CAN'T WE ALL JUST GET ALONG
Can't We All Just Get Along (One-shot , Rating: T
Genres: Drama, Young Adult Warnings: Strong Language and Violence Era: Hogwarts Characters:Harry, Hermione, Dumbledore, Draco, Pansy, OC Pairings:Draco/Hermione
A/N: This is my first one-shot to be posted from a number of stories as I take my annual September break.
Feedback: This Bunny jumped up and bit me in the arse while I was writing something else and wouldn't let go until this was complete. Is always appreciated that you comment. Flames however, will be given to my two snakes to chew, play, tail-whip and maim as they see fit.
"Get out of my way you filthy mudblood whore!" Shout out Pansy Parkinson. I didn't even know what I did, but she must have thought I did something.
"What are you talking about Parkinson?" I asked her, still not fully understanding.
"Well, what is there to say? First of all, you got Pothead and Weasel Boy at your every command, but if that's not enough, you still had to tempt my Drakie!" she shouted, very enraged.
"I DID WHAT? Why in bloody hell would I want Malfoy? You two pieces of slime deserve each other!"
"You should watch what you say in the presence of a superior." A voice said. I saw the body of Draco Malfoy emerge from the shadows of the corridor. I tried to look at him but I couldn't look straight into my eyes.
"Oh, Drakie-Poo! Please tell me this slut didn't replace me in your heart." She said while pointing her skinny little finger at me. I looked between the two of them, wishing Pansy never grabbed me into this deserted hall.
"Pansy, you were never in my heart to be replaced." he said as if it were memorized. He's probably said it to the stupid pug bitch infinite times before hand. The whole time, he was looking at me, and when our eyes met, he made sure that I saw him lick his lips suggestively.
Pansy was just staring at the scene like the idiot that she really was. Her eyes sucked in the horror of what Malfoy just did, and I wish that I had something to show how low her mouth was capable of dropping.
"What's wrong with you Drakie? Why are you doing this to me? Please!" At this point, Pansy went down on all fours and had her arms wrapped around his legs. It was a pitiful sight, and she got what she deserved. I saw Malfoy smirk at what she did before kicking her off of him.
"You stupid bitch! I don't and never have like you! Now get you bloody arse away from me!" he spat. "Why'd I even come down this bloody hallway? Oh yeah, I remember now." He said looking in my direction. He made his way closer to me. I felt his hands snake around my waist and pulled me into a hungry, lustful kiss. When we broke apart, Malfoy just left the corridor leaving me with an even more horror struck Pansy.
"You bitch!" She screeched loud enough to compete with any owls'. "I'll fucking kill you!" And with that being, she lunged herself at me.
I don't know how long we fought. Time flies when you successfully put another girl in a headlock. She was screaming uncle in a matter of minutes, and crowds of people were watching us. I was too absorbed in my anger to clearly distinguish the faces.
"Had enough you fukin' pug? Why in bloody hell do I ask? A BITCH could endure their punishment!" When I said this, I noticed said this, I noticed every voice I heard in the back of my head stop. By then, I'd already broken Pansy's nose and probably left a dent in her head, but I didn't feel any remorse. I mean, why should I?
"Miss Granger, I would have to ask you to using Miss Parkinson as your punching bag." My head cracked when I quickly met the gaze of Professor Dumbledore. He didn't look so mad at me, and he certainly didn't look happy. I quickly stopped my death grip on Pansy, and she immediately fell with a thud. I saw the others watching our fight were still there. Among them were Harry, Ron, Ginny, Seamus, and Neville. I later saw Luna give me a two thumbs way up.
"What anger leads us to…" Dumbledore said under his breath but I managed to hear it. He went over to Pansy and looked at her face quickly. Then he pulled out his wand.
"Episkey" he said with his wand pointed at her nose. A short minute later, she felt her nose and I was angry. Her nose was fixed.
