get into her uniform, while Sam tried to pretend that she hadn't changed his life that night, forever.
Over the next week Andy went back to work as usual, and Sam resumed his role as JD, the criminal. He thought about her every night and could only hope that she was thinking about him and having no regrets. If he had been thinking clearly, he would have sent her back to the station that night. However, this was Andy, his former rookie, his partner and the love of his life. His head was never quite clear when he was around her. He knew they had been irresponsible and stupid. Still, less than a week later, he had reached his limit of being without her. He called her on her cell. She was at the Penny and it was extremely loud but somehow she made out his words,
"Candace, its JD. I'd love to see you again."
"I'm leaving now." He heard her giggle into the phone. He could almost picture the smile on her face and by the sound of her voice he could tell she had missed him too.
Their first time together had been slow. Everything was new and senses were heightened. Unlike the night of the blackout which was more about need, their first time together was all about love and taking the time to experience each other. It was about feelings and feeling. Tonight was not like that night. As soon as JD opened the door they were fused together at the lips. This time it was more about heat and desperation. They never expected to miss each other that much. It had barely been a week but the need was just too great. Irresponsible and stupid, take two.
Andy had recapped the wild karaoke singing at the Penny. Sam chuckled as he pictured his friends up on stage. He teased her a little, she gave it right back. He shared a little about himself, more than he normally would. Then she asked the question, "Do you ever wish we were normal?" It sounded like a statement and a question all in one.
"What do you mean? We are normal." He stated fully knowing what she meant.
"You know what I mean."
He did. She wanted to be a normal man and woman who could be together like a normal couple. Not undercover, with secret identities and a possible sadistic killer lurking nearby.
He swallowed hard before speaking.
"Andy if I could ask you to stay, I would." In a heartbeat. Who was he kidding; he wanted her to stay forever.
"Then ask me to stay. Just one night, I'll go home in the morning." He didn't really hear what she was saying after that, something about the cold, he wasn't sure how he answered. The only thoughts in his mind were, she wanted to stay, she had no regrets and she wanted to be with him. She didn't want to run. It took him about a millisecond to lean over her and ask her to stay. Very irresponsible and very stupid, again.
So, she had stayed the night and it was every bit as amazing as they hoped it would be. Not looking to push their luck any further, Andy quickly got dressed and prepared to leave the next morning, this time with the intent of no further contact until the op was over. Truly. However, fate was not on their side, and a knock at the door shook them both. Their eyes went wide and as the visitor announced himself as Brennan, they both felt a bit sick.
Some fairly good acting and a continuation of her Candace cover story seemed to be enough to appease Brennan who left them to enjoy their day. So they thought.
Andy left shortly after that, grinning from ear to ear as only a person in love would be. Sam was happier than he had ever been. However, hours later, both of their lives would be turned upside down. The division would realize that Sam was missing and a mad search would ensue.
Some amazing police work and a couple of good leads led them to the farmhouse where Brennan had Sam hostage. Andy was not allowed to participate in the arrest but Oliver would later tell Sam that Andy had begged to be able to be on scene. She had to know he was safe; she had to see for herself.
Fifteen minutes later, which seemed more like an eternity to everyone involved, Brennan was brought out in cuffs. His face was bruised and his expression serious, until he recognized "Candace" in her police blues and smirked at her panicked face. Andy stared him down and immediately looked past him to see a beaten and bloody Sam limping down the front stairs. His shirt was torn, his head bleeding and his face already bruising. He was relieved that she was okay, that he was okay. He was tired and in pain and just wanted to go home. He stared at her but words would just not come. He let out an exasperated "Hey" and he walked past her to Oliver's cruiser. He had noticed Andy's sigh as he stood in front of her. He imagined that it was relief but there was something else in her eyes. He knew how her mind worked and was pretty sure it was guilt but at this point he wasn't certain. She had nothing to feel guilty about. She had approached him at the Alpine but he could have and should have just let her walk away. He was as responsible as she was for this mess but if the tables were turned he probably would have felt the same way.
Back at the station after he showered and redressed it was all Sam could do not to beat Boyd within an inch of his life. Unfortunately, he was already on the shit list and too tired to waste his remaining energy on Donovan Boyd.
Noelle and Oliver cornered their friend and expressed their relief at finding him. Sam smiled half-heartedly, thinking of the mess that he and Andy were now, stuck in the middle of. Me and my big mouth. Sensing his worry, Noelle had recounted to Sam, Andy's actions once they had found out he was missing. As soon as she had heard the news, she had thrown her career and herself under the bus in a heartbeat. Anything to save him. Oliver described Andy's distressed state as she barged into his cover apartment, panic stricken and begging anyone to tell her what they knew. As much as his heart broke reflecting on his own near misses with her life in the balance, he felt a happiness to know that she cared about him so much and that she didn't want to lose what they had found either.
He limped out to his truck and quickly brushed off the small accumulation off his windshield. He sat in his truck, waiting for the heater to warm him, a feat not possible tonight. He drove around to the front of the building and parked. He saw her walk out of the station doors, her bag slung over her shoulder, head down trying to shield herself from the cold and snow.
"Hey."
