Title: The League of Extraordinary Caffinated Substances
Authors: Sunscorched and Stop Dreaming
Emails: Miss_.uk
Rating: PG
Category: Humour
Content: Chloe/Oliver
Summary: Chloe likes her men like she likes her coffee...
Disclaimer: We own nixies
Distribution: Here, there, everywhere!
Notes: The idea and coffee descriptions belongs to Stop Dreaming, so all credit goes to her for this fic.
Victor Stone was one in a million, Chloe decided as she watched him work the Watchtower's main system with more ease than she could ever have. Not surprising when one took in his circumstances.
Thanks to his help, something that would have taken her a good two weeks had only taken five or six days, thus saving her a fair few headaches and sleepless nights.
While Ollie worried about the annual taxes, she worried about general maintenance and security of both Watchtower and the computers of the League. Again she looked at Victor and smiled. He dealt with the software while she dealt with the hardware. Thin wires were easier to handle when one had small fingers.
Plus, Victor did have the talent of being able to plug himself directly in the mainframe, something which she both envied and cursed.
Sighing, Chloe checked her watch and noted the others would be back soon, hopefully bearing gifts of food and beer for later.
She pushed herself out of her seat. "My brain says it's still work time, but my heart says coffee time. You want?"
Victor threw a grin of gratitude over his shoulder. "Only if you're making for yourself."
The look she gave him made his shoulders shake as mirth filled his eyes. "Do I look like coffee lady to you?" She arched a brow.
He held up his hands in submission, the mirth never fading. "Milk, no..."
"Sugar," Chloe stated as she headed towards the kitchen. "I got it."
Course she did and that was why she held the mantal of Watchtower. She knew everything about all of them, from their drink of choice to what food they ate. Hell, she probably knew A.C sat down to take a piss.
They got into trouble and she got them out, she took care of them, made sure they kept their feet well and truly on the ground, especially when it came to things that made them furious. She made them think before acting, made them remember they weren't in it alone anymore, made them feel special as opposed to feeling like a freak.
Sure, they all had lives separate to the mission, like A.C had his animal rights campaigns and Ollie had Queen Industries and Bart had...
Victor sighed.
Bart had pretty little Mexican senoritas to keep him busy.
Those lives always brought them back to Watchtower, back to home, back to the one place and one person they relied on.
He was glad to have Chloe Sullivan watch his back.
A signal beeping alerted him to the fact defragmentation of the Tower's impressive hard drive and he glanced at the main screen to double check the files.
Victor scanned the list of files and frowned when one seemed to stand out. A tiny little 6 kilobyte text document in amongst terabyte documents?
He sighed in annoyance. As great as the Tower was, it'd be plain old rotten luck they got a damn worm.
He ran a hand down his face before isolating the file and opening it up.
Okay, it wasn't a worm, it was a list. A shopping list by the looks of things and he was about to close it down when names caught his attention.
Familar names, at that.
Victor glanced back to the top of the list and read slowly. "C.S.L..." Who or what was the C.S.L and what did it have to do with them? Was it another group?
His eyes widened a fraction.
If it was another group, then maybe they were after Chloe and this was her way of leaving a clue...
He slyly looked at Chloe and he saw she was busy, he slipped his cell out of his pocket and sent a quick multi-text to all and sundry.
If this C.S.L was after Chloe, they'd have go through them first.
"We're back and we bring..." Ollie was cut short when a text message from his phone coincided with text messages from the others' phones.
A.C, Bart, Bruce, Carter, Courtney, and himself simultaenously retrieved their phones and saw the words All Hands On Deck.
They looked at each other and then looked at Victor, who put a finger to his lips and gestured to where Chloe was before frantically waving them over to where he stood.
Ollie was first there. "What is it?" He hissed, his eyes straying over to the kitchen.
"I found a file," Victor replied, just as quietly. "It was small enough to draw attention and I thought it was a dumbass worm or something, so I isolated it and..."
"In your own time, Cyborg."
Victor pulled a face. "There's a group, the C.S.L, and I think..." He nodded in Chloe's direction.
