Originally a fill for a kink meme on LJ. What started out as a small fill ended up turning into a monster of a story.
It's been three days.
Three days since The Doctor, Rory and Amy found themselves arrested by German officers. Three days since they have had sort of food, water or fresh air, trapped in a cattle car full of people and the stench of urine, vomit and body odor.
The Ponds are next to him, Amy's head in Rory's lap and he's muttering something to her. What about, he isn't sure. His mind has been a bit foggy since being on the train. Amy herself has stopped crying, though now and then, a dry sob comes out and all either man can do is silently reassure her that somehow, they will get out of this.
That is something is a little thankful for something - the three of them are together, though for how long for, he isn't sure. But he will try to make sure they stick together in any way possible.
He wonders how he'll get them out of this situation. Everything they had on them was confiscated when they were arrested and the Doctor isn't able to talk his way out this time - a slow fading bruise on his cheek reminds him that his last attempt failed.
The train rolls to a stop and The Doctor hope that this time, the doors will be opened, that they will get water and if they're lucky, food.
To his immense relief, the doors open and the Doctor shields his eyes from the sudden bright light- it hurts his eyes and takes a while for them to adjust after being in the dark for so long.
Someone helps him out of the train and he instantly looks for Rory and Amy (stay together, stay together, his mind screams at him) and after a bit of shoving aside people (he thinks this might be more than a bit rude but he can't get himself to care) he finds them, clinging to each other and when they see him, hug the Doctor as tightly as they can.
He feels them squeezing the air out of him, but can't find the voice to complain.
A German officer greets them in a loud voice.
"This is Sachsenhausen. I want women one side, men on the other."
-
Rory wants to put the blame on someone: on River/Mels, for starting this whole situation by wanting to go Nazi Germany; on The Doctor for agreeing; on those Teselecta people for not being quicker in killing Hitler; on himself and Amy for not thinking to leave when they had the chance to.
As it is now, he's on pins and needles; he can see Amy in the women's line, can see the fear painfully clear on her face and wishes he can do something to make her feel better. He feels very much helpless right, unable to do anything and he wonders if the Doctor feels the same.
The men shown where their barracks are and the first thing he notices are that the beds are wooden bunks, stacked three high with a flimsy excuse for a matters and a blanket on them.
"You, boy, what are you good at?" An elderly man addresses him and it takes a while for Rory's brain to process the question.
"I-I'm good at nursing."
"A doctor, eh? Keep that to yourself- it's not a good job to announce you're good at. Say you're good at machinery."
"But I'm not good at machines."
"You'll learn; we'll teach you. If you go to any other camps, always tell them that. It might save your life."
-
Both Rory and The Doctor try to find some way to escape, but it's impossible. There a strict 'shoot to kill' order if they step over what's known as the death line.
Since they are seen as political prisoners, they get a bit of the better treatment- far better than the Jewish prisoners and Rory is quick to learn the weird hierarchy in place and even in a pit like this, being a Jew is the lowest thing here.
He misses Amy terribly but never has the chance to talk to her- the women barracks are too are. But he does he glimpse of her now and then and it raises his spirits to know that she's still alive.
After a month, they still have no plan of what to do and it's seems like they will be stuck here, in this pit of hell, worked to death.
They find out there will be a transfer out, somewhere to a new camp and the Doctor and Rory hopes it's somewhere better. Supposedly, it's to happen in the next couple of days.
But then a day passes, then two, three, four and no sign of them being transferred. He asks one of the men about it.
"The men weren't included." He grunts out. "That transfer was only for the women."
And Rory instantly feels his world come more apart than it has now.
-
Amy doesn't really know what she excepts coming to Ravensbrück. There a stark difference from this place and Sachsenhausen; it's a lot cleaner, rations are better (sweet porridge with dried fruit, plus a generous portions of bread, margarine and sausage was the first meal she had at the camp; after the near starvation rations at Sachsenhausen, it's a welcome change and she gorges on the food to the point she makes herself sick.) Beds are neat and sheets changed and washed regularly, along with the prisoner's clothes.
The job themselves aren't that hard- they are made to sew soldiers' socks for the Germans, a job Amy is quick to pick up on very fast. ( The women, however, make adjustments on the machines to make the fabric thin at the heel and the toe area. This, she finds, make the socks shoddy and they are easily broken when the German soldiers march. This will the soldiers sore feet and this small act of sabotage leaves them silently giggling at night.)
Some of the women make little trinkets such as bracelets. necklaces and other things to keep for themselves- though at a great risk. If anyone is caught with such things, there are harsh punishments for her.
Amy makes a small ring with Rory's name engraved on it and keeps it close to her.
-
In a place where the usual woman has either blond or brown hair, Amy's bright red hair stand out. And it catches the attention of an SS guard. Which is usually a very bad thing in the long run.
It starts out with small, slightly innocent comments and light brushes of the hand. But already that sets Amy on edge because the women have warned each other about the attention of Karl Goden.
All one can do is accept his advances or reject them.
Either way, there's a chance you can end up dead. If one is extremely lucky and he is a bit fond of them, their rations will be a bit higher and work quota reduced.
Since her wedding ring is gone, her weak excuse of 'I'm married' don't work at all. ("No ring, Miss Williams, so how do I know if you are telling the truth?") He asks with a sly grin and harshly grabs her bottom.
Amy feels very much trapped. All of them are powerless to stop him- most of them have been in her shoes already and they most they can do is hug her and offer weak advice.
He gropes her whenever he feels like it and he has a fascination with her hair; often times he pulls her aside simply to stroke it while he murmurs how he would like to be with her if she wasn't a prisoner.
It goes on for like this for a few weeks, always greeting her as 'Miss Williams' and acting like all he wants to do is take her out on a date. She thinks (very naïvely) he's never going to act on his advances.
