A/N: All right, I'm starting a new fanfic. This one is going to be one that will be very personal to my own feelings, so please excuse me if the characters, especially Kagome, get a bit OOC. I don't know where this story is heading right now, but I'm sure it will be a lot longer than my other ones. So here's the first chapter, enjoy!
Disclaimer: I don't own Inuyasha, but I would if Rumiko Takahashi decided to be generous. Now all I need is a plane ticket to Japan. Anyone interested in buying me that, pppppllllleeeeeaaaaassssseeeee?
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Love is Pathetic
Chapter 1
What is Love?
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Kagome sighed. She had been at this for at least two weeks now. Why can't her Grandpa understand? Why WON"T her grandpa understand? She did not need this. She did not want any of this. All of it is fake; all of it is just a bunch of lies. How much longer did she have to sit there, on her throne, pretending to be some beautiful regal princess. She glanced down in front of her. Men, lots of men, just lined up in front of her, waiting for her to show some expression. What did they want from her? She did not want to meet them, but no, her grandpa, who was the current king, and her mother, the current heir of her country, had to make her.
Kagome sighed again. Men were lined up in front of her. Each of them would come up to her, the royal script would announce their names, and they would kiss her hand, waiting for her to acknowledge that she wanted them to stay. But they were disappointed. Kagome did not want any of them to stay. She just wanted them to leave her alone. She had never wished to be ugly more in her life. At least no one would want to marry her when she was ugly. Why couldn't she just be some ugly child that no one wanted to look at twice, instead of the proclaimed "most beautiful woman in the country".
She glared at the man in front of her. He kissed her hand, and waited. She did not give any sign that he was even there. She could barely feel her hand, after it was held and kissed at least a hundred times that day. She was sure that she had gone over all the nobles in every single country in the world at least twice already. How much longer would she have to endure this pain? The man moved on, obviously disappointed.
'Good,' Kagome thought coldly, 'let him be disappointed. Let them all be disappointed. Most of all, let Grandpa be disappointed so that he would leave me alone!' There! She saw the end of the line for that day. She was so happy she almost lost control of her neutral face and grinned. The result would be disastrous if she did. The man in front of her would get to stay, and she would be put through hell.
She forced herself to calm down. She began counting the number of men left until the last. 3, he left. 2, he also left. 1, the last one! How her heart rejoiced! At last, one of the worst days in her life was about to end!
There! He was gone. Kagome was finally free! Free from her court mask, free from the numbness of her hand, most of all, she was free from the men she had to meet! She lept off her throne, took off her uncomfortable high heels, and began to run. She was running so fast that even her guards could not catch her. She felt the wind running through her hair as she picked up her speed even more. She had never felt so free in her life. Why couldn't her life be like this, in the freedom of the wilderness, instead of being penned up in the royal palace?
Kagome did not know how long she ran. She had ran out of the great hall, where she met with her suitors, past the fake fountains and trees of the palace, past the sleeping quarters of the servants, even past the main gates of the palace. She was out of the palace. She was in the wild forest behind the palace.
She smiled. Her speed slowly decreased as she reached her destination. At last, she stopped. She stared at the scenery in front of her. It was so beautiful that she could not even tear her eyes away to blink. It had been such a long time since she last came here, she almost forgot what it felt like to be embraced by nature again.
In front of her was a small lake, surrounded by trees. At first sight, it might seem plain and simple, but after staying there a while, many things will happen to the person. Kagome suddenly felt calmer and less angry. She inhaled the sweet scent of the forest slowly, letting out all of her frustration. 'Yes,' she thought slowly, 'this is a place of healing. This is where my emotions can dissolve into nothing.' She sat down onto the damp ground, not caring that she was getting dirt on her elegant dress. She closed her eyes and began to let herself get lost in the peace of the wilderness.
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Kagome did not know how long she sat there. Time had become nonexistant for her. All she new was that she belonged in that place. She felt more at home before the lake than she ever did in the palace. She was so lost in the smell of the fresh air, the feeling of the dampness on her bare skin, the silence of the forest, that she missed the soft steps behind her.
"How long are you going to sit there before you go back?" A very familiar voice announced its arrival. The owner of the voice set herself beside Kagome and began to gaze at the lake. "I can see why you like to come here now and then."
