Cygnus Olor

It's about a quarter after three when I say goodbye to my last student. I stand outside of the school for a moment, enjoying the slight breeze. It's a sunny day; the smog makes it a little hazy, but it's still a day that can be easily enjoyed.

I sigh, turning to take the short walk home, cradling the basket of books in the crook of my arm. Up ahead I see a group of SOLDIERs leaving the military office. I feel a slight cringe in my heart, but I shake it off easily. Well, easily is a bit of a stretch, but easier than I've been able to do it. A shock of bright yellow hair glints in the doorway of the office, and I smile bittersweet.

A tangle of memories and feelings, always with him,Cloud...he always brings back...

Cloud looks up, catching sight of me standing. He lifts his hand in greeting; he has the same look in his eye that I have, of a deep ache and loss, but his have healed quicker. It's a little hopeful, thinking that I may one day be a bit lighter, even when it is so hard to imagine now. My eyes meet his for a heartbeat and I smile–

I can't do this not yet

A sudden wave of sickness hits my stomach, and I fight not to retch all over the sidewalk. Tifa swims in my head, her vision of the road stretched before her, a red blur, tall spires glittering in sunlight– and I feel it from her, the fear, her racing heart, the smell of her sweat and burning oil from the truck–her foot as it slams the gas pedal. The world swims before me, and I feel myself losing my balance.

TIFA!

"Aeris!"

I'm wrenched back into my body, from the fall, from Tifa, I don't know. I stare up at the sky for a moment, my sight slightly blurred as I watch an airship leave tracks far above me. Tifa...

"Aeris!" Cloud is suddenly beside of me, kneeling over me. "What happened? Where is she?" His eyes are brighter than the sky.

How did he know? My confusion keeps me from answering, and I keep opening my mouth and closing it...of course he knows, or could tell...he's probably seen Tifa in my head before. I try to recall the details. Where was she?

I call out to her, but she can't hear me, or she won't hear me. My heart skips a beat. What if she's dead?

"Aeris," Cloud's commanding voice brings my attention back to him, and I push myself up onto my elbows, staring into his intense eyes, ignoring the small crowd gathering around us watching.

"The church," I breathe, the vision suddenly blossoming in my mind. "She's near the church."

Yes...

No...that doesn't feel right...she shouldn't...go there–be there. What's happening? What's going to happen?

I look to Cloud, for answers or something, but he doesn't have any. Cloud is already up, racing away from me, his back a distant figure already. Where do I go? What do I do? I have to get below the plate.

I push myself up, abandoning the basket of books on the ground where they lay, and hike my dress up. I run, cursing my heavy gardening boots, making each step feel painfully sluggish and slow. The train? Is that the fastest? I don't have a car...I don't even know...

In the distance I hear the roar of a loud engine...

Cloud, he's going for her, good...I have to let her know!

I try to reach out for her again, but it's like a wall...I keep trying to find a way around it, but there's nothing. It's like she's not even there, but I know she is, I can feel her hiding behind it.

I nearly trip over my skirt as my concentration shifts between running and trying to get to Tifa. Ahead I can see the train station, and I gasp trying to catch my breath. Riding this train is going to be the longest ride of my life–

Rufus chuckles, leaning against the desk behind him...so nonchalant. A war beneath his feet? Business for the poor. "What have I ever done to you that's so worse than what happened to the others? All SOLDIERs are destined to die and suffer."

Cloud is bruised...lying against a shattered pillar in the church beneath a plate. Unconscious at first...he wakes slowly, confused. He stands as if there is such a weight on his shoulders...and then...a sight, something in the flowers–

Zack. Midgar sits behind him, surrounded by desert-Zack stares straight at me, straight into me. There is so much pain, and it is his pain, his bullet riddled body.

"Aeris...Aeris...Aeris..." he whispers—

I open my mouth to scream, feel tears on my cheeks, taste blood in my mouth.

Zack. Zack! ZACK!

Blackness.

Then, Tifa opens her eyes, and I see...the truck...it's upside down. She's alive! Just back from unconsciousness, though, I can feel the grogginess in her limbs. It's weakened this wall, this defense she's put up, and I hear the name thought in her mind, the fear...