"Now, since there is no more serious harm, will you two please follow me?" Unwillingly, we trotted behind Dumbledore as the swarm of students let us pass. We walked the statues guarding his office.
"Jolly Rancher" he said as the gargoyles sprang up to let him pass with us behind. Pansy looked at Dumbledore weirdly.
"Jolly Rancher are one of my favorite new muggle candies." He explained as we stepped on the step and let the stairs rotate up to the door. "They are fascinating. Hard candy, soft chews, rock candy, what will they think of next?" he chuckled.
We made our way into the office and he told us to sit down. I sat almost immediately, however Pansy seemed more hesitant to do so.
"Are you mad at us Professor?" I asked and Pansy gulped.
"Well, I knew this would be unavoidable. I thought this would have happed ages ago. Don't worry Miss Parkinson," he said with his knowing smile. "I will not inform your parents."
I looked over at her and she seemed to let out a breath. She visibly relaxed at his words, but something wasn't right.
"We have to tell them, don't we Professor?" I said matter – of – factually. Even though I already knew what the answer was going to be, I wanted to see the pug bitch squirm. And that's exactly what she did. Her face looked like it was going to explode, and she kept fidgeting.
"That would be expected." He said to me.
"This is unfair! That mudblood is what started this! Only she should be punished!" Pansy yelled right in Dumbledore's face.
"Miss Parkinson. Please refrain from using that language or I shall call your parents myself." he said calmly. It made me happy that I did all that I did to see the look on her face after he said that. She sank so low in her seat that she was hardly visible anymore.
"This is the last day before the winter holidays. I hope I won't see you two again before this day ends. You are both going away from Hogwarts, correct?"
"Yes Professor." We both said but I added, "Are we allowed to go now?"
"You are almost free to go Miss Granger. But before you go, I want to give you each these." He outstretched his hand and revealed two pastry cookies. At once I knew that they were fortune cookies.
"Here, each of you take one. They are fortune cookies if you didn't know. It's the least you can do after I let you both off so easily." We both made a grab for the same one but I swatted her hand away. She made it seem like I killed her, but eventually took the other. I broke the cookie open in half to get the fortune while Pansy proved what a pug she was by stuffing in her mouth. I started laughing hysterically, and even Dumbledore joined in. Pansy looked at us funny until she spit up the parchment fortune.
"Why would it be a fortune cookie without the fortune?" I cackled.
She tried looking at me evilly, but it was a pitiful attempt at glairing daggers. We both unraveled our parchments and read our fortunes.
"The life of your enemy is the same as your friend. There are other ways of looking than observation." We said in unison.
"But what does it mean?" she had the audacity to ask. I was about to tell the bloody pug, but a purple smoke swirled and surrounded both Pansy and me. The last thing I saw was
Dumbledore standing over me, but then I blacked out.
"How long has she been sleeping?" a woman's voice sounded as the door to the room opened. A dark haired man with a pug like face looked at the woman.
"Oh, Ella, it's you. The healer says she was brought her five minutes after she passed out." He said to the woman.
"Who else was there when it happened?" Ella asked the man.
"Just Dumbledore and some mudblood." He said casually.
"Dedric (A/N: I like that name – it's like Edric with a D in the front.), I wish I was there when it happened. I mean, what if that mudblood hurt her?"
I was listening to the conversation with my eyes closed until those people call me a mudblood not once, but twice. My eyes opened and I was shocked at what I saw. An extremely attractive woman in her mid thirties was looking down at me. She had sleek charcoal black hair that was cut to her shoulders. Her eyes were angled, had high cheekbones, and her eyebrows were cut at a perfect slope. Next to her was a man around the same age with a butterbeer belly. His noise was pointed upwards and he made me think of the horrid Pansy.
What were Pansy's parents doing here with me? They just called me a mudblood, why did they want to rub it in my face?
