Zombie Party

by Darren Heideman

[A Rod Serling lookalike steps out and looks to the audience.]

Rod Serling Lookalike: Halloween, a time of witches, vampires, pirates, and ghouls. I can bore you with a sappy intro, but what do you say we just jump right in?

[Everything pans to show a large building, where the Johnson family is hosting a Halloween party. Several party-goers enter. We then see Candace in her costume from "That's the Spirit", Jeremy dressed as a lumberjack, and Coltrane dressed as a pumpkin.]

[As Coltrane steps off to speak to the drummer of their band, Jeremy and Candace walk over to talk to other guests.]

Jeremy: Hey, having a good time?

[A party-goer at the snack table nods.]

Party-goer: I'll say. This is some primo guacamole. Your parents make it or buy it?

[Jack and Mrs. Johnson, dressed as a blond version of Sonny and Cher, then walk by.]

Jack: Bought. There was a really great deal at the army surplus store on the outskirts of town.

[Several party-goers gag in disgust, while others shrug and still eat.]

[We then see Mandy, dressed as in the platypus costume Candace wore in "Perry Lays an Egg". ]

Mandy: Hey, thanks again for letting me borrow this. Except for most people unable to tell I'm a girl from behind, it's not that bad.

[Candace cocks an eyebrow as Albert swings by, wearing the dragon costume he wore in "Nerds of a Feather".]

Mandy: I see you put in extra effort to look dorky.

Albert: No more effort than it'll take you to eat and drink.

[As he says this, Mandy fumbles with grabbing food and a drink, thanks to the gloves of the costume.]

Albert: May I? (dishes up a plate, which Mandy begrudgingly takes)

[Suddenly Jenny, dressed as a bumblebee, rushes up.]

Jenny: Head's up. Stacy's on her way over, and I'm not sure what she is.

[Stacy comes up]

Stacy: Well, what do you think of my costume?

Candace: Um, it looks great.

Stacy: (laughs) Can you guess who I am?

Candace: Um...

Jenny: Well...

[Both have no idea.]

Stacy: Oh, come on, I'm Kelly Hu. The actress.

Candace: Oh. I knew that.

[Stacy narrows her eyes in annoyance.]

Stacy: You didn't know.

[Suddenly the one party-goer stumbles, dropping his plate. Everyone looks to his face is now red and sweaty. Jeremy helps him keep standing.]

Jeremy: Come on, we'll find my parents.

[Jeremy escorts him over to his parents. Seeing this, Albert looks at the guacamole, suspects something, and goes looking about.]

[Jeremy and the sick party-goer reach his parents.]

Jeremy: Hey, Mom, Dad, he's not feeling well.

Mrs. Johnson: Uh-oh, another one?

[Jeremy sees that there are already several other party-goers that look sickly.]

Mrs. Johnson: Jack, this is serious. This could be food poisoning.

Jack: We don't want a lawsuit. Come on, we're going to make a call. Son, you get your friends together.

[Jack and Mrs. Johns leave, and Albert then comes up to Jeremy.]

Albert: Jeremy, I've been checking on some people, and there maybe something you should hear.

[As they walk away, a few of the guests start to show new changes.]

[In another room, Jack talks on the phone with the owner of the military surplus store. Mrs. Johnson hands him a container.]

Jack: Now, you listen, the only people getting sick are the ones who ate what I got at YOUR store. Well, it looks like guacamole. And the package says, "Classified, Project Chimera. If found, please read Tango-Zeta-44-6-DKE". Yeah, sounds yummy, pal.

[The phone line seems to cut off.]

Jack: Hello? Hello?

[Suddenly the line comes back on.]

Voice: Jack Johnson of Danville?

Jack: Speaking.

Voice: This is the Special Tactics Officer Aaron East. Listen carefully.

[Back at the party, Albert finishes his talk with Jeremy when Candace then arrives.]

Candace: Hey, what's going on?

Jeremy: Well, it looks like we may have a bigger problem brewing.

Candace: What do you mean?

[Just then, Jenny and Coltrane join them. Before anyone can say anything, a commotion catches everyone's attention, as Mandy pushes back against a party goer dressed as a cowboy, who also seems to exhibit signs of sickness.]

Mandy: You better back off, Doc Holiday, or you're gonna limp out of here tonight.

[The party goer turns and staggers off.]

Candace: A zombie cowboy costume. Talk about original.

Jeremy: Um, I don't think that's a costume.

[The cowboy then lunges at another party goer, biting them.]

Coltrane: Holy guacamole, he's a zombie!

[They look to see other zombies coming out and attacking more party goers.]

Jenny: Zombie attack!

[Candace, Jeremy, Jenny, and Coltrane run as zombies lurk behind them.]

[Stacy is standing with three more party goers, two guys and a girl.]

Stacy: Okay, she's done a lot, including voice work.

Guy #1: Lucy Liu?

Girl: Lauren Tom?

Guy #2: I know, Ming-Na.