–Genesis–

Tifa! Tifa! Hang on! He's–

I come to laying on the sidewalk again, still reeling from the visions–Zack– and Genesis. She shut me out! This is getting really frustrating! I slap my hands on to the hard pavement, rolling onto my feet. Up ahead the train is squeaking to a stop in the station. I hike my dress up once again, barreling through a crowd of commuters. They yell at me as I swing myself through the doors. The train is crowded with children and parents, workers, the first batch of them for the next few hours. I try to take deep, steadying breaths, make myself breathe normally. A little girl is looking up at me with wide, frightened eyes, staring at the blood dripping from scrapes on my elbows and hands. Her mother eyeballs me before snagging her arm around the girl protectively.

I ignore them, squeezing to a place beside the door, and clinging to a metal, upright rail. I want to be close as possible to the door for when we get to our stop. The train jerks into motion, and I feel my stomach stay on the platform behind us as we begin to gather speed.

The city blurs through the window, and then the train blurs with it.

Cloud is above me, on his motorcycle. I see Genesis over his shoulder–

TIFA! Oh thank goodness–

The train comes back into sharp focus. I swear under my breath, once again gaining the stares of commuters.

I try to breathe again, pushing my frazzled hair back out of my face. I know I have to look a mess to these people. I've never been much of a physical person so from that short run to the train I'm sweating, and huffing pretty badly. I think my hair has fallen lose from my braid, too. I keep feeling strands of it brush against the back of my arms.

The train ride it tortuous, the stops the worse. I want to scream at the people, and shove them off the train. I want to go yell at the conductor to not stop.

Instead, to keep from absolutely losing my mind, I keep chanting her name in my head, trying to break through.

Tifa. Tifa. Tifa. Tifa.

I keep thinking it over and over, and once or twice it works. I get vague flashes of the church in the distance, of the church itself as she steps inside–

That vision I think I jump out of though, more than she pushed me out. I don't want to see– It's wrong, I know. I want to see what's happening. I want to know that she'll be okay, that Cloud is okay...but suddenly, for the first time I don't want to see the church. It's more of a gut feeling, like maybe the planet is telling me something...

But she is silent for the first time since Zack's death.

The train is rolling up on Tifa's stop– I can see it through the window. Just a couple more stops and I'll be at the church.

As the train starts to squeak slowing, I feel something cold plunge into my chest, a bucket of ice down my front–

The train stops, the doors opening, and I stumble out onto the platform slowly, clutching at my chest as if I can feel the blood. In one body I can. I brush up against a column on the platform, leaning on it for support. I keep grabbing at the dry, unstained fabric beneath me, trying to keep a grip on reality, but the pain is too much.

Aeris...Aeris, Aeris... I know...I know you can hear me. Aerith.

No...no no...Tifa. Tifa. Tifa–no no no... what have you done? Wait please, I'm coming.

The church floods into my eyes, but at an angle I have never seen before. The roof, cracked, and slightly caving in is above me. The bottoms of flowers dance at the edge of my vision. Then I look down, and I see it– the sword, glinting harshly in the sunlight.

No, Aerith. No. You have to go to Barret's...You have to get...Marlene...Barret...everyone...get...out.

Tifa! Hang on, please!

She shakes her head–the vision sways back and forth. No. You have to get out. Cloud will go home...the bar...

Tifa why?! Tifa just wait. Just hang on. I can keep you alive, I know I can. My body can keep you alive...

You can't afford to carry the soul of another in you...somebody is already counting on you... Aerith...listen to me. I have to show you this...I need you–

I wince with her as she coughs, blood tearing up her throat. I think of Zack...I think of the pain...I think of what he went through–what she's going through now–

Tifa...

She is lost in her thoughts for a moment, then she replies. So calm...for someone who is...

Remember this, please, here are my secrets. Here is my last vision. My last gift. I give it to you, my memory, your burden...I'm sorry.

I sigh so deeply, letting her take control again. I feel the visions wash over me like cool water, and I close my eyes to see more clearly.

There's something in his eyes, a desire there that I've seen before, but for some reason is more accented tonight.

His eyes blaze, icy fire, and then he kisses me.