Oliver tensed and his eyes darkened.
No.
Damn.
Way.
"Show me."
Without hesitation, he moved aside so Ollie could see the writing, but the man didn't do that. The man went straight to the source.
"Chloe," his voice practically shook the walls. "Get over here."
Victor smacked his forehead. Way to be discreet, Queen, he thought.
Chloe jumped a mile when her man shouted and she almost spilled the drinks. "You bellowed?" She asked, displeasure evident on her face. Years and he still hadn't learned she wasn't deaf.
Ollie ignored the sarcasm and stared at her, the others shifting in discomfort at the rising tension. "Who is the C.S.L?"
She frowned as she passed one drink to Victor. "Who?"
"Chloe..."
Green eyes sharpened at his angry tone. "Ollie..."
Not wanting to take the flack for being a snitch, "I'll just be over here," and Victor moved toward the others, casually ignoring their curious looks.
Ollie narrowed his eyes at her acidic tone. "Victor found a file about the C.S.L. It mentioned our names and don't bother playing ignorant, cos there's proof something's going down and I wanna know what that is. Especially what is has to do with you."
Chloe's frown increased and she followed the direction of his finger as he pointed at the screen. Her face began to burn and she went to quickly get rid of it before all of them knew what was on it.
He was not only quicker than her, but stronger and it was easy to remove her cup and prevent her from destroying the evidence. "Lemme go!" She screeched and struggled against his iron grip. "It's not what you think! It's private!"
"Let her go, Queen," Carter stepped forward.
"Back off, Tweetie."
"If she says it's private..." Courtney piped up, blue eyes wide with the commotion.
Chloe managed to pull herself away from Ollie and brushed her hair away from her very flushed face. "They have more trust in me than you do!"
"I don't care about trust, Sidekick. I care about you and if this C.S.L is after you, then I'll do whatever it takes. If that means locking you in an ivory tower, then I'll lock you up in an ivory tower."
A.C, Bart, Bruce, Carter, and Courtey all changed their tune when Ollie's words hit the air. Someone was after Chloe?
Chloe rolled her eyes. "No-one is after me, you neanderthal!"
Ollie glared at Carter when he snorted. "Can it, Quackadoodle." Turning back to Chloe, he folded his arms and waited for an explanation and when nothing came, he shrugged. "Fine, I'll read it myself."
Panic washed over her face. "No don't! Please?"
It was that panic which made the decision for him.
Oliver looked directly at the screen and read aloud, so all of them knew what was coming. "Arthur Curry," he read, voice strained. "Wears citrusy clothes and likes water with a twist of lemon, so he'd be Senseo Kenya Blend, vibrant & zesty."
Confusion replaced the anger. Vibrant and zesty? "What the crap?"
Chloe was inspecting her nails when A.C spoke up. "I'm what?"
The only thing that made her look up was the silence that had fallen on the room.
Courtney meekly raised her hand. "Isn't that a type of coffee?"
"Yes," came the roughened voice of Bruce Wayne.
A.C's head tilted to one side as he looked at Chloe, his lips twitched more the longer he stared. "You named me a coffee? Dude, that's pretty sweet. I'm zesty!"
Oliver scowled at him. "Hey!"
"Don't look at me, man," came the pleased response. "Your honey did it."
His brown eyes went straight to the girl in question. "You named him a coffee?"
There was no way out of it now. Chloe sighed and swallowed the pride as she spoke with a defeated voice. "Caffinated Substance League," she said, her face getting redder. "I got bored one night."
Several sets of eyebrows rose at the admission, but it was Bart who spoke. "You named us a coffee?"
"Yes, okay?" She half yelled. "I named you all coffees. Happy? Can we get back to what we were doing now? Great..."
"Hold on, hold on," Oliver cut in. "What did you give me?"
"And me," Bart piped in, bouncing in excitement.
"Colour me curious," Bruce added.
"As am I," Carter added.
Courtney nodded. "Me too."
Chloe glared at each and every one of them before landing on Victor. "I suppose you're dying to know, too."