But as I opened my eyes, the woman that had to be Pansy's mother squealed. "Dedric, look! Pansy has woken up!" Now I really had no idea what sick and twisted game she was playing. Did she call me Pansy? After the words crossed my mind, I thought back to what the fortune cookie said. Almost immediately, I grabbed the mirror from the bedside table and looked at my face. All I could do was scream…
After I saw my face was replaced with the horrid Pansy's, her parents took me 'home'. They didn't know that I was the muggle born that they were talking about. After one of their house elves showed me to her bedroom, I locked the door and for two days all I did was stay in the room and go downstairs for meals only. It was only at the dinner the second night that I realized that there was an evil worse than being Pansy Parkinson.
"I hope you have your outfit planned out for the Christmas Ball at Malfoy Manor tomorrow night." Ella Parkinson said at dinner the second I started eating.
"Do I have to go?" I practically whined. I wasn't so into seeing Malfoy again, even if it meant missing the most anticipated Ball of the season, possibly year.
"We're sorry honey." I shuddered inwardly at being addressed that way, by Ella Parkinson much less. "You must. We heard about your attack by that mudblood and how Draco didn't stop her, but you don't have to be near him if you don't want to." She said.
"Plus, you shouldn't let a Malfoy get you down. You've been waiting to go for a long time. Have fun without him." Dedric Parkinson told me.
"You're both right. I'll go to the ball. May I be excused, I have finished my dinner?" I asked and without them replying, a house elf came and took my plate. After it left, I hurried to go back into Pansy's room. When I closed the door and locked it, I noticed a snowy white owl on the window perch.
"Hedgwig! What are you doing here?" I asked even though I was pretty sure that I knew why. I opened the window and reached out to pet her, but she nipped my finger. So in the end, I just took the letter and watched the owl take flight and leave in a matter of seconds. When I opened the letter to see what Harry wrote, I was quite shocked.
Dear Hermione (or Pansy?),
I don't know what happened, but I don't like it. I know I'm writing to the real Hermione, because the girl that looks like you keeps calling me a filthy half-blood. So? What happened to you? Why is she you? It's really annoying here – telling us about Malfoy's ball and that you broke her nose. Way to go! You've outdone yourself from third year. But please tell me when you are going to look like yourself again. Ginny has to sleep with her and both of them are taking their anger out on me.
Harry
Even though I looked like Pansy, I still acted like myself. I had to think of how this happened. All I could remember, however, was blacking out in Dumbledore's office. I had no clue as to what happened. It took until nearly three in the next morning to finish explaining it in a letter to Harry and the others having to deal with Pansy at the Burrow that I had no idea what was going on. After sending the letter with the owl in her room, I collapsed on the bed thinking of the Christmas Ball, and how I'd have to see Draco.
It was four hours until I had to step foot in the Malfoy Manor. Since Pansy was of legal age now, I used my wand to change her appearance. Not even Malfoy would know what hit him!
All those hours later when I looked into the mirror, I concluded that Pansy actually looked good. Her normally black, stick straight hair was now layered and choppy with thin blood red streaks. I put on a blood red strapless empire gown that had black embroidery. It went well with the onyx dangling earrings with matching necklace. I make Pansy look too good to think that she's even Pansy. And with the final touch of midnight black contacts, not even her parents would think I was Pansy anymore.
I could not have been more right. I made Pansy look like her mother instead off her father. Who knew what little amount of makeup I had on could drastically change her looks.
"Wow! Honey! This is the best you've ever looked! You should keep it when you go back to school!" Ella said.
I agreed with Pansy's mother, inwardly laughing my ass off. I mean, who could have thought the slimy bitch could look this good?
When we reached the manor (not that long of a trip seeing that they live five minutes apart), I had to greet or 'gracious hosts'. Luckily, Malfoy wasn't among his parents. After Narcissa Malfoy's immediate shock that Pansy could even look like a girl, the ball went smoothly. I even danced with a handful of guys. The night was even considered perfect until Malfoy came up to me with a rose in his hands and gaped.
