Hey every body, I'm back with some more Klaine ramblings. This time I tried to do it from Blaine's perspective. Sorry if it's a little out of character, especially toward the end. Reviews are nice and are like cookies to me, but not needed. Um...Yeah! THANK YOU FOR READING! I LOVES YOU ALL!
He had never been so upset in his life. Out of all the things that someone could have said, he was getting upset over a little comment on sexual orientation. Sure, it was a big deal to the other boy, but didn't he deserve the chance to think a little? This really was one of the most confusing times in his life. When he had kissed Rachel at the party, it had felt good.
Sure, he didn't have much to compare it to. He hadn't had a boyfriend before, but he had been kissed. It wasn't like Kurt when he had been kissed by Kurofsky. It had been a true kiss. It had been with that kiss that Blaine had figured out he was gay. Or at least decided that he was gay. But, what if it this wasn't really him. What if it hadn't been the feel he got when he kissed that guy, but the fact that he had gotten a kiss that made him decide that he was gay. Ever since than he had just accepted the fact that he was gay and didn't go after any girls.
After kissing Rachel though, Blaine couldn't help but think that there was a possibility that he could in fact be bisexual. Although he had just met Kurt not to long ago, the two of them were becoming best friends. They did everything together and they talked about what was on their minds. However, when Blaine had brought up the fact that he could be bisexual, Kurt had basically told him that he was a let down. Hearing that had made Blaine not only upset but depressed. He felt as if he was making everyone in his life miserable.
When Blaine had decided that he was gay, he told his parents. He had the confidence and the courage to do so, it just hadn't been the welcoming reception that he had hoped. His mother had started crying and his father had started to yell at him. Even through all of that, he still had the strength to accept it. It didn't make life easier, but he knew that he was strong. He knew that there would be people outside of his family to support him. Kurt was his support. Kurt was basically his reminder of being strong and confident and courageous, even if Kurt felt the same way about him.
To hear Kurt say some of that stuff about how being bisexual was just a term guys used to feel 'normal' had hurt. It was in that moment that everything that Blaine had been holding onto had shattered. Sure, the guys in the Warblers were supportive, but not like Kurt. They were nice guys. Kurt was…He was something special. Without being cliché or cheesy or whatever you wanted to call it, Blaine was in love. It wasn't the love that Kurt wanted, but it was love. It was what Blaine was capable of at the moment.
It hadn't changed because of what Kurt had said. There was always going to be a part of him that would love Kurt, even if he ended up being a serial killer who hummed up-beat show tunes while he murdered people. Well, maybe then he might have to give up his love, but still…He loved Kurt.
He loved him, but the fact that Kurt had basically said that he couldn't accept him if he was bisexual cut him like a knife. After the coffee fiasco, Blaine had gone straight home to his room. He didn't want to talk to his parents about what had happened, mainly because they would never understand. He would have probably had to endure more yelling or crying. At least if he was bisexual it would be better than being gay. So, he disappeared. He shut off his phone, closed all of the blinds in his room, and even disconnected his computer for the time being. Blaine laid there still in his uniform staring at the wall. He had no desire to get up and change. He didn't even feel like combing out the gel in his hair. Normally Blaine had this strange obsession with his curls, but not today. Today was too depressing. He just didn't want to do anything.
Blaine wasn't sure how long he lied there. He knew that it was for at least a couple of hours: night had already fallen on Westerville. He had watched the shadows cast from his window change. There was no continuous train of thought that ran through his mind. It was bouncing back and forth between Kurt and Rachel and his sexuality and…
At about eight that night, Blaine could hear someone walking up the stairs to his room. He didn't roll over or show any sign of interest in the person coming to 'save' him or whatever. When the door opened he simply mumbled, "Go away." The person didn't leave though. They walked across the room and sat down on his bed by his feet. Still Blaine didn't look up. "Go the hell away," Blaine hissed.
