A/N: Okay, here is the first chapter of the sequel to Always Avoid Alliteration. It gets smuttier from here on out. Again, I write most of this from a very demented and strung out part of my brain with the help of my sleep-depreived husband. ;3 It's still gonna be fun, it's gonna get weirder, and it's gonna get a little sluttier. Naughty story! You dirty, dirty story! *wags finger and grins* So, yeah. Anyway. You've been warned. I'm already done writing the fourth chapter and just so I can keep a steady schedule, I will post Sunday nights/Monday morning depending on if it's after midnight like it almost is now.
Time for some ridiculous fun in the rare sunshine!
Chapter One: Shenanigans and Sugar Crashes
BELLA POV
Things were moving along nicely. I had just graduated high school four days ago, the man of my dreams is in love with me, I was enjoying myself at a pool party the Cullen's were throwing for summer, my best friends were trying to sneak up behind me… wait… "Whattaya think you're doin?" I asked and Emmett froze, eyes wide as I turned to stare at him.
"Would you let it go if we said 'nothing'?" Rose asked hopefully.
I narrowed my eyes and started growling. Emmett backed away, hands up in supplication. "I was gonna pretend to throw you in the pool." He immediately admitted. He was terrified I was going to give him another Wet Willy and so he usually capitulated and admitted his wrongs instantly. It was pretty gratifying to have my Thunder Buddy so scared of me.
"I'm fully clothed still and have my phone in my pocket." I said, discreetly pulling it out of my back pocket and setting it on the table behind me.
"Pffft, relax. We were only going to tease you." Rose snorted, and I grinned when I noticed she was still clothed, too.
"Do you have your phone on you?" I asked suddenly.
"No, it's in my purse- NOOO!" she squealed as I grabbed her and shoved her into the pool along with myself. Unlike her, I didn't actually care about getting my clothes wet. My phone, however, must be protected. IT MUST! But, other than that, I cackled as we surfaced and listened to Rose sputter and rage at me. "You fegging little tramp!"
I nearly dunked myself I was laughing so hard. "You said 'fegging'!"
"Why are the girls in the pool with their clothes on?" I heard Edward ask his brother.
"We were gonna jokingly threaten to toss Bell in the pool and she raged at us about her phone, then tackled Rosie into the water." Emmett explained.
I sat on a submerged ledge in the deep end and started stripping my clothes and shoes off while the boys were distracted. What? I had my bikini on beneath it. Heathens.
I smirked when Edward glanced over at me, did a double-take, and proceeded to choke on his soda. Turning my back to him, I perched delicately on the edging of the pool and sighed happily. Things really were good. I was content until a random thought appeared in my head. What about college? "Fudge crackers." I whispered. You'll get three months with him and that's it, Sugar Tits. Rose's voice popped into my head and I growled.
"Uh… should I leave you alone?" Emmett asked cautiously.
Heaving a sigh, I gave him an apologetic look. "Naw, sorry, Em. Just some nasty thoughts in my head. I'll be fine."
"You're worrying over nothing, you know." He said, sitting down with me and putting his feet in the water.
I gave him Rose's patented 'Bitch Brow' and waited a moment before asking, "And you know what I'm worrying about?"
"Yep." He said, popping the 'p' at the end. "Just talk to him about it." He nudged my shoulder and I sighed.
"Where'd he go?" I asked when I looked behind me and both Rose and Edward were nowhere to be seen.
"They left us for each other!" He exclaimed dramatically and wrapped a huge arm around my shoulder.
"I guess that means we have to get married and have a dozen kids." I sighed and leaned my head on his shoulder. "Whatevah shall we do?!" I asked in an exaggerated Southern Belle voice.
"Get the hell off my woman!" Edward snapped jokingly and shoved Emmett into the pool. Thankfully, I did not get dragged with the big oaf. Sitting behind me, Edward had his legs on either side of me, dipping into the water, while his arms wrapped around me tightly. "Why were you two talking about marrying each other and having kids?" He sulked.
"Because you and Rose ran off with each other. It was quite scandalous. Emmett and I had to console one another." I stated as carelessly as I could.
He chuckled and kissed my shoulder. "Oh, I see. So…" he paused a moment. "You want to tell me the real reason Emmett was comforting you?"