"Where are the others, Sango?" Kagome had finally opened her eyes to a black haired girl beside her. Sango was wearing her casual outfit that consisted of many layers of purple robes to bring out the color of her eyes. She was slightly taller than Kagome, and about two or three years older. She had been hired by Kagome's Grandfather to protect Kagome from all the youkais out there to get Kagome. Sango is one of the best youkai exterminators alive, and Kagome was happy that she had finally met a friend who liked her for who she really was, not just the crown of a princess.
Sango sighed. "Not far behind. I managed to loose them for a while, but they'll find us soon." She once again gazed out to the lake, lost in thoughts.
Kagome grinned evilly at the distracted Sango. Only one person in the world could get her to be lost from everything in the world--Miroku. "Thinking about Miroku again?" Kagome teased.
Sango blushed slightly. "No, why would I be thinking about that pervert?"
Kagome did not answer. No matter how much Sango tried to deny it, Kagome could still see that her only friend had a crush on the lecherous priest. She glanced at Sango, who fell back into her musing again, and sighed.
'Why? Why does she even like that lech?' Kagome thought slowly. 'It's not like he is such a nice person! He would ask any girl to bear his child if he got the chance, so why does Sango even bother with him?'
"Why don't we go back now? I'm sure everyone else is worried about you." Sango told Kagome, cutting off her thoughts.
"Right." Kagome answered absently, and got up to walk back to the palace with Sango.
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"Why did you run off without even telling us?" Kagome's mother was practically yelling at her. "You were lucky Sango was with you. If some demon decided to kill you, we wouldn't know what to do!"
"Calm down, mom." Kagome said, extremely bored with her mother's rant, which she had heard just about a million times. "I'm all right, aren't I? Besides, I have miko power, you know. I do know how to defend myself."
"That's not the point! The point is that you should never go anywhere without us knowing. You are a princess, Kagome. Start acting like one!"
Kagome was starting to get angry. She had had this argument with her mother for god knows how many times, but her mother still wouldn't understand her. "Mother, you know perfectly well that I do not want to be a princess. I just want to go live in the forest and never have anything to do with civilization. I just want to be left out of all this politics and rules of the court crap!"
"Well, too bad!" Kagome's mother was angry too. "You have been born into this family, so you have to take on the responsibility."
"That is just not fair! I shouldn't be forced to anything I don't want to do. Just like that husband selecting. I don't want to marry, Mother! I don't want all these men lined up in front of me, trying to catch my eye. I just want to be left alone! Why can't you and Grandpa accept this?"
"Life is not fair, Kagome. Tomorrow, I will select a few elegible young men for you to meet. You will spend time with them, and choose one to be your husband." The queen started towards the door. "You -will- fall in love with one of them." Her voice was hard. With that, she left Kagome's room and closed her door.
Kagome stared at the door. Her mother did not understand, neither did her grandpa. She walked into the bathroom and threw some icy cold water from the sink onto her face. She stared into the mirror. Looking back at her was a girl around the age of seventeen. Black hair, blue-grey eyes, and extremely pretty, Kagome was cursed with the perfect face, not to mention the perfect body. She did not want all of this. All she wanted was a normal life and a friend.
'Love,' Kagome snorted. 'What is love? Love is just something people invented to make fear sound better. Humans are afraid of spending their whole life alone, they feared isolation. So, they would invent a new feeling and say it's the reason why people get married. They are just afraid of loneliness. They are just afraid that no one would remember them after they are dead. But what difference does that make? You live a life, and then die. After you are dead, everything in life is gone too. After you are dead, nothing you left when alive would exist anymore. After you die, everything would end, and nothing would matter anymore.
'So why do people even care if they are remembered or not? Everybody would die sometime, so why would they invent this new sensation to justify their fears of being alone and live in a lie? Wouldn't life be much better if everything was the truth? Love, I'll tell you what love is--love is a pathetic excuse for companionship. No, love is pathetic itself.'
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How did you like the first chapter? I'm hoping that this would be a good story, since I did pour my heart and soul into it. Not the writing, just the ideas of love being a media image to make TV shows more dramatic. You probably think I'm insane or weird right now, but that's what I believe. And also, excuse the extreme OOC of Mrs. Higurashi. I knew she was supposed to be easy-going, but an easy-going mother just doesn't work in this fanfic, so please send me death threats if you wish for me to change her personality a bit.
