It feels so weird, using a pen and paper to do something like this. I didn't even know stuff like this existed anymore. I never was big on writing in a diary or anything before, but…

Well, it's a pass time, anyway. And it beats staring at rubble all day. And some junk about preserving history or whatever for someone to read this should it be found if I leave it somewhere or whatever. Blah Blah Blah.

In case I forget it, my name is Ruri Kurosaki, former fifth year student at Heartland's elementary school. If things had been different, I'd probably be in middle school by now, probably a third year, right on my brother's heels. He'd probably be a first year in high school by now. He's certainly got the height for it. The high school uniforms were so cool back then! Wish I could have seen him wear it at least once...

That does remind me that on the next supply search mission, to see if I can find him another pair of pants. His ankles are starting to show again and I think he's kind of embarrassed about it. That and the pair he has I don't think can handle another patch to cover his other patches. And I need to remember to look for more blankets and jackets since fall is coming soon. Who knows how fast it's going to get cold this year. Last year was brutal and who knows if we'll be lucky to find permanent shelter this year too. Hope those Fusions scum bastards don't find us again, or smoke us out like last time.

Oh, am I supposed to swear in this thing? Any old holobook would have deleted that immediately. But, this isn't a holobook, after all. Hope my brother doesn't find out I've been swearing. He'd freak out so much!

Though the look on his and Yuuto's faces when I did that one time…

I was really pissed off at the time, okay? And it just sort of… slipped out. I think I stunned all of them. Yuiko thought it was funny though.

Who's Yuiko? Well… she's one of the other girls in the group. She was in my brother's class before…

Well, before everything happened, actually. I don't even know if there's enough paper in this thing to explain about back then. Guess that's another thing to add to the list of things to try and find on the next supply run mission: More of this… paper stuff, some blankets and jackets, and some new pants for my brother. At least this thing is good for keeping lists.

But, I probably should give at least some info about what happened. History is written by the winners or whatever, right? And I don't want those fusion scum bastards to mess with our history, what really happened that day, three years ago.

What happened… was horrible. A day that changed a lot things for all of us. Me, my brother, Yuuto, all of us.

It had started off normally enough. The teacher, Mr. Himura, was asking us to read aloud from our holobooks. I dreaded reading aloud days back then. It wasn't like I hadn't studied it beforehand. I read it aloud at least a hundred times at home, practicing. My big brother, Shun, could attest to that, him knocking on the wall at random intervals to tell me I was being too loud. Either that or it was to correct me. Or he would tell me about more advanced dueling theories even though I was only in elementary school back then and couldn't grasp such theories and techniques back then.

He was annoying like that, trying to be a Mr Know-It-All when he really wasn't. Glad to know that at least that hasn't changed much about him.

But anyway, it was Reading Day and I was as prepared as I could be. Yuuto had just finished reading beside me. He didn't struggle on any words or anything, but his voice was still flat and lifeless, as if reading aloud was tedious to him. Mr. Himura thanked him and asked him to sit down again, Yuuto more than happy to oblige and sat back down again, his elbow resting on the table while his hand cradled his chin as he stared distantly out the window, still looking bored.

"Kurosaki," Mr. Himura had called to me. It was the only time I regret being deskmates with Yuuto. Because the two of us were often the quieter ones in class, the teacher seemed to think that we weren't participating, when it wasn't true at all. Both of us got good grades, so there wasn't much reason to be worried about us, and yet that seemed to be the case every Reading Day. I stood up nervously, feeling my legs shaking.

"Can you start us from the top of slide five, please?"

I remember nodding to him and turning to the right slide. It was something about the basics of Xyz summoning, something that's so old hat now. But I do remember stumbling over my words, my voice dropping in volume the longer I continued while the class snickered quietly. One even interrupted when I was really stumbling over a word, complaining that he couldn't hear. I remember feeling so embarrassed. I had practiced so hard before and it was all slipping away from me. Another girl in class, Yuiko's little sister, Junko, I think, volunteered to continue where I had left off, subtly noticing that I couldn't continue further. Mr. Himura agreed to let her do it, but he gave me a gentle look and asking to see him after class was over. The class laughed quietly as I sat down in my seat, my face feeling so hot and red that day. I remember thinking that if the ground could open up and swallow me whole, I wouldn't mind it.