I tensed, annoyed that he could see through me that easily. Taking a deep breath and releasing it, I turned my head and kissed him hard. Surprised but seemingly willing, he cupped the base of my skull and held our mouths fused together. "I'm worried about starting college and you realizing what a pain in the ass I am and how not worth it I'll be." I blurted when we pulled apart for air.
His eyes widened in his flushed face as he gaped at me. "You're not serious…" he asked aghast.
I glared. "Um, yeah, I am." I snarked and stood, turning to face him… which, of course, put my chest directly into his face. "Quit perving over the twins!" I snapped and his eyes lazily dragged away before meeting mine. "You are a friggin WORLD FAMOUS star and I'm just plain old Bella Swan. Nothing special. I've got nothing but sarcasm and snark to offer, not to mention a healthy dose of clumsiness-"
"God damn it, would you STOP belittling yourself?!" His anger froze me wide-eyed. "You are fucking gorgeous! Every straight guy, excluding Emmett, has been ogling you and trying to get your attention since before I came back home. Just ask Emmett and Rose. You're smart, funny, caring, loyal to a fault, and amazingly fierce," he pulled me closer to him, nearly knocking me off balance, "so fucking sexy," he growled and my mouth went dry as he stood, his hands cupping my bottom, "and no one has ever moved me the way you do. I don't want anyone else. I'm so terrified you'll meet someone else you like better. Someone with less hassle and bullshit on their plate than me. Someone smarter. Someone better. Bella-"
I pressed myself tightly against him and we toppled backward into the pool. I wrapped my legs around his waist and didn't even bother trying to swim as he kicked upward and moved us back to the submerged ledge. "Bella, I love you. I was going to surprise you but I think you may kill me if I wait any longer."
"Edward, what-" I frowned, my legs still around him, my hands on his shoulders.
"I'm going to college with you. Emmett helped me enroll." He blurted quickly. My mouth was gaped open and I could only emit squeaks. I finally squealed, bouncing in his lap (causing him to groan) before kissing him again.
"Would you kids mind not soiling the pool?" Rose snarked obnoxiously.
I pulled away from Edward's parted lips, his eyes were still closed, and giggled softly. "Too late." I whispered and wiggled in his lap, moving against his very visceral reaction. His eyes shot wide and he whimpered, his pupils dilated.
"Ffffffuuuuuuuuu- Bella, you can't say things like that when there are witnesses." He growled, his face looking a little desperate.
I chuckled and moved to get off of his lap. "Sorry, love." I said completely unrepentant.
"Where do you think you're going?" He asked, his teeth clenched tight, his arms holding me in place.
"Saving your life." I whispered, glancing over his shoulder. I pushed away from him just in time. "Hi, Daddy!" I called cheerfully from the middle of the deep end.
Edward blushed brightly and discreetly adjusted himself as my dad called back a greeting. "Thank you." he mouthed and I sighed, nodding, before dunking myself and swimming over to Em and Rose.
EDWARD POV
When she swam backwards from me and called to her father, I felt like throwing up a little from fear. The man owns several guns and was Chief of police here. Oh yeah, he could make it look like an accident. I thought in mild panic. I mouthed my thanks to Bella, who sighed, nodding, and swam off. Bummer. I mentally groused as I adjusted myself a second time. Fear or not, I was still aching to touch her.
I couldn't believe how blind she was in regards to how amazing she is. She could do so much better than me. My heart ached at the thought of losing her to some med or law student. I looked over to her in all her beautiful glory as Emmett hoisted her onto his left shoulder while Rose was on his right. Show off.
Then she did the one thing that immediately reassured me. "I love you." She mouthed and my heart tried to catapult out of my chest. I grinned and mouthed it back. Rose gagged and Bella shoved her off of Emmett into the water, making us all laugh, even Rose as she sputtered.
Guests started to filter in and I felt myself grow more and more agitated at the amount of guys vying for her attention. "Emmett, how many people did you and Rose invite?" I growled at my brother as yet another guy swaggered up to Bella and started up a conversation, hanging onto her every word. "Do I need to put a fuckin ring on her to get these douches to back the fuck off?" I snarled as this dark haired behemoth reached forward and tried to tuck a wet lock of hair behind her ear.
She leaned away from him and gave him the bitch brow. I fucking loved that look. Especially when it wasn't directed at me.
"Cool your jets, bro. Just listen to her." Emmett chuckled and I waited, missing what the guy had asked.
