Seeley's Reasoning

Chapter One

Disclaimer: I don't own Seeley Booth, Rebecca, Parker, Dr Temperance Brennan or Bones. Jared is not mine either. sob sob I do own Moira and the plot though.

A/N: Here it is. After request the sequel to Rebecca's Decision. Not necessary to have read Rebecca's Decision but it might make more sense if you do. Also I'd like to say a special thank you to Mendenbar for the great suggestions which helped me get this off the ground. So thanks! Anyway hope you like


Sitting waiting for her in the diner, Special Agent Seeley Booth felt something flutter in his chest that he hadn't felt for a long time. Something that he hadn't let himself feel in a long time. Something that he had been desperately trying to deny for the last two years but now knew he couldn't deny any longer. He knew that this wasn't right, he wasn't meant to feel like this about her. After all, she was Dr Temperance Brennan, his partner.

He knew he couldn't lie to himself anymore. He knew he had been trying to bury this feeling deep inside him, to ignore it. There was no way this could work, even though he knew inside of him that he wanted it to work. He knew this feeling off by heart, a heart that had been broken the last time he had let anyone get that far in.

Love.


Three months later and Booth was still trying to come to grips with the fact that she was gone. She was the love of his life. And she was gone. Not only that but she had practically cut him out of her life. He couldn't believe it. She was pregnant with his child and he could barely get a chance to speak to her. She had moved back home to stay with her mother, and every time he called it was her who answered. Every time he got the same words as answer: "Sorry Seeley, she's still not ready to talk to you. Maybe next time. Just don't give up trying." So he kept on trying. A phone call every week. Always the same answer. After three months he was starting to give up, even though he knew he shouldn't. This child was as much his as it was hers. He should be able to know how it was doing. But he knew he would never pressure her into talking to him if she wasn't ready to. He had a great respect for Rebecca even though they were no longer together and so he continued to call every week, just to check up on her and the baby.

Sitting in his lonely apartment, Booth thought, about how much time he had been spending here in recent months. Not much. After Rebecca had refused to marry him he had plunged himself into his work, finishing overdue paperwork that had been gradually mounting on his desk for weeks. Now that that was done, he didn't have any reasons to stay after work, which meant the inevitable going home to an empty apartment, to a microwave meal for one with a beer and the TV for company. Not really a way to live, but at the moment he wasn't really ready to join the world of dating again. Some of his friends had tried to get him to go out with them to clubs at the weekends but he had politely declined and when they pushed, he had threatened to shoot them, which always seemed to get them to clear out of his office in a hurry.

Deciding that enough was enough, Booth decided he would take a step forward back into the real world, instead of one that revolved around his job. Looking at the microwavable meal in his hand, he gently shook his head and stuck it back in the fridge. Not tonight. Tonight, I move on with my life.

>>

Booth pulled up outside of a small Chinese restaurant in downtown DC

"Wong Fu's. Hm, why not? Let's try something new."

Walking in he took in the cosy atmosphere the quiet restaurant gave out. The whole place was decorated with red hanging lanterns and wraparound booths which gave the occupants privacy. Booth instantly liked it. Just walking in had cheered up and had him happier than he had been in months. Deciding against sitting alone in a booth, he settled himself in one of the many stools that surrounded the bar, which ran the whole length of the restaurant.

Shortly a man appeared before him, a dish cloth in hand. The man who he guessed was the owner or at least bartender placed a bottle of beer in front of him, before giving him a smile and starting back towards the door he had come through.

"Your food will only be a minute."

Booth starred confusedly back at him. "But I haven't even ordered yet!"

The man gave a chuckle. "This is Wong Fu's. You don't order. Just let me bring you what you want."

Booth shook his head as the man finally disappeared through the door. "How could he possibly know what I want, if he doesn't ask? Never mind. I said I would try something new, so it's my own fault."