"No." The person said. Much to his shock, it wasn't his mother or father. It was Kurt. He had suspected that his mother at least would have come to talk to him. Sure, his mother had started crying when she found out her baby boy was gay, but that didn't stop her from loving him. Never in a million years did Blaine think that Kurt would have been there.
"What do you want?" Blaine mumbled, acid seeping into his tone. He didn't want to hear Kurt's excuses at the moment, even if his heart was fluttering at the idea that Kurt was in his room.
"I'm so sorry," Kurt said. He was crying. Blaine had heard that voice enough time to know when Kurt was crying. "I'm so sorry about what I said. I was afraid. I was afraid that you would have left me, just like everyone else. You being bisexual would mean that all those girls out there who I know love you would be competition," Kurt sobbed.
Blaine rolled over a little to look at Kurt over his shoulder. Kurt was sitting with his back to him, handkerchief in hand. Kurt was still wearing his uniform and scarf. It didn't seem like he had wanted to do anything either. "I was afraid…I was afraid that if you were bisexual than…That you would have…THAT YOU WOULD HAVE PICKED RACHEL OVER ME!" Kurt sobbed, burying his head in his hands.
Sitting up, Blaine wrapped his arms around Kurt's shoulders. "Hey, hush…" Blaine whispered, moving to Kurt's side. Kurt leaned over and pressed his face into Blaine's chest. As they sat there, Blaine realized something. What Kurt had said at the coffee shop had just been emotions. They were both upset with each other because they didn't stop and think before talking. It was all emotions. Blaine had been so offended by what Kurt had said that he had likened him to Karofsky, the bully that had made Kurt flee McKinley in the first place. He hadn't even thought about how Kurt would have felt, loosing a role-model. It was like being a little kid and finding out that your favourite football player had cheated his whole career. "Kurt…I'm sorry," Blaine whispered, trying to keep himself from crying.
"You shouldn't be sorry for anything. I shouldn't have said that to you. That was just so rude," Kurt mumbled, keeping his head pressed to Blaine's chest. Blaine frowned slightly and started to rock back and forth. "Blaine…I don't care. I don't care if you're gay, bisexual, straight…Well, maybe I'll care a bit about the straight one, but I will always support you," Kurt said, wiping his eyes and sitting up again.
Blaine saw the look of shame on Kurt's face and felt his heart ache. They were both the guilty parties in this fight. Smiling slightly, Blaine reached out and pushed a strand of hair off of Kurt's forehead that had come unglued from his perfect hair. "I'm sorry Kurt…" Blaine whispered again.
"Stop saying that. You're just trying to figure yourself out. I shouldn't have said those things," Kurt said, pulling away from Blaine and wiping his eyes. He smiled weakly at the older boy.
"I'm not saying sorry for the conversation," Blaine stated. "I'm sorry for making you feel that I would have picked Rachel over you. You're amazing Kurt. You're amazing, and no matter what I'm going to be by your side." Kurt looked up at him. Blaine had dropped his gaze to his pants. He suddenly felt embarrassed, and that took a lot to do for Blaine. "I love you. There is no other word for what I feel for you. I love you, but I'm terrified that if we jump into this that I'm going to lose you. I don't want to lose you Kurt…" Blaine whispered, keeping his eyes on his pants. He could already feel tears swelling up behind his eyes.
"Blaine…" Kurt started. But, there were no words. All this time Kurt had thought that Blaine just wasn't willing to commit to him because Blaine had this idea that he was bad at romance. Slowly Kurt moved closer, pulling Blaine into a hug. It was similar to how they were sitting earlier, only in reversed roles. "Blaine, I love you too. We're going to get through this. I'm never going to leave," Kurt whispered.
The two of them sat there, Blaine crying into Kurt's blazer. It wasn't the most romantic scene for them to confess their love, but Blaine couldn't have asked for a better moment. They were each other's. Maybe they never would be boyfriends, but they loved each other, and they were going to stay with the other for as long as they could.
They each made the other whole. Without one, the other would fall apart.