"Pansy, what happened to you? You actually look good." He said, pitifully attempting to flirt.
"Shut your fukin mouth. Dra-Draco. Leave me alone. I was having a nice time until you came into the picture."
"Acting a lot like Granger I see." He said, handing me the red rose.
"And what in bloody hell is that suppose to mean?" I spat back.
"I don't know what that girl did to you, but I like it. Care for this dance?" he outstretched his hand and I took it. We went to the dance floor and to my disbelief; I had a nice dance with him.
"You really are a nice dancer." I said as a slower song came on.
"Who would have guessed?" he said with a sarcastic drawl. "But you're not as bad as I thought you'd be."
"What the fuck is that suppose to mean? I can so dance well! You just got yaself some proof too." Was my retort.
"Merlin Pansy. You're acting like Granger a lot."
"Well, I hope so." He looked at me puzzled. "I mean, if you like the attitude on that piece of filth, it could do wonders on me."
"And it has." He said to me before giving me the sensation that his kiss gave me earlier in the week. Although he didn't know that it was the same girl. If I had known how much he liked my personality, I would have tried maybe a little flirting with him. As we continued to kiss without stare coming toward us, his hand that was at my waist had lowered itself to my arse. I didn't stop him. I mean, this was still Pansy's body, not mine. It was just me who felt how his hands caressed her backside.
Soon, however, the Parkinsons told me that we had to leave and Malfoy gave me a peck on the cheek. I still wasn't sure if they saw the 'fun' I had with the boy that did nothing to help their child. They never mentioned it. All they did was tell me to go to upstairs so I could sleep. There was only four more days until I could go back to Dumbledore and ask him to sort this out.
Meanwhile, I was too absorbed in ways of getting back to my real body to realize a boy outside my window staring at me. However, he got my attention when he tapped on my window. There stood none other than Harry Potter, on the balcony with his broom leaning against the door.
I opened the door to the balcony motioning for him to come in, but he declined. I was wondering what he was doing here, since he could get caught, but my questions were soon answered.
"Hermione. You have to come with me now. Her parents think you're asleep. Dumbledore came to the burrow and said he'll sort this out. We have to leave quickly. Even though you make Pansy look good," he said checking out the body "I want to look at you and actually see you. We need to leave."
I didn't need telling twice. Even though I'm afraid of flying on brooms, we made our way to the burrow pretty quickly. When we entered, I wasn't greeted with a hug, but a hair-curling scream by Pansy.
"What the fuck did you do to my hair?" she screeched.
"Bloody hell! You look better this way! Even Malfoy thought so. I'd suggest you keep it." I sneered in retort.
"YOU SAW MY DRAKIE!" she screamed louder than before, causing the Weaslys and Dumbledore to come into the room to see what was going on.
"Yeah. And I must say, he liked you a lot better when it was actually me."
And before I knew it, we were fighting like we were back at Hogwarts. The only difference being Professor Dumbledore pulled us apart before I could bash her head against the kitchen counter.
"That would be enough Miss Granger. You don't want to see yourself with a broken and bloody nose." And with those words, I stopped.
"I had thought that this would make you two change your behavior towards each other. I see that I was wrong." He admitted.
With confused faces, both Pansy and me asked the first thing on our minds. "You were the one that changed us?" All heads turned to the headmaster.
"Who else could have done it? But I guess you two will never learn." He shook his head in disappointment as he said the counter spell to change us back. "Now Pansy, I think that you should leave." And before the minute passed, she left with a crack. All of us in the room stared at Dumbledore.
"I must be going. See you students after the holidays finish. Happy Christmas to all. I'm sorry for the inconvenience."
As soon as he left, the whole house jumped on me with questions. I was too busy thinking to answer them, though. This winter break I learned something, despite what Dumbledore said. Fortune cookies really are sweet!
