DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN ONCE UPON a TIME OR ANY RECOGNIZEABLE CHARACTERS

Regina Mills was thinking about Emma Swan again.

Emma was a sheltered woman with a troubled past and piercing ocean eyes that haunted her dreams. She was also her ex-wife.

Regina strode over to the immaculately clean glass of the window as she stared solemnly out across the large backyard that was littered with her children's toys. Slender fingers gripped at the wooden frame as she hoisted herself up to settle against the hard plank and the chilled glass that pebbled her tanned skin with goose bumps. She had always loved Boston with its bustling city lights and warm family feel that had entranced her to settle down in her own childhood home. But now without the loud presence of the blonde, racing their children around the house and causing ungodly messes for her to clean up the suffocating feel of the hustle and bustle only encouraged her tendency to feel lonely. Curling her knees to her chest Regina wrapped her arms tight around the limbs as she nuzzled her nose in between her knees. Salty tears splashed down her cheeks as they soaked into the black fabric of her thin skin hugging leggings, making them cling even tighter to her toned thighs.

She should be over Emma, after all it had been just over six months since they had entered the courthouse to finalize the divorce and sign the papers which would permanently break apart their crumbling marriage. Regina's mind flitted back to that day as she drew her knees even tighter towards her heaving chest, tears spilling from hazel orbs that were bloodshot and glassy from lack of sleep.

It had been a chilly October morning, nearing the winter months when frost laced the trees in the morning and the temperature dropped below zero at night. Regina had bundled herself and the three children up in scarves and mittens as she loaded the 2, 3, and 5 year old into her silvery grey SUV. The drive had been uncomfortable, a heavy silence having cloaked the occupants in the car with an unspoken sadness. Many times Jamie had pointed out the places they had once visited as a family, the pizzeria where Emma had scarfed down an entire pizza by herself, the mini golf outing where Jamie had smacked the ball so hard it flew half way across the fake greenery and smacked un unsuspecting park attendant in the back of the head. And lastly the chapel where four years ago they had looked into each other's eyes and promised a forever that never lasted. Regina simply nodded as silent tears traced the outline of her nose. The boy was far too young to understand the severity of this situation, nor the emotional baggage that Regina lugged around with her due to the cracks that had spread through their relationship. They pulled up to the courthouse all too soon as watery chocolate eyes turned back to see the faces of her three little angels who's expressions saddened as they saw their mother holding back impending sobs which were held back only by her sheer will to stay strong.

"Mommy?" Wobbled Ashley's voice as her bottom lip trembled and large alligator tears gathered in her whiskey orbs.

"Why you crying?" Finished her golden haired boy who fumbled with the strap that was currently trapping him in his seat and preventing him from reaching the brunette haired woman whose tears had spilled over the surface and were gushing relentlessly down her flushed cheeks as her hands shook with a nervousness she didn't know how to stifle.

"I-I your mama and I have decided it was best if we didn't see each other anymore… You three will get to see her on weekends and every second week you'll get to go and stay at her brand new apartment." Regina watched as her the toddlers began to understand the weight of the words that had rolled off of her tongue in a stuttered whisper.

"Mama's l-l-leaving?" Ashley wailed as she beat her small fists against the sides of her car seat, causing a chain affect and resulting in three snotty faced children with red rimmed eyes and broken hearts. It took Regina almost twenty minutes to coax an uncompliant Jamie from the vehicle as he kicked his feet and yelled that the only way he would leave was if Emma came and got him herself. Sympathising with the child she somehow managed to lure him from the leather interior of her car and into the warm embrace of her arms. Clutching his hand on one side and Ashley's on the other she held a sniffling Emily tightly to her hip as the two year old hiccupped away her fading sobs.

Thirty minutes later she sat in a small room of the East Wing that smelled like cleaning polish and fresh paint. Emma sat across from her, straight faced and distant as she played with the swan pendant that hung above her black turtleneck. Regina's eyes flitted around the room hoping to find something else to focus on before she started crying again, it was much harder then she had first planned. Emma's jade eyes, clouded with deep pain met Regina's glassy orbs as both women stared at each other, remembering and accepting that this- this was the end.

