Title: She Knew
Author: Aislinn Carter
Summary: Why was Mulder so cold about the baby? Missing scene from Three Words.
Category: M/S romance, angst. Rated T for a few naughty words.
DeadAlive, En Ami, Requiem...mm, think that's it.
Disclaimer: I have no money, I own nothing and no one, and Mulder, Scully, Skinner, Doggett, the LGM, all things X-Files belong to Chris Carter, 10-13, etc. etc.
Feedback: I love feedback. Please tell me what you think.
Archive: Anywhere, just let me know.
Scully closed the door firmly after the gunmen, then leaned her forehead against it. The cool wood did little to soothe the headache that had been thrumming there since she brought Mulder home. "What a mess," she murmured.
She had spent so long dreaming about Mulder coming back. Even after he had 'died', she still dreamed about him coming back. And now he was here. And nothing was the way it should be.
He wouldn't talk about the baby. She wanted to talk to him so badly about it, but aside from when he noticed in the hospital, and the comment he made when she brought him home, he had acted like the baby didn't really exist. Like it wasn't important to him.
But it is, she screamed silently to herself. She knew he had wanted this. When the in-vitro hadn't worked, he told her. "I wanted this, too." He said softly, as she leaned her head on his shoulder and tried to stop the flow of tears. "I wasn't sure at first, but I think I wanted it as much as you did."
"It's not the end for you, Mulder. You can still have children." She sniffled.
He looked down at her. 'No," he said firmly. "I can't."
Her eyes had widened, and she snuggled in deeper to him. They had never mentioned that comment again, but it had served to bring them one step closer to breaking down those walls.
But now he was here, with this miracle right in front of him, and he acted like he didn't care. When Langly had made that comment about his part in the "blessed event", Mulder had just given her a puzzled look. How could he be puzzled?
He couldn't not know, could he? He honestly couldn't not know?
She sighed and went back to the kitchen. He was being so stupid! Getting into pissing contests with Doggett, making snide remarks. She understood that he had gone through such a traumatic ordeal, but that's what she was here for. Why couldn't he understand that?
He was sitting at the laptop when she walked back in, and he glanced up at her before going back to his work. "I'm okay, Scully. You don't have to stay here if you have somewhere to go."
She gaped at him, but he didn't look up again. "No, Mulder, it's fine. I don't mind."
"Well, are you sure there isn't someone who would mind?" he said evenly.
"What the hell does that mean?" she asked angrily, her temper getting the best of her. This was getting ridiculous.
He sat back and looked at her. 'What did he mean by that, Scully?"
"Who?"
"Langly. What did he mean by my part in this…" His gaze flickered down to her stomach before going back up to her face. She couldn't read his expression. "Blessed event?"
Her mouth really dropped open now. "Excuse me?"
"Do they not know the father? I had assumed you would have introduced them. Or maybe not, considering how close they are to me. Maybe you were ashamed at how warm the bed sheets still were before you let him jump in."
All she could do was stare at him. This was unreal. How could he not know?
Mulder pushed the chair back so hard it toppled over. He stalked over to the window, then slammed his hand against the wall. "Who is it?" He hissed, before turning around to pin his gaze on her. 'Is it Skinner? Did he 'comfort' you while I was gone? Or maybe this Doggett? Your new 'partner'? We know how you act with your partners, Agent Scully. Or maybe just some random one nighter to get your mind off of it all? Hmm? Why don't you tell me, tell me who you betrayed me with!" he screamed, backhanding a vase off of the windowsill. It went crashing onto the floor.
She snapped. "How pregnant do I look to you, Mulder?" she screamed. "You went missing six months ago. How pregnant do I look?"
"How the hell should I know?"
Scully turned and stalked towards the door. "I don't have to listen to this." She stopped, keeping her back to him. "I searched for you; I prayed for you, I spent every moment thinking about you. Are you fucking kidding me?" she punctuated that phrase by spinning back around and throwing a paperweight she had snagged off of the table at him. She moved closer, throwing anything she could get her hands on. "You bastard! How dare you! I promised you – you - Mulder! Not Skinner, not Doggett, not Bill fucking Clinton! You! How dare you doubt me?"