Booth sat there sipping his beer, wondering how he had managed to let his life get so out of hand recently. Shortly the man returned, placing a plate of Mu Shu Pork, with mandarin pancakes and hoisin sauce in front of him. Booth looked at it with awe.

"How…how did you do that? That's exactly what I wanted."

The man just smiled. "A chef never tells his secrets. This your fist time here? I've never seen you before."

Booth just nodded his mouth too full to talk. "Yeah." He held out a hand. "Seeley Booth."

The man took it. "Sid. I'm the owner of Wong Fu's."

Sid grabbed his dish cloth again and started to polish a glass. "So, my friend, you look like you need to talk. Something bothering you?"

Booth didn't know why but something made him trust this man and so throwing all caution to the wind, he started to regale his tale to a complete stranger.


Booth smiled as he recalled the first time he had met Sid. That day had been nearly six years ago but he was still friendly with the bartender and often stopped by for dinner now and then or just for a chant with someone he knew would listen. He hadn't been there in a while, the squint squad had recently started going to a new dinner closer to the Jeffersonian, which was where he was now. Sitting in the booth he knew it wasn't quite like Wong Foos but if wasn't bad and it made some killer Apple Pie.

He thought of his life now. He had a great job, a brilliant son who was going to be five soon, and a partner who he…loved. Oh man this wasn't supposed to happen. Sure he cared for her, maybe even had a brotherly love for her but Love? That wasn't right.

He smiled when he thought of his son. His little boy. Parker was four years old, five in July and Booth loved him more than he thought was possible. He recalled the moment that Parker had come into the world. He had been there, though only through great persuasion from Rebecca's mother to let him. He really had a lot to thank that woman for.


Booth was sat in his kitchen when the call came. A voice he knew well filled his ear. Muting the TV he turned his full attention to the woman on the end of the line.

"Hey Moira. How are you?"

"I'm fine, Seeley. But that's not why I'm calling. Look its Rebecca. She's gone into labour and I think you should be there. I managed to convince Rebecca to let you come, so I suggest you get down here pronto before she changes her mind. We're at DC General, she's in Room 206."

Booth had already grabbed his jacket, slipped it on and was putting on his shoes. Grabbing his keys, he bolted out the door. Pulling the automatic locking system shut as he went Booth sprinted down the corridor, deciding that it would be quicker to take the stairs, he started down them.

"Thank you, Moira. You have no idea how much this means to me. I don't know how to thank you enough."

"You're very welcome, Seeley. Now all I want from you is to get your butt down here in one piece and see the birth of your little boy."

Hanging up, Booth jogged the remaining way to his SUV quickly starting the engine and pulling out of the parking lot started making his way through the afternoon DC traffic.

>>

With the help of his sirens and flashing lights, Booth made his way to the hospital in record time in the rush hour traffic. Gotta love being a FBI Agent. Booth smirked to himself as he entered the elevator that was already crammed with people. Pushing the button for the fifth floor, Booth settled back against the wall, waiting for his turn to get out.

Shortly the doors opened with a ping on the fifth floor. He headed towards the reception desk, making his way through the throng of people that were bustling around the busy waiting area. He put on a smile as he finally reached the desk.

"Hi, I'm looking for Room 206, Rebecca Hargreaves?"

The young woman gave him a shy smile back, before turning her attention to the question in hand. "Oh yes, down the hall on your left. Can't miss it."

"Thanks." Booth flashed another smile, as he made his way down the corridor, in a brisk walk. When he arrived outside the door, he paused, hand on the doorknob. Should he go in? Would she want him there? Would he only make it worse?

"Just go in, Seeley. She wants you there, even if she doesn't admit it." Booth jumped at the sound of the voice behind him. He turned to face Rebecca's father, who he gave a nod to before opening the door.

Walking in, he gently shut the door and walked towards the bed. He smiled when Rebecca looked at him. She gave him a small nod of acknowledgement and he walked the rest of the way to the bed taking her hand that lay on the side of the bed.

