Disclaimer: I don't own Hannah Montana
A/N: My attempt at a dark Miley and Oliver story. I hate sad things and try not to write or think about them but I decided to give it a try. I have lost an Aunt from a car accident and I know how long it takes to get over it. And I know that when you think of the person you still cry. But I also know it gets better. So I wanted to write about that. Okay here we go:
Tears Never Change Anything
Why did he take another step.
That one step changed everything.
In a matter of seconds lives altered forever.
But one didn't make it.
I wish I was that one.
But I wasn't.
I lost the one.
The one I loved.
I remember that day perfectly, because it replays every time I see something that reminds me of him.
It was our sophomore year of High School. Me, Oliver, and Lilly were 15. It was a Saturday morning and we were walking to the High School carwash to help out. But then we passed the Ice Cream Parlor.
"I'm hungry." Oliver whined.
"We'll eat when we get there." said Lilly.
"But..." Oliver made his sad face.
I was a pushover for that sad face. I loved it. Almost as much as I loved him.
"Come on Lilly let's just get some Ice Cream." I said.
Lilly sighed and we walked in. We waited on line while Oliver kept us entertained. He could get a smile out of anybody. Because he was just so perfect. No, because nobody's perfect. He was just so perfectly unperfect. We got our ice cream and left the parlor. We stood in front while Lilly dug in the bag for her sundae.
"Man they forgot the MnMs, I'll be right back." said Lilly going back inside.
I rolled my eyes.
"Lilly is like obsessed with those things." said Oliver.
"I know." I groaned.
It was hot. I was sweating. But Oliver tried to keep me happy. He started imitating Lilly obsessing over MnMs. He was in the street near the park cars. And that's when everything went in slow motion.
He took the first step back.
I was still cracking up.
He took the second step back.
We both were laughing now.
But then he took the third step.
Everything sped up. A sound of screeching brakes rang in my ears. I opened my mouth to yell something like 'WATCH OUT!' or 'OLIVER GET OUT OF THE WAY!' But it was too late. The car slammed into him and he landed in a sickening thud of the ground. I felt numb. But my body took control as I fell to my knees next to his limp and motionless body. Tears were pouring out of my eyes. I wanted so bad for this to be another joke. I wanted Oliver to jump up and say 'Just kidding!' more than anything. But he didn't. Lilly came running outside. She screamed. She ran to me crying and hugging me screaming 'Oliver wake up!' but he wouldn't. The guy driving the car had run out and now was at Oliver's body too. He was in hysterics. He kept on saying he was sorry and that he had called the ambulance. I wanted to slap him. If I wasn't so numb I would've. The paramedics came. They told us to back away. Lilly asked if he was going to be okay...but they looked grave. Oliver was taken to the hospital. It was a week. One bleak and miserable week. Oliver remained in the hospital holding onto dear life, just barely making it. I refused to see him. I could not see funny, happy go lucky Oliver hooked up to a bunch of machines dying. I couldn't. I would melt down. I spent all of my time locked in my room. One night though my Dad and brother came in my room, they were back from seeing Oliver.
"Hiya darling." said Dad softly.
"How is he." I said bitterly.
Dad and Jackson's eyes shifted back and forth nervously. I felt my body stricken and I felt overrun with pain. I knew what happened.
"He died didn't he." I said my voice cracking.
But it didn't sound like my voice. I didn't know that voice. That voice belonged to a bitter, miserable, and depressed young girl. I never had been that, till now.
Jackson finally spoke up.
"I'm sorry Miles."
I looked away. Trying so hard not to cry. I didn't want to cry.
"It's okay Miles." said Dad putting his arm around me.
I pushed it off.
"No it's not! Go away!" I yelled fiercely.
They started to walk away from me.
"Miley, Oliver left a..."
"I don't care! GO AWAY! LEAVE ME ALONE!" I shouted crying.
I broke down on the floor and helplessly whispered.
"Just leave me alone."