Disclaimer: I don't own Inuyasha, but I would if Rumiko Takahashi decided to be generous. Now all I need is a plane ticket to Japan. Anyone interested in buying me that, pppppllllleeeeeaaaaassssseeeee?
--------------------
Love is Pathetic
Chapter 1
What is Love?
--------------------
Kagome sighed. She had been at this for at least two weeks now. Why can't her Grandpa understand? Why WON"T her grandpa understand? She did not need this. She did not want any of this. All of it is fake; all of it is just a bunch of lies. How much longer did she have to sit there, on her throne, pretending to be some beautiful regal princess. She glanced down in front of her. Men, lots of men, just lined up in front of her, waiting for her to show some expression. What did they want from her? She did not want to meet them, but no, her grandpa, who was the current king, and her mother, the current heir of her country, had to make her.
Kagome sighed again. Men were lined up in front of her. Each of them would come up to her, the royal script would announce their names, and they would kiss her hand, waiting for her to acknowledge that she wanted them to stay. But they were disappointed. Kagome did not want any of them to stay. She just wanted them to leave her alone. She had never wished to be ugly more in her life. At least no one would want to marry her when she was ugly. Why couldn't she just be some ugly child that no one wanted to look at twice, instead of the proclaimed "most beautiful woman in the country".
She glared at the man in front of her. He kissed her hand, and waited. She did not give any sign that he was even there. She could barely feel her hand, after it was held and kissed at least a hundred times that day. She was sure that she had gone over all the nobles in every single country in the world at least twice already. How much longer would she have to endure this pain? The man moved on, obviously disappointed.
'Good,' Kagome thought coldly, 'let him be disappointed. Let them all be disappointed. Most of all, let Grandpa be disappointed so that he would leave me alone!' There! She saw the end of the line for that day. She was so happy she almost lost control of her neutral face and grinned. The result would be disastrous if she did. The man in front of her would get to stay, and she would be put through hell.
She forced herself to calm down. She began counting the number of men left until the last. 3, he left. 2, he also left. 1, the last one! How her heart rejoiced! At last, one of the worst days in her life was about to end!
There! He was gone. Kagome was finally free! Free from her court mask, free from the numbness of her hand, most of all, she was free from the men she had to meet! She lept off her throne, took off her uncomfortable high heels, and began to run. She was running so fast that even her guards could not catch her. She felt the wind running through her hair as she picked up her speed even more. She had never felt so free in her life. Why couldn't her life be like this, in the freedom of the wilderness, instead of being penned up in the royal palace?
Kagome did not know how long she ran. She had ran out of the great hall, where she met with her suitors, past the fake fountains and trees of the palace, past the sleeping quarters of the servants, even past the main gates of the palace. She was out of the palace. She was in the wild forest behind the palace.
She smiled. Her speed slowly decreased as she reached her destination. At last, she stopped. She stared at the scenery in front of her. It was so beautiful that she could not even tear her eyes away to blink. It had been such a long time since she last came here, she almost forgot what it felt like to be embraced by nature again.
In front of her was a small lake, surrounded by trees. At first sight, it might seem plain and simple, but after staying there a while, many things will happen to the person. Kagome suddenly felt calmer and less angry. She inhaled the sweet scent of the forest slowly, letting out all of her frustration. 'Yes,' she thought slowly, 'this is a place of healing. This is where my emotions can dissolve into nothing.' She sat down onto the damp ground, not caring that she was getting dirt on her elegant dress. She closed her eyes and began to let herself get lost in the peace of the wilderness.
--------------------
Kagome did not know how long she sat there. Time had become nonexistant for her. All she new was that she belonged in that place. She felt more at home before the lake than she ever did in the palace. She was so lost in the smell of the fresh air, the feeling of the dampness on her bare skin, the silence of the forest, that she missed the soft steps behind her.
"How long are you going to sit there before you go back?" A very familiar voice announced its arrival. The owner of the voice set herself beside Kagome and began to gaze at the lake. "I can see why you like to come here now and then."