"Hey. How you doing?"

"As well as expected I expect." Booth mouthed a thank you as Rebecca's mum quietly slipped out the door leaving the pair to themselves.

>>

"AAAAAGH!!!" Rebecca's scream filled the air as she gave a last push and slumped forward exhausted. There was a pause until a tiny cry filled the air in the hospital room. Both parents smiled and Booth felt tears of joy in his eyes. Or it could have been from the pain of Rebecca squeezing his hand but he liked to think it was from joy.

A short while later and a small bundle wrapped in blue was placed into Rebecca's arms. Booth leaned in and he got the first look at his baby boy. He had dark brown hair that was sticking up in all directions reminiscent of his when he was younger, or had just gotten out of bed. The baby gave a little yawn and cuddled harder into the blanket that he was wrapped inside.

Booth looked lovingly at the child that was so definitely his and asked the question that had been plaguing his mind since the little boy had been born. "Can…can I hold him?" Booth's voice cracked with emotion.

Silently Rebecca nodded, holding the little boy out from her chest so Booth could pick him up. Gently Booth picked him up, placing one arm gently behind the little boy's head. "Hey little guy, I'm your daddy." Booth gently placed a finger beside the little boys hand and was overcome with emotion when the little boy took hold of it.

Fighting back tears, Booth silently vowed to look after this little boy and never let anything happen to him. He would protect him with his life if necessary. Smiling Booth tore his eyes away from the bundle in his arms for a moment to ask the other question that he had been pondering for the last five months since he had learned it was going to be a boy.

"What's his name?"

"Parker. His name's Parker Booth."


Booth could vividly remember that moment. The moment when she had let him back in a tiny bit. He had been overjoyed that she had given Parker his last name and she had put him on the birth certificate. If only getting the chance to see him was as easy.

"He's my son too Rebecca! I should get the right to see him too!" Booth's voice was raised in anger.

"Don't you yell at me! I get to decide when and if you get to see Parker and I'm telling you that this weekend is not a good time. Drew wants to take him to the zoo and I think it's a good idea that they get to bond a little bit. So I'm sorry Seeley, but this weekend isn't going to work!" Her tone had a slight authoritative tone to it, like she knew that she had all the power and that Booth had to play by her rules if he ever wanted to see Parker at all.

Booth sighed. "The weekend after?" It came out like a plea.

"I'm away at a conference and Drew is out of town so yeah that should work. You can pick him up Friday night and drop him off on Sunday." Booth breathed a sigh. That would have to do because it was the probably going to be the only time he got to see his son for a while.

"Thanks Rebecca." He knew that his voice had a resigned tone to it and she knew that she had won this round.


He loved when he finally did get to see Parker. He reminded him so much of himself and his brother when they were little. When they played together and nothing mattered and they didn't have fights that lasted for years.

Booth reminisced about the past, a small part of him wishing that it could have stayed that way forever.


"Jared! Over here!"

The football came flying through the air and landed in the arms of seven year old Seeley Booth. Sprinting up the pitch, he weaved through all the other players making his way to the end line. Diving he landed with a clatter on the ground, pushing the ball down just over the line. "Score!" Seeley started jumping up and down as the referee blew his whistle. They had won. "We won! We won Jared!" Seeley laughed as he was engulfed by a wave of other players on his team. But most of all he looked for Jared. He knew that even if the rest of the team didn't like him or thought he was too young to be in the top team he would be OK as long as he had Jared's approval. Jared was two years older than Seeley so he knew that there would always be competition between the two boys. Seeley laughed as his brother gave him a rough clap on the shoulder. "Did you see, Jared? I scored!" His young voice squeaked with excitement as he bounced up and down in the middle of the pitch. Jared just smiled at his little brother's antics. "You did good bro, you did good."


