Theme song for this story is: Waking Dream by: Natalie Walker.
What I cant stand about Dean is that he never knows when to stop his tough guy act until its to late and something has gone terribly wrong, we were on a hunt when Dean suddenly collapsed and the hoard of vampires we were chasing got away.
"Dean! Dean! Wake up!" I said urgently as I shaked him awake. I had carried him back to the Impala and then took him back to the motel where we were staying, Where I undressed him and left him in just a T-shirt and boxers. While I undressed him i noticed that he had poked two extra holes in his belt due to his loss in weight which i had never noticed until now.
I was pissed yes, but I kept my cool as I saw Dean's green eyes flutter open, and he groaned. "God Dean your such an idiot!" was the first thing I told him
Dean why dont you take better care of yourself? Can't you see I need you?
Dean coughed his throat as dry as sand paper, and I brought a cup of water to Dean's lips, "drink." He did so, not having the energy to argue. "Dean you need to eat something you are starving yourself to death. "I'm not hungry." dean muttered as his body quaked at the cold. Sam put a blanket over his brother. "You need to eat."
I cant stand seeing you like this.
I took out a protein bar from my bag and put it to Deans mouth "eat it, I wont eat until you do." and that got to him for sure. Dean opened his mouth and slowly began to eat the food. "Your an ass" Dean mumbled through his mouth full of food.
I cant take it any more just let me be.
I closed my eyes "Dean why havn't you been eating?" I asked him. "I just havn't been hungry."
Iiar.
"But why Dean? You know that your starving yourself, I saw the extra holes in your belt." I said getting frustrated. Dean's eyes flickered lightly with sparks of panic, "You've been going through my stuff?" He asked
Its my burden to bear.
"I havnt you were burning up so i took off all those layers of clothes you insist on wearing, OBVIOUSLY trying to hide how thin your getting! Dean I'm not blind I can actually see your ribs poking through your skin, dammit!" I said, angry now. Dean fliched at the harshness in my voice.
I'm Sorry.
I looked down ashamed of myself, my brother was obviously in pain. I took out a few vitamin bottles and shook out two from each and gave them to Dean "here take these." Dean did so and turned away from me trying to hide his emotions. "Dean enough with the tough guy act."
Let me in.
I sat Dean up and sat next to him pulling him up into my chest, "Please tell me whats going on." I asked him and thats when I noticed the wet splotches that began to appear on my shirt. "I'm tired Sammy."
I cant do this any more.
"Dean. Please. Tell me whats wrong. Why are you tired?" I asked him letting my available hand run through Dean's hair calming him. "I dont know what to do any more Sammy, I'm trying so hard to keep everything together but everything is falling appart all at the same time." Dean coughed trying to hide the fact that he was struggling to hold back his sobs, "and I keep trying to gather it all back up and put it back together again but it just keeps falling back down, Sammy... I can't do it any more."
I will protect you.
"Dean... You dont have to do that anymore I am here for a reason. I'm here for you." I said stroking his back and pulling him in tighter against my chest and Dean closed his eyes and while he slept he dreamed, and while he dreamed I was there with him the whole time. There to hold his hand, there to comfort him,to be his brother and when he woke I was there with him.
Dean, why dont you take better care of yourself? Can't you see I need you?
I cant stand seeing you like this.
I cant take it any more just let me be.
Liar.
Its my burden to bear.
I'm Sorry.
Let me in.
I cant do this any more.
I will protect you.
Protect me.
I'm here.
Stay with me.
I will be here, always.
Always.