Stacy: (sighs) Yes, I'm Ming-Na. (rolls her eyes)

[Candace, Jeremy, Jenny, and Coltrane rush by.]

Candace: Stacy, come on, run!

[Candace grabs Stacy, who turns to see the zombies. The others, however, stay standing where they are.]

Guy #1: Well, what's with them?

[The guys and girl are attacked by the zombies. As the attack continues, Albert and Mandy rush by.]

[Outside, Jeremy's parents wait, when a dark colored smart car with tinted windows pulls up and out jumps a guy dressed in gray suit and dark sunglasses.]

S.T. Agent: Mr. and Mrs. Jack Johnson?

[Jeremy's parents nod.]

S.T. Agent: My superior spoke with you on the phone. Is this the main entrance? (points to the building's front door)

Jack: Apart from the fire exits, yes, yes it is.

[The S.T. Agent nods and heads for the door.]

[Back inside, Candace and Jeremy, Jenny, Stacy and Coltrane, Albert, and Mandy run for the door, avoiding the zombies. But just as they reach the door, the S.T. Agent pulls out a heavy latch and clamps the door shut. Seeing this, Jack and Mrs. Johnson confront the S.T. Agent.]

Jack: What are you doing?

Mrs. Johnson: Our son is in there!

S.T. Agent: Now, don't worry, it'll all be fine. I just need for you to get a good whiff of this. (pulls out a spray can)

[The S.T. Agent sprays the vaporous contents into Jack and Mrs. Johnson's faces. They at once go wobbly and slump down.]

Jack: More pie, dear?

Mrs. Johnson: None for me, thanks.

[Back inside, everyone tries to open the door, but it's no use.]

Candace: You have an ax, chop down the door!

Jeremy: This is made of foam rubber. It won't cut through anything.

Jenny: Um, I'd hate to be the one who says "don't look now", but...don't look now.

[Everyone turns to see more zombies lurking forth.]

Jeremy: Run for the back! Go, go!

[Everyone runs past the ever growing horde of zombies, barely dodging them at every turn. They reach a side door, only to find it blocked off. They then try to get to the back door, but find it locked.]

[Rushing back and forth, they eventually take shelter in an inner room. Inside, Jeremy, Candace, and Stacy pull out their phones and try to make calls.]

Jeremy: I'm getting no signal.

Candace: Same here.

Stacy: Ditto.

Coltrane: Shouldn't we barricade some more?

Mandy: Oh, I don't know. It looks like...

[A zombie presses their face against the window.]

Mandy: Here, let me help you.

Albert: Hold it. Before we barricade ourselves in, has anyone been bitten?

[Everyone looks at him questioningly.]

Albert: We're dealing with a pathogen, possibly rabies related, that affects frontal cortex, triggering heightened aggressiveness. If you've been bitten and you have lock ourselves in with you, you'll be putting everyone at risk.

[Everyone check themselves, but find no bites. Mandy checks her arm, seeing a bite mark, but quickly hides it. ]

Candace: Are we really going to wait in here all night?

Stacy: Well, wait, won't the authorities arrive soon? I mean...

Albert: The people out there may not have all that long. Judging from their temperatures, in three hours they'll suffer brain damage, and three more hours after that, they'll...expire.

[Everyone gasps.]

Jenny: Isn't there something we can do for them?

Candace: Yeah, help the zombies that want to infect us. Nice.

Coltrane: Wait, what if we cranked up the AC full blast and cooled the entire building? Do you think that'd break their fevers?

Albert: It's feasible.

Jeremy: I know where the thermostat is.

Stacy: I don't know, sounds too risky.

Jenny: Come on, they're our friends and classmates. They're sick.

Stacy: Yeah, and they can make us sick as well.

Mandy: Um, hey, quick question, just out of curiosity. If say someone, um, got bit, well, maybe got infected, hmm, how would we know?

Albert: Well, they were infected by the tainted guacamole. An infection via a bite would have slightly different symptoms.

Coltrane: Well, what kind of symptoms?

[Mandy shuffles off to the side of the room.]

Albert: A range that occurs in stages. First, an itchy rash around the bite.

[Mandy starts scratching her bite.]

Albert: Next will come a sore throat.

[Mandy rubs her throat.]

Albert: Then they'll break out in a cold sweat.

[Mandy then wipes her now sweaty face.]

Albert: After that, they'll experience uncontrollable drooling.

[Saliva pours out of Mandy's mouth and she collapses.]

Albert: And then, the transformation would be complete, and the unlucky person would be nothing more than a raving, flesh-obsessed, beast driven only by the instinct to spread the infection.

[ Everyone hears growling and look to see the now zombie Mandy. She roars, lunging at Albert, biting him. Albert then goes through the symptoms as he too becomes a zombie.]

[Candace, Jeremy, Stacy, and Coltrane rush to one side of the room, as Jenny is separated from them and is backed in behind the zombie Mandy and Albert. The window's glass is shattered as the other zombies start to break in. The zombies then grab Jenny and drag her away.]

Stacy: No! Jenny!

Jeremy: Run!

