"Noo. Not again, you promised Methos." Duncan MacLeod cried out in horror.
"But you have been such a bad boy. I have to tell you again."
Duncan lowed his head in shame and defeat.
Methos spoke in a serious voice, "In the beginning of the world, God created man. God realized that man was most likely going to be pretty stupid, so he made two safe guards. One was a large lever in the middle of a desert with a sign that said, 'Do not pull', in every language that would ever be. This lever would enable God to blow the Earth up if man got too stupid. His other safeguard was a talking snake named Nate. Nate knew every language that was and would ever be. Fortunately, Nate had little to do for many millennia. He had the occasional stray traveler that would stumble by. They were always easily scared off by a talking snake. Then the twentieth century rolled around and roads became common. One day, a road surveyor was surveying a desert and saw the lever. He read the sign and decided that it would not be a good idea to pull the lever. Then Nate the Snake spoke. The man realized how much money he could make if he took Nate the Snake home with him. It wasn't every day that a talking snake showed up. He convinced Nate to come home with him to Seacouver, Washington. Once there, Nate was a huge hit on the local comedy circuit. Then a talent agent saw him and immediately offered Nate a huge contract to work in California. Nate got his own talk show along with commercials, albums, hit singles and products emblazoned with his name. Once day about four years after he had left the lever in the desert, he got a sudden need to go back to the lever. Using the money that he had earned through entertaining and his product line, he chartered a plane back to the desert. Nate the Snake got there just in time to see a truck driver barreling down the desert right towards the lever.
The truck driver was in shock, there was Nate the Snake shouting at him to swerve away from the lever. The truck driver glanced around his cab which was strewn with Nate the Snake albums, pop, cereal and comic books. He then looked up at the sign by the lever and tried to read it, "Don't pull the lever, the world will explode." He read off slowly. Don't wanna do that, he decided and swerved away towards Nate the Snake. Can't hit Nate the Snake! Swerved towards the lever. Towards Nate. Towards lever. Over and over again until time made up his decision. Smack, he hit Nate the Snake. The moral of this story? It's better Nate than Lever." Methos stopped, pleased with himself.
Duncan MacLeod was a writhing heap on the floor. "I'm, so s-s-sorry Methos. It won't happen again."
"It had better not! Just remember everytime you forget to buy beer for your place, you have to hear the Nate the Snake joke"
Duncan looked up at Methos, knowing that he would never forget to buy beer for the Old Man again. If he had to hear that joke one more time, he would would go crazy and run down the street yelling about how the blue bananas with pink polka dots were chasing him.
END!
Blame my friend Jamie for telling me this joke. He can make it last for a half hour...