But, back then, I didn't think that kind of wish could come true. And, thinking back on it now, I'm starting to think I shouldn't have.

Just as Junko was about to start her reading, the lights in the room flickered and turned completely off, the holoboard at the front turning off as well. The only light in the room was daylight from the sun outside and the dim glow of our holobooks. Mr. Himura tried to reassure us, I remember, that it was just a drill and that we should all try and stay calm. I remember looking at Yuuto and saw that he was also looking at me, his eyebrow raised in that way that it usually does when he doesn't know what's going on.

It was then that we heard screaming outside, both human screams and the sounds of a Duel Monster screaming in pain. I remember thinking that my D-Gazer hadn't notified us of a duel going on. Come to think of it, no one else's had either. Our first instinct was to set our D-Gazers to Duel Mode, to try and find the source of the duel going on.

But there wasn't one. Matter of fact, there weren't any duels going on at the time, since everyone was in their classes at that time. It wasn't free period yet, when there were usually duels galore. So the fact that it sounded like a duel was going on just outside yet it wasn't registering on the D-Gazers…

It still unsettles me to this day, feeling so tense with fear. Yuuto had even subconsciously moved closer to me, taking a hold of my arm. When I was about to ask him what he was doing, the door burst open, the room soon filling up with smoke. Yuuto pulled me down hard, under the desk as Mr. Himura demanded to know what was going on. He never did receive an answer. The last we heard from him after that, was him screaming in pain while the rest of the class stared in horror.

I don't remember his face, but I do remember thinking it was odd, a person in a school uniform was attacking us. It wasn't like our uniforms though, nor like the middle school uniform my brother had been sporting at the time. Matter of fact, the colors and his mask reminded me of a certain old Duel Monster, Obelisk the Tormentor, that had been long lost for centuries. It was used by the very first King of Games, Yuugi Mutou, along with his other legendary cards. It was like something from the history holobooks, something you don't expect to see in real life. Yet it was happening then. It's still happening now.

He set his monster down on his playmat, which was glowing like a hologram, in the shape of a sword even! No one had seen that model of Duel Disk before, let alone had known that holograms could hold up the weight of anything. Our wonderment soon turned to terror once his monster was summoned and it proceeded to run around the room, knocking into the walls and desks as if it were nothing, knocking chunks out of the wall and breathing fire. That kind of stuff was normal during a Duel, when holograms would simulate what would happen if Duel Monsters interacted with the real world, like knocking into buildings or whatever.

Yet, when that monster hit the wall, knocking a good chunk out of it, we could feel the crash of the falling stone. The heat in the room soared as it breathed fire and it felt like it was singeing my skin, like holding your hand over a hot burner, only much worse. The room had erupted into screams by then, and Yuuto and I were still hiding under the desk. I remember him whispering to me that we needed to move, to find a way out of here. I didn't know where to go then, just feeling so scared and terrified. My first instinct had been to stay hidden, to call for help on my D-Gazer, but our attacker would give us no luxury. He sent his monster around the room, now in chaos, knocking over desks and scattering students everywhere. And when a purple light came from his Duel Disk, kid after kid would scream and disappear, soon fluttering to the floor in the form of a card.

We didn't have much time, with the room slowly emptying and filling with rubble and cards. Yuuto did the only thing he knew to do. Keeping a firm grip on my arm, as soon as he saw that the attacker was distracted, he ran with me to the second door of the classroom, hiding us in the mass of escaping students. We escaped into the hall, finding the situation very much the same as back in the classroom. There were many more attackers out in the halls. The only thing we could do is run. I didn't know where we were going, but I just knew at the time we had to get away. I remember Yuuto had to break through a window when we were blocked on all other sides and us jumping down a few good feet to the ground below. Yuuto had broken most of my fall when we landed, but I had still landed wrong and my foot hurt really bad when I tried to run again. Yuuto, still bleeding from breaking the window and bruised from the fall as well, still took the time to take me onto his back and piggyback carried me to safety. I don't think I could have survived that day if Yuuto hadn't been there. Even now, I still think that. Yuuto has gotten me out of a lot scrapes, yet he never, ever, expects any thanks. I always do, don't get me wrong, and I've helped him out a lot too when he was in trouble. But, sometimes, I feel like he always saves me more than I do him.

