* I do not own Degrassi, or anything. Just my story. (:

A/N: So this is my first story ever! If you didn't read the summary already, it's an Eclare fanfic about Eli breaking up with Clare right after he graduated. Hope you like it :') by the way, it's Clare's POV!

"Wanting him is hard to forget, loving him is hard to regret, losing him is hard to accept, but even with all the hurt I've felt, letting go is the most painful yet."

4 Years.

It's been four years.

Since I saw those green eyes, that mind-blowing smirk.

Since I heard that chuckle, that voice, that always made my heart beat slow and fast at the same time.

Since I felt those lips, oh my. The only lip's that can make my breath drop as soon as they touch my sensitive skin.

I miss the tingles, I miss how he use to wrap his arms around me. I miss his smart attitude.

I miss being called Blue eyes. I miss being called my last name, with a smirk added.

I miss Eli Goldsworthy.

It's my third year in college, English major of course. Last time I heard from him was that dreadful June day. He was putting on an act the whole time, that fake smile. I could see it from miles away, but I didn't know the story behind it.

"Clare. I'm sorry, but I-i can't do this."

"What do you mean Eli? I know college is going to be hard but we'll-"

He cut her off.- "No. Not that."

Clare was worried. She clenched the surprise gift she held behind her back for Eli's graduation."Then you can't do what?"

"Us. I can't- do long distance relationships." He looked her straight in the eye. "This was always the plan, we'd go our separate ways after I graduated." He looked away, the lies were bleeding out of him. He couldn't show it though, for Blue Eye's sake.

Clare could feel the tear started to bottle up. "So I was just a high school thing for you? Good times until the real party started at college, hm? Thanks Elijah. Real mature." She threw the gift hard on the floor in front of where Eli stood. She walked away, not looking back.

Eli bent down slowly picking up the small box, he opened it to find the small ring that he had known Clare for their whole lives of knowing each other, there was an addition to it though, he read the engravement, "Forever, my love." He clenched in the ring in his fist, slowing turning away to Morty.

Clare opened her eyes slowly to the beeping alarm on her side table. She hit it gently and sat up, October 16th. Her birthday. But for obvious reason's Eli was on her mind as soon as she realized the date. She couldn't help it if she thought of him everyday, good and bad. Thoughts of their memories, the first day they met, English class, there first real kiss, his surprise birthday party for her, all the time they spent together, prom, their first time. But there is always the bad memories, and lately they have been taking over. It's been four years! Of course Eli has found someone better, older, more his type. Her heart ached everyday from those thoughts. But she still had to live her life, as best as she could.

Her phone beeped.

Adam: Good morning, Happy Birthday Clare! Come to the dot, I have a surprise for you!

Clare smiled lightly, Adam was her best friend, been there through thick and thin. The rough nights of tears, and just everything these past 4 years. She would truly of gone insane without him, with Alli's leaving Degrassi years ago, they grew distance and video chatting just wasn't enough. After graduation at her all girl's school, Alli went over to bigger and better things; in India.

Clare got up slowly and walked into the bathroom, she looked the same. Big blue eyes, short curly hair, a bit longer, but she always remembered how Eli loved it short. She cut it usually but lately she doesn't have time for anything. She turned on the shower and got in slowly, 20 minutes later she was dressed, hair blow-dried and the usual look. Light make-up and her favorite jean's and a light pink ruffle top with a gray sweater. She walked downstairs.

"Mom I'm going to the Dot to meet Adam!" she yelled while putting on her coat.

Her mom walked into the living room, "Happy Birthday Clare!" she smiled and hugged her tightly. Her mom was sixty percent back to herself, after the divorce she was a bit too much in her work but her and Clare couldn't be happier. Mr. Edwards and Eli's leavings were actually good things in one way, Clare got to reconnect with her mom again.

"Thanks mom, I'll be back soon." She kissed her mothers cheek and walked out the door.

- At The Dot -

Clare walked in slowly and turned her head to the right and saw Adam sitting there in the corner, usual spot, smiling wide. "Clare!" he shouted and motioned for her to come over.

Clare walked over smiling. "Hey Adam, so where's this surprised?"

"Not just where, but also when." He smiled pulling out two ticket's to another Dead Hand's reunion concert.

"Oh, wow. Dead Hand." Clare liked Dead Hand, but that was Eli's favorite band, it brought back way too many memories. "I don't know.."

"Come on Clare! Please! It's tonight, at 7. You know you love them!" Adam was just like the kid he was, 4 years ago. Instead he was dating Fiona Coyne, and it was getting pretty intense.

Clare sighed, she didn't wanna turn down her best friend's birthday surprise. "Fine, I'll go." She faked a smile once again and took one ticket. "7-sharp."

"Wouldn't miss it for the world, Fiona's coming too!" Adam smiled like a goof when he said her name.

"Great, I can't wait." Clare smiled wide and help but wonder what tonight's gonna be like.

"Happy Birthday to you, Happy birthday to you, Happy birthday to-Clare-from-Adam, Happy birthday to you!" Two workers from the Dot came out and placed a stack of pancakes on the table with a candle on top, I smiled wide at Adam and blew out my candle making a wish.

Clare wished: "I wish I could see that mind-blowing smirk, once again."

A/N: Sorry! I know this sucked & it's short, but it's the first one! I really don't think I'll get like any review's since I'm just getting this out, but if you are reading this. Thank you!

More to come. Hope you liked it :D

- Gianna (: