A Lady Never Tells

Dr. Joe Early uncovers another potential problem with Squad 51's rescue of Dixie in the pilot. Set between Seasons 1 and 2.

Joe Early sighed as he looked at the machine in front of him. He knew he would have to listen to the tape of Squad 45's earlier rescue again.

That meant removing the reel-to-reel tape, taking it to Kelly Brackett's office and threading it in. How he hated that process. More often than not, the tape got tangled in transport.

Rampart was supposed to get one of those new cassette systems – "soon," the administrator kept promising. Soon.

Might as well get it over with, Joe thought.

He removed the tape and fought mightily to keep it spooled properly. Now, how to get into Kel's office without the tape coming apart.

He got from the bay station to the office. He looked at the door and the nameplate that read "Dr. Kelly Brackett," and back at the spools of tape in his hand.

"Want some help, Joe?" he heard.

He dared to look away from the tapes and spotted Mike Morton walking over. "Thanks, Mike. Yes, I do."

Morton opened the door and Joe walked in, thanking the young intern again and trying to neatly – and gently – place his spools of tape on Kel's desk. Joe looked up, intending to close the office door, but saw that Morton had already done so. Good.

Joe was getting ready to spool the tape onto the machine on Kel's desk, but saw there was another tape there. He sighed. He'd have to listen before he could remove it; the tape might be important.

He pushed the button.

"Male victim approximately 45. Compound fractures, both legs. Acute pain."

It was Squad 51. As he had many times already, Joe Early admired the way Roy DeSoto and John Gage had blended into a unified team – even in sharing the biophone. Roy had handed off to Johnny.

"First female approximately 40. Fractured radius and ulna, right arm. Probable concussion. Acute pain. Vital signs, both stable, both need immediate IVs along with tall ones, 30 milligrams," Johnny recited.

"Third patient female, approximately 30." The biophone had been switched back to Roy. "Unconscious, probable concussion, deep shock. Vital signs, 60 over 40. Rate 30, respirations 8 to 10. Eyes unequal. Needs fast IV and 1 milligram atropine."

"Tell the nurse treatment confirmed," Brackett replied. The nurse. Joe realized the tape was back from before the bill was signed freeing the paramedics to do their jobs.

"I wish we could do that, Doc," Roy replied. "Dixie's the third patient."

Joe turned off the tape. He realized now that it was "The Tape" - Squad 51's rescue of Nurse Dixie McCall and two other patients. Or rather, officially, Nurse Dixie McCall's rescuing of herself and two other patients because Roy and Johnny hadn't been officially certified to treat any of them.

Briefly, Joe wondered what "The Tape" was doing in the machine if it was, officially, an unofficial rescue. He'd ask Kel.

He moved to carefully take it off the machine so he could listen to Squad 45's rescue. But Joe frowned. Instead, he put the tape in reverse and listened again.

"Third patient female, approximately 30," he heard Roy say again. Now Joe smiled and turned off the tape.

Joe Early couldn't exactly be called the Chet Kelly of Rampart, but he liked to pull a practical joke on his friends now and then. He picked up the phone.

"Could you page Dr. Brackett and Nurse McCall to Dr. Brackett's office, please?" he asked.

His lips twisted into a wry smile as he waited for them to arrive. It didn't take long.

As Kel opened the door and ushered Dixie in, they both looked toward the desk. Joe put on a poker face.

"Joe….What's going on?"

Joe waved them in. "Listen," he said. He rewound the tape and began to replay it.

Dixie listened intently. She hadn't yet heard "the tape."

Kel, on the other hand, got angry. He walked over and turned the machine off.

"Joe, I'm still worried about legal issues," he said. "What are you listening to this for?"

"I found something that might get you and the boys in some trouble," replied Joe, putting on a poker face.

Kel's face tightened. "What do you mean?"

Joe started the tape again. "Third patient female, approximately 30," they all heard from Roy. Then, Joe stopped the tape.

Kel crossed his arms. "What about it?" he snarled.

"Well," Joe looked from Kel to Dixie and back. "That patient Roy was talking about was Dixie."

"So?"

"Well, during the paramedic training, we stressed the need for accurate information," Joe said, trying semi-successfully to hold back a smile.

Dixie blew out a breath and saw the twinkle in Joe's eyes. Wise guy, she thought.

For the moment, she held her tongue. She wanted to see if Kel would be in on the joke.

So far, he wasn't. He looked anxiously at Dixie, then back at Joe. "What kind of information?" he asked.

"Well, Dixie served in Korea," Joe said.

"And…." Kel prompted.

Joe grinned. "She isn't 30," he said. "Unless she was a child nurse."

Dixie rolled her eyes as Kel sighed. "So what do we do?" he asked.

Dixie stared at Kel in disbelief. He still doesn't know Joe is playing a joke on him! I don't believe it!

She spoke up. "Doctors, there is a solution."

Both doctors looked surprised. Joe's eyebrow went up slightly. "There is?" he asked.

"Yes," Dixie continued. "After all, Paramedic DeSoto was just following procedure."

Joe frowned. "How?" he asked.

"Well, in training, we've always asked for approximations of a patient's age, if no one is available to give it or there's no identification," Dixie said.

"But Roy would have known in this case, Dix," Kel interrupted. "He knows you served in Korea."

"That's all he officially knows, Kel," Dixie said. "Anyway, it's possible to attribute any lack of detail to the situation. You'll both recall he and Johnny weren't supposed to be doing what they were doing."

Kel sighed. "Yeah, I recall," he said grumpily. "All too clearly. They saved your life, and I've both accepted that fact and tried to officially hide it."

"So, this could be attributed to the stress of the situation," Dixie said. She looked critically at Joe. "And one more thing."

"What else?" Kel asked.

Dixie crossed her arms. "You've been had, Kel."

Kel frowned. "What do you mean, I've been had?"

Dixie smiled. "By our best friend."

Kel looked from Dixie to Joe and back again.

"You see, Dr. Brackett, your good colleague Dr. Early decided he was going to have a little fun with the fact that Roy gave my age as 30," Dixie said.

Kel's expression began to turn from astonishment to anger as he looked at Joe. As the older doctor began to give an explanation, Dixie held up her hands for silence.

"Now, Dr. Brackett, don't get mad at Dr. Early. Perhaps it's because you both are bachelors, but you may not understand that Roy, being a married man, understands a rule that supersedes even the most stringent of medical requirements for paramedics," she said.

Now Kel crossed his arms. "And what would that rule be, Nurse McCall?" he asked.

Dixie smiled. "The rule about women and age: A lady never tells."