And Booth had been right. As the years went by the competition grew and grew between Seeley and his brother. Booth was a trouble maker who was smart but could never be bothered to spend the day in class working, when the sun was outside in the sky whereas Jared was top of his year with good test scores and full attendance for the whole year. Sometime the rivalry reached a peak and it was full stage war between the two.
Seeley Booth walked along the road with his three best friends. They were never separated, it was impossible, even the teachers couldn't keep them apart. That was when they were at school. Like many days the sun was high in the sky and Seeley and his mates had decided that the day would be better spent outside in the sun instead of holed up a dingy classroom that had the central heating on as though it was the middle of winter. Reaching their destination they plonked themselves down on the grass of the playing fields, about ten minutes away from their school.

"So what we going to do today?" Seeley as always was the first ready to make a scheme that usually got them in trouble but he always managed to weasel his way out of it with a flash of that darned charm smile. If even turned his teachers to mush which usually got him a much more lenient punishment than he would have other wise gotten. His mates were exceedingly jealous saying repeatedly that he could get himself out of anything with that smile.

"We could just play some football. It's only an hour until we have to get back if we want to get home on time."

"I suppose your right, Jake. Usually are." Seeley made a mock salute at his best friend who scowled at him and crossed his arms apparently not amused.

"Come on don't sulk. You and I can beat him any day." Mark piped up.

"Suck up. Just because your mum'll give you into trouble if you let him sulk. Any way what you say Seal, make them eat their words?" Ryan leaned in giving Seeley a gentle push in the shoulder. Nodding they all set off to their make shift game using an old football of Ryan's brothers, determined that their team would win.

>>

Seeley and Ryan's team won 6-4.

"You cheated."

"What! We did not cheat. If any one cheated it was you. I say that tackle!" Seeley raised an eyebrow accusingly at Jake who looked sheepishly before sticking his tongue out, back at Seeley.

Continuing on their way, they burst out in laughter as they recalled how they had spent their afternoon which had undoubtedly been better than if they had spent it in school.

As the approached the school a voice made them stop in their tracks. Seeley gulped. Apparently the school had been quick in getting the word out that they were MIA.

"SEELEY BOOTH! Where the heck have you been all afternoon? Out playing with these three idiots I suppose? If you think that I'm going to cover for you with mum then you are severely mistaken!" The unmistakeable sound of Jared's voice reached there ears. Seeley turned to face his brother.

"What does it matter where I was? And I didn't ask you to cover for me so you don't have to worry about your precious record of being a good boy getting blemished! Oh and for the record, Jared, they're not idiots." Seeley stressed the word Jared making it seem twice as long. Turning his back on his brother, Seeley continued down the road intent on heading home, until his brother's voice stopped him again.

"I'll get you pulled off the squad." Jared crossed his arms over his chest in a way that could only be described as annoyed. If Seeley hadn't been taken aback by what his brother had threatened to do, then he would have considered it a job well done that he had gotten his brother riled up.

Seeley's eyes were blazing. "You wouldn't dare!"

"I would, I could and I will. You have no respect for other people and if you can't be bothered to attend school then you shouldn't be able to play for the school team!"

Suddenly something twigged inside of Seeley's head. "Wait a minute… you're jealous! You're jealous that I got picked on the school football team over you!"

"What! I'm not jealous of a fifteen year old! Just because you think that the world revolves around you Seeley doesn't mean that everyone else thinks that too. Why would I be jealous of you; I bet that even if you buckled down and did your school work for the whole year on time, I would still have better grades than you! And you know why? Because I have a brain!" Even though Seeley wouldn't admit it, that comment stung. But everyone who knew Seeley knew that he would take a challenge when he was given one. And this time it was no different.