He thought about lying, but her expression made him think twice. "If you want to tell me, I'll be happy to hear it."
All men in the room groaned. Trust the robot to be a gent about it.
She gave him a shark's smile. "You're drinking it."
Victor moved his mug away. He was drinking himself? "What is it?"
Ollie was quick to look. "Victor Stone, the voice of reason yet quirky. Kenco Pure Colombian, balanced and fruity." He paused. "Fruity, huh? Somethin you not tellin us, Cyborg?"
Victor scowled. "I'm not... Fruity? Really?"
Chloe rolled her eyes. "You can be fun when you want to be and you know it, but you just don't show it as often as you show your reasoning."
He stood a little straighter and grinned slightly. "Here that, guys? I'm fruity!"
A.C returned the grin. "I'm zesty!"
They high-fived.
Oliver shot a smirk at them, one that clearly said mine is gonna rock, then turned to look at his. "Oliver Queen," he said, unable to keep the arrogance out of his voice. "Oliver Queen, moneyed and a bit wreckless at times. Colombia Blend, rich and velvety with a slighty nutty aroma."
The arrogance instantly disappeared as he slowly looked to his woman. "Nutty? I'm not nutty."
Chloe couldn't help herself. He deserved all he got after his earlier temper tantrum. "If the cashew fits."
His mouth dropped open. "I'm allergic to nuts, so I can't be nutty."
Bart cheerfully jumped on it. "Bossman's crazy!"
"I'm not crazy!"
A.C shrugged. "That's the definition of nutty. You know, nuts."
"I'm not nuts!"
Carter's lips curled up. "Denial is the strongest form of admission."
Oliver raised a finger in warning. "If I'm nuts, let's see what yours is, Big Bird."
Chloe cringed as he made a point of reading it as sarcastically as possible. "Carter Hall, wise and straight to the point, yet smoke and mirrors. Ages well."
Ollie fell quiet and Carter grunted impatiently. "Well?"
"Yeah, Ollie," Courtney asked, a little smile on her face. "What is it?"
Oliver spoke through gritted teeth. "Kenco Pure Brazillian, dark and smokey."
A.C, Bart, Bruce, Courtney, and Victor all looked Carter's way with something akin to awe in their eyes. "Nice choice, Mamacita," Bart said in approval.
"I can see that," A.C agreed with a critical eye.
Chloe perked up. Maybe it wasn't so embarrassing after all. "Really?"
"A true conisseur," Bruce stated. "Impressive."
"Oh, please," Ollie scoffed. "I've seen better Brazillian's on a woman's..."
"Finish that sentence, Queen," Chloe glared. "I dare you."
Carter's lips curled into a wicked smirk he directed at the Archer. "I'm flattered you don't see me as nuts."
"I'm not nuts! Tell them, Tower. Tell them I'm not nuts!" Ollie demanded. "Go on!"
She rolled her eyes again. "Apparently I have to tell you he's not nuts."
He grinned triumphantly. "See?" Then, "What do you mean? Apparently?"
Chloe rubbed her left temple. "Okay, okay you're not nuts. Happy?"
The billionaire didn't have a chance to respond when Bart appeared between them, his speed having his own coffee description before Ollie could open his mouth to retort.
"Bart Allen, that's me by the way... Bart Allen, quick and easy, always where you need him to be and gets the job done. Instant brew."
He spun to face the room at large. "Here that, folks? I get the job done like that," and snapped his fingers.
Oliver smirked. "Yeah, I wouldn't brag about that, Impulse."
"Why not?" He asked in all seriousness. "She can have two of me before she has one of you. Instant is everywhere, so she can have me anytime she wants me."
"I'm zesty," A.C pointed out. "She'd wake up when she has me."
Carter was still looking at Ollie. "I give it to her straight."
"Can we all stop talking about my woman gets it?" He snapped.
Victor snorted. "And you say you're not nuts."
"For the last freaking time, I am not NUTS!"
Carter chuckled. "Sounds like Queen's losing his family jewels."
Ollie was all too quick to get in his face. "You wanna see how big my nuts are, Clucky?"
