SiMiLeY: Please be nice…this is my first fic and I really have no clue as to what im doing …hopefully ur constructive criticism will help my writing.
When Darkness Falls
Why is he doing this to me? I don't understand. I mean I…I constantly tell myself that he doesn't mean it…he doesn't mean to hurt me like he does, but I'm starting to believe that maybe…maybe he does. Every time I tell him that I love him, every time I offer myself to him, he…he rejects me. I don't think that I can go through it again. I wont go through it again. He no longer has my heart. No more will I sit and weep for him. No more praying that he will learn to love me. I'm through with it! He has no idea what he has lost. I will no longer put myself through the hurt of loving him knowing that he doesn't return the feeling. But how? How can I stop loving him? I…I don't think I can do it. Every time he looks at me I loose it. Every time I hear his voice I melt. Being around him constantly, smelling his cologne, seeing his beautiful eyes doesn't make it any easier. I know he will never feel for me what he feels for her. I want him to…oh I want him t,. But he won't, and every time I see him I wonder…is he smiling at her or me. When he takes me out, is he thinking about her? Does he do all the things he does just because…I look like her? Does that have something to do with it? Why won't he just love me? You know, I think that I like that he can't have her. I think that I like that he can't get what he wants most. It makes me feel better, knowing that he is going through the exact same pain that I am going through. Make him feel as bad as I do. Let her torment him like he does me. Let it…
"Riku!"
"Wah?"
"Riku are you okay? You kindda just spaced out there for a second." Diasuke said his whispers riddled with concern. He was turned around leaning on her desk, his hands supporting his head. She just nodded at him and looked out the classroom window. Daydreaming in class was becoming a habit for her. Now days she always found herself deep in thought usually about Diasuke. "Riku…you sure that you're ok? I mean you've been acting this way for a long time now. Are you made at me or something" Riku just closed her eyes in silence at the sound of those words.
Hmm he seems generally concerned about me. I wonder why. I've been daydreaming like this for quite some time now, more than a week for sure. Why as he all of a sudden noticed?
"You are mad at me aren't you." Diasuke said after he realized that he was not going to get a better answer than the silent reply he was receiving. "Riku…I honestly have to say that I don't know why you are mad at me, but what ever the reason I'm sorry…okay?"
"No Diasuke, it's not okay." Diasuke looked at her with confusion. Clearly he wasn't use to getting that kind of response from Riku. Usually when he apologized or turned on his sweet innocent charm, he could get her to forgive him for anything. So when heard her say that his apology was not acceptable he was startled, taken back, surprised, shocked. The look on his face gave it away clear as day. He looked at her for a long moment. Then slowly turned around and began to think about what the cause of this sudden change was. Once Riku saw the dazed look on Diasuke's face, she smiled.
I…What the hell was that? Riku must really be mad at me. God what did I do? I must have really pissed her off to get that cold look from her. Diasuke turned around again still looking disoriented. "Riku…can I walk you home?"
"I don't think that would be such a great idea Diasuke." Riku said coolly. Diasuke's look of disorientation turned into a look of horror. Diasuke turned back around.
Now she turns down my offers to walk her home?! What the hell is going on? He stayed
facing forward for a while before he turned back to her.
"Yes Diasuke." Riku whispered.
"Please let me walk you home Riku…" he pleaded.
"…Why?"
"Just because….I want to."
"What if I don't want to?"
"Why don't you want to? What did I do?" Diasuke's voice now getting louder out of frustration.
"Shhh! Not so loud Diasuke!" Riku hissed.
"Well then tell me what the hell I did!" he hissed back at her. No answer was heard from Riku and that angered Daisuke. "Just let me walk you home please Riku I have to talk to you about something…its really important."
"Fine." Diasuke nodded and turned back around in his seat. Riku shook her head.
Why couldn't I just say no? I was doing so well. Damn now I have to walk home with him. I know its going to be hard keeping myself from going back to him…but I wont! I cant.
School let out and Diasuke was waiting for Riku outside of the school. He looked worried. He looked around franticly for her. He wondered if she was actually going to come. Soon enough she walked out the building and walked over behind him. He was facing the gate ready to walk home alone. She got close to him, his sent was intoxicating. She whispered gently in his ear " I'm ready to go when you are."
Diasuke jumped. He turned around startled by Riku's behavior. Riku laughed. Diasuke smiled. "Lets go then." He said as the walked away from the school.
The first few minutes of their walk was silent. Both Riku and Diasuke thinking. Diasuke constantly looking of to his left at her, growing nervous with every glance. He started sweating. Riku looked back at him. "What's wrong with you Diasuke?" she asked with a laugh.
"Riku…there is something I have to tell you."
"Yeah…that's what you say."
"It's kind of hard to say it…especially to you."
"Just tell me Diasuke."
"I…ummm.." he cleared his throat, "I…l-love you Riku." Riku stopped dead in her tracks.
"What…did you say?"
"I said….I love you Riku…Every time you told me that you loved me I grew more confused. I thought I loved Risa, but for some reason hearing you say that you loved me made me so happy. I realized that I loved you too. But like I said you have been acting really weird lately, and I haven't been able to tell you until now." Riku just looked at him startled. Staring at him she breathed in slowly. "Riku… you do still love me right?"