In a sudden and violent way, Goden makes it known he hasn't.
She's pouring soup into bowls for the prisoners when he comes and stands next to her to watch. It's nothing new; she's almost gotten used to his presence around her, though it unnerves her greatly when he's around.
He does the same thing he usually does: stand next to her and starts humming a song. She expects nothing to happen and it's fairly uneventful.
She never sees the blow to the face coming.
Amy feels herself being knocked to the ground and instinctively curls into a ball to protect herself from the blows from the riding crop. She's not sure how long the beating lasts; to her, it feels like an eternity- when he's finished hitting her with the crop, he aims a kick at her mid-section and spats on her.
The next day, Goden demands that her hair be shaven off.
The following day, he drags her to his barracks and rapes her.
When he's finished, he leaves a vicious bite mark on her neck (it'll never heal right and there will a faint scar to remind her of this attack)
"I wonder when you go back to your husband, what he'll think of you." He says casually while she is working in the factory. The smirk on his face is evident and Amy is sure she is looking at a devil. "That is, if either of you are alive in the end, Mrs. Williams." He says in a mocking tone.
He leaves an unwanted, bruising kiss on her cheek and when he completely leaves her sight, Amy allows herself to break down and cry.
It's been two years, almost three, if Rory is keeping his years right.
No closer to escape, no clue of what happened to Amy.
There are times when he feels like giving up. Giving up feels a lot easier than fighting.
Often times he wonders what he's fighting for.
It hurts, getting up each morning to a horrible long roll call, getting meager rations, and forced to whatever work the Germans had them do that day.
His dreams mostly consists of two things these days: of food and Amy. Some of his really weird dreams have both things together.
Sometimes he dreams of Amy.
Sometimes he dreams of being there just in time to save Amy.
Other times, he dreams that he's too late and she's just another body to be thrown in the furnace and there's nothing he can do about it.
He feels someone shaking him and after blinking a few times realizes it's the Doctor. "What?"
"You were groaning in you sleep," the Doctor tells him, concern clear on his face. Rory starts to answer back, but a coughing fit stops him.
"'m fine." He manages to say after his coughing has cleared. He turns his back on the Doctor; he can't stand to see the pitying look in his eyes.
-
Rory hates roll call more than anything in this godforsaken camp. He's tired, everything hurts and he fights the urge to just collapse to the ground. Even in the summer, it's extremely cold and he can feel the chill to his bones.
There are times when Rory has to remind himself of his name- that he does in fact have one and isn't simply a number: A876399
He wants to burn that number off his skin if it was possible.
He wants to be back home, or maybe on the TARDIS, and hell, he'll take running some from type of alien than being here now.
Oh, he'd give anything if that means escaping here.
The ground sways from under him and it's a moment before Rory realizes he's going to pass out.
Well, that's just as good too, if it means he's blissfully unaware for a while.
The Doctor manages to catch Rory before he hits the ground and is forced by the Kapo guard to hold the man up until the roll call is over an hour later. He and another inmate place Rory back to his bunk and the Doctor know that there a chance that Rory has gotten ill from typhus; it's been the cause of deaths lately for others and the Doctor is afraid (very, very afraid) that the Roman will be one of those numbers.
He covers Rory with blankets and hopes that Rory recovers fast enough to escape the selection that they all know will come soon.
"Poor kid is probability not gonna make it," the man who was assisting him, Hans, mournfully says. There a quick prayer Hans give and offers his own blanket. "If he'll die soon, at least make it a bit for humanizing for him."
The sorrow in Hans' eyes in almost unbearable to look at; the Doctor knows a bit about the man. Knows that he lost his wife and second son prior to arriving in the camp; his first son's whereabouts are unknown, but it's what gives Hans the strength to live- the need to see him again.
The Doctor has the same idea- he wants to get his Ponds far, far away from here. He knows that Amy is alive, but he needs to find out where she is.
Oh, his Ponds. His wonderful, magnificent, glorious Ponds.
What will become of them after this?
He feels this whole thing is his fault and it makes his hearts break because they will be more names on the list of 'Companions Whose Life's You Managed To Screw Up'.
-
For every moment that reminds the Doctor of the good in humanity, it seems this place is convinced to show him the horrors that humans are capable of.
He sees a man beaten to death over some bread.
He watches as one of the guards systematically executes four men for trying to escape, then cut their already meager rations in punishment.
He looks at the sky one day and knows the falling ash is the remains of men that might have worked next to him.
-
Rory slowly but surely recovers, mostly because the Doctor is giving him his own rations, along with Rory's. Hunger gnaws away at him, but the Doctors steadfastly reminds himself that this a needed sacrifice.
Two days later, the barracks finds that there will be a transport further East, possibly Poland. Talks of execution camps are all anyone can seem to bring up.
The hope that they will make it out alive dampens a bit more.
The Doctor thinks of all the times when everything seemed hopeless and, when in those times, little miracles happened.
He thinks of those times because they are in dire need one right now.
-
It's two weeks later when they are shipped off to Sobibor.
There are guards and asking for anyone with any kind of trade skills and Rory quickly offers himself and the Doctor, though what they know is minimum at best. Still, the Doctor knows better than to protest this and watches with sad, heavy eyes at the large group they are behind are destined for the gas chambers.
-
It seems the universe has listened and that small miracle has come through.
It's during the evening after work, when heading back to the barracks that there is a loud shout of both Rory and his names and suddenly there's a brilliant flash of red hair in his face- it's short, much too short and a bit dull, but it's Amy and she's alive, but oh so skinny- well they are are, really and everyone's hair is shaved off, but she here and the Ponds are back together and the trio are together and for a while, nothing can ruin this moment.