This time it was Bruce who commented. "Sounds like it isn't just Vic who's keeping something from us."
The Archer's wrath descended on the fellow billionaire. "What's that supposed to mean?"
Bruce merely shrugged. "You seem awfully eager to prove you still have your nuts. Whether Carter wants to see them is the question."
Everyone, including Oliver, turned to look at Carter. "You don't, right?"
"Little boys hold no interest for me."
Instead of rising to the bait, Ollie simply smirked. "Sorry, Bart. Guess you're out of luck."
"Says you, Peanut."
The entire room ceased to breathe.
Had Ollie and Carter just agreed on something?
"So, what's Bruce's coffee?" Courtney asked, once she got her sniggering under control.
Bruce gave the blonde a charming a smile. "Allow me," and moved to the computer. "Bruce Wayne, still waters hide riptides. Kenco Pure Costa Rican, dark and powerful."
Once more, Chloe found herself the target of Ollie's pouting and jealousy. "How come he gets dark and powerful, while I get nutty aroma?"
The sound of laughter came from A.C and Victor, and Chloe looked at them. "What?"
Both men quickly stopped. "Nothing," they innocently said.
"Uh-huh," she shook her head, fully able to imagine what they were thinking. "Keep it that way."
Ollie looked at his lady oddly. "Is there a, uh, particular reason why you gave me that, um, aroma?"
All attention was no wholly focused on her and she felt her face burn yet again. "What? NO! Oh God, no!"
No-one said a word and it was quite clear they didn't have too.
"You all think that I... Sniff his family jewels?" That was just gross.
Even if she did like the smell of sex on him.
Still, no-one said a word.
Except for Bart, who seemed to have trouble knowing to keep quiet.
"Well, you do think Fishstick's zesty and R2-D2's fruity," he said with all reason. "Those are tastes, right? So what's to say you don't recognise Loony here by smell?"
"I'm not loony, crazy, or nuts."
Courtney agreed. "Bart's right, Chloe. Maybe that's how you recognise us."
A.C grinned. "And you recognise Ollie by the smell of his... OW! Dude," he glared at Victor. "Whaddya do that for?"
"Be thankful it was him and not me, Curry," Chloe threatened seriously.
A.C put a hand to his chest. "You'd hurt zesty little me?"
Victor copied A.C and put a hand to his heart. "Or me? Your fruity voice of reason?"
"Or me," Oliver treated them to a look usually reserved for Carter.
They immediately fell quiet. "Sorry, Chloe," they said like two chastised children.
She smiled brightly. "Of course I wouldn't hurt any of my boys."
Ollie shook his head in disgust as the two fully grown men puffed up their chests and squared their shoulders.
Seeing his reaction, Chloe rubbed his arm. "You're velvety."
His shoulders shrugged. "Well, I try."
Bart was right there in front of her. "Anything ya want, 'Licious? Am right here and can be over there in an instant."
"You're such a kiss ass, Allen," Courtney rolled her eyes before something occured to her. "Do I have a coffee?"
As Bruce was closest to the computer, he looked down the list, but found nothing and frowned. "I don't see one."
Bart looked at Chloe in confusion. "You didn't give Blue Eyes a coffee?"
"Oh," Courtney tried to keep a smile on her face. "That's okay. I mean I'm not nutty like Oliver or dark and powerful like Bruce..."
"That's cos you're not a coffee," Chloe stated with a smile.
"You're a strawberry milkshake," Bruce stated as he scrolled down to the Lady List.
"Ooh!" She exclaimed. "I like strawberry milkshakes!"
"Not the only one," Bart gave her a wink and received a smack across the back of his head courtesy of Carter.
Courtney grinned at Chloe. "Thanks!"
Green eyes twinkled. "At least someone sees their potential as a drink."
"Make no mistake, Chloe," came Bruce's most smoothest voice. "I appreciate being dark and powerful."
"I'm happy with zesty," A.C rubbed his chest in pride. "Though how did you get that?"
She shrugged. "Your clothes are citrusy coloured."
"Ah," Bart interrupted. "But which is your favourite?"