She turned quickly, seemingly surprised at the voice. She timidly approached his vehicle. He asked her what happened and then recapped his own punishment. He wasn't surprised by her suspension and even less surprised by his own. But he didn't care. The only thing on his mind was her, being with her and hoping to God that despite the past few days' events nothing had changed between them.
"Sam…..?" she looked at a loss for words. He wasn't sure if she wanted to apologize or ask for his forgiveness. Sam didn't care about either.
"Wanna try being normal together?" he smiled at her and she couldn't help but smile back.
"How are we gonna do that?" she asked
"I dunno. I have no idea." They continued to smile at each other, suddenly making them feel immune to the cold.
She gave him a serious look. "I don't want to."
His head dropped down his eyes never leaving hers. She continued this time with a smile, "I understand that being normal is highly overrated."
"Is that so?" he grinned
"Yep."
"So what do you suggest we do?"
"I say we try to find normal for us." She sounded hopeful.
"Sounds like a plan." He stressed the last word.
"I thought you weren't a planner." She raised an eyebrow.
"I'm not really, but for you, I'll make an exception." He winked.
"How long is your suspension?" she asked.
"Three weeks. You?" He asked.
"Same."
"Hop in, I'll drive you home."
"Sam, we can't…."
"Andy, it's just a ride, I promise….Despite how mad Frank was, he knew I needed a chance to talk to you first."
"Fine. Just a ride home, then we'll see each other in three weeks. Got it?" she asked half-heartedly.
"Got it. By the way, where are you living now?"
"Well, I never made my mortgage appointment, so I will be at Tracy's for a couple of days and then I'm gonna be at my dad's until I close on my condo. He is going to visit his brother for a couple of weeks."
"I see." He said, realizing that she missed her appointment because of what happened with him. He was lost in thought until he pulled up to Nash's.
"Thank you for the ride." She kept her eyes facing forward.
"No problem…I'm gonna miss you ya know."
She nodded trying not to give in to the tears that were trying to spill.
Sam was glad that she at least acknowledged what he said this time. He reached for her hand and her eyes finally looked over to meet his.
He couldn't help himself. He pulled her toward him with his good arm and kissed her. She responded immediately. It was gentle at first and then more desperate, as if it had to be burned into their brains for the next three weeks. And they both knew it did.
Finally they pulled away and Andy got out of his truck and headed for the stairs to Traci's home. Sam rolled down his window.
"Andy."
She turned around and walked back toward him.
"Yeah?"
"It's not that I don't like plans, I just didn't like that none of yours included me."
She grinned at his revelation. "Three weeks."
"Three weeks." He smiled back and slowly pulled away from the curb.
So here he was, three days into his suspension. After getting the crap kicked out of him by Jaime Brennan he was more than happy to sleep it off with pain killers. However, three days of mending, three days of thinking about Andy without the hope of seeing her was about all he could handle. He had to make himself busy and stop the McNally fantasies or he would go crazy. It's not that he didn't want to think about her, but if he was being honest with himself, it was more painful to think about being away from her than the actual physical wounds of his torture.
The doctor told him that he would have to keep the brace on his wrist for at least a month. The stitches in his face and along his hairline would be removed in a few days and otherwise he was beginning to feel more like himself. Sarah had offered to come down and take care of him but he really didn't want anyone watching over him and babying him. Alright, maybe he could think of one person.
As he lay across his bed staring at the ceiling he started to make a mental list of things he could do. His own sort of "to do" list. He had to keep himself busy or he would go nuts. He figured cleaning would be the first thing on his list. His place had been empty for weeks and there was dust everywhere. He peeled himself off the duvet and threw on a t-shirt. He headed first to the kitchen to start a pot of coffee. While he waited for it to brew, he wiped down all the counters and cabinets. He checked the fridge and was already running out of the few things he had bought the night he came home. He added a trip to the market to his mental list.
By 5:00pm every inch of his place had been cleaned and his fridge and pantry had been fully stocked. He sat on his sofa and flipped through the channels, watching but not really seeing anything. He turned the television off and reached for his portable phone. He knew the number he wanted to call but he wouldn't. He promised. He dialed Jerry's number instead.
"Hey Barber, I was thinking poker tonight, my place, what do you think?"
"Bored already?" he laughed.
"You have no idea."
"I'm up for poker. Hoping with your resistance a little low, I might have a chance to win some money."
"You're all heart."
"I'll call Shaw and let you know."
That night after Jerry lost a bundle again, they cleaned up and started getting ready to leave.
"Hey Sammy, if you're really that bored, I have some stuff that I want to do at my house. I got a couple of estimates but you're way more talented than any of these clowns."
"Did Jerry mention why the sudden urge to have Bob the Builder come over?" asked Shaw.
"Bob who?" Sam looked confused.
"Never mind. I asked Traci and Leo to move in with me and I just want everything to be completed before they move in. All my little projects that I started, I need to finish them and I just never make the time. I need shelves, painting done, I want to make…."
"I'll do it." Sam interrupted. "Whatever it is, I'll do it. Just give me a list, I'll pick up all the supplies, when do you want me to start?"
Sam's friends smiled at his eagerness. They knew how long Sam had been smitten with Andy McNally and knew that him not being able to see her or talk to her for three weeks after what had apparently gone on undercover had to be breaking him inside.
"I'm off tomorrow, how's that work for you?" Jerry asked.
"Tomorrow would be perfect."