Booth smiled remembering how he had buckled down that whole year, finishing his homework, not skipping a single day of class and revising for his exams. He remembered how proud he had been when he got his exam results. 4 A's and a B. He even remembered how one of the teachers had congratulated him saying that he had worked really hard this year and that he deserved the exams results. Deciding that he didn't want to let go of this feeling of achievement he continued to work hard through his fifth and sixth years, getting eight passed exams in total . At the end he had actually decided to go to college. The army had paid for it and he went straight into service after graduation. Remembering his time in the army, Booth remembered some of the best and worst times in his life.
Seeley Booth crouched down behind the sand dune. If was like every other mission that he had been on. The target was in plain sight. Silently Booth let fire.

The water bomb flew silently through the air hitting the target right in the back of the head, exploding and running in torrents down the man's back and clothes. Whirring round the man turned and looked in the direction that he thought it had come from, looking slightly to the left of where Booth was hidden. Smirking to himself, Booth let fire another home made bomb straight into the face of the unsuspecting victim. Now the man had a clear idea of where it had come from and turned to see Booth smirking sitting beside a pile of water bombs.

"Seeley Booth. I am going to kick your ass!"

Booth sniggered. "Yeah yeah old man got to catch me first." Picking up another water bomb he flung it, hitting the man squarely on the chest before climbing to his feet preparing to make a hasty getaway. "That's for dropping me in it with Carter. Next time it won't be water bombs." Flashing him his infamous charm smile, Booth sprinted off in the direction of base camp, the other close on his heels.


The memory of the water bomb hitting Cooper's startled face was still fresh in Booth's memory all these years later and still it brought him to a fit of giggles like a teenager. He knew that water fights during a war was probably not a very sensible thing but it was one of those things that kept him sane. Little everyday things where war wasn't a factor and they could just be themselves again. Not Major Booth but just plain old Seeley Booth from Philadelphia.

But it wasn't all fun and games. There had been the missions that still brought Booth walking up in the middle of the nights sweating and screaming from the nightmares that still plagued his dreams on occasions.


The gun felt cold and hard in the hand of Major Seeley Booth as she stared down the barrel waiting for the target to come into view. He knew that by the end of the day he would have taken another life. A life which could never be reclaimed. He knew that what he was doing was helping people but deep down there was that niggling doubt that kept asking if what he was doing was really worth it. Was taking a life saving others? Did it make a difference or did it just make him a killer? These thoughts had been tormenting Booth for a long time and every time he took another shot he felt it come back bigger and stronger than the last time.

Watching he saw the target step out a door from the building where his son's birthday party was currently taking place. Trying to undoubtedly slip away.

Not on Booth's watch, he wasn't.

Tightening his grip on the trigger, Booth slowed his heartbeat down so the sound of it moments ago pounding in his ears disappeared until he could hear nothing. Checking his aim he pulled the trigger, just as the door behind the target opened.

Time slowed for Booth as the bullet hit the man dead on target, between the eyes. He had seen that happen dozens of times. Been the cause of just as many. But that wasn't the thing that made Booth's blood run cold. Beside the door, there was a figure. The man's child. He had stepped out just at the time Booth had pulled the trigger. Seen his father fall to the ground, dead. Something inside of Booth snapped at that moment as he watched the little boy, who must have been only six or seven years old, sitting in a puddle of his father blood watching him die. Something that Booth had caused. That little boy would never get his father back and he would probably remember that day for the rest of his life. If only he had opened the door a moment later. If only Booth had pulled the trigger a little faster. But that was all "if only's", one thing Booth was certain of was that he couldn't do this any longer.


Shaking his head to get rid of the memory, Booth decided to think of cheerier thoughts. He wondered what Brennan was doing and the squints. He knew that she was meant to be meeting him but not for at least another half hour. Booth had come early to avoid the pile of paperwork on his desk that really needed to be done.

Thinking about the squints brought about another set of memories that had previously been lurking at the back of his mind.


Walking into the Jeffersonian, Booth wondered what the squints were doing today. Looking around he noticed that the usually occupied platform was empty. Heading down a corridor his eyes finally settled on Hodgins and Zach beside one of the work benches. Obviously doing something they shouldn't be doing, Booth decided to have a closer look. Looking over Hodgins shoulder he posed his question.