It takes my breath away, and my mind explodes.

–Cloud is bruised...lying against a shattered pillar in the church beneath a plate. Unconscious at first...he wakes slowly, confused; I see him look around as if lost... He stands as if there is such a weight on his shoulders...and then...a sight, something in the flowers– a body.

It's me. It can't be me, but it is me...but it isn't me. It is my body, my earthly shell, but my soul, my spirit has already left it. It is not me anymore, and that is why I can see it in this vision...

He goes to the bar, to Barret and Aeris...he's leading them all out of the city, all those in danger of ShinRa's rath...he will kill him...he will kill ShinRa...he will destroy Midgar. Sephiroth–a factory, joining Cloud...Angeal beside of him. Rushing towards ShinRa tower, all those that I love– Reno, Cid, Rude, Vincent– all rushing at this great beast.

And then...Rufus.

Cloud stops...Rufus stops...both just staring at each other with the eery noise of battle rising through the floor.

"I'll kill you..." Cloud...so thick and hoarse, voice cracking on his oath.

Rufus chuckles, leaning against the desk behind him...so nonchalant. A war beneath his feet? Business for the poor. "What have I ever done to you that's so worse than what happened to the others? All SOLDIERs are destined to die and suffer."

"My best friend. My only happiness. You took those from me."

Rufus narrows his eyes. "I didn't take anything from you."

"Don't deny it! Not now...not after everything. Tifa is dead because of you, and no one else. I know you wanted her, and you couldn't stand anyone else having her but she wasn't yours to have. She was mine. I loved her and you had her killed!"

Cloud springs forward, bringing that massive blade up, Rufus shifting quicker than Cloud thought he was capable of. A raised hand. A gun. A single shot.

The bullet sinks into Cloud's chest, wedging between two ribs...the mako, the strength of your bones is greater. He should've died then, and Rufus thinks Cloud's done for. He lowers the gun.

Rufus should've known his employees better. Three steps, stumbling forward, lunge again. Rufus's face contorts, a blade through his gut. The pain coming off of Cloud is radiating, fighting for breath, blood running down his chest...just wants to die.

"How could you?! I always knew you were a selfish prick but that had nothing to do with–

Rufus laughs, blood flecking his pristine white suit.

"I didn't order it... though if I had known what was going on between the two of you, I would've."

Cloud growls, narrowing his eyes. "What are you talking about? Genesis said ShinRa–

"Genesis meant my wife... she hated Tifa. She saw danger there...Tifa was going to be the example she set for me. No more women on the side."

"An-an example? She was a human being! With a life! And dreams! And you took that from her! It wasn't her fault, it was yours! Even if Scarlet did order it you were the one that pursued it. You could've stopped it."

Rufus shrugs, indifferent to Cloud's protests...and the blade in his body. "Everyone has their faults... you and her included. Hojo asked Genesis to bring her back. He knew there was something off about her, something...of an otherworldly quality to her. And Tseng wanted her dead; he knew Genesis would complete the job. She knew about Zack. She could expose the company, drive it into ruin even farther. He had to protect his family. And even if Genesis had listened to Hojo, and brought her back alive Hojo would've just experimented on her and tortured her until she died or killed herself... they all knew Genesis would kill her. And Tifa herself...well, there would always be another Tifa for me."

And he squeezes the trigger, straight to Cloud's heart...the ribs don't stop it this time–

I come up from the vision, still against the pillar, gasping hard. I am bawling, tears tracing hot tracks down my cheeks.

Tifa... Tifa no...why didn't you...?

Take care of him for me... she sighs.

I feel her slipping away. I try to reach out, grab at her, her soul, her life, but she slips away easily like a breath, avoiding my reach.

Let her go... another voice whispers– a thousand million voices, really. I ignore it, though, reaching out again. It had to be done... the voices breathe.

I feel her floating with no care at all. So much peace for her at this moment as I am desperate to reclaim her. I reach with my soul, one last time, finding her drifting away to a place I cannot follow.

I hear her voice, only once more, a tiny, little whisper...

...Cloud...

I come to my senses with my arms stretched out before me, reaching for someone who is no longer there.

A/N: Guess who's back? :)