They left me alone. I cried all night. I cried and cried and cried. Even when I thought I could stop I didn't. I cried myself to sleep on my damp pillow and when I woke up I cried more. I couldn't stop. Every step I took, more tears fell. I finally stopped crying, not because the pain was gone. But because I had ran out of tears. I didn't want to go to the wake. I didn't want to go to the funeral. I didn't want to do anything that reminded me of his death. But I had too. I owed it to him. I went to the wake. I kneeled next to his body. I stared at him. Everything caused a memory. His face, the sad face. His chest, his only chest hair. His legs, the way he used to skateboard. I shivered and felt more tears coming on. I left the building and sat on the brick wall outside. I hate the smell of flowers. Because Funeral Parlors smell like flowers. And Oliver was in a funeral parlor. Because he was dead.
Those words sounded like a foreign language to me. I put them out of my vocabulary.
I hated the funeral. I hated how people talked about him. Because they talked about the good times. But the good times just made it worse. Lilly went up there. She was a wreck, just like me. But Oliver was like her brother. She was experiencing a different kind of pain. Oliver was the love of my life. And I never even got to tell him. Lilly was shaking.
"Hi everybody." she said weakly.
She began to talk about how she had known Oliver since she was four and how she could never love any donut more. She talked about the good times we had. She talked about when we raised money for the fund-raising, and how we tried all of these crazy gimmicks. She talked about when Oliver got a job at Rico's and thought he was a player. But that's not what hurt. What hurt was that she was talking about Oliver. I ran out crying. I leaned against the wall as tears spilled out of my eyes. I felt so empty.
Weeks passed. Months came and went. And soon it went into seasons and I still couldn't rid of the emptiness. I couldn't talk to Lilly anymore. I couldn't stand that she acted so sympathetic. I couldn't stand when she gave me sympathy. You know what I couldn't stand the most? When people told me that Oliver would want me to be happy. I hated every single person who said that. How would they know? How on earth would they know what Oliver wanted? The pain wouldn't go away. It was stubborn just like me. It took over my heart and my feelings and wouldn't leave me alone. I stopped crying every waking moment. But I still cried every night. I would hold a picture of Oliver close to my heart and then cry. I was tired of everyone's pity. I was tired of all the changes. I wanted Amber and Ashley to tease me again. But instead they were nice to me. I wanted Lilly to goof around again. But all she would do was comfort me. Most of all I wanted to be me again. But every time I tried, I failed. Finally I reached my breaking point when I felt totally and utterly defeated. I lied in my bed and just gave up. I didn't want to get up and face the real world. I just stayed put. But after a day of that Jackson came in looking nervous.
"Hey Miles." he said.
I didn't respond.
"Listen Miley, you need to know this now because everyone is worried about you...and I think you need it." he began.
I still didn't move or make any acknowledgment to his existence.
"Oliver wrote you a letter before he died. He wanted me to give it to you. But we were saving it till you were ready. But I think you need it now more then ever." said Jackson slowly.
He handed me a letter. I lifted my hand to get it. After I felt it in my hand, Jackson left.
I slowly opened it scared of what it would say. I saw Oliver's handwriting. It was his...yet shaken up. I squinted and began to read.
Dear Miley,
It's done here now for me. I know I'm not going to make it, but that's okay. Because I know that my life was complete. Because of you. Miley you impacted my life more then any other living being on the planet. Ever since I met you I loved you. But I was always scared if being rejected. But what better time to let you know then now? Miley I want you to know something. I know you'll be grieving about everything. Right this second I know why you won't see me, but I get it. But I want you to understand, don't drown yourself in the past. Because the past never changes. Don't think of could've beens and what-ifs. Because the truth is they never come true. Just move on Miles. I want you to be happy. I wish I told you everything before this happened but hey I'm a donut. If you don't love me back then that's okay too. Because life isn't perfect. My life is not over though, just changed. I'll see you in paradise.
Love,
Oliver
I folded the letter half in shock and half in happiness. Oliver loved me. It had been all I had ever wanted. He was right. Every thing he said was right. I had to move on and keep on going. I had to get out of the past. I had to be happy. Because it truly was what Oliver wanted. I would see him again in paradise. I slipped the letter underneath my pillow feelings closer to Oliver then in months. I rested my head on the pillow and softly whispered
"I love you too Oliver."
The End
