A tiny little one-shot, folks. Just because I feel like it, okay? Ron bashing. I mean, Ron is decent, but he's gotta get bashed every now and then, right?
I am obviously not J.K. Rowling, so I don't own anything but the plot. I swear!
'Oh, God, please say yes.' My mind was shouting at the wild haired brunette in front of me. This was it. I was proposing. I was proposing to the love of my life.
I remembered that time quite a while ago, where Weasel-Bee broke it off just because he thought Hermione was boring. He sure regretted that now! I remembered that day.
-flashback-
I was walking through Weasely's Wizarding Wheezes, and as I passed the back, I could hear two people talking. Being me, I eavesdropped.
"I can't wait until the wedding!" Hermione gushed.
"I can," Ron mumbled just quietly enough that Hermione couldn't hear.
"What, Ronnie-kins?" Hermione asked in a little cooing tone.
"How do I put this nicely...We can't get married anymore. "
She froze. Obviously, she wasn't expecting that. No, I really doubt she was.
"Why?"
"I'll show you." He picked up his cell, dialed a number, and put it on speaker. Of course, being little old me, I made myself invisible and walked into the room.
Hermione's face looked as if she'd bleached it and put an entire load of white powder on it. Ron looked like a smug kid that had just proved the teacher wrong.
"Hello?" Came a crackly voice on the end of the line. I froze. I knew that voice. That was MY fiancée's voice!
"Linda, Linda! Hi, hey, how are ya?"
"Ron? I'm doing pretty good! Loving this life, loving me, loving you. Pretending to love that little idiot that I'll be seeing down at the alter. Crushing him. You?"
"Currently crushing that little ditz of mine. Could have been better. Want to say anything?"
"Hands off, bitch. He's mine." She hissed at the poor defenseless girl. Ron purred, and she giggled happily with her boyfriend. MY EX FIANCEE! HERMIONE'S EX FIANCEE!
Well, this could have gone better. Two weddings canceled in one day.
"I'm going to tell Draco." Hermione said, trying to put on a brave face. Apparently she recognized the voice too.
"Ooohh, we're sooooo scared." Linda exclaimed, exaggerating the tone in her voice. "And who will he believe, his enemy, or his...well, me?" She hissed the words so sharply that I felt sorry for Hermione. For the first time in my life, I didn't wish pain to be inflicted on her. She was standing up for me, and I appreciated that. I appreciated it a whole lot. But apparently Ron didn't.
"Oh yeah, I've forgotten to tell you," He said, speaking to Linda, "She has a crush on your little git of a fiancée."
Hermione had turned ashen. Ron was positively beaming.
"Goodbye, Ronald. I hope I never see you again. I hope you like hell, because that's where you're headed." She turned and ran.
"Baby." Ron snickered. "Whore." Linda sneered.
I ran after her. Undoing the invisibility spell, I approached the alley she'd decided to hide in.
"Granger?" I called. She looked up, surprised, before starting, "Listen, Malfoy, Linda is-" I cut her off.
"I know."
She looked surprised. "You do? But why get married to her if you knew?"
"Because I just found out." I explained to her what I'd just overheard.
Her eyes drooped, and became shiny. She curled up into a ball and sobbed.
I leant down and hugged her tight.
"Shhhh, it's okay." Calming words and soothing circles helped. Yesterday, if I heard that I'd be trying to relax a crying Granger, I'd have called that person crazy. But after that, I had grown a respect for her. She'd finally stopped crying. I decided to do something that would probably be considered crazy. I kissed her. She seemed to think it was crazy, too, but she needed someone to help her relieve the pain, and that person was me.
It was cool and tiny, but it was getting bigger by the second. I had her underneath me, and I was straddling her hips. She had one hand entwined in my hair, another running up and down my spine. It finally centered on the small of my back.
We kept at this for who knows how long, just enjoying what each other had to offer, taking the feelings that needed to be released. Finally, I sat up and asked, just plain out of the blue, "Want to go on a date?"
-Draco's Wedding-
"Do you, Draco Malfoy, take this woman to be your lawfully wedded wife, in sickness and in health, in…"
Blah blah, skip to it already! Yes, I was at my wedding, but no, I wasn't getting married. Linda was going to try to break my heart, so I might as well have a little fun with this...
The priest stopped talking. That was my cue. "I...don't." Gasps rang from the church. Linda seemed enraged.
"If anyone is wondering why I decline this offer to get married, I think you should have the right to know the truth. The other day, I had a run-in with a certain girl, who was also supposed to get married today." Fear was creeping into Linda's eyes. "But she didn't, and you know why? BECAUSE THAT WOMAN RIGHT THERE CAUSED HER HUSBAND TO CHEAT ON HER, AND I'M NOT GONNA GET MARRIED TO THAT HEART-BREAKING BITCH!"
I'd finished my little speech. I was done. Walking past the crowd, I jumped into my car. Linda came rushing after me, shouting things like, "Do you believe me, or the whore?", and "Why would you think I would do that to you, Drakie?" I just kept driving, making sure to splash mud on that pristine white dress. I had a date to make. With my girlfriend. None other than the world renowned Hermione Granger.
-A Year Later-
I got up on stage. My good friend Blaise was a rockstar, so I could do these special little things here and there. Anyway, I'd invited Hermione to this concert, and I was nervous as hell right now. If you were in my position, wouldn't you be too?
"Alright, this is me mate Draco here, and he's got something important to say to his little gal-pal of a girlfriend." Yep, you've guessed correctly-my friend was drunk. But, oh well. It doesn't matter. I looked straight into Hermione's eyes, and began my little speech.
"Hermione, it was around this day last year that we were supposed to be married. Neither wedding worked out. We felt the pain together, and we stand, united, today. United, we stood, and united we still stand to this day. Hermione Jean Granger, will you marry me?"
She had tears in her eyes. I pulled her on-stage. She nodded vigorously, smiling through the tears. I pulled her into a kiss. This would be the start of a Weasel-free life.
-Linda's Horrible Wedding-
"Ronald Weasley, do you take this woman to be your lawfully wedded wife, in sickness and in health, in…"
Blah blah, skip to it! Out with it already! Linda was staring at me, adoringly. She really thought that she was going to get married. HA!
Well, here I go. "Linda, I cannot take you to be my wife. I have fallen in love with another charming lady."
He ran to his car, and awaiting girlfriend. God, this life as a bachelor was splendid!