"What cha doing?"

Hodgins let out a squeal that sounded remarkably like a girls. "Jeez man! Don't do that!"

Ignoring him, Booth got a good look at what they were up to. Aaah, racing beetles.

"Do you guys ever do any work? Anyway seen Bones?"

Hodgins who seemed to have gotten over his scare nodded. "Yeah I think she's in Angela's office. Angela had a new face that she needed to give to Brennan."

Nodding Booth headed over to the artists office.

"Hey Angela, Bones. What you up to today?" Walking in he deposited himself on Angela's couch.

Booth, what are you doing here? Do we have a case?" Her eyes lit up at the prospect of a new case.

"Alas, no new cases."

"Then what are you doing here?" Brennan's tone had gotten impatient after she realised that there was nothing new for her to examine.

"Cant I come visit my favourite forensic anthropologist once in a while? What you talking about anyway?"

Angela smiled. "We were talking about college and how we first met."

Booth let out a laugh. "Oh, college. That was a laugh."

Brennan looked like she had just learned a new and interesting fact. "You went to college?"

At that moment, Hodgins and Zach strolled in obviously tired of racing beetles. "Who went to college? I remember college. Lots of drinking and frat parties."

Booth looked at her and rolled his eyes. "Yeah of course I went to college, Bones. You need a degree before you can join the FBI."

Brennan cocked an eyebrow at him. "What did you study then? You obviously got your degree, since you're working for the FBI." Her tone sounded disbelieving.

Booth crossed his arms in indignation. "Are you saying I couldn't do a degree?"

Brennan realising her mistake in the phrasing of her question hurried to cover her mistake, not wanting to hurt Booth's feelings. "NO! No that's not what I meant. It's just you've never spoken about college and you always seem to have a problem with people with PhDs."

Booth opened his mouth to object. "I do not have a problem with PhDs!"

Brennan deciding to drop this subject posed her earlier question. "What did you study?"

Booth looked up from where he had previously been studying the carpet. "Me? I studied Law."

That got everyone's attention. Hodgins was the first to get his voice back. "Law? You're a lawyer?"

"Yeah."

Angela gave him a wink and a smile. "So that explains the lawyer thing. Eh sweetie?"

Booth just rolled his eyes.

Brennan looked at him. "How long? A year?"

Booth shook his head. "Nope. The whole three years in the JD course. I finished and graduated third top of my year."

Brennan looked at him. "A JD? That's the equivalent of a doctorate."

Booth nodded. "Yeah I know."

Brennan looked at him. "You're cleared for bar?"

"Yeah. In Washington DC and in Philadelphia but I don't practise."

Hodgins just shook his head. "I don't believe it. You're really a lawyer?"

Standing up Booth ignored his comment. "So who's hungry? Wong Fu's?"


Chuckling Booth thought about how they had pestered him for details for a week after that day. Then again they were always pestering him about something. Usually about whether they could have a gun or not.

And ultimately that brought him back to the topic of Bones. His partner who was always there for him and who he would always be there for, back in turn. But there was nothing he could do was there, a relationship between the two of them wouldn't work would it? And there was that darn line that he had drawn between them. That relationships between colleagues wouldn't work. But yet a part of him was willing to give it a shot. That they would never know what they were missing until they gave it a shot.

Booth thought over something Rebecca had said to him in passing the last time he had gone to pick up Parker. "Don't let it go by Seeley." At the time he hadn't understood what she meant but now he did.

Booth made a decision. He wasn't a coward! He was going to find out if the feelings he had for her were returned. If they weren't then they could go back to being partners and friends. And if she did feel the same? Well they would deal with that hurdle when they came to it. Well that was Seeley's reasoning.


A/N: You know what to do, press the button. Now on with the second chapter.

Lee.