[Candace and Jeremy flee, followed by Coltrane, who pulls Stacy behind him.]

Stacy: What about Jenny?

Coltrane: It's too late!

[Coltrane and Stacy turn to follow Candace and Jeremy, but are cut off by more zombies. They scream and run down another hallway, leading to a utility room. They rush inside and hold the door against the zombies that followed them.]

Stacy: This is it. I'm going to die, and as someone nobody knows or appreciates.

Coltrane: What are you talking about? You're Kelly Hu.

Stacy: You mean, you actually know?

Coltrane: Yeah, right from the moment I saw you.

Stacy: Oh, Coltrane...

[Just then, the zombies burst in and swarm over Stacy and Coltrane.]

[Jeremy and Candace reach the back of the building and stop to catch their breathes. It's then they realize they are all by themselves.]

Candace: Stacy? Coltrane?

Jeremy: Oh, no. We're the only ones left. Come on, we can still get to the thermostat. This way.

[The pair take a few steps, when a loud sound is heard.]

Candace: What was that?

Jeremy: It's okay, that was just the plumbing.

[They take another couple of steps, when another sound rattles.]

Candace: What was that?

Jeremy: That was the building settling.

[They take another couple of steps, when a strange cry is heard.]

Candace: What was that?

Jeremy: That was that macaw. (points to the bird)

[There is then the loud of groaning and grunts coming closer.]

Candace: What was that?

Jeremy: All right, that would be the zombies. Run!

[They run until they reach a utility room, the sounds of the zombies getting closer. Seeing no other way out except for a small window, Jeremy hunches down and holds his hands to give Candace a boost.]

Jeremy: Candace, go.

Candace: Not without you.

Jeremy: Candace, only one of us can get out in time.

[Jeremy gives Candace a boost to the window, lifting her up and out as the door finally gives out and the zombies move in and overtake Jeremy. Candace tries to reach down to him, but it is already too late. Biting her lip, she stands and rushes around the building.]

[The S.T. Agent stands by the door as Jeremy's parents still sleep. Candace then comes around and rushes for the door only to be blocked.]

Candace: I gotta get in there. My friends need me.

S.T. Agent: Little lady, there's a little thing called authority, I have it, you don't.

[He pulls out the can of knockout spray and tries to use it on Candace, when a sudden gust of wind causes the spray to waft into the his face.]

S.T. Agent: Whoa, this stuff's actually potent. (collapses)

[Candace steps over the Agent and removes the clamp sealing the door and takes a deep breath.]

Candace: This is it, don't get scared now.

[We then cut to inside where Candace runs screaming down the hallway. She dodges various zombies, just barely getting past them. She nearly runs into the zombie Mandy and Albert, but rushes down a second hall that is free of zombies. She looks and finds the thermostat right next to her.]

Candace: Oh, the thermostat is right here? Okay, that's straightforward enough. Here goes nothing.

[She then is grabbed by the arm, and she turns to sees that it is the now zombie Jeremy. Just then she is further surrounded by the zombie Stacy, Jenny, and Coltrane.]

Candace: Ooh, I'm gonna get bit, aren't I?

[Without hesitation, Zombie Jeremy, Stacy, Jenny, and Coltrane start biting Candace. Jeremy gets her neck, Stacy and Jenny each get her arms, and Coltrane one leg.]

Candace: Okay, okay, you bit me! You did what zombies do. Congrats.

[Candace then starts to succumb to the symptoms as she struggles to reach the thermostat. She does reach it and adjusts just before she collapses. She then slowly rises again, now a zombie. She joins the rest of the horde.]

[Cold air starts to shoot from all the vents, reaching full blast. As it spreads, everyone ceases their zombie-like behavior and slowly start to revert back to their normal selfs. People return to the snack table, as others start up the music again.]

[Back outside, additional vehicles roll up. Uniformed personnel exit and find the knocked out Mr. and Mrs. Johnson and S.T. Agent.]

Team Leader: What's the situation inside?

Officer: It looks...like they're having fun in there.

Team Leader: What?

Officer: Yeah, they look infected, but it seems to not that progressed somehow.

[The Team Leader looks in and sees indeed everyone inside having fun.]

Team Leader: Hmm, this changes things. All right, people, we're going with plan B.

[The others pulls out what look like oddly colored fire extinguishers. They then open the main door and unleash the contents.]

[Later, everyone is dazed and unsure of what happened. Party goers start to leave as Candace and her friends still sit about.]

Candace: Can you believe someone actually spiked the punch?

Stacy: (scoffs) I know. Who even does that?

Jenny: Well, it's all said and done, so we shouldn't dwell on it.

Candace: With Halloween over, we gotta get ready for Christmas.

Stacy: What about Thanksgiving? That comes first, you know.

Candace: Uh, yeah, that to.

[The Rod Serling lookalike steps out again.]

Rod Serling Lookalike: And so, the teenagers return home, preparing for tomorrow's starting of preparations for Christmas, and to a lesser extent, Thanksgiving. Now if you're excuse me, I have some shopping to do.