Mulder had been moving around the kitchen to avoid the objects being hurled at him. "Well what do you expect me to think?" he shouted. "I leave and you're barren. I come back, and you're pregnant. Care to explain that one?"
"Care to ask for an explanation before you start throwing accusations?" she screamed, throwing a mug at him. It fell to the floor behind him and shattered.
"As I see it, you're the only one throwing things!" He moved forward quickly and grasped her shoulders. This was so uncharacteristic of her, so un-Scully like, to behave this way. He chalked it up to hormones. "Just tell me who he is," he asked softly. "I want to know who took my place; I want to know who your baby is going to look like."
She stared at him for a moment, tears running down her face. "You, Mulder," she whispered mournfully. "This baby will look like you, because you are this baby's father."
He blinked. It wasn't something he was expecting to hear. The possibility hadn't occurred to him. "Scully, the in-vitro failed, and that was months before-"
"It wasn't the in-vitro, Mulder." She choked back a sob. "I was pregnant when you were abducted. I found out the same day they told me you disappeared. That's why I was getting sick. I was pregnant," she finished in a soft whisper, her eyes lowering.
"What?" he breathed. "How is that possible?"
"I don't know. You were the only person I've been with in years, Mulder, you know that. You know I would never betray you. We made this baby together. I don't know how, but we did. In fact, it looks like I got pregnant our first time. We didn't use protection. We didn't think we had to. I know I was barren, Mulder. I don't know how to explain it."
"Wait a minute. What about Old Smokey? What about when you went off with him?"
She winced. "No, I got my period after that. Besides, that was two months before, and I was only a month along when you were abducted. And…" she hesitated. "I had genetic typing done, just in case. The baby is yours, Mulder. Without a doubt."
It seemed as though, for a moment, the world stood still. This was his baby? His? "Oh my God," he whispered. "We're having a baby?"
Scully nodded, and his grip on her loosened. She took a step back. "How could you think I would get over you, Mulder? Ever?"
"I'm sorry, I-"
"No." she shook her head. "We had finally gotten past all this, Mulder, past all your insecurities. I can't take steps back, I can't do it again. I understand how horrible this has all been for you. But don't take it out on me. Don't take it out on our baby." She turned to leave, but he grabbed her again.
"I'm not," he said softly. "But you have had time to deal with this. I am learning this all for the first time. What do you expect form me? How do you think you would react to something like this?"
She nodded. "It has been a shock, but your attitude is completely uncalled for. Accusing me, screaming at me. I have not had an easy pregnancy, Mulder. I'm sorry you're insecure, I'm sorry you feel that you don't fit in. If you had been here, if we had found out together, this would all be easier for you, but I can't change that. This is your baby, you are the only one I want, and until you can accept that, we have nothing to say to each other." She looked pointedly at her sleeve where Mulder had his grip.
"I can accept it."
She raised an eyebrow. "That easily?"
"Hey," he smiled weakly. "You're the one who always said I would believe anything."
She smiled. "And I'm right about that."
He pulled her close and she buried her head in his chest. "I'm not going to lie. I'm going to need time and space to deal with all this on my own. It's a lot to assimilate. Please understand that. Understand that I'm not shutting you out. I just have a lot to think about. I have to go into 'daddy' mode, you know?' her chuckled. "Jesus, 'daddy'. Never thought I'd be a daddy."
"Well you are one. If you want to be," she pulled back to look at him, a hint of fear in her eyes.
"Now who's paranoid?"
She left shortly after that, only to run into Doggett on the street.
Everything that followed, all the light remarks and innuendos, musings about pizza boys, joking inquiries, she knew they were all in jest. She knew it was just his way of working everything out. She knew that when the baby came, he'd be ready to be a father. She knew it when he brought a gift by for the baby, even though he made that comment about them just working together. That had been a little snotty, and if she hadn't seen the twinkle in his eye, and known he was just teasing her, she probably would have been pissed. She knew it when she was in the hospital, and he placed his hand on her stomach. She knew from the look in his eyes, the pride and astonishment. The joy. And she knew when he gave his sister's doll to her for their baby.
She knew. He loved the baby. He loved her.
