I
walked into the house kind of immune and unaware. I was high again.
My mind was racing. Jumping from thought to thought like a frog
jumping from Lilly pad to Lilly pad in a pond. Like the lights of
Vegas going off everywhere and every few minutes trying to catch your
attention for more than a minute at a time. I was getting carried
away in myself again (Gabs) I thought I heard off in the distance. I
wasn't always like this you know (Gabs) I hear again? I'm
probably just tripping out... (Gabs)........."GABRIELLA!"
"Oh
crap, what mom?"
"Look at your eyes; you're a freaking
mess. What's wrong with you? Where did we go wrong?"
'Mom what
are you talking about? I'm fine. Honestly"
"don't lie to
me; I was 17 when I had you I'm not an idiot. Jesus ang your 16"
I
hated when my mother did that. She only knew about my various habits
and love affairs with weed. No biggie. I was more into mushrooms and
coke now... the white monster. It was just last august that I first
tried any drug what so ever. It all started at lunch. I was outside
with my friend Sharpay while she and Taylor were having a cigarette,
when this hot guy Chad asked me if I wanted to come for a ride with
him. I was kind of reluctant; I was more quiet and subtle. But I had
been crushing on him for a long time. And it was 3 weeks until school
was out. I was always the good girl... I never partied; I worked
almost every weekend and a lot through the week. I was tired of this,
I don't know what overcame me but I went with him. "Ang, I really
didn't think you'd say yes. I'm surprised"
"well if you
didn't think I would say yes why you asked?"
"I wanted to at
least ask. I've kind of been checking you out for a while now"
and
with that said we went down to the McDonalds. I wasn't hungry so I
didn't get anything but he did, then after I saw him reach over to
the glove compartment and pull out a mirror and a tiny bag of white
powder. "Want some?" he said in his cool voice.
"Ummmm..."
"Come
one, ha-ha I knew you wouldn't"
"did I say that?"
"No...
But..."
"Bust me a line then..."
"Alright, whatever the
pretty lady says."
So he did, and I took it. I had seen it done
before so I kind of knew what I was doing, but I was never prepared
for this. It was like being on the top of a rollercoaster waiting for
the drop. It was like when you were little, playing hide and seek in
the dark. And you knew the person was so close but when they catch
you still jump and scream because you're scared. It was like
nothing I ever felt before. I thought this would be the only time I
ever did it. I thought I was just kind of trying to impress Chad.
"How is it kid?"
"Don't call me that, its good. Chaddy
boy"
"good, what are you doing tonight? There's a big party
at Martha's tonight. Starts at 8, you down?"
"Pick me up at
9?"
"Hmmm make an entrance eh? Sounds good."
"K, see
yea then"
with that I hopped out of his car and put my
sunglasses on. All I had to do was get through the next 2 classes
without jumping up screaming, running around, or tripping myself out
to bad. After the first 20 minutes I decided it was a failure. So I
left and walked home knowing no one would be there until at least 6.
Working parents got to love it.
I was
finally home; it was only 1:30. I had never skipped school before but
I knew I couldn't stay there or id get in more trouble, ill just
tell my parents if they ask I came home with a headache. What to
wear? I had never really dressed for a big high school party beforeā¦
although I was in grade 11. Don't get me wrong, I know I was
liked... i guess? People always kept asking me to come out and party
I just never really got into it I guess? I never felt completely
confident that I was wanted at these parties. But I jumped in the
shower to clean up and hopefully sober up. I still felt like I was
bouncing off the walls. Well not so much as I just felt like I could
go forever, like I was just so happy. I knew I wasn't ridiculously
ugly, but I mean what normal high school girl really truly thinks
she's beautiful? Not a lot that's who. I was tall, and a size
8... Which I wasn't really proud of. I had pretty long thick black
hair that came down in big waves. I had a few good friends and I had
never really had a problem with a lot of people. And I knew not a lot
of people had a problem with me, because my lunch hours were always
taken up by people asking me to lunch. I finally decided to wear my
tight parasuco jeans and a leopard print halter top with a half
sweater on top, in black concourse. Then I wore my hair down long and
curly and a pair of black stilettos. I had light makeup on because I
had pretty good skin and I was pretty tanned. So light mascara
because my eyelashes reached my eye brows already, and some light
brown eye shadow.
I finally finished my make-over and I looked in
the full length mirror. I had to admit I thought I looked pretty
good. the time flew by and finally it was 8:30 so I was finishing up
final make-up touch ups and my mom finally asked "where are you off
to tonight Hun?"
"Oh, my friend Martha is having a few people
over so I said id come. that's cool right"
"yah obviously,
here's 30$ have fun"
when I was done everything, it struck me
as a surprise when Chad was actually on time, so I went out the door
before he could even get out of his car.
"Hey, your fast, I was
expecting to wait at least another hour"
"no I'm not that
kind of girl ha-has ready to go?"
"Yah, you want a line before
we go in?"
"....sure."
So I took another one... i walked
in the door of the party right behind Chad "hey everyone! Look who
decided to join in tonight!"
crowds of people turned to face
me, my face went slightly red, although I heard at least 20 people
saying "FINALLY!" I kind of laughed to myself.
The party was
going really well. I did have 2 more lines after the first one... I
kind of got to admit it wasn't that bad;
Chad asked me to come upstairs with him. So I went. Knowing my limits
obviously. we were making out in the bathroom when things started to
get really hot and heavy, then my cell went off,..."hello????"
"Gabs,
where are you????? Its 3:00 am!"
Oh crap, mom.
"Oh my god,
sorry mom ill is home soon!"
I hung up the phone before she
could ask me to come get me.
"Chad I need you to take me home,
or I won't see daylight until next winter! Ha-ha please"
"yah,
sorry I kept you so long, lets go"
we drove home, he even kissed
me goodnight it was really cute. I had never really had a boyfriend,
or been kissed like that.
I walked in the door to a wet blanket on
my fire of a night!
"What the hell Gabs?" yelled mom.
Uh
oh.