Snapping back to the present Regina squinted out the window and saw something far off in the distance, or rather someone. It was Emma's yellow bug.

Regina gulped. It wasn't her week why was the blonde here on this lonely December Wednesday? The loneliest Wednesday of them all for that matter, it was their anniversary. Or would've been… Shaking her head she tried to ignore the churning in her stomach or the pain that seized her heart as she stared at her reflection in the ornate mirror that hung above her writing desk, tucked into a lonely corner of the spacious bedroom.

She looked older, more lines of stress creased her face, and a permanent sadness shaded her once radiant eyes. She was a distant, unhappy, single woman with a broken heart that refused to heal. Her friends saw her as an inspiration, a hero for pushing forwards and starting her own modeling agency, whilst juggling the responsibilities of a single mother. But she was nothing but a limp puppet, paraded around by her strings, painted face hiding the emptiness inside of her chest.

Gravel crunched outside as Emma's rust bucket of a car pulled up the long drive to the Mill's private estate. Opening the front door Regina stared at the blonde woman in front of her, half wishing she was a ghost, half wishing she wasn't there at all.

"Hey."

"Emma…"

"I know this is unexpected, but I was wondering if we could talk."

"I oh of course, why don't you come in?"

"Thanks." Said the blonde thinly as she stepped past the open door and politely removed her boots before venturing further into the house.

"How have you been?" Asked Regina in a polite tone as she fixed Emma's shoes and followed the blonde into the kitchen where she now sat at the breakfast bar, rifling through Regina's mail.

"Busy. Works picked up and I've been covering night shifts for some of the nurses who have come down with the flu. That's not why I'm here though." Regina halted in her process of filling the kettle for tea and slowly turned to face the other woman.

"Why are you here?' Regina asked nervously as her breath caught in her throat and she swore the intoxicating scent of Emma's perfume was going to smother her. As Regina stepped away from the counter and Emma stepped closer she could see the shimmering tears caught in thick blonde lashes.

"Emma." She repeated as the other woman had taken a long pause with her head bowed to discreetly wipe at her tears.

"I love you." She said in a hushed tone as her hands balled into fists at her sides. "And I want an explanation." Regina's expression faltered as her heart did a feeble flip in her stomach and her skin begin to prickle. Gazing into the eyes of the woman across from her she searched for the sincerity she feared she would find, and alas there it was.

"Emma I- we agreed that a separation was beneficial for our children and for ourselves. The fighting was toxic and you and I both know that it was for the best. Whatever you might believe Emma, just because I let you go doesn't mean I wanted to." She replied in a wary tone as if she feared she would be struck by the blonde who was now invading Regina's personal space at an arguably intimate level.

"Don't lie to me. You could've held on, you promised we could make things work!" Yelled the blonde as more tears spilled own her cheeks and oh how Regina hated herself for wanting to end the noise with her lips against the blondes quivering pink flesh. Instead they stood and stared like two lost souls clinging to the last stationary thing in a world that twisted and turned so much you lost sense of anything other than each other.

"Emma."

"Shut. Up." Husked the younger woman in a quivering tone as she stepped forwards to close the distance between her and the brunette. Pink lips desperately caressed their partners as Emma's hands snaked up Regina's back and yanked the woman closer to herself. Breaking apart only for breath both woman leaned in closer to press their foreheads closely together and they bumped their noses as an old habit of times long forgotten. It was wrong, oh so wrong that they clung together like no time had passed and both women realized that. Yet it did not drive them apart as slender fingers laced through blonde princess curls and a cold nose was pressed to the tanned column of Regina's neck. It had been too long, far too long without the warmth of Emma's embrace, and maybe she had signed those papers but she was still as in love with the blonde as when she had met her.

"I have to go." Emma muttered begrudgingly as she tried to step away from Regina's embrace but instead of letting go she simply clutched her tighter.

"Stay." She whispered as their lips met in another kiss that tasted of hazelnut coffee cream and salty tears.