"Where are the others, Sango?" Kagome had finally opened her eyes to a black haired girl beside her. Sango was wearing her casual outfit that consisted of many layers of purple robes to bring out the color of her eyes. She was slightly taller than Kagome, and about two or three years older. She had been hired by Kagome's Grandfather to protect Kagome from all the youkais out there to get Kagome. Sango is one of the best youkai exterminators alive, and Kagome was happy that she had finally met a friend who liked her for who she really was, not just the crown of a princess.
Sango sighed. "Not far behind. I managed to loose them for a while, but they'll find us soon." She once again gazed out to the lake, lost in thoughts.
Kagome grinned evilly at the distracted Sango. Only one person in the world could get her to be lost from everything in the world--Miroku. "Thinking about Miroku again?" Kagome teased.
Sango blushed slightly. "No, why would I be thinking about that pervert?"
Kagome did not answer. No matter how much Sango tried to deny it, Kagome could still see that her only friend had a crush on the lecherous priest. She glanced at Sango, who fell back into her musing again, and sighed.
'Why? Why does she even like that lech?' Kagome thought slowly. 'It's not like he is such a nice person! He would ask any girl to bear his child if he got the chance, so why does Sango even bother with him?'
"Why don't we go back now? I'm sure everyone else is worried about you." Sango told Kagome, cutting off her thoughts.
"Right." Kagome answered absently, and got up to walk back to the palace with Sango.
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"Why did you run off without even telling us?" Kagome's mother was practically yelling at her. "You were lucky Sango was with you. If some demon decided to kill you, we wouldn't know what to do!"
"Calm down, mom." Kagome said, extremely bored with her mother's rant, which she had heard just about a million times. "I'm all right, aren't I? Besides, I have miko power, you know. I do know how to defend myself."
"That's not the point! The point is that you should never go anywhere without us knowing. You are a princess, Kagome. Start acting like one!"
Kagome was starting to get angry. She had had this argument with her mother for god knows how many times, but her mother still wouldn't understand her. "Mother, you know perfectly well that I do not want to be a princess. I just want to go live in the forest and never have anything to do with civilization. I just want to be left out of all this politics and rules of the court crap!"
"Well, too bad!" Kagome's mother was angry too. "You have been born into this family, so you have to take on the responsibility."
"That is just not fair! I shouldn't be forced to anything I don't want to do. Just like that husband selecting. I don't want to marry, Mother! I don't want all these men lined up in front of me, trying to catch my eye. I just want to be left alone! Why can't you and Grandpa accept this?"
"Life is not fair, Kagome. Tomorrow, I will select a few elegible young men for you to meet. You will spend time with them, and choose one to be your husband." The queen started towards the door. "You -will- fall in love with one of them." Her voice was hard. With that, she left Kagome's room and closed her door.
Kagome stared at the door. Her mother did not understand, neither did her grandpa. She walked into the bathroom and threw some icy cold water from the sink onto her face. She stared into the mirror. Looking back at her was a girl around the age of seventeen. Black hair, blue-grey eyes, and extremely pretty, Kagome was cursed with the perfect face, not to mention the perfect body. She did not want all of this. All she wanted was a normal life and a friend.
'Love,' Kagome snorted. 'What is love? Love is just something people invented to make fear sound better. Humans are afraid of spending their whole life alone, they feared isolation. So, they would invent a new feeling and say it's the reason why people get married. They are just afraid of loneliness. They are just afraid that no one would remember them after they are dead. But what difference does that make? You live a life, and then die. After you are dead, everything in life is gone too. After you are dead, nothing you left when alive would exist anymore. After you die, everything would end, and nothing would matter anymore.
'So why do people even care if they are remembered or not? Everybody would die sometime, so why would they invent this new sensation to justify their fears of being alone and live in a lie? Wouldn't life be much better if everything was the truth? Love, I'll tell you what love is--love is a pathetic excuse for companionship. No, love is pathetic itself.'
--------------------
How did you like the first chapter? I'm hoping that this would be a good story, since I did pour my heart and soul into it. Not the writing, just the ideas of love being a media image to make TV shows more dramatic. You probably think I'm insane or weird right now, but that's what I believe. And also, excuse the extreme OOC of Mrs. Higurashi. I knew she was supposed to be easy-going, but an easy-going mother just doesn't work in this fanfic, so please send me death threats if you wish for me to change her personality a bit.