Immediately suspicious of the bright, happy look, nod, and blush she sported, I was surprised when she looked over and gestured to me, blowing me a kiss. I grinned at the crestfallen look the guy had as he tried to continue the conversation where he had left off.
I tried not to laugh as I was swarmed by a small group of girls, looking over at Bella's scowl. Yeah. We both knew how the other felt.
"So, how come we've never met before?" The blonde asked trying to squeeze her breasts together to get me interested. "I'm Lauren, by the way."
I coughed to cover up my laugh when I noticed Bella and Rose simultaneously mouth: "SLUT!" It could have been 'sluts,' plural. Hard to tell when one wasn't speaking aloud.
"Well, probably because I lived with mine and Emmett's uncle and cousin in LA for the last few years." I began.
"Oh, that must have been so exciting! LA! Why did you live with them instead of here?" the girl who had initially introduced herself as Jessica asked.
"Yeah, LA was pretty cool. Excuse me." I said and waded away from the vapid girls clinging to my every word as that giant guy was still doing to Bella. "Bells!" I called and she looked over to me happily. I gestured her over and she excused herself from the small gathering around her.
I backed up and held my arms out to her. She jumped at me, knocking us both under, and we were both laughing as we surfaced. "My hero." She whispered and nuzzled my neck. Finally relaxed, I held onto her tightly and kissed her quick and hard in front of everyone.
"Think that'll make them back off?" I whispered into her ear.
She shivered and nipped at my chin playfully. "For a while, at least. And if I cling to you, the guys, at the very least, will back off. The skank brigade, however…" We both cringed as Jessica and Lauren came over to us, shooting my Bella death glares. "Yeah, they're real subtle." She snorted and I threw my head back and laughed.
"I don't care." I shrugged and kissed her softly, lingering. "I love you."
"I love you, too. Even though you're crazy." She replied and I laughed again, both of us ignoring the collective gasps.
"So," the blonde broad with the nasally voice said, "how did you two meet?"
We both looked at her like she was an idiot. "Through Emmett and Rose." Bella said slowly, raising a brow.
I grinned. "I owe them for introducing me to the love of my life." I said bravely. Bella sent me a soft look and hugged me tightly.
"Well, that's so sweet." Jessica gushed, her left eye twitching, her hand resting on my bicep.
"Whoooooooores!" Bella growl/whispered in my ear. It is getting really hard not to laugh, damn it! I bit my bottom lip and grinned down at my girl. "No touchy." Bella said and removed Jessica's hand from me.
"Sorry." She replied but sounded anything but.
Charlie called me over to help him man the grill and proceeded to grill me about my intentions with Bella. I was completely and utterly honest.
"I love her, even when she verbally unmans me." Charlie threw his head back and laughed. I grinned, continuing. "I've had my fill of fake people and relationships thanks to my past career. All I want is to be with her, make her happy, and I pray that it one day leads to her being my wife. I want her to have everything she's ever wanted and to see her smile every day. I want her happiness above my own, even if it means stepping aside so she can pursue her own career or even," I swallowed and rubbed my chest over my heart, "somebody else romantically."
"I swear to god, if you knock her up out of wedlock, I will make it look like an accident." He threatened with the grill tongs in my face.
I blanched but nodded vigorously. "Don't worry, sir. I would never disrespect her like that. Besides, I don't think she would want children out of wedlock and neither of us are ready to be parents. With all due respect, sir, we've only been dating for a few days and a physical relationship just isn't in the cards right now. We both have more important things than… well, sex." We both cringed at the word for different reasons.
"Good answer, son. As long as you keep her happy and protect her to the best of your ability, that includes from idiot paparazzi, then you have my blessing. If you want to marry her and you think you two are ready, talk to me first, we'll talk about the details, but I've always liked you and your brother. Don't mess this up. My little girl is crazy about you." He ruffled my hair and I grinned, chuckling.
"Thanks, Charlie." I said and surprised him with a quick hug.
He chuckled and pushed me away. "Alright. Git'on, boy." He grumbled, his face a little red from embarrassment.
"Holy shit!" Emmett blurted when I was close enough. "That was a true blessing for you two to marry, wasn't it?" My shit-eating grin was answer enough.
"Where's Bella? The ribs are done and I know she wanted some." I said and looked around. Emmett whistled and looked away causing me to narrow my eyes suspiciously. "What did you do?"
