It couldn't be her, right? Surely it wasn't her. And then she looked up. It was her. Hisao remembered the first time he saw those great big green eyes and his heart skipped a beat. What was she doing here? Sitting alone at a corner table reading a magazine and sipping a milkshake.
"Emi?" Hisao murmured to himself. What are the odds, meeting your high school girlfriend in the same school ten years later? She hadn't noticed him yet. For a split second, he thought of simply ignoring her and continuing on with his day. But he was no longer that insecure angsty schoolboy, with raging emotions and absolutely no sense. He was a teacher now. How could he inspire (and sometimes lecture) his students about owning up to their unique challenges if he couldn't even muster the courage to face his old ex-girlfriend? So after paying for his food, he strode over to the table. As he approached he slowed his stride without thinking. She looked up. At first, she didn't recognize him. Then for a split second uncertainty and fear flashed before her eyes. But at last her face split into a huge grin and she flew up from the chair. Time has apparently not sapped her boundless energy.
"Oh my god Hisao!" she cried as she threw her arms around him. But not in the way she used to. There was still a restrictiveness in her embrace. From an outside viewer, it would seem that she didn't hold back at all. But Hisao knew better. Their history was still like a wall between them. No matter how close she was, she was still so far away. It was as if time had stood still.
"Hi Emi, nice to see you," he said in the most stable voice he could muster. She let go and released him, still beaming that subtly constrained smile.
"What are you doing here?" she asked as if doubting her own eyes. They sat down.
"Ehhh...I am actually a teacher here. Science. Been here for two years now."
"That is so cool! I knew you would make it!" she grinned and punched him lightly but the smile didn't reach her eyes. Her mask was on fully now. She had perfected it over the years.
"And you? What are you doing these days?" he inquired when she didn't follow up. He tried to put as much enthusiasm in his voice as he could to cover up the fact that his heart still broke when he saw her put up that shield in front of her heart.
Her smile slipped just a fraction. Hisao was willing to bet there were not many people who would have noticed. But he was one of them. Emi waved her hands nonchalantly.
"Oh a little of this, a little of that. Right now I'm...doing some cleaning." She pointed at her uniform which at closer inspection bore the name of a local cleaning company. She tried to keep her voice light. But there was bitterness there.
Their eyes met across the table. He wanted to ask what had happened. The promising running girl, so full of life. Dreaming of becoming a pirate. Ten years later it seemed her prospects didn't look too bright. But he couldn't. That kind of questions is what had driven them apart in the first place. The awkwardness reached its peak. She knew that he knew. She knew that he could see through her facade. And she hated it.
"Look. I wouldn't have taken this job if I knew you worked here. I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable in your workplace. First thing tomorrow I ask to switch. It's just...it's just... you know the market isn't too great for cleaning right now."
"No!" Hisao almost yelled out loud but caught himself. "No. There is really no need for that. We are both adults, right? And besides, that was a long time ago." He forced a chuckle. In his head, it sounded like a cat dying from diarrhoea.
"Yeah. I guess." Emi responded. She flashed a smile. A genuine smile. Full of uncertainty. Her gaze fell again.
"I heard from Rin you got married," she avoided his eyes.
"So you and Rin are still friends?" Two could play that game. He could also avoid subjects.
"We email and stuff. Since she moved to France it's been less and less. Work keeps her pretty busy." Emi was stirring was left of her milkshake with her spoon, eyes down.
"She's in France? Wow! Good for her."
"Yeah. Good for her." Emi still would not look up.
Silence again. Stretching out like a sea between them, carrying her even further away. Hisao broke the ice the only way he knew.
"Divorced. She left me a year after the wedding."
Emi looked up and compassion shone from her like the morning sun. Having had so much pain in her own life she had always been really good at empathising with others. When Hisao had first started at Yamaku he had been lonely, afraid and not a little bit resentful over his lot in life. His heart had been cold. And then she has swooped in like a roaring firestorm. And that girl was still in there, somewhere. That eagerness to help, that willingness to do what felt right no matter the consequences, that fearless unconquerable spirit. That which had made him fall in love with her. It was still there.
"Oh Hisao I am so sorry" She didn't pity. She never pitied. She just instinctively shared his pain. God, why had he let her go? A jagged piece of metal thrust into his heart as he remembered how he had pestered her for answers, for commitment. Rushing the relationship to places she wasn't ready for. Killing the budding love before it could blossom. He hadn't known any better at the time. But then again nor had he known his wife had been cheating on him. Perhaps it was time to admit that relationships were not his strong side.
"It's alright," he managed. "We weren't right for each other". Without thinking he echoed her last words to him when they broke up ten years ago. He still held Emi's gaze. She opened her mouth as if to speak but closed it again. She looked at him from under her bangs. She hadn't lost any of her beauty, that was damned sure.
"I guess you weren't," she responded in a whisper. This time Hisao had to look away. The old magic was still there, like a can of gasoline waiting for a match. But it seemed the hurt and pain was still there as well. It was all too intense. He had to back away from it.
"So how come you are eating down here in the Cafeteria? What happened to the roof? Got old?" he teased, mirroring his old partner's way of hiding feelings with jokes.
Emi showed him playfully from across the table and stuck out her tongue.
"Look who's talking! When was the last time you did any exercise?" She stuck her finger into his belly that was somewhat softer now than last time they had met.
"I exercise daily. My mind that is," he grinned and tapped his head.
"Well, your mind is getting fat. And I will have you know that I like the music down here!" She did a cute little dance to the tunes blaring out from the speakers. Hisao grinned.
"You still run I take it?"
And her smile fell again for a split second before she pasted a calm expression on her face.
"Not as much as I'd like."
Hisao didn't understand. She had all but flown out of the chair when they had met. Obviously, she had prosthetics on and were not in any pain. So why wasn't she running? But he knew better than to ask. They spend the rest of lunch discussing their old school days, reminiscing about old classmates. Keeping it light. Not mentioning anything that had really mattered. At the end of it, all the bell rang and Hisao excused himself to go back to class. They both lied that it had been nice to see each other again and promised to have lunch again soon. One last hug and Hisao turned and started walking away.
But then he stopped. And turned back.
"Emi?"
"Hmmm?" She looked up from her magazine.
"I'm really am pretty out of shape..." Hisao started with a tentative uncertainty in his voice. The ice he was putting his foot on was thin as a paper sheet. Yet he couldn't resist.
"I'll say!" rang the response in clear teasing laughter. Her expression was unreadable.
Hisao opened his mouth as if to continue but seemly thought better of it, gave a polite nod and wished his old flame goodbye. His posture seemed to slump somewhat as he took the first step out of the cantine. Behind him, Emi rose. He could hear her take a deep breath.
"8 sharp tomorrow. You know where. Don't be late."
Authors note: Fixed a few spelling errors.
