Disclaimer: Don't own Naruto. If I did, my friend would be Pein's girlfriend (she'd force me into it!).
I let the rain soak me completely. God's cold tears felt so warm.
How could rain feel so warm? It was probably mixing with my tears.
It was the day I've lost them. Nagato and Yahiko. They're now the man I've come to know and love…
I was far from the Akatsuki hideout for the day, at a nearby lake. Visiting where my two friends died was out of the question. Pein – that was what he called himself now, he seemed to like it better – knew it would be too hard for me.
I held my kunai limply in my left hand, looking at it blankly. It glistened in the rain, and I could see myself blurrily on the surfaces.
I don't know what compelled me to bring the kunai across my left wrist. But despite the pain, I felt better. The harsh stinging was ignored, as I welcomed a feeling of refreshment and relief. I never knew this was so pleasurable. Now I see why so many people do it.
A second time it slashes my left wrist, narrowly missing an important vein. I made sure not to cut that close to it again.
After so long, I still mourn. I can't become as hard as Pein. I can't become as emotionless, discarded, as distant as my friend. Oh, how I'm glad he can't see me now. He would be disgusted at the pathetic sight we all know is me.
But I don't care what my beloved friend thinks, right now. I'm in mourning at this point.
It's a wonder how I can still look at Pein. He changed. He was so…different. Despite the hard things we went through, he was still a kind, gentle boy, until that day. Still silent as ever, that much hasn't changed.
But…in a way, finishing off Yahiko was an act of kindness. He was half dead, after all. Nagato – Pein – later explained that there really wasn't any hope to saving him, so he sacrificed Yahiko to always keep him close.
Now, when Pein is in Yahiko's body, I feel so much sadness and closure…and pity. To have to kill one of your only friends…who was like a brother to you…the thought brought pure sadness and pain to my heart. I could only imagine what Pein felt, even though he most likely felt nothing, having locked up all his emotions long ago.
I brought the kunai across my other wrist, feeling much more refreshed then I did a second ago. The rain pounded against my skin, soothing the stinging cuts and numbing the pain. I felt absolutely nothing but pleasure.
I choked as I remembered the faces of my friends. Oh, how I tear up at the sight of them.
Another slash across my wrist. I sighed, closing my eyes. This was the closest I, the horrible sinner I am, could get to heaven, most likely. I've killed countless innocents. My first was still fresh in my mind.
"P-please!" The dark haired woman shouted in despair, "Do what you want with me! But please, don't hurt Miko! Plea—"
I forced back a lone tear, knowing that Pein was by my side, waiting.
My origami finished her off before she could plead again.
I felt Pein's large and rough hand on my shoulder; a silent comfort. I turned to the small, frail child. Her large sky blue eyes held unimaginable fear.
I couldn't look as her shrill screams pierced my eardrums. It was so full of fear and pain. Tears flowed freely then.
Pein left the home silently. I stayed a moment longer, letting a tear fall once more before wiped them away and followed.
I aimed for my wrist again but a warm, pale hand caught it before I could slash at it once more.
I looked into the intensely cold orbs, only to look away.
"When did you get here?" I asked quietly. By now I'd noticed the rain had stopped. Pein's ability to control rain was bizarre, yet I loved it. I could get an insight on what was happening in his icy heart.
"A while ago." I could tell he was examining me, not liking what he was coming up with. If anyone else were to see me, they'd find a distraught girl, hair sticking to her face, soaked cloak clinging to me as if it were my skin, with blood now slowly dripping from her wrists.
"How…how did you find me?"
He ignored the question, protruding bandages from the inside his cloak. They were gently wrapped around my right wrist.
"Left." He demanded quietly, yet his voice held so much power, so much authority.
I stayed silent as I held up my other wrist. He finished quickly, his gentle fingers skillfully working on the self-inflicted wounds. He didn't care for healing Jutsus, and I knew not to use any of them in front of him – not that I wanted to at the moment. Nagato…Pein… believed in dealing with suffering. That is why he named himself Pein, after all.
"Why?" His voice was quiet as he studied me blankly, sitting on his knees as he still held my wrist.
"Nagato…Yahiko…" I said distantly. He immediately caught on. Nagato also died that day he killed Yahiko. That was the moment Pein emerged.
"They wouldn't want to see you in this kind of mourning."
"The pain…it just feels too good," I admitted, not looking at him. I could sense him stiffening. He let go of my wrist and gripped my chin, forcing me to look at him. His eyes studied mine, not wavering in the intensity of his stare. I could only look back with numbness.
"Don't bring suffering upon yourself." He said gently, yet with cold and silent authority. "Suffering…does not suit you."
"Nor you." I blurted. It was then that I realized what I said. I felt some heat rise to my face, but Pein ignored it.
"Pain…will always be with me…"
"That's only if you want it to," I countered softly, "I'm following in your footsteps, Pein. I'm suffering."
His grip on my chin tightened.
"God's Angel shall not suffer." He stated firmly. I was taken aback at his statement. God's Angel? Surely, God's Angel doesn't sin as much as me…
"Then the Angel's Savior shall not suffer either." I stated as firmly.
This…this caught him off guard. His eyes widened a fraction of an inch, and then returned to normal size with the usual cold, distant look.
"The Angel's Savior…is worthless."
"Then God's Angel shall be as worthless as her Savior."
His grip on my chin loosened, yet his hand remained. We stared at each other for so long, none of us looked away, or even blinked. In a way, we were transfixed into our own world, where nothing I could understand was happening.
His warm hand…so soft…so gentle…so different from what everything Pein is.
"Pein," I gathered the courage to caress Pein's cheek. No one dared touch him, not even me, even if they were for different reasons.
His questioning gaze was my only reply, and I took that as a hint to keep going.
"Be…be my Savior..."
He was silent for even longer. The rain started again. Lightly, then pounding hard and loudly. He leaned forward and brushed his wet lips over mine, and whispered in my ear.
"Hai…my Angel…"
Author's Note: How's that for my first PeinKonan oneshot? I thought they were such a cool pairing, and this just kept running through my mind! Well, anyways, reviews are appreciated! Thanks for reading!