Rose and Bella came outside laughing hysterically, each holding two giant Pixi Stix. "I may have given them energy drinks first." Emmett said and my eyes nearly bugged out of my head.
"Charlie is gonna kill you." I breathed. "Mother of God."
"Hi Daddy!" Bella said, scaring the crap out Charlie and I tried my best not to laugh. Then he saw the candy and Bella pointed over in my direction.
I stepped away from Emmett and pointed at him. "Emmett McCarty Cullen, I need to have a word with you, boy!" Charlie called and Emmett squealed like a girl before running away. I may or may not have stuck my foot out, causing the idiot to trip. Charlie sauntered over and put his foot on Emmett's back as most of the guests watched on in amusement. I had a feeling this wasn't the first time this happened.
"It wasn't my fault!" He yelped and held still.
"Did you know that Bella had a whole pot of coffee to herself this morning? And that I had specifically asked your parents not to have any energy drinks in the house?" Charlie asked conversationally, his mustache twitching.
"Um, no?"
"You know, I don't like being lied to, boy." I was biting my cheek to keep from roaring with laughter. "I could live with her having one, even after the coffee. But two large energy drinks and two of those giant tubes of pure sugar? Are you trying to kill me? Cause I swear," Charlie chuckled and I was starting to feel a little afraid for my idiot brother, "if I die trying to contain my baby girl, I will haunt you for the rest of your life."
Why the hell are they acting like she's an unsupervised five-year-old? It bothered me a little, the way they were treating this. "And if I have to take her to the hospital, you're as good as dead." He added and helped Emmett to stand.
"Why would she go to the hospital?" I asked, starting to get worried.
"As hilarious as this evening is about to become, you need to know one thing about my daughter. Bella has a type of hypoglycemia that has an interesting effect when she has massive amounts of sugar. She becomes, what we like to call, Sugar-Drunk. It's almost like it converts it to alcohol. Do me a favor and make sure she doesn't have access to the internet. I really do not want to have her sign me up for anger management again or for her to take sky-diving lessons. It gets worse, the longer she has access- Oh hell. Go! Get her phone away from her now! I see her trying to dig through my bag for my credit card!"
I ran over to Bella, laughing my ass off, and threw her over my shoulder. "No, baby. That's a bad idea."
"But Rose and I think signing up for Aerobic Stripping would be so AWESOME!" she giggled as I pocketed her phone. I froze and pulled out her phone, gaping at it. Yep. It was exactly how it sounded.
"You don't need your dad's card, Bella. This one's on me." I chuckled as she cheered upside down. I took her inside the house and had Dad instruct me on how to care for a Sugar-Drunk Bella. This relationship just got even more interesting. I didn't even know that was possible.
I happily followed her around while she bounced off the walls and told me things about her life I probably would have never learned if Emmett hadn't gotten her and Rose all hyped up. By six, most of the guests had gone home except for Jessica and Lauren. They offered to "help" me take care of Bella. She actually hissed at them and flipped them the bird. I burst out laughing when they backed up and bid their farewells.
"Rose is going to make her actually go to that Aerobics class, you know that, right?" I nodded cheerfully and high-fived him. Rose giggled and snuggled with Bella on the couch while they whispered to one another. "Also, you're gonna need to cater to Bella tomorrow. She'll have the worst headache. Dad'll give her some good migraine pills since it was my fault. She never would have drunk two energy drinks but I kept swapping them out until she finished both and then gave her and Rosie the candy. Rose is gonna have my ass on a platter tomorrow." He shuddered.
"I'm surprised the Chief didn't take her home with him." I murmured thoughtfully.
"We're keeping the girls tonight. Emmett," Mom said and he shrank down, "you're getting up at the crack of dawn and going to clean the pool. Then you are going to pick up all of the trash. Then," she added and he groaned, "you are going to bathe, and come help me prepare breakfast. Rose and Bella will be sharing the spare room and my door will be OPEN all night."
Mom was scary when one of her babies was hurting. And according to EVERYONE, Bella was her newest baby and she was apparently going to be suffering big time tomorrow. I glared at Emmett and looked worriedly over at Bella who was starting to doze, her head on Rose's chest while Rose stroked her hair.
"But what if Bella needs something in the middle of the night? Will Rose be okay enough through a sugar crash to help her?" I was actually starting to fret. "How bad does it get when she's like this?"