He never hesitates if he thinks one of us is in danger, always the first to defend one of our friends and the last to leave to make sure the threat is vanquished. But he's also one of the less vocal of the group, preferring to stay on the outside and observe, only adding his input when necessary. He was like that in school too, preferring to be by himself and observe rather than actively participating. Maybe that's why I was always drawn to him. He's oftentimes quiet and observant; he lets you approach him first, even if you take your sweet time in doing so. It was relieving to me at the time, having not been very good at approaching and talking to people on my own. Yuuto made it feel like it was okay to approach him and talk to him, easy even. The other students in our class didn't seem to agree, I remember. Yuuto always seemed to have this dark air around him, like he was always cold and serious because he didn't really talk to anyone and he was always alone, not having many friends.

The first time I had approached him, well, it was because I felt bad that he wasn't eating at lunch one day. Sounds silly, right?

He was just sitting outside by himself under a shady tree, no kind of lunch to be seen. He wasn't even studying or anything under that tree. He was just sitting, alone like usual, with his eyes lightly closed and his breathing even. I had thought he was taking a nap at first, until one of his eyes opened when he heard me approaching. As usual, I was a fidgeting mess, trying to form the right words but failing miserably. Yuuto was patient though, despite his raised eyebrow at my approaching him. Finally, I showed him my reason for approaching him, which was to give him the cookies my mom had packed into my lunch. She always gave me too many, as if expecting me to share them with my friends. Expect, back then, I didn't have too many friends to share cookies with and my brother usually had his own share of desserts for lunch. Yuuto was surprised at the offering, the first time I'd seen such a bewildered expression on his face before. He also looked torn between accepting the offer and politely declining, but he ended up begrudgingly accepting the small offering when his stomach growled loud enough for *both* of us to hear. I think I might have laughed at him then, him blushing and pouting at being ratted out by his own stomach. I had my suspicions but Yuuto never would tell me why he didn't have lunch at school, or even money to at least buy himself a sandwich at the school cafeteria. Since then, I had made it my mission to make sure I had extra in my lunches, to make sure he at least had something to eat everyday. He never really said anything about it, but I could tell he was always grateful, tearing into the treats and snacks, almost choking on it he was eating so fast. And when I asked him if he'd like to come over to my house to study for an upcoming exam, he jumped at the chance, staying as long as he possibly could. My parents loved him, being so polite and soft-spoken with his 'Yes, Sir' and 'No thank you, Ma'am'. My brother didn't like him too much at first. When we were studying together one time, he actually came into my room and sat down at the table with our holo-books and notes spread out.

He didn't say a word, but just gave Yuuto this look of contempt, as if he was suspicious of Yuuto doing something gross and untoward behind closed doors. In spite of this, Yuuto chose to ignore him and only looked at me, continuing to ask study questions. When I got stuck on one question, however, my brother, in a low and flat voice, answered the question effortlessly. Then it was Yuuto's turn to give his own look of contempt. But my brother wasn't done yet. He decided to test Yuuto instead, reading the questions that were practically child's play to him, being a grade above both of us. Yuuto, not backing down from the challenge, answered the questions quickly, correctly, and effortlessly. He even answered questions correctly that weren't on our study slides, stuff that my brother was studying in his classes. They only stopped when Mom came into the room with cookies and drinks, thinking that we needed a break from studying with all the yelling of test questions and rapid-fire answering.

Yuuto became a frequent visitor at our house after that, even getting into the habit of walking me home no matter how long he stayed, and with or without my brother there to give him a hard time and disapproving looks. But, Shun also grew on him too. He liked to challenge Yuuto to duels all the time, whether he won or lost. I don't even remember what the record was back then, but I could tell that Yuuto was having fun too. He opened up a bit more everyday it felt like. He liked the frequent challenges my brother laid for him, and he would always lose track of time whenever he came over for a few hours, his smile growing brighter and more open as time went on.

Nowadays, he doesn't smile as much as he used to, but, once in a while, I do see the remnants of that once bright smile, the years of hard battling and harsh living conditions lifting off of him and he looks like the little kid I once knew that liked to walk me home and tear into my extra food when he thought I wasn't looking.

Maybe someday, when Heartland is free of those Fusion rats and we can start to rebuild again, I can see his smile one more time. The little boy smile that he used to have all those years ago.

I kinda just miss it, you know?