Mom ran her fingers through my hair and looked torn. "Well, I know since she's not feeling well and you're not a jerk… I think it will be okay if she sleeps in your room. Is that okay? Then if she gets sick, you can help her to the bathroom or get her whatever she needs. I really don't think I can handle getting up several times a night to check on her."
I nodded and squeezed her hand. "That would make me feel better, Mom."
"She shouldn't get too sick since your father made sure she was hydrated and you've been taking good care of her." She murmured thoughtfully and looked over at Bella again.
"Okay. My door stays wide open and I'll call you or Dad if I need help." Mom nodded and smiled down at me.
"You two are good for each other." She said and walked off.
"That's not fair!" Emmett sulked.
"What the hell are you talking about, dick head? I have to have my girlfriend in my room so that I can help her to the toilet if she needs to puke or get her water if she starts getting dehydrated." Then I caught his look and thumped the back of his head. "I'm not taking advantage of her, dumbass. She's gonna be sick tomorrow cause of you and she and I aren't even on a physical level past kissing. This isn't sexual and you're an idiot." I snapped, walking away from him as he babbled apologies.
I carefully picked up my sleeping angel, disentangling her from Rose's sleepy embrace, and carried her to my room.
Rose stumbled in my room behind me with a green camouflage bag and shoved me out, closing my door. "Rude." I muttered and waited, knowing Rose was helping Bella change.
BELLA POV
Edward's arms were warm and strong as he lifted me and carried me to a bed. I yawned and blinked my eyes open when I heard the door shut and saw Rose pulling out my pajamas. "Wha's goin on?" I slurred.
"You're sleeping in Edward's room with him so he can take care of you in case you get sick tonight. Mama C and Dr. Dad are cool with it." I nodded and smiled happily. I loved the idea of sleeping in Edward's arms.
"And my dad?" I asked through a huge yawn as Rose helped me dress.
"Thinks the parents are taking care of you." She answered and kissed my forehead when she tucked me in. I hugged the pillow and breathed deeply, my stomach only hurting a little.
Smells so good. Smells like him. Edward came in and I wondered if he was upset at having to take care of me. I felt kind of like a baby, needing all this attention. But Emmett had essentially 'Spiked the Bella', so it wasn't really my fault. But I wondered what Edward would think of my little "condition."
"Hey, beautiful." He murmured and I smiled. Guess that answers that.
"Hey yourself." I sighed and rolled onto my back.
"So, Sugar-Drunk, huh? That's different." He said and stroked my hair out of my face. I sighed again and leaned into his touch, my face flushed from slight embarrassment.
"Mm-hm. Sick of me yet?" I asked jokingly.
"Not in the slightest. Although, I have to admit, I was really entertained when you hissed at a couple of girls who wouldn't get away from me."
I groaned and dragged a hand down my face. "Oh God, I didn't." I muttered.
"You did. And then flipped them off. They left quickly after that but I don't care. I'm just glad they're gone and I hope I never have to see them again." He said and stood, starting to strip.
"Wha-what are you doing?" I squeaked, my heart rate kicking up a few notches.
"I sleep in my underwear. Is… is that okay?" He asked, looking unsure all of a sudden.
He stood in nothing but a dark grey pair of tight boxer-briefs and I swallowed. "It depends, do you have a napkin for my drool?" I blurted and he grinned, his face reddening.
"You sure know how to show a girl a good time." He batted his lashes jokingly and chuckled, climbing under the covers next to me. I snorted and snuggled up to him, sighing heavily in deep contentment when his arms came around me. His heart beat against his chest where my ear rested and the steady thump-thumping had me drifting. He grabbed some kind of remote off of his nightstand and the lights snuffed out. "Love you, pretty girl."
"Love you, sexy boy." I said and yawned, finally crashing hard.
A/N: So, how do you like Sugar-Drunk Bella? This actually happens to me, btw. It's awesome and horrible. Sugar-hangovers are the worst, too. I'd rather just be actual hungover from alcohol. It's seriously easier to deal with. Anyway, This version of Edward and Bella, I can't remember if I've said this before, are modeled after my husband and I and our special brand of nucking futs. Many hearts! I hoped you enjoy! Remember, I post on the Sunday/Monday inbetweener thingy... whatever. XD Review if there is something you would like to see and I haven't done it yet. True, I am already four chapters in, but there is ALWAYS room for helpful and fun ideas. Love you guys, gals, and inbetweens!
Toodle Pip!
Blood